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Thread: POEMS--Made

  1. #1
    d-Technolife<3 .:{S u t e k i~M i d o r i}:.'s Avatar
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    POEMS--Made

    Has anyone got any poems you made up? If it's ok, could you post it up? Ill post mine:

    WISH YOU WERE HERE:
    Wishing you were here,
    not showing any tears,
    Looking at the sky, wondering if youre nereby,
    im closing my eyes,
    and thinking things through,
    wondering if my times,
    should've been with you.

    PLS RATE OUT OF 10~ ^-^
       

  2. #2
    I'm not normal, thanks for noticing fantasygurl1227's Avatar
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    Default Re: POEMS--Made

    Hey thats a really good poem!!! 8/10
    u know whats weird though all of these poems seem to be in kairi's position... or make me think of her when i read the poem...

  3. #3
    Unversed rikubaka67's Avatar
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    Default Re: POEMS--Made

    http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=37011

    ^link to the thread I made about my poem.

  4. #4
    A Picasso Reality chaywa's Avatar
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    Default Re: POEMS--Made

    Quote Originally Posted by chaywa's poem
    A Message from God to Humanity – Losing My Religion

    Would you listen even when I told you?
    What on earth was I to say?
    Should I make you stop what you’re doing?
    Or make myself go away?

    I can’t take the pressure anymore,
    All life is crumbling away
    Your actions are causing annihilation
    And you’re doing it everyday

    I thought you would be perfect
    A happy mixture of difference
    But my creation is ruined
    I have now lost my omnibenevolence

    You all seem to defy me
    I have done nothing to you
    I even gave you the power to live
    I am the creator and that is the truth

    It’s not my duty to be there
    For all of you to need me
    Although your lack of motivation
    Suggests that I am the only one who believes

    So put down your guns,
    Put down your oil and end this silly feud,
    I can’t continue to control,
    So I’m handing control over to you

    Your life is now in your hands
    What else is there to say?
    I can’t stop what you are doing
    So quite simply, I’m going away.
    Meh, not my best...

  5. #5
    Dream Eater
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    Default Re: POEMS--Made

    Kagura4Kyo&4Haru, the last two lines caught me. How I felt about other lines:

    WISH YOU WERE HERE:
    Wishing you were here,
    not showing any tears,
    First line, fine. Second line, nyeh, okay.

    Looking at the sky,
    wondering if you're nereby,
    First line, okay. Second, more nyeh, doesn't quite fit as well (lenght wise).

    im closing my eyes,
    and thinking things through,
    wondering if my times,
    should've been with you.
    Good.

    6.8/10 ~ It's okay. Nothing disastrous, but nothing hugely impressive either.


    chaywa, I like the view point. Poem itself isn't to bad, I just can't go through all of it at the mo... *procastinates* :]

 

 

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