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Old October 1st, 2009, 04:02 AM   #1
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Default joke thread for the well read
alright so about halfway through my physics homework i decided to take a nap. then about halfway through my second attempt at my physics homework i decided to take a nap. then about halfway through my third attempt at my physics homework i realized that i had to do something else because bernoulli's principle can suck my dick.

i'd thought what i'd do was, i'd make a joke thread for the literature section.

enjoy them if you will, or even better, hit me up with some of your best jokes!

what is the best thing to say to a high school dropout
don't worry man as long as you keep holden onto your dreams you'll always be successful

why was moby dick so mad
because the mailman keeps forgetting to deliver ishmael

what did the herman melville fanatic say to himself while he was arguing with himself
-"call me ishmael"
-"i would prefer not to"

who is the dumbest character in last of the mohicans
natty dumbo

i can't seem to find my letter where could it be
did you check your chest you skank

what is michael vick's favorite place in the world
animal farm

what is henry david thoreau's favorite teenage drama
walden pond

what do you call it when a black guy gets a better job than a white man
catch-22

what does edgar allan poe have in common with sephiroth
they both like moms

what is a really racist thing to say to indians but not really
chinkgachgook

in twilight, why is the writing kinda hard to like
because it's kinda dark how are you gonna see all of the text

if ken kesey was at hogwarts what house would he be in
hufflePUFF

what's the difference between a good book and a great book
gatsby

how many big brothers does it take to fill in a light bulb
1984

great walt whitman joke here:
if you were playing jeopardy, and the question was "30 grams or more may earn you prison time", what would your answer be?
what is the grass

alright show me what you got khi come on this physics homework is killing me.

so it goes.
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Old October 1st, 2009, 04:07 AM   #2
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
Not gonna lie, I lol'd a few times

What's a pigs least favorite place to visit?
the slaughter-house 5
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Old October 1st, 2009, 04:10 AM   #3
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
why couldnt piggy survive on the deserted island
because he didnt have the brains
Quote:
Originally Posted by scubasteve View Post
i can't seem to find my letter where could it be
did you check your chest you skank
oh hwah hwah hwah i see wut you did thar
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Old October 1st, 2009, 04:52 AM   #4
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
Hey Steve thanks for the lolgasm
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Old October 1st, 2009, 05:03 AM   #5
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
what do dead puppies and eddie's dick have in common
you can find them both where the red fern grows
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Old October 1st, 2009, 05:16 AM   #6
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
Quote:
Originally Posted by scubasteve View Post
what do you call it when a black guy gets a better job than a white man
catch-22
best one


what does heinlein call it when his arm falls asleep and he masturbates?
stranger in a strange hand

what do you get when you cross hunter s thompson and steinbeck?
i don't know, but it sure can lie

the creator of the twilight series is remaking the first written english story guess what its called
beoyiff
Last edited by Square Ninja; October 1st, 2009 at 05:26 AM.
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 09:56 PM   #7
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
not many people read so i'm not surprised with this turnout but whatever i like what i've seen so far

what did the fella on the western front say
it's quiet... all quiet

which pilgrim didn't get invited to the first thanksgiving
billy pilgrim

not great but i'm running slim on time here
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Old October 4th, 2009, 12:05 AM   #8
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
what did the fan say after somehow accidentally meeting thomas pynchon
what nice eye(s) you have

what did the literate rapper call himself
o.g. ballard
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Old October 4th, 2009, 12:54 AM   #9
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
Where's a vampires favorite place to park their car?
Salem's Lot
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Old October 4th, 2009, 12:57 AM   #10
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
what did jack london say after he hung up the phone
that was the wild i have to go

what did the doctor say to the incurable gimp
you will just have to hobbit

what do you call a michael j fox erection
shakespeare

what is albert camus' ace in the hole masturbatory move
the stranger

oldie but a goody:
what did lady macbeth say to her dirty clothes
out damned spot

what did the cool dad say to the boy reading twlight
son are you sucking dick again *swigs manhattan*

what do you use when muggers attack you
arsenic and old mace

why wouldnt the pussy stop whining about his paws
he was a cat on a hot tin roof

where did chinua achebe learn that things fall apart
jenga
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Old October 4th, 2009, 01:29 AM   #11
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
Quote:
Originally Posted by wu tang goku View Post
where did chinua achebe learn that things fall apart
jenga
i was just thinking of a joke for that book

why did the PLEBEIAN give up on reading difficult irish novels
it was uselysses

abc
kesey as
123
or simple as
alfred jarry
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Old October 4th, 2009, 07:22 PM   #12
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
Quote:
Originally Posted by wu tang goku View Post
what did jack london say after he hung up the phone
that was the wild i have to go
Quote:
Originally Posted by wu tang goku View Post
what do you call a michael j fox erection
shakespeare
Quote:
Originally Posted by massive attack View Post
abc
kesey as
123
or simple as
alfred jarry
that's what this thread is all about!

who is machiavelli's favorite member of the cobra unit
the end

who probably wouldn't get very far with a rubik's cube
atlas
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Old October 4th, 2009, 08:49 PM   #13
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
what was the gun that shot the albatross
the rime of the ancient derringer
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Old October 4th, 2009, 09:32 PM   #14
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
what did the writer say when asked if he's going to finish his pretentious, preachy novel
"i'll get a rand to it"
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Old October 4th, 2009, 10:28 PM   #15
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Default Re: joke thread for the well read
What did Shakespeare say after he found out he was diagnosed with gonorrhea?
To pee or not to pee, that is the question.
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