help needed....

Sonja~Soulheart · 10/02/07, 08:53 AM

alright, im having a hard time over this problem. i really need advice about this...

alrighty.. :(p.s..... please help.. im really in need of advice)

it's about some months now that i met this guy. and well... when he asked if i could be his.. uhm... gf, i said 'yes'. well, things havent been that complicated (just talking.. nothing unusual). now, just recently... i dont know anymore. when he goes on in ym (yea, weird i know...) i dont feel like talking to him and go invisible (its a blessing) or when he says i love you, i dont react that much and just say 'thanks' (cold-hearted, huh?) and sometime, i get nervous (as in scared-nervous). now, main problem... im planning to well, tell him it isnt working. the thing is i know he's going to be hurt but i need to.... im getting confused.

i really need advice on how i can do that... without hurting him too much.

anything would be really useful.. so please

Jopari · 10/02/07, 09:10 AM

Just tell him. It's gonna hurt more if you waste time tripping and stumbling over your words. I know it sounds heartless, but just tell him that you don't feel that the relation is working and that you don't think you should continue it.

He might not understand at first, but just tell him the truth and eventually he should move on. We all have to move on if it doesn't work.

**blinkboy211** · 10/02/07, 01:04 PM

Just give him the old "we can still be friends" saying. Or just working with the friend angle saying it never really felt like you were in a relationship but rather friends who talked alot. But either way you need to let him go no matter how cold hearted it gets. If he is the same age as you this shouldnt effect him too much with you two still being young enough.

Deeman · 10/02/07, 01:10 PM

It's better to tell him now then wait a couple more weeks/months. If you wait too long and then tell him, it could do much worse damage then it would now. No matter what you do or say to break up with him, however, he will be hurt. That's why you have to be gentle with him in telling him that you're not interested anymore. But you can still be friends; give him that option.

Sonja~Soulheart · 10/04/07, 04:34 AM

thanks guys for the advices... i did like you said.. its over for us now.

he took it hard... (but its really hard to tell) but im certain he got hurt...

once again thanks for giving help

Axel Owns · 10/04/07, 04:58 AM

i really hope it works out for you =)
just stay strong, you did the right thing by telling him now before it got too intimate
i didnt really like my gf, but i didnt know how to tell her right, so she basically shoved me away and cried for a few days when i finally broke up w/her

mesmerized · 10/04/07, 05:04 AM

Its better that you did it now; if you would have waited it would have hurt even more.
For example, my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was extremely crappy and we both saw it.. however I "loved" him so much [[that or i was obsessed.]] that he stayed with me for months after we knew it should have ended. Finally after 6 months together he pulled my heart out and stomped on it! I felt like the last 3 months of my life had been for nothing.

So you did the right thing! Don't feel bad, instead feel proud that you didn't hurt him any more than you had to

Sonja~Soulheart · 10/04/07, 12:15 PM

thanks a lot again guys. and mesmerized... you rock! ^o^

and... it somehow just felt like a shalow emotion with him... if that's the case then there's no reason to continue it right? so, thanks alot once again to you guys ^.^

p.s... since this thread's been answered... how do you close it by the way?

10/02/07, 08:53 AM	#1
Sonja~Soulheart Speed lvl- snail Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Where angels lose their way Age: 15 Posts: 1,588 Rep Power: 4	help needed.... alright, im having a hard time over this problem. i really need advice about this... alrighty.. :(p.s..... please help.. im really in need of advice) it's about some months now that i met this guy. and well... when he asked if i could be his.. uhm... gf, i said 'yes'. well, things havent been that complicated (just talking.. nothing unusual). now, just recently... i dont know anymore. when he goes on in ym (yea, weird i know...) i dont feel like talking to him and go invisible (its a blessing) or when he says i love you, i dont react that much and just say 'thanks' (cold-hearted, huh?) and sometime, i get nervous (as in scared-nervous). *now, main problem... im planning to well, tell him it isnt working. the thing is i know he's going to be hurt but i need to.... im getting confused.* i really need advice on how i can do that... without hurting him too much. anything would be really useful.. so please

10/02/07, 09:10 AM	#2
Jopari Ruler of Light Join Date: May 2007 Location: Defying Authority blatantly and being awesome while I do Age: 17 Posts: 678 Rep Power: 2	Re: help needed.... Just tell him. It's gonna hurt more if you waste time tripping and stumbling over your words. I know it sounds heartless, but just tell him that you don't feel that the relation is working and that you don't think you should continue it. He might not understand at first, but just tell him the truth and eventually he should move on. We all have to move on if it doesn't work.

10/02/07, 01:04 PM	#3
blinkboy211 Raping the world of happiness Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: St. Louis Age: 21 Posts: 4,085 Rep Power: 6	Re: help needed.... Just give him the old "we can still be friends" saying. Or just working with the friend angle saying it never really felt like you were in a relationship but rather friends who talked alot. But either way you need to let him go no matter how cold hearted it gets. If he is the same age as you this shouldnt effect him too much with you two still being young enough.

10/02/07, 01:10 PM	#4
Deeman Malignant Narcissism Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pierrefonds Age: 16 Posts: 3,791 Rep Power: 8	Re: help needed.... It's better to tell him now then wait a couple more weeks/months. If you wait too long and then tell him, it could do much worse damage then it would now. No matter what you do or say to break up with him, however, he will be hurt. That's why you have to be gentle with him in telling him that you're not interested anymore. But you can still be friends; give him that option.

10/04/07, 04:34 AM	#5
Sonja~Soulheart Speed lvl- snail Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Where angels lose their way Age: 15 Posts: 1,588 Rep Power: 4	Re: help needed.... thanks guys for the advices... i did like you said.. its over for us now. he took it hard... (but its really hard to tell) but im certain he got hurt... once again thanks for giving help

10/04/07, 04:58 AM	#6
Axel Owns Exiled Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Well I guess I'm on the forums. Age: 17 Posts: 1,089 Rep Power: 3	Re: help needed.... i really hope it works out for you =) just stay strong, you did the right thing by telling him now before it got too intimate i didnt really like my gf, but i didnt know how to tell her right, so she basically shoved me away and cried for a few days when i finally broke up w/her

10/04/07, 05:04 AM	#7
mesmerized Ruler of Light Join Date: May 2007 Location: Chitown Age: 20 Posts: 653 Rep Power: 2	Re: help needed.... Its better that you did it now; if you would have waited it would have hurt even more. For example, my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was extremely crappy and we both saw it.. however I "loved" him so much [[that or i was obsessed.]] that he stayed with me for months after we knew it should have ended. Finally after 6 months together he pulled my heart out and stomped on it! I felt like the last 3 months of my life had been for nothing. So you did the right thing! Don't feel bad, instead feel proud that you didn't hurt him any more than you had to

10/04/07, 12:15 PM	#8
Sonja~Soulheart Speed lvl- snail Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Where angels lose their way Age: 15 Posts: 1,588 Rep Power: 4	Re: help needed.... thanks a lot again guys. and mesmerized... you rock! ^o^ and... it somehow just felt like a shalow emotion with him... if that's the case then there's no reason to continue it right? so, thanks alot once again to you guys ^.^ p.s... since this thread's been answered... how do you close it by the way?

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