if you wanna be in the show, post here and i'll tell you what your role will be. so far here's what i got:
theme song for season 1:
starring scubasteve as stephen w. grapes, aka steveygrapes, the humble but sexy and good at everything male lead. he's busy workin on a new novel during the day while selling black market cats in the evening behind his local 7-eleven. lives in an apartment in the ghetto with his son, jerrimus wax. the identity of the mother is unknown. a season-long arc will occur one year where all of the girls on the show are investigated for being potential moms of jerrimus wax."i'd give anything to be happy. even my son."
cloud as sound effects miami, steveygrapes' legit best friend, put above all the rest. he helps him through a lot of jams. also trying to get noticed by the gaming world for his knowledge on final fantasy, but to no avail. is a 9-time wwe world heavyweight champion. "why is sabrina boss moogle but not me. humans suck ass. buy me some shit steve"
reflection as "the nameless." during the night, she is the top cat distributor in the entire world. she provides stevey with the cats that he distributes across the city. she is also stevey's boss in the black market. during the day, however, she is dr. quistis zimbardo, the most famous psychiatrist in the entire world. stevey, who spends much of the series suffering from depression and feelings of inferiority, is one of her clients. he tells her his darkest secrets, and he considers her to be the only person he can trust. however, he has no idea that "the nameless" and dr. quistis zimbardo are the same person. potential mom of jerrimus wax. "cocaine. cats. drugs. meth. cats. there is no difference. they all lead to bloodshed."
wastewander as paste mcmacbook, one of stevey's closest and best looking friends. stevey has no idea that paste is actually the leader of "the purge," an organization of bulimics who are obsessed with appearance. "beauty is in the eye of everyone who looks at me"
celtis as crystal noct, stevey's landlord and cold war veteran. "the tundras of the cold war... i cannot breathe"
amae as raw power, crystal noct's son, nephew, uncle, and best friend. he's a good man, but spends most of his free time selling dog bowls at petsmart, even though he doesnt work there. "i always oversleep and i hate it! haha"
shinra as daisuke los burn victim, otherwise known in secret as the "coulomb killer," a venemous serial killer using electricity to kill his victims. "don't worry babe, tonight's going to be electrifying."
solar as detective shawnbooty, a six year old chronic masturbator but also the smartest man in the world. every crime in the world has been solved thanks to him. is sent to stevey's hometown to hunt down the "coulomb killer." "god i love forums... i wish there wasnt any crime so i could spend more time on forums."
luap911 as famous actor seth rogen, a regular buyer of steveygrapes' cats. has 27 cats. quits his job as an actor so that he can spend more time with his cats. "wow these cats holy shit these cats"
turn as hiroshima "haymaker" davis, a good friend of steveygrapes. will star in a season-long arc where steveygrapes starts to question his sexuality, and hiroshima is there to help him decide. also helping the "coulomb killer" collect victims, and it turns out steveygrapes is the next potential victim. "i wish i could live in a world where everyone could have their pocky and eat it too"
master spockanort as serpent jones, fanfiction writer. trying to make fanfiction big in the united states. in the process of trying to sue scholastic because they won't publish her kingdom hearts or bleach or velociraptor fanfiction. "i don't get how people can write fanfiction without getting hard haha"
mirby as earthbound, a snes videogame cartridge. stevey's favorite game and best, best friend. carries it with him wherever he goes. but the earthbound cartridge comes to life whenever steve isn't paying attention, a la toy story. "yeh finish ya homework so you can play me bud"
sean as a gameboy color, steveygrapes' old favorite thing in the world, until he found earthbound for the snes. is angry at earthbound and wants it broken. comes to life whenever stevey isn't paying attention, a la toy story. "gay things seem to happen to me XD but i'm not gay XD honest! XD"
square enicks as a rogue sega dreamcast. stevey used to love the dreamcast until he beat all three of its games, so one day, when stevey got turned down by the girl of his dreams in the third grade, he got really pissed, so he took the dreamcast outside and busted the kupo out of it. amazingly enough, it still works, and he has been planning revenge against stevey all along. comes to life when stevey isn't paying attention, a la toy story. "why do you live? because i have something worth living for. we believe voldemort wants to wants to wants to build up his army again again gain gain."
theart as shrekmilf, stevey's neighbor and nazi sympathizer. posts nazi propoganda all over the apartment complex, hoping to recreate the nazi regime from scratch. "BRO *does kickflip*"
shawty as the mysterious, cloaked woman who lives in the abandoned warehouse in the outskirts of town. believed to have orchestrated the dresden firebombings in 1945. potential mother of jerrimus wax, just like master spockanort and any other woman who ends up starring in this show (with the exception of mirby who is a snes cartridge so that can't really work out), because stevey's a bit of a boss doggy. "how bout i break ya kupoin neck? XD just kiddin, here, take some of these burn cds, i need to get rid of them"
bictorious as jimmy brooks. his real name is unknown, but he's a really huge aubrey graham fan, also known as the rap sensation drake and jimmy brooks from degrassi. it became such an obsession that he changed his name to jimmy brooks, and even paralyzed himself on purpose, and claims that he is the real jimmy brooks from degrassi. in the process of trying to play professional basketball even though he is in a wheelchair. "i'm not human... i'm... black"
the professor as sokyoku kokoro gato, a really ripped, human-sized lizard. "i'm modest but good at everything"
megawallflower as mistress shockwave, steveys' old friend from school. they used to be really good friends, but they drifted apart when shockwave stole all of his book ideas and used them as her own. she is now a famous writer, and nobody knows she is a plagiarizer. also surprisingly good with metal vocals. "if i had a gun and i was in a room with tetsuya nomura and niccolo machiavelli, i'd shoot myself twice, dodge the bullets, and then shoot machiavelli, hoping he dodges the bullets too, and then i'll be outta bullets"
stephaknee as stephygrapes, stevey's sister. she hosts her own reality tv show called "the thirsty games," where 24 people are chosen at random to drink soda and they keep drinking soda until the last person who gets a pimple is declared the winner. the remaining 23 are henceforth executed. stevey is jealous because she's successful and he's not. "bottoms up *grins*"
ehres as president heatwave, leader of the town in which this television show takes place. rumor has it she has killed several people to get where she is. her real name is soluus w. grapes, also known as solgrapes, also known as stevey's mother. also adds to stevey's insecurities because his mom is president, his sister is a tv show host, and he is just a lowly writer. practices abstinence twice a week. "kupoing mortals... i've ascended beyond human... i'm... something greater *jumps pool table without touching it*"
sawah as jessie "flamez" turbosama, a world-renowned alchemist who is searching the world for the philosopher's stone, for reasons that she will not tell anyone. also a member of a metal band called "MURDERDADS" where she is lead vocalist. they play live in concert many times in stevey's town. is in love with stevey but whenever she tries to admit her true feelings she has a heart attack. "welcome to this concert hope you guys get real buck"
ruran as taco taco baka baka, the last remaining holocaust survivor. still suffering from ptsd. he has his own channel on youtube where he films himself jumping off of buildings for fun. the pain he feels when hitting the ground is his way of letting out all of the anger the holocaust has instilled in him. 1, 2, 3... jump! wait hold up... 1, 2 ,3... jump! AHHH SHIT nvm psyche haven't jumped yet. *flips off of the roof, lands on his feet 400 feet below, falls to the ground* CALL 911! HELP!!"
limeadelily as horcrux robinson, the chosen one. is actually on a dangerous pilgrimage to save the world from the plague and the mutated monsters that threaten to destroy the country, but she often passes through stevey's hometown because it has a blitzball stadium, which is her favorite sport. it also has steveygrapes, with whom she is in love, but he has no idea. "alright i've finished all my homework. it's 10:00 pm. i can either watch a couple episodes of my favorite anime and risk losing an hour of sleep, or go to bed now and indulge in the extra hour of sleep that i'll probably never get again."
lycanthrope as civilian wilhelm draklos, the crunkest dj in all of the city. beats up people for fun. loses a lot of fights, but what he lacks in punches, he makes up for in attitude. always hits stevey up with the newest mixtape of the latest musician in the city. also a potential mom of jerrimus wax. "outrun my gun *puts cylinder to forehead, pulls trigger* haha its empty *drops gun, fights you*"
taochan as chris96, an administrator from the most famous forum across the internet, Slaughterhouse5Insider, aka S5I. real name is unknown, but can no longer tell the difference between reality and forums. "you know nothing! do you even understand how to undelete posts! shithead."
darkriku-12 as maxwell shane woof, a black boi. "black boi, crunk boi, yuk boi"
the lionheart as mordecai gonzales, half-beast, half-human, 110% fun-loving. one of stevey's favorite people in the world, even though he's often afraid to talk to him because of their differences in the past. "my mom always told me not to talk to beasts," stevey once said to him during a sixth grade science test. they are on ok terms now, but stevey hasn't forgotten that day, and fears that mordecai still holds a grudge against him. "i cant stop gwaffin' at these youtube vids, 'ey if you guys wanna laugh, you should. i'm givin ya permission."
orion as david michael draiman, the last surviving victim of the hiroshima bombings in world war 2. his arms were destroyed in the bombings and are thus replaced with james van der beek wall scrolls. is secretly a blacksmith, but is hiding it from the public because his wife, president heatwave, is racist against blacksmiths. makes swords for stevey in season 4 when he decides to take on the great leviathan that is troubling the city. "ahhh shhhh keep it quiet want a sword?? shhh keep it quiet. seriously quiet the kupo down. seriously, please. oh my god please. ahhahahahahaha."
juggernaut6 as the oxygen in the city. "wait just hear me out for a second"
rixam as lord vicious, a good friend of crystal noct (celtis's character), and leader of the underground field hockey league. the field hockey is all a front though, as she has spent years planning to eliminate all of the electricity in the country, thus creating the world's largest blackout in the history of mankind. "there are two types of people in the world, those who go the speed limit, and those who go past the speed limit"
genocide as kratos "dirt" pavement, the inventor of the world's largest wave pool. joins the cast in season 3 when he is inspired by the work of the "coulomb killer" and starts becoming a serial killer as well in order to impress him. "surf's up, so is the death toll haha"
urbane as niccolo machiavelli, famous historian, philosopher, humanist, and writer from italy in the 1500s. he wrote the prince and is the founder of modern political science. it turns out he is also a time traveler. he faked his death in 1527 so he could travel through earth's timestream. he ended up in present day in stevey's hometown, and prophecizes that "a great tragedy" is about to strike the world. a huge fan of the basketball team, miami heat. "first fight? i think it was uhhh... fifth grade. there was this kid named terrence. 285 pounds, BLACK, and like... 6'6! i was writing a paper on the colonial economy and i said that it didn't really involve britain. but terrence was ike 'the colonial economy has to be symbiotically involved with the british mercantile, capitalism, or isn't mentally effective,' you know? stupid stuff. and i was like 'tear-bear, hey tear-bear, let's take this outside' and, well, it was history from there."
pinwheel as shinryu akihamoros, a rogue mercenary from the north, and fellow pocky salesman. "sluts, video games, and board games. my destiny."
silverslide as herman los gwaf ass, half-human, half-leviathan. terrorizes the city in season 4 for unknown reasons. also a devout follower of 18th president of the united states, ulysses s. grant. "ya'll travelin' to the sun tonight? lemme follow ya, haha *STRIKE* rest in peace... *tear falls from his eyes*"
ophan as vin "roar, zabimaru" diesel, a man named after the famous actor. is a huge fan of the pacifier, a famous vin diesel movie. spends much of his free time traveling across the world in search of his wife, who was lost in a hurricane. he comes across stevey's hometown sometimes during the series, and often knocks a few cold ones back with ol' stevey at the local tavern. "i love trance, i love skrillex, and i love to do sit-ups in my free time. what more do you want ladies?? oh i know, you beggin' me to show you my secret weapon, aka my snes game collection"
finland as money mack orichalcos, the richest person in the world and part-time bartender at the local tavern. earned millions of dollars when she was eleven because she robbed a bank with her minion, a four-headed shark named "milf usurper." is the only person in the world who knows what the 'w' stands for in stephen w. grapes. "check out my new website, www.baby.com/lightbulbs/whoaa, its got beer, its got ladies. what more can ya ask for haha"
enchanted rose as chrome booty, the winner of the twenty-sixth season of american idol. she is the same age as stevey w. grapes, and has had a crush on him ever since the first grade. she pursued a singing career in hopes of impressing him. she returns home from a country tour in season 2, hoping to propose to stevey, but he is in a comatose state (for reasons that i cannot spoil). when he is comatose, she spends so much time over-thinking the situation and gets so paranoid that she eventually decides not to propose to him when he regains consciousness. instead, she joins forces with the "coulomb killer" in season 3 in order to take her anger out on the city. "my inspirations include george w. bush, uncle george w. bush, and my dad, george w. bush. i wouldnt be where i am today if it werent for them buying me thousands of dollars worth of manga to keep me happy in this shit world"
sexual white chocolate as the almighty coreybapes. this show takes place several years in the future, when humanity is near total damnation. many things have fallen, including religion. the only religion that has remained intact is bapeism. coreybapes is the almighty deity that overlooks this crumbling world. his past is relatively unknown, but religious scholars are working day and night to uncover his history. the only thing that is known about him is that he is the hero of the "shadow war," a battle in the past that lasted several years where great beasts emerged from swamps, volcanoes, and even the tar on the streets in the suburbs to destroy mankind. he was able to save the world by sacrificing himself. however, history is repeating itself, as beasts are once again emerging and itching to destroy the planet. it is prophecized that the chosen one will one day travel to the ends of the earth to revive coreybapes, and save the world once and for all. "i don't even care, i just like people. i didn't even want this. wouldn't have minded dying in obscurity, but haha it's whatever, man. not gonna complain"
oberon as bonesaw ryokaimus, a pro-skateboarder. ten years before the start of the series, skateboarding was outlawed because of the "tony hawk massacre." it was an incident where tony hawk and fifteen thousand other skaters across the country drew a bunch of graffiti on the white house and subsequently bombed half of north america. as a result, if you're seen skateboarding, you are executed on the spot. bonesaw is a good man, and loves skateboarding, so he wants to bring it back to the glory days when skaters could live in peace without persecution. "mommy where u at"
delsan as daddymack. he was a world renowned scientist who was inches away from discovering the origins of everything in the universe but gave up all of his research when he discovered surfing. he is now a decent, but not great, surfer. "i could either do what i love and make some money or do what i hate and get CRUNK CRUBNK CRUNK"
wehrmacht as honeybaby, the most evil person in the world. every time someone lies, cheats, steals, commits murder, or does anything remotely bad, a tiny orb of darkness (think clannad but instead of light orbs its dark orbs) floats inside honeybaby and it takes him one step closer to the edge, and HE'S ABOUT TO BREAK! lives in stevey's hometown, within the catacombs that reside underneath the local bass fishing equipment store. his motives, for the time being, remain unknown. "always wanted to explore the tombs of ancient pharaohs on my new motorcycle but all you people made it so tough for me to do stuff like that!"