The Author's Corner- Writers/readers come to chat it up!

[Max/souleater]

hey, ive started a new fic (links in my sig), and ive been trying to gather some more readers. its got 3 chapters up, and its the story of if riku got the keyblade, and not sora(like they said wouldve happened if riku didnt give in to the darkness).
its a first person (from rikus p.o.v.), and ive tried to include action, romance, and twists. i like to hear what the readers liked and disliked, and where my writing needs to improve. so please, if anybody would, any more readers would be highly appreciated^^

[Danica Syer]

Originally Posted by Mordecai

Candy Fair - I would say either an online thesaurus or reading books. Reading is a little harder, but thesauruses only work every 1 out of 10 times to your liking in that kind of situation. Talented writers know how to word things as to make sure they don't have to keep repeating the word. I'll try to come up with an example of this.

Today while I was thinking, I had a thought - what if everyone thought like me?

Revision,

Today I had a thought - what if everyone looked at things the way I do?

That's a simple revision, and it uses both the thesaurus idea and the rearranging idea. You can get more descriptive with it, of course.

Today while taking a walk I had a thought - what if everyone looked at things the way I do?

A more complex example, hopefully -

Billy sat down at the table and Tracy stirred. She didn't like him this close, couldn't take it. The night at the park made her realize that she couldn't trust him enough to let him be this close. If he spoke to her now, the only thing she could do was reply. Her friends were watching and they would know something was wrong.

A thought came to her and she grabbed her binder to leave. She walked off in the direction of the girls restroom and it was in the restroom she would stay until lunch was over. Her friends would ask her why she was in the restroom for so long, and that would be awkward, but it was worth it in the long run. She could trade an awkward moment for an embarrassing bathroom visit any day.


Okay. I'll revise. Mostly the beginning is fine and isn't that repetitive, but I'll fix it up a little.

Billy sat down at the table and Tracy stirred. She didn't like him this close, couldn't take it. The night at the park made her realize that she couldn't trust him enough to let him be this close. If he spoke to her now, the only thing she could do was reply. Her friends were watching and they would know she was panicking.

A thought came to her and she grabbed her binder to leave. She walked off in the direction of the girls restroom and it was in the there she would stay until lunch was over. Her friends would ask questions but in the end it was worth it. She could trade an awkward moment with Billy for an embarrassing one with her friends any day.

A little something like that. This doesn't really cure your problem, but you should know that everyone has that problem. I've had it for years and still have it. You just have to push yourself to another level of thinking, to get around certain obstacles like this one. Try rearranging your sentences so you can continue without reusing the word. If you really must, don't be afraid to reuse a word. It's okay, and most of the time, if it's done only once, people don't notice. Say what needs to be said, with reason. You're your own worst critic.

Hope I helped.

[EDIT]

It's a whole lot easier when you just continue writing if you're stuck. Don't get hung up on things like this while you're letting your imagination flow. Most of the time it will change my mood and I will develop a writer's block that not only halts my ability to write well, but the ability to think or use my imagination. The story wont go anywhere.

So when you start thinking "hey, I'm using that word a lot. Damn!" just keep writing. Go back, read over it ( which is what you should do for everything you write, you'll find mistakes that you missed ) and then you can see how everything looks. Making changes is a little easier. It's like critiquing. For some reason I feel like I explained this more in depth than I should have. But I hope I helped.

[RE-EDIT]

As a perfect example look at what I just said.

"It might be easier for you if the character recently lost their arms when your story begins or if they lose them sometime in your story. This way you could find out what troubles the character has by trying to visualize what they would do.... say you wanted them to go into an elevator. Okay. How would they push the buttons? With their head? They would probably hit other buttons. Well, you'll think of those things as you go."

Revision - It might be easier for you if the character had recently lost or loses their arms in your story. This way you'll see the troubles as they develop and work with them to solve their problems. An elevator would be tricky, because of the buttons. How would he push them? If he used his head he might hit more than one. You'll think of these things as you go.

Wow, thanks for all that good advice. Mind if I copy to a Word Document and paste it and look at it if I don't know what else to do. Don't worry, I'm just keeping advice from other people but thanks. Hmm...now that I look at it that way, seems much simplier. Thanks for the advice!

[Derogon]

I'm just asking. I'm trying to write this story and I haven't continued it in a month or so. But like the first few paragraphs were like awesome and I was wondering how do you continue with a good thing when you haven't wrote anything more for a month?

[Nevermore]

Originally Posted by Derogon

I'm just asking. I'm trying to write this story and I haven't continued it in a month or so. But like the first few paragraphs were like awesome and I was wondering how do you continue with a good thing when you haven't wrote anything more for a month?

Either pick up where you left off or start fresh. If you're worried about being rusty, then right a short story or two before jumping back in.

[Guernsey]

Does it matter how many words you know in your writing or how you use them?

[Mordecai]

Originally Posted by Candy Fair

Wow, thanks for all that good advice. Mind if I copy to a Word Document and paste it and look at it if I don't know what else to do. Don't worry, I'm just keeping advice from other people but thanks. Hmm...now that I look at it that way, seems much simplier. Thanks for the advice!

Yeah, no problem.

Of course I don't mind. Anytime.

Originally Posted by Guernsey

Does it matter how many words you know in your writing or how you use them?

I'm not sure, but I think you're asking which is better.

Knowing how to use the words you know well is better than using more words that you aren't totally familiar with. I'd say, you should be totally comfortable with a word and it's meaning before you think about using it in your writing. A lot of people tend to go to thesaurus.com, and I do it as well, but those words aren't always an exact match. Far from it, actually. I only go there so it can give me a refresh of words like the one I want to use, sort of a reminder of the other possible words. But I work within the ones I know.

[LionHeart14]

Originally Posted by Guernsey

Does it matter how many words you know in your writing or how you use them?

Well... If you take a look at Stephanie Meyer's writing (author of Twilight) people constantly make fun of it because either the same words are used constantly, or she uses stupid words in place of commonly used words. So I'd say it matters lol.




Okay, now I have a rather stupid question lol. Well this is more of asking for suggestions, so idk if I should be asking on this thread, but If anyone likes thinking of names... Help lol. So I'm working on a story right now, and I have nooo idea what to name one of my characters. I was originally going to go with Jacob, but I decided that Jacob's too common of a name and it's been used many times in stories and stuff. It is a nice name though lol.
He has a very serious personality and is kinda 'no nonsense-ish'. He's the type of person who just wants to get what he wants accomplished, and doesn't mind if he does it alone or with someone else. So other people don't really affect him. That's all I've got with the personality right now (this story's still in the embryotic stage XD) but he has black hair, a slightly tan complection, and is tall. He also has a twin sister whose name is Julie. So if you can think of any names that go with Julie, that'd be cool
I know coming on a forum board to ask this is kinda stupid, but i don't like telling people i know about the stories I write until I'm done with them lol.

[Guernsey]

How do your differentiate character driven stories from plot driven stories?

[Nevermore]

Originally Posted by Guernsey

How do your differentiate character driven stories from plot driven stories?

Plot-Driven: A story in which the characters' actions are determined largely by a sequence of relatively uncontrollable scenarios that they are forced to overcome. Some examples are stories like Harry Potter and several books in the Fantasy genre.

Character-Driven: A story in which the characters' actions directly (or indirectly) effect the path that the plot takes and the overall outcome of the story. Some examples include Holes and Catcher in the Rye.

Usually, there is a little bit of both in stories. Some of the characters' actions impact how the story takes, yet they may also have to overcome something that they had no control over. The only way to categorize them is to see which side they lean towards the most.

[tdc456]

I just posted the last chapter and epilogue of my story Brittle Bullet.
I would love it if some people could go by and read it. Whether you post something in that thread about what you think of it or you can PM me. Doesn't matter to me.
I've always wanted more readers. I definitely could use some advice considering that I'm planning to write a sequel.

The whole story is only 29 chapters plus the epilogue.

[Endless Warrior Sora]

Man I love all ya'll writers, cuz you guys are pretty great.

I would do a fanfic, but I can really never finish a story...ever.

[Stavvy]

I know I'm not a regular here, and I haven't posted this officially for good reason. I'm rusty. I've already sent this into one of my friends, and he says that I just need to focus on getting everything to flow better. This isn't even the full first chapter, and after it, there's going to be a drastic change, which I look forward to.

Anyway, would anyone mind reading and critiquing this? I'm posting it here because I can't get on during the day, and I may work on it more, but help would be appreciated. I'll give you rep, if you're into that sorta thing, and my thanks, of course.

The clock seemed to click slower than normal, which was a surprise, seeing how slow time usually takes in this place. Damn it, just hurry up. I looked to the others around me, some listened as the woman droned on and on about how we’re supposed to know our places in the world, and that we would amount to nothing if we couldn’t accept that we’re insignificant. How each and every one of us will live only to continue living unless we shaped up. Instead of looking for a way to get ahead of those around us, we’ll only look for the next hand out, the next easy path to another day. Quitting would be pointless, as we would just become another burden for the rest of the community. It was the same crap I had heard before and it wouldn’t change any time soon.

Finally the clock struck four PM, and we were released from the Saturday morning detention. I stretched as the warm sun of an almost summer afternoon enclosed around me. All of the other students said little to nothing to each other, most of us hated each other for this reason or that, some of us were on speaking terms, though. Either way, we all went our separate ways to our separate homes and separate lives. I flipped open my phone and checked for any missed calls I might’ve gotten during my six hour torture.

Nope. Nothing. Didn’t expect anything, after all, my friends all knew about this week’s detention, and were no doubt of blazed somewhere without me. It didn’t matter; right now all I wanted to do was drive home and rest for a few hours. Sitting in a desk for six hours while some teacher tells you how shitty your shit life is compared to the rest of society really takes a toll out of you, whether you expect it or not. Whatever, what did she know? She wasn’t the one living my life, she had her own, where she would go back to her empty house and eat her TV dinners alone. Served her right, after all of the time she spent today hounding all of us.

“Gah, even the stoplights seem slower today.” The light had to have been red for a minute now, even if the traffic didn’t seem especially heavy today. The radio played some repetitive rock song from one of those bands everyone seemed to be into, not exactly my favorite, but right now I didn’t care, I just wanted to get home. The light turned green, and I pulled out onto the street, away from the three story, 10,000 student school district. It’s hard to believe that with so many students, they managed to find out that I had been skipping my fifth hour every day for a midday smoke. Ah, oh well, just have to find another time to do it, now that I’m on watch.

The dark green Neon pulled up the driveway and came to a stop. I checked my phone one more time; it read 4:27. “Not too bad.” I said to myself, as I twirled the keys to both my car and house around my right index. As I opened the door, I quickly peered inside. Mom was asleep on the sofa, good. Dad was still at work, and would be until later. Working two jobs meant that he’d always have an excuse to be an ass, considering mom worked a grand total of zero jobs in her life. Well, not officially. She had her ‘nighttime habits’ that Dad didn’t know of, or frankly didn’t have the energy to really give a damn. I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him of it, if he didn’t, though.

I quietly walked upstairs to my room and locked the door behind me. I didn’t want any disturbances for a few hours, of course, locking the door wouldn’t help much, considering if someone wanted in bad enough, they’d just break the door down. Even if they didn’t, they’d still knock, which would probably wake me. Oh well, trade one thing for the other, I suppose. I tossed my keys on the dresser and fell onto my bed, staring through my dark red hair to the wall. The sun started to bother me, so I turned over and pulled the drapes closer to my bed and my walls grew from a dark blue to a black. It wasn’t hard to fall asleep after that.

Oh yes, and the change is a demonic apocalypse, with some added twists of my own. Have fun.

[Nevermore]

^ I'll look it over for you tomorrow (it's getting late, so I don't really feel like it right now, lol).

[Stavvy]

Thanks for looking over my work the last time, Raven. I've got a little more, if anyone's interested.

“Who are you?” A voice called to me through darkness. I tried to close my eyes for a few seconds and then open them again, hoping that the darkness would turn to a dull grey and I could see silhouettes. No luck. “Who are you?” The voice repeated. It was almost normal, except the lack of emotion in it. The question didn’t exactly seem like a normal question either, as if it weren’t asking for my name, but rather my reason for existing.

I noticed I was standing in some strange circle now, the intricate designs seemed to toy with my mind as I tried to follow them. One line would lead to countless others, and if I tried to follow the same one, I would find myself following another. That, or my eyes would strain and lose focus. The only thing I could make out from the array of curves were the only straight lines in this circle. They seemed to cut through all of the slopes, making, at first, a zigzag across the entire span, and then turned sharply into a star that stretched to touch five points of the outermost circle. I also noticed that only one line led to the center of the design, as if a beginning, or end, of a maze you’d find on the back of a cereal box. All of the lines seemed to pulse a faint purple in time with my heart, which was surprisingly composed.

The voice called to me once more, “Who are you?”

I still wasn’t sure how to answer the voice, so I merely said, “My name is Anthony Divals. I’m a Junior at Norin Sr. High.”

The voice seemed satisfied with this, and moved on to its next question. “Why is it that you’ve come here?” It wasn’t until now that I noticed the apparent gender of the voice, it was a woman’s, or at least a teenaged girl’s.

“I . . . I didn’t come here of my own accord, I have only found myself here.”

Suddenly I saw a figure approach from the darkness; the light from the design should have illuminated its appearance, but did not. The figure stood at least two feet taller than myself, from what I could tell. It walked upon the straight lines of the circle, slowly heading towards me. As it approached, I began to see some if its features. It had long dark red hair trailing down its shoulder and stopping at the middle of its back. It was muscular to a sense, but nothing freakish. Its eyes glowed a golden yellow with slight opacity. The figure’s frame blurred for a second and it now stood before me, peering down at me. Its face reflected a slight resemblance of mine, despite the strange eyes and larger figure.

“If what you say is true, you have no reason to be here.” The voice said, it was not the figure’s, either. “If you are to survive what is coming, you will have gained the right to enter this place.” The figure’s hands moved with frightening speed; a curved blade replaced what should have been half of its arm. Without expression, the figure grabbed me by my collar and lifted me up to its face. My eyes were drawn to its and without blinking, I knew what was to come. The figure’s arm pulled back and it said one word.

“Awaken.”

That MAY be enough to call the first chapter.

[Mordecai]

Originally Posted by LionHeart14

Well... If you take a look at Stephanie Meyer's writing (author of Twilight) people constantly make fun of it because either the same words are used constantly, or she uses stupid words in place of commonly used words. So I'd say it matters lol.




Okay, now I have a rather stupid question lol. Well this is more of asking for suggestions, so idk if I should be asking on this thread, but If anyone likes thinking of names... Help lol. So I'm working on a story right now, and I have nooo idea what to name one of my characters. I was originally going to go with Jacob, but I decided that Jacob's too common of a name and it's been used many times in stories and stuff. It is a nice name though lol.
He has a very serious personality and is kinda 'no nonsense-ish'. He's the type of person who just wants to get what he wants accomplished, and doesn't mind if he does it alone or with someone else. So other people don't really affect him. That's all I've got with the personality right now (this story's still in the embryotic stage XD) but he has black hair, a slightly tan complection, and is tall. He also has a twin sister whose name is Julie. So if you can think of any names that go with Julie, that'd be cool
I know coming on a forum board to ask this is kinda stupid, but i don't like telling people i know about the stories I write until I'm done with them lol.

I could give you some. If you like what I'm giving you just PM me and I'll give you some more. I have the same issues with a lot of my characters, because for me the name really matters.

Normal names : Gordon, James, Godfree, Gary, Jake ( even though characters named Jake are really overplayed and normally annoying ). For names that don't really go with the sister's name but go with how his personality is, Alexander would be perfect. Aka Alex. Stephen, Luke, etc. Luke doesn't fit and Stephen kind of sounds like he would have to be very empathetic. Doesn't sound right, but I put it in anyway.

More fantasy-ish type names : Esik, Eben, Leo, Lane, June, Jecht ( yes, FFX ), Guile, Auron ( more FFX ), Less, Reese, Ridley, etc.