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  1. #1
    whatever Muke's Avatar
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    Default KHBBS: Rewritten

    This is a rewrite of KHBBS. I'll keep most of the same plot points and want to keep the endings mostly the same. I guess that's really all there is to say. I hope you enjoy!

    I'll try to always list what I have changed at the end of a chapter, so maybe look forward to that.

    Last edited by Muke; January 1, 2018 at 07:10 PM.
       

  2. #2
    whatever Muke's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    Chapter 1: Ventus


    Terra and Aqua, now 12 and 11 years old respectively, were looking down fro the balcony in the castle of the land of Departure. They saw an old man, dressed in black, entering the castle together with a dull-eyed young boy.
    “Who do you think that man is?” Aqua asked Terra as she tightly grabbed his shoulder, clearly afraid of him.
    “I wanna know about the boy a lot more! Do you think he wants to play with us?” said Terra as he turned to Aqua. “Don’t worry, I’ll always protect you, Aqua!” he took her hand and released it from his shoulder.
    As the old man and their Master, Master Eraqus, went to the throne room, Terra immediately ran down the stairs, over to Ventus. Aqua followed him closely.
    “Hello!” Terra grinned.
    “What’s your name?” Aqua asked while bending down to his eye level.
    “V…en…tus.” the little boy said slowly.
    “I’m Terra and this right here is Aqua!” he smiled.
    “Te…rra… Aq…ua.” Ventus repeated slowly.
    “Do you wanna play with us?” Terra asked. He got no answer, so he just grabbed his arm and went outside with him, Aqua telling him to leave the boy alone.
    “Let’s play!”
    He got no reaction. Ventus just stared at the ground without saying a word or even acknowledging them.
    “… Do you wanna play with us? Oh, by the way, who was that man with you? Where are you from? Are you here to train with us?” Terra then bombarded him with questions, hoping to start a conversation. Ventus started panting slowly and spinning his head around.
    “Are you good with a Keyblade?”
    It was too much for Ventus. He started to loudly wail in pain, startling Terra and Aqua. He fell over and clutched his head while screaming.
    “W-What’s wrong? Do you have a headache?!” Aqua worried about Ventus, rushing to his side. “Look at what you did!” she yelled at Terra.
    Master Eraqus and the other old man approached them, Eraqus yelling at them, asking what they had done.
    Aqua looked at Terra quickly, and decided to take the blame.“Master, I was just—“
    “I just asked some stuff!”
    The old man rushed to Ventus and gathered him in his arms, talking. “Ventus can’t tell you anything.” He carried the boy and left the Land of Departure through a dark portal.


    “Master, Master, who was that man?!” Aqua asked plucked on his clothes.
    “His name is Master Xehanort. That’s already enough for you to know.”
    “But what’s with the boy? Why did he react like that?” Terra crossed his arms, waiting for an explanation.
    “You guys need to learn how to behave around Ventus. He can’t answer any questions because he can’t remember anything.“
    Aqua and Terra gasped sadly.
    “Ventus will soon train with you two, so please try to be more… gentle around him.”
    Terra rolled his eyes, Aqua nodded.
    “Let’s continue training.” Eraqus said, turning around, but was stopped by Aqua who grabbed his arm.
    “Master, we JUST trained! Can we have some ice cream?” she grinned
    Eraqus smiled, nodding.



    What I changed here are their ages and some dialogue. I felt like they were too old to behave the way they did, so that's why everyone is significantly younger here. This plays 7 years before BBS' story instead of 4 years. I didn't change a lot here, as you may notice, but let's start [I]somewhere[/I].
    Terra and Aqua didn't have a whole lot of interaction in BBS' flashbacks, so I try and make up for it.
    More in the next chapter.

  3. #3
    Organization Member Rodin's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    So is ven 8 years old now?

    would terra be handled any differently?

  4. #4
    whatever Muke's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodin View Post
    So is ven 8 years old now?

    would terra be handled any differently?
    Right now, he's 8 years old, yeah. Some chapters will focus on TAV's past and their interactions before I start with the main plot and the Mark of Mastery.

    Yeah xD Like most of the characters

  5. #5
    whatever Muke's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    Chapter 2: The darkness

    3 years went by since Ventus last visited. Terra and Aqua continued sparring and training each day.
    “Take that!” Aqua yelled as she rushed at Terra and swung. The first clash of Keyblades made Terra wince and fall back as Aqua began chaining one blow after the other. Terra parried lightly, trying not to take the full impact of her blows down his blade. He fell back with each blow, letting Aqua push him.

    Terra dodged to the side and clenched his fists tightly, a brief tint of dark energy surrounding them before it faded. Aqua paused, staring at his hands for a moment uneasily before resuming the fight, sending a fire spell at him. Terra released a blizzard spell at it, making it explode before it could touch him. Terra burst through the explosion and rushed at her, his Keyblade singing through the air. Aqua panicked and fell back, staggering as she blocked.

    WHAM!

    Terra’s Keyblade smashed into her side and sent her screaming through the air. She landed in a heap, dropping her Keyblade, curling up into a ball.

    "Aqua!" cried out Terra.
    He rushed over to her and knelt down. "Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn’t…" he helped her get up.
    “It’s fine.” Aqua said as she got up on her knees.
    “Terra… what was that darkness that surrounded you again? It keeps happening and I’m starting to worry.”
    Terra gasped and looked at his hands.
    “There was darkness?!” he cried out, looking around if Master Eraqus was there.
    “Yes.. and you know what the master tells us each day. Darkness isn’t good.”
    “I don’t know why it keeps happening.. it just does. And I never really notice it. Are you going to tell the master?” he looked at her.
    “Of course not, how could you say that? Why would I do that?”
    Both went quiet and looked at each other.
    “I don’t know.” Terra said silently as he looked at the ground. He was ashamed of himself. He didn’t feel like he was good enough to be a Keyblade Master anymore. Aqua went towards him and held his hands.
    “Do you remember what you promised me when I got here? You said you’d always be there for me. Terra, I’m always here for you. Nothing can ever separate us, and you know that just as well as I do.”

    When they both went back to report, Eraqus held his daily speech again. Hearing the same thing over and over and over again was surely making Terra go nuts, but Aqua was always very interested in what the Master told them. She’d always ask new questions, she’d have new ideas.. but Terra was simply annoyed.
    “And that, my children, is why light-”
    “Master… can we do something else today? You always tell us this thing and the story behind the light and everything.”
    “I keep telling you each day so you both memorize it. After I am done, you’re free to do whatever you want, Terra, but you must listen to what I’m telling you. I don’t want any of you to accidentally give in to the darkness or so.”
    Terra sighed, looking down. Maybe the master was right? He never quite understood why the darkness was frowned upon by everybody.
    “Master, why do you despise darkness?”
    Eraqus gasped and looked at Terra with concern immediately.
    “Why.. Terra, why do you ask?”
    “Master, can I answer the question?” Aqua smiled and stood up. Having read many books about darkness and light, she was sure she knows what she’s talking about.
    “Sure.”
    “Darkness isn’t inherently bad, Terra. See, the darkness is a part of your heart. As long as you can control your own heart or have some sort of resolve to never lose control of your heart, you'll be fine! Darkness only is a danger when you let it control you.
    In one of the books I read, it was written that darkness is like fire. It was something like…

    “Kids playing with matches don't know what they're doing and burn themselves.
    Rational users who do constructive things with it
    Rational users who use it for immoral and potentially destructive ends
    Users who think they know what they're doing, and do, but only to a point.
    What defines the role of an elemental force is the choices of the people who use it.”

    Same thing with the darkness. If you don’t know how to use it, you will burn yourself. But if you can keep it in check, there’s nothing to worry about!” she smiled and looked at her Master, who had a look of disgust on his face.
    “Aqua… you?!”
    She looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
    “Darkness lurks in every heart. Darkness is our foe. You must destroy it. Push the darkness down, give it no quarter in your heart.”
    Aqua played with her fingers. What was he talking about?
    “Aqua. Until you realize what you have done, I want you to stay in your room. And I never want to hear anybody talking about… darkness again. That is all.”

    “I should’ve just shut my mouth.” Aqua talked to herself as she played with a plush in her room. It was a plush that Terra gave her on her birthday. She was sure the Master was disappointed in her. “But.. I just told them what I read in the books. Was all of that wrong? Why.. I don’t understand. Maybe darkness IS bad.”
    She sighed and let herself fall on her bed. She didn’t like the thought of having disappointed Master Eraqus, but she was sure she’d not become a master if she was talking about darkness the same way again.

    In his own room, Eraqus looked at a letter he received 2 years ago but never responded to. He then took a quill and started writing a letter to Xehanort.

    "Xehanort. I didn’t believe what you wrote in your letter first. My own pupil, Terra… using the power of darkness. My son. It was impossible. However, today I realized it must be true. I saw him and my other pupil, Aqua, sparring outside, and I could sense darkness emitting from him. I agree with you, I, too, now don’t want to name my son a Keyblade master without taking precautions. I wanted them to train for what comes after the ceremony, however, it seems like they will have to take the Mark of Mastery - as you suggested.

    We can discuss details once you come visit us again.
    And yes, Yen Sid has told me about the Unversed. They’re certainly a matter that needs to be discussed.
    Thank you for opening my eyes, old friend. Take care. I eagerly await our reunion. By the way, I have already prepared Ventus’ room, as we discussed when you last visited."

  6. #6
    Organization Member Rodin's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    Interesting. Nice work on the next chapter.

  7. #7
    Unversed AtDuskIThinkofU's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    This is really cool! I like how you're portraying everything, and how you lowered the ages of the characters. I can't wait to read more!

  8. #8
    Rise KingdomKey's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    I actually like the spin you did on this first chapter, Muke. It feels more fitting for Terra and Aqua to be younger compared to what age they were in the actual game. Personally, I was never fond of that scene in particular because, it felt a bit obvious that something was wrong with Ven. Something that Terra and Aqua should've picked up on slightly instead of pushing for answers off the bat. As for chapter two, damn. Master Eraqus really has a really scary outlook on darkness. I actually thought Aqua's comparison to fire was really well thought out. I think Eraqus takes things too far in my opinion. (What happened to the guy who got them ice cream in chapter one?! Lol. xD) Anyways, I'm curious to see how this someday plays out. Overall it was a fun chapter to read. :D

  9. #9
    Organization Member Megavoltage's Avatar
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    Default Re: KHBBS: Rewritten

    Really enjoyed the first two chapters. Are they going to be visiting the same worlds in the same order? Will you include Mirage Arena and the optional super bosses into the story?

 

 

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