Anomaly (work in progress)

[nojerom_14]

......... Sounds like a plan. Good luck, Gil.

[Gildragon]

thanks. you sound a little too excited though

[All-Star Gamer]

Well, it's well written anyways, and that is half the battle. I'll be sure to keep an eye out.

[nojerom_14]

Excited? Eh, not really. Supportive's more like it.

[Gildragon]

UPDATE: Character names have been decided and I wrote the chapter that includes the speech and the chapter before it. I am guessing they are chapters 3 & 4 but I might make them 4 & 5. I know I don't write chapters in order. they are below in the red text. I haven't written the story as to why they are going somewhere, but basically they are going to the professor to have him answer their questions on the enemy. first chapter is them on their way through the sewer of a demolished city and the second is them at the proffessors facility.


It was difficult to find an entrance to the sewers. The main access was destroyed and there were walls of debris around the city. Not to mention the sun was not yet risen. They found a way to climb with some difficulty. The real problem was once they reached the other side, how would they see? They did not use a flashlight because the very enemy they were trying to avoid did not fear that brightness. Jack had to make a sacrifice of power to his blinding light generator to find his way and be safe. Thankfully, both Jack and Jocelyn remembered to wear the lenses to protect their own eyes. He could even tell before coming down that the streets were filled. He pointed his beam towards the creatures and immediately had to plug his ears as to dilute the screaming and hissing.

Jocelyn who seemed unaffected by the scraeming still waited till after it was gone and her enemy cleared, to go down. Jack followed after her. Once they reached the bottom the instructions given them were confirmed that it would be safer to take the sewers. Jack spotted an opening and started to climb down.

It was even darker in there than on the surface. At least some electricity was running up there. The only light they had was his generator. And every path, surprisingly, seemed clear. It seemed like an eternity of silence while they walked.

Jocelyn said. " You know Jack, something feels wrong about this place."

And she was wright. There was a large group waiting around the bend of a corner. Sure enough the light scared them away, but one bold one jumped from the wall beside them on Jack's shoulder.

"OH MY GOSH... JACK!" Jocelyn screamed, as she shown the light on his tormentor, who had already taken of a bit of skin, but no blood.

"Jack, why is this happening? Why are we here?"

Jack didn't know why he had reached this place. It seemed pointless to even guess the reason behind it, from his point of view. But then again, at the moment, it didn't matter. He did realize and had learned how to avoid getting hurt, but that option was suddenly becoming seemingly less possible with every minute lost.

"Jack," Jocelyn said, " I found the way out"

Jack, very surprised, for he had been this way before, did not believe Jocelyn at first. But turned anyway because it seemed that in the last moments of things it would be Jocelyn that would help him along. There was a ladder and grate through which beams of light shown down and lit up the space around the ladder. This besides the ladder was a good sign, for it was daylight. As Jocelyn first climbed the ladder, Jack decided to leave the light at the bottom to keep them away. The grate was easy to lift and Jocelyn had no trouble getting through. After taking a look around she called for Jack to come up. Jack looked aroudn and spotted the Facility in the distance.

"Jocelyn, lets go now. We can make it before darkness hits."

END CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER BELOW

Jack and Jocelyn, after a considerable amount of time finally made it to the professors facility and came from the east side. It reminded Jack of the old Medieval Fortresses he read about when earth was still around. Strong, and hard to break into. There were a few people walking the grounds. Jack went up to one and said,

"Excuse me, Hi. We have come from an undecided place name to find the professor. and..."

Jack was interrupted. The other man said. "Follow me." and took them inside

The halls seemed filled with people studying their new evil. No actual specimens were found so far, but there was a plethora of diagrams, pictures, and videos that people crowded around.

Out of nowhere, a slightly more official and taller man came out and seemed surprised to see new strangers. Jack's guide said, "Wait here." and walked over to the other. It seemed from Jack's Point of View that this new man didn't want them there, but after some time that man walked over and said, "Don't speak, but you will follow me now."

Finally they saw the professor who was dressed in brighter colors and seemed more serious than he should be. Jack walked over to him and said, "Professor, I am Jack and this is my assistant Jocelyn. We want to..."

"Jack I know who you are, and why you are here. There is no time for proper introduction," HE interrupted

"Well then, Professor tell me what we are dealing with."

The professor avoiding the true answer to his question said, "It is something new"

"Come on, give me something important. where does it come from?"

The professor paused, and noticing the wound on Jacks shoulder said,

"The Beginning of it was not of a natrual course. Neither was it of intention or design. This new phenomenon defied the reason for it to exist. This could only be described as an anomaly. We cannot ask where it came from for, you see, science disproves its existence, and therefore origin. This...thing, cannot consume, does not reproduce, does not waste. It cannot be a living thing, however it also cannot be machine. It does not follow algorithms, transfer data or even take orders. And Jack, it is important to state that it does not learn or remember things. It simply, well how can I say this, KNOWS. Even this is a mystery because we have not discovered a device, drive, or organ that could store such massive amounts of information.

Now Jack, you might wonder if it knows so much, how could we have destroyed this one? Well, we didn't. It just stopped working. If someone did create this I don't believe it to be the creator. Could he have not realized that someone else could be coming up with an imperfection of system? There is no pattern in its operation so we cannot predict. It's structure does not have a pattern or path. I believe this to be a conjugation of an anomaly when the "give over" takes place.

Besides that we haven't found a way to kill it, but as you may already know, it flees from high powered bright lights.

Now if you will follow this man over here, he will take you to a place where you can rest for the night."

Jack thanked the doctor and went to his quarters.

[Dawning Twilight]

that was pretty good. you're good at conversations between characters. interesting name choices. there's something about the next paragraph that i really like. over all i say continue with the conversations between people and dialog. nice job earned a 8.6/10

Now Jack, you might wonder if it knows so much, how could we have destroyed this one? Well, we didn't. It just stopped working. If someone did create this I don't beleive it to be the creator. Could he have not realized that someone else could be coming up with an imperfection of system? There is no pattern in its operation so we cannot predict. It's structure does not have a pattern or path. I beleive this to be a conjugation of an anomaly when the "give over" takes place.

[Gildragon]

THanks DT. I woiudl also appreciate people that se this (even if I don't know you) to comment

[nojerom_14]

Pretty good, Gil, but make sure to proofread it; ya got silly wee errors hidin' out there from ya.

[All-Star Gamer]

Better. Lots better than the first one. If anything, try to make each chapter longer if possible. Good work.

[Gildragon]

thanks ASG your advice as a fellow writed is appreciated.

[Grimmjow Jaggerjack]

came form the east side

From.

Only mistake I've noticed, so that's a good point. You write good, although bit confusing...I have no idea whatsoever what this fic is about. I imagine you'll explain more of the story later, but still.

Also, might be a good suggestion: Try to add titles and the like, gives a bit more insight and direction to a story.

[Dantez of Divinity]

Ha coolieo dude. Write more please. Can't wait for the next one! ^_^

[Gildragon]

Ok then. I have some spare time after work I can use. I think I'll start off by writing some sort of prologue and some chapters leading up to this point. I'l tyr to post this saturday