S#!FT; Extraordinary or Imaginary?
So...
I guess I'm sort of fated to die in a cosmic way.
I mean, I knew I was going to die anyway. That's not shocking in the slightest.
But... To know I'm going to die and everything supports me dieing and that I'm supposed to die.
That sort of hurts.
And what hurts more is how he knew all along. He knew all along that I was going to die and he didn't tell me anything. That I was screwed over the minute it all began and when I first even made contact.
I need to remember. Remember where I screwed up. Why I even bothered. Why I let this happen.
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1st Chapter;
Perspective of a Machine, Prelude
Calculating status...
Processing...
Warning;
Processes limited to 50% capability.
Sensory Systems;
50%
Shell Status;
50%
Energy Retainment Systems;
50%
Mobility Systems;
50%
Data Logging Processes...
Complete.
Calculating Location...
Processing...
Processing...
Processing...
ERROR.
Unable to Calculate Current Location.
Insufficient Data.
Insufficient Processing Capabilities.
Aborted Action.
Calculating Targets...
Processing...
3 Targets found.
Processing...
8 Targets found.
Processing...
27 Targets found.
Processing...
351 Targets found.
Processing...
Completed.
1,893+ Targets found.
Initiating Primary Objective.
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Perspective of a Girl, Perception
Her name was Issabelle Syandora. She was a rather normal girl. Her hair was long, enough to where she was beginning to worry about nearly sitting upon the golden locks. She dressed normally. Blue, denim, jeans, t-shirts with various pop references, sneakers, that sort of thing. She owned an ipod, kept it pocketed with the thin headphones and their cord wrapped around her neck in such a way that, with a jacket, it would be unnoticable. She was only fifteen years old.
Issabelle didn't really have any friends. She only ever was in the vicinity of other people when at school, and even then she avoided many like the plague. Her idea of a nice day out was to take a bag full of various snacks and books and songs out with her to a secluded place out in the middle of some backwoods by herself.
Her parents couldn't really find any way to convince their daughter to be more social. They already had their own issues, one addicted to methamphetamines and the other an alchoholic. Tensions were high in the household. There had been nights where Issabelle could go out on her own into the dark without her parents being any wiser due to their own argumentative bouts. The girl would leave and try to find her own quiet places to stay for several hours at a time, the act getting much easier with practice as she memorized the paths to a few fanciful hiding areas.
This evening was a night to test such memory skills. From within her room, the girl sat and listened to her parents' argument. Like always, there were the colorful slurs of one parent versus the high pitched and almost wailing injustices of the other reverberating through thin walls and vents. Issabelle had a room that was very modest by only containing a heavily worn dresser, simple twin-sized bed, a small night stand with a chipped lamp, a scarcely used closet, and a book shelf that mainly held tales and tomes from her childhood. There was little that seemed even relatively new in the room.
A backpack was procured from beneath the bed, Issabelle sliding it up and setting it upon the covers beside herself, working quietly in the dark. She felt through the bag, sorting out familiar textures. A worn book she was only halfway through reading, a couple blankets; one soft and the other built more like a sleeping bag, a flashlight, a bag of peppermints, bag of chips, a few bottles of water... That pocket checked out. After rezipping that, she checked the side pockets, glancing at her bedroom door every twenty seconds or so to ensure there wasn't the shadow of a person about to enter. She had her lighter, good.
Issabelle closed the backpack up once more and slid the straps over her shoulders, walking forwards to her window. She unclasped the loose locks upon the almost splintering frame and swung out the two panels. There was no netting and she had long ago began greasing the pivots to prevent any creaking disturbances. The girl stepped out of the frame and onto damp, untrimmed, grass. She was already accomadated to seeing in the dark, having spent so long just sitting in silence in her room to give the illusion she was fast asleep.
The night air was crisp, moon above waning as tonight was a night just after the full moon. There were scarcely any stars to be seen, most all obscured by light pollution from the city. Even the Big Dipper was difficult to see, barely a set of pinpoints in the midnight skies. But, Issabelle already knew where she was to be going.
She trekked through the grass, recalling by the feeling of stones and changing ground beneath her feet where she was going. Tonight was a good night to head down to one of her more preferable spots. Near her less than favorable house was a small brook. Following along it, it would soon dry up and pool into a pond. A little beyond that was a small backwoods. She called them such for the fact that they were often someone else's backyard, just so rarely used that it was perfectly safe for her to 'intrude' for hours at a time, sometimes making a small fire for light and warmth that a simple flashlight could not provide.
After a little while of walking, she had entered the backwoods and was making her way uphill when the sound of police sirens reached her ears. Fearing she would be spotted, the girl leapt behind a tree and took cover with the shrubbery near it. Surely enough, from down the dirt road she had been near came the red and blue lights of a police cruiser, siren blasting into the night like some haunted feral cat. Issabelle didn't care for the men who drove those cars nor those who wore the esteemed badges. They came so often into her neighborhood and missed so many of the issues within she no longer saw them as a good form of protection as she had as a child. It was rather childish of her, but she stuck her tongue out at the lights after they'd passed. Even with the knowledge that they had likely been going to quickly to spot her and that she was hiding, she still felt a little bit better in a way that could only come of being immature.
Certain that there were no other cruisers coming along, she continued up the hill.
It must have been around three in the morning by the time she found her hiding spot.
It was a sort of grove mixed with a meadow. A couple of the trees here were fruit bearers, one a crabapple tree and the other a red apple. The rest were conifers like pines or redwoods, towering high with their needled branches swaying like some mutated umbrella in the wind. The occasional squirrel could be heard jumping from branch to branch, one or two taking it upon themselves to toss a pinecone or a rock down at the intruder. Issabelle didn't mind nor care. Currently, she was investing more of her focus into setting up a small spot she oft used as a fire pit.
Twigs were thrown in, some dried moss as tinder, and rocks were used to contain it in a circle. The lighter appeared and, in moments, a fire was started. Green eyes watched the flames with a sort of apathy. There should be some form of creature comfort here somewhere within the man-made warmth. But, alas, it was unnoticed by the girl. If she had come out here for any reason other than her parents' arguments, she would have enjoyed this somewhat. That wasn't how it went, however.
The backpack was unzipped and her supplies were spread for use. The soft blanket was atop the other, waterproof, with her snacks set upon it in a corner, within easy reach. She sat cross legged upon the blankets, one side of the cloths folded in to both avoid the fire and to give some cover for her feet if she so needed it. In her hands was Clan of the Cave Bear, a novel she had picked up some time ago but had never quite gotten around to reading. She hadn't been interested in it at the time. The focus was, from what she could tell, a young girl who had lost her family and tribe during a natural incident and her journey, meeting other clans and growing up. It sounded as if it'd been done time and again, but Issabelle was bored and she needed something to distract herself.
Cold air would flood her lungs and make her shiver. It was enough for each exhaled breath to condense in the air, making a white mist that hardly managed to shine in the light of both her aged flashlight and fire. It was around four in the morning now and Issabelle was thankful she didn't have school tomorrow. Knowing how her parents were, it wouldn't be truly stable in the household again for another hour. It would be inaccurate to say she wasn't drowsy. She was highly tempted to merely bundle up out here and sleep, comfortable as she was in this setting compared to the one at home, but thoughts of being found out by her father kept her from falling to the temptation. Her attention upon the words on the pages in front of her was slipping, causing her to become more and more aware of the noises around. Generally, she would ignore such things, unnerving as they were.
Tonight, she could hear the rustling of what she could only assume to be a raccoon or something akin to that moving about, likely foraging for something to eat. The chirps of crickets and the low voiced, squelching, croaks of frogs made it hard to stay within the world her book was trying to depict. Images of prehistoric earth were muddled with visions of clouds sweeping over the night sky and hooting owls. The smell of fresh dirt and plants was obfuscated with the scent of dew and coming rain. No, no, she couldn't keep this up for much longer. She needed to start heading back. Her night on her own was coming to an end as she packed her things up, feeling let down as she had expected enjoying the read oh so much more than this.
It had been when she was about to kick out the fire that she had been taken off guard by a voice and a shadow.
"Hello there."
Issabelle spun about on her heels to face the form that had appeared in her peripheral vision. It couldn't be a full grown man, no. The voice was too young for that. But, it was too old to be merely a child running about in the ungodly hours of the morning. The girl now wished she had brought a method of self defense with her on this excursion.
She remained silent, trying to spot the face of the stranger while still backing ever so slightly away with her belongings at hand. She had packed her flashlight, thinking it not needed since she knew the path. It would have come in handy now. The figure just watched and she had the sense that they were smiling at her, almost mockingly. Issabelle was quickly thinking of what to do. Question? Run? Don't run? Wait until something happens? All of those ideas sounded-
"All of those ideas sound kind of stupid, you know."
"Wh...-What?" Now she was surprised. What had she done to tip him off? Surely she hadn't given away her thoughts through body language.
The figure gave a chuckle, though no smile could be seen, and they continued. "If you questioned me, I wouldn't really have good answers. If you ran, I would run after. If you don't run, then I guess you're just stuck with me. If you wait, then nothing will happen. That make sense?"
Issabelle bit her lip, hands wringing out one of the straps on her backpack. The fire continued to crackle and pop but the previously irritating sound of crickets had ceased, making the chilled night seem all the more empty in the pitch black emptiness. "Who are you?" The words left speedily and, to her great annoyance, nervously.
Another chuckle and the shadow shifted its placement to lean against a tree, as if he had all night to talk. "I don't really know, to be honest. I could be a guy who lives here. Or one of the... Owl things. I could even be you, I think." He took a step forward and the girl let out a frightened yelp that was quickly silenced by a hiss of distaste. "What? Am I frightening you? Don't worry. I don't bite. Not on purpose, anyway."
It was now she realized that the shadow wasn't actually speaking. The whole time she hadn't seen a single movement that suggested actual speech, and to her horror the words in retrospect seemed echoed. Although an origin could be ascertained, she could not tell if they had actually gone through the air to her ears or simply spouted into her own mind. No, no. She must be tired. Such a thing could not possibly happen. That would break many of the laws she had learned as a child. You can't talk into people's heads, that only ever happens in fairy tales. In books and stories and make-believe games.
"Hey, why are you scared? I haven't done anything yet." Yet. That word only made Issabelle wish to run away more. Whoever this freak was, they could take their stupid mind game and shove it.
"That's not very nice."
"Shut up. Who the hell are you?" She now had an irritated bite to her words. Like a cornered dog faced with a man with a net, she didn't know whether to snap, snarl, or slip away. "And get the hell out of the dark." For a moment, she wished she had someone here with her. If only she weren't an only child, perhaps some big brother figure would have frightened off someone like this. No. If she had someone like that with her, she wouldn't be running off like this in the first place. It was idiotic, now apparent by her predicament. Still. She kept wishing while all the while trying to keep calm.
"Fine." The voice seemed different. Perhaps her focus was kicking in with the adrenaline. "If that's what you really want." Once again, the stranger strode forward, only this time close to the fire. The light of it illuminated what had once appeared to be only a shadow, revealing sneakered feet and a figure she had been sure was shaped ever so differently before. To her shock, the mysterious he was a teenager, very likely no older than her. His hair was a light brown color and messy, something she had been expecting in the back of her mind. His clothes were all baggy, from the white colored pants to his blue tinted hoodie. He could surely fit in with the masses at her school. But, something did stick out.
A yelp rang out and Issabelle made to flee, only to be driven into rough bark seconds after. His eyes. They weren't normal. No, no human has eyes colored like that. And his teeth. Sharp, like a shark's. No, this couldn't be real. None of this could be real. It had to be a hallucination. She had to have fallen, been struck over the head, be unconscious right now. But it felt real, it felt all too real as she could physically feel arms restraining her and the weight of her bag pulling uncomfortably upon her arm and the scratches and bruises to come of having impacted a tree so hard. She hissed and struggled and tried to break out, only to be stopped by a rough voice growling into her head.
"I told you I wasn't going to bite. Calm down."
"C-calm down?! LET ME GO. LET ME-" A hand clasped over her mouth, leaving her only to let out a frightened whimper. She was going to die, wasn't she? This freak was going to use her and break her and just drop her, right? Her parents wouldn't know of what happened. It would be weeks before she would be found. She never told anyone of her hiding spots. Of how she would go out like this on her own to try and get away. She could only hope she wouldn't be tortured or mutilated or something twisted like that. What would he do? What was he going to-
"Shut up. I'm not doing anything to you." Like hell he wasn't. He had her restrained, against a tree, with a hand over her mouth and his weight crushing her so much she could scarcely breathe. Just as that thought passed through her mind, the pressure upon her lessened and she could breathe easier. Still, she was terrified. Tears welled to her eyes and she was ashamed of the sheer amount of fear she had. The teenager who had her pinned growled again, but seemed to be trying to speak more calmly. "C'mon, c'mon. Stop thinking like that. I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to do any of those other things you're thinking of either. Just listen, okay?" Issabelle could feel herself going limp, knees about to give out. Then what was he going to do? Oh, she just wanted to go home now. Just curl up and slumber and wish this away like some bad nightmare.
"You passing out will help nothing at all," He snarled it, "Now stop panicking. Keep calm and I'll let you talk." His grip loosened more and she regained the use of her arms. She was too frightened to try and shove him away, however. "Alright, that's a start. Now. I'm not from here. And, guess what? Nobody else can see me. I don't know what a 'ghost' is, but sure, I'll go with that. I don't know what a name is. I don't know where I am. I don't know what dinky universe this is. I wasn't able to even have a form until I made contact with you. That make sense?" The girl shook her head and he frowned. "Your stupid language is annoying. I can't accurately describe just how much I do not know versus what I remember to you, so I guess we'll have to do this more directly." Sharp teeth. Ringed, spiral, eyes. The words he was saying. It all made her feel ill to the point where she honestly believed she was going to be sick.
The teen released Issabelle completely, backing up a couple steps. Now was her chance. Call for help somehow, get this loony away. Just as she was about to scream, a cacophony of indescribable emotion slammed into her skull. Utter blackness, no sense of direction, no light. What is warmth? Cold is merely the absence of heat, but what is it when heat does not exist? She could not recall what her name was. Wait. What is gender? Such a thing requires there to be a physical manifestation of existence. To have existence, you need an idea as to what that is. Matter? Time? Space? How does that correlate to such an idea? Beginnings are the cessation of one existence. An ending is the climax of another. A loop means a continuous spiral but such circuitry requires a start. A start means that there is an intersecting point where there had been nothing then something. The first dimension requires there to be a linear plane with no left or right values. Second dimension requires a flat plane with no sense of height or depth. Third dimension values require there to be height, width, and depth. A fourth dimension requires there to be something in existence that we are missing. How does one imagine something that does not exist? All imagined values are things that correlate to what exists within this dimension. What is missing? Sapience and Sentience are two different things. Sapience is experience and wisdom. Sentience is the ability to formulate and put into value complex thoughts. How does one describe a thought? Intangible objects are, within the third dimension, non existent. Protons are tangible. Electrons are tangible. Photons are tangible. Neural passageways within the brain send messages via ATP fueled energy sparks. The thoughts within those waves are intangible. To attempt to describe color, one needs to have experienced it. Experience leads to thought which leads to the ability to convey messages.
The sensation of what was being conveyed to Issabelle required that she understood the fourth dimension. Something that does not exist within her area of experience and thought. To make matters simple, she ceased understanding and merely felt. She no longer understood what the hell she was standing on, breathing, nor what her eyes were seeing. She didn't understand why her body was sore, nor what soreness was. All that was in existence at that moment was just experience without thought. The minute her reality returned, she felt as if she were going to puke.
"Wh... What was that? What the f**k did you do to me?" Her mind buzzed with thoughts that had little meaning now. Drugs were simply chemicals, unable to induce what she had just experienced. Attempts to sort out what had just swept into her mind and obliterated her thinking patterns did nothing, as recalling it required understanding, of which she had none towards the topic. Issabelle noted she was on the ground now, dirt grating her scratches and mixing with drying blood. She also noted that the teen who had had her pinned before was now on the ground as well, groaning and hissing in pain. Vaguely, she thought that things had not gone well at all for either of them. A sort of muted joy bubbled through her brain, almost like a 'take that' that was too stunned to come to fruition due to sheer what the frickery.
After a few dry heaves, the girl finally managed to get onto her knees. Her watch said that not even eight minutes had passed since she last checked. She glared at the stranger, who still clutched at his head and whined into the night air. She was sorely tempted to just roll him over a bit more, into the fire, but such a thought made her feel even more ill. Best to not tempt fate any further. Shakily and through use of a tree for support, Issabelle stood up and grabbed her things. Her mind was still dull, so her walking right up to the stranger was far less frightening than it should have been. "I a-asked you a question, jerkwad." She kicked him, lightly due to both how tired she felt and how she was still getting over shock.
He gasped and twitched, taking a few heavy breaths before even opening his eyes. They were spirals. Spirals of blue and red. No eyes should be like that. No teeth should be like that. His voice came up gravelly and shaken, "I-I should ask you the s-same thing. Th-that..-grhn... H-hurt." He said the last word as if it were something he had never experienced before. A foreign thought and feeling to his very existence.
A twinge of pity bubbled at the back of the girl's mind, only to be outmatched by the spite she now held towards this stranger. She felt like she had just had her entire being violated. Partially physically, due to her having been restrained, but mainly psychologically. As if he'd just stolen and copied every bit of her brain, stuffed it with alien and painful things, and shoved it back in, worn and used. "You d-deserved if. Freak." She had to remember the way home. Get far away. Forget this ever happened and that she had ever experienced whatever had just been placed into her brain.
The teen grabbed the girl's ankle, frowning and still panting. "D-don't leave me here. I j-just... Sorry. Whatever that means, I-I am that. S-sorry. Okay?" He coughed, panted a bit more, and struggled into a sitting position. Issabelle tried to keep thinking of that spite, hold onto that thought, but that sensation of violation crept in once more, this time piping in emotions of fear of abandonment. It was revolting. And he kept doing it. Somehow, he was doing this, just piping straight into her brain whatever emotions he had going on. Pain. Fear. Hunger. Confusion. Attachment.
That last thing was repeated over and over again.
Attachment, attachment, bound and bonded and some other things. It was creepy, unsettling, and made her skin crawl. She wished she could ignore it, just walk away. He was... a thing. Something. Anything other than human, certainly. "Y-you're sorry? Sorry? How could you possibly be sorry for what you did? Just... Whatever you're doing, whatever the feck you are doing, stop it." She yanked her foot so as to walk away, but he held firm. "Let go."
"N-no."
"Let me go, dammit."
"No."
"Screw you. Go die in a hole you thing." Issabelle tried to pull away again, only this time to be yanked down to the ground. She was pinned again and too stunned to scream.
He, or it, or whatever he was had her back pressed against the ground. One leg pinned both of hers and his arms held her by her forearms, crushing them into the earthy, pine riddled, floor. Now she was scared. He was growling and she was unsure of what to relate it to. Too odd for a dog, too light for a car. It was threatening and shook her and made her think 'animal'. He ceased the snarls and whispered, "You are going to die without me."
She believed he was insane once more. "What?"
He hissed and looked up to the sky, as if looking for answers on how to force her to grasp the concept. "You. Are. Going. To. Die. Without. Me."
Issabelle squirmed, feeling her hands going numb and the sting from the dirt and needles in her cuts. She was going to question him or kick him but he beat her to the punch by forcing more of those sensations into her head, making her whimper and cease thinking again. As quickly as the experiences came, they stopped, leaving her mouth feeling bitter and her mind buzzing. Fear. Hunted. Accident. There weren't really words to describe it at all. It was as if she had done something bad just by existing while, at the same time, the 'hunters', whoever they may be, were the bad ones for living. Alien, foreign, thoughts kept creeping in, in smaller and smaller doses. Whatever he was doing, it seemed to be an attempt to explain something that he didn't even understand. Just experience. "Stop... Stop. Stop, oh god, please." It felt as if her head were going to explode if this continued. Tears came and she was shaking. It was an animalistic fear. That's all she got from whatever the hell he was trying to say. A primal, animalistic, fear where there was no such thing as good or bad, just death and survival.
"Sorry. Do you understand? I am going to die if you just walk off. You die without me. Get it? Do you get it now?" He shook her, no longer pinning her legs but still keeping her arms clutched.
Issabelle shook her head, trying to hold back sobs. She didn't understand sh!t anymore. She just wanted to go home, to her bed. To get these cuts cleaned and stop being sore and get the hell away. The teen seemed as if he were about to say something more when his eyes darted to the sky above. He stared, as if seeing something in the blackness, and then hastily got the girl up off of the ground. She was still dizzy and nearly slumped back down before he had her on his back. The girl didn't even have it in her to protest anymore, dazed and hurt and confused. The alien thing took notice. "What is a home?"
She sniffled and cringed as she could almost feel him trying to probe her mind again. He stopped, however, and waited for a response. Unsteadily, Issabelle replied, "It's where I live. Where my things are, where I'm safe." This only confused him, so the girl tried to elaborate but couldn't find the words. Frustrated with the inability to communicate effectively, he just ripped something from her thoughts, leaving her numb once more and unable to form coherent thoughts as he strode along with both her and her things.
Upon being in her bed, Issabelle couldn't remember what had happened or what she did. All she knew was that she had lost all sense of feeling to where she just shut down upon being beneath her covers. She couldn't recall how her cuts had gotten cleaned, only that they had been and were sore and red by the time she awoke. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of what exactly had been 'said' to her. She knew she was upset, or should be, and that, somehow, 'he' had managed to rip out something from her brain. It was a numb sort of coldness that she awoke to. Dull and hazy and without true consciousness. She hadn't even the emotional capacity to react properly when 'he' showed up again.




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