Not the best life for me

[InfiniteTwilight]

This is a little weird for me to say and I wasn't sure if I should've done this, but here I go. I used to have a stepdad for most of my life. My mom got married to him when I was still about a toddler (I don't remember the wedding) so I was probably shy about him. At first, my mom, my older sis, my stepdad, and me lived in an apartment. About that time, he was one of the funnest people to be with (piggy back rides, tickling, etc.) Then we had to move out because the apartment flooded one, and my mom got pregnant. So my grandparents bought us the house I still live in now. So he was born, and everything still went smoothly. We mostly got along until my little sister was born...

Basically after that, things started to change slowly. A few years after the birth, I started to get in trouble a bit. Then it turned into a lot. He started caring more about them instead of me (Not to be shallow or anything. The attention wasn't what I wanted, but love). Soon, when they were old enough to walk up the stairs, they started coming into my room and started breaking and bothering my stuff. I had to tell on them constantly and most of the time, my stepdad ignored me. So one time, I told them to "go away" and he got all mad at me. I tried avoiding that word when they still came in, but I still got in trouble.

My older sis tried to tell me to leave them alone (I wasn't smart enough to listen to her) and I kept getting in trouble. Soon, he started picking favorites, with my older sis at top. He started calling me names (idiot, believe it or not, but "crooked butt?" etc.) and I got reeeeeaaaaallly tired of it. I started yelling at him and he yelled back which was annoying. My mom defended me most of the time, making up an excuse that would save me for another day.

Later, things got physical. I was walking up the stairs and he was right behind me. I felt a push behind me and I tripped at the last step and started to cry. I told my mom about it and she got mad at him. I went to bed later that night and he came in my room and said "I'm gonna get you" which scared me, but I didn't tell anybody. My mom also had an exercise machine in her room and whenever I used it, he came up and complained because he couldn't hear his show down stairs. I stopped using it completely when my mom and him got into a fight over it.

Flashing forwards a bit, in 6th grade, I was taking at nap in my room, and he comes in and throws a shoe at me. All he wanted to do was ask a qustion, and the pissed me off. I forgot to mention, he was a security guard at a hospital. He'd threaten to handcuff me to my bed or use a nightstick on me, just for not being nice to my lil bro and sis. In seventh grade, my mom filed for a divorce (it's a personal matter, not just because of what I had to take) and she was granted custody of my lil bro and sis. Since then, he's been able to spend a few days and weekends with them whenever he doesn't have to work.

For a while, everything seemed fine, until later. When my mom and older sis had to go to work, I had to babysit my younger siblings. They don't really listen to me and basically do whatever they want. The result of babysiting; they started telling on me to him, saying I was being a big jerk. When he brought them back from a weekend with them once he said, "Welcome to my world of pain!" which I took as a threat. I heard comments about him telling them that I should go "jump in a lake" that really annoyed me. I told my mom, but she didn't do anything about it yet.

Then my younger siblings started making lies about me cussing and hurting them when I just wanted to keep away from them. Another weekend; again I get in trouble. So I've tried not talking to them at all, but it doesn't work. Everytime he stopped by, he's made fun of me and insulted me. My mom took care of it, but the last time he came over, he had this bad glare in his eyes. This has got me worried.

The only reason he's like this is because I haven't been on good terms with him or my lil siblings (no room entry, listen to me when I say "go to bed!" etc.) but even if I was, he still wouldn't be nice. I'm getting the feeling that I'm not safe a whole lot. He says he's a "church man" but I think he just might do something terrible to me. I don't answer the phone when he calls or talk to him when he stops by to drop them off/pick them up.

Am I doing the right thing by letting my mom handle things? Do my little bro and sis need an attitude adjustment (They get their attitudes and stuff from cartoons which has influenced on them and now gets me in trouble)? Is there something wrong with me? Tell me what you think about all of this.

[venaquaterra]

i actually skipped the main stuff... and went to the bottom. *cough*

1) Handle your own crud... LIKE ME!!!
2) Not just an attitude adjustment, brain surgery
3) There's nothing wrong with you. Don't worry.

There's your Dr. Phil answer.

[Thelonepickle]

^Read the whole thread next time. Gosh.

Sounds like your family has some definite problems. Talk to your mom about it. Letting her handle it, that's not so bad, because she seems to side with you genuinely, but you should probably REALLY have a heart-to-heart with her about whats' been going on. Mothers usually will protect their kids. It's just instinct. You came first. You came from HER, she loves you. So talk to her about it sometime. When you can really say what you want to.

Your little siblings... They're probably just going through a stage, and that sounds really cliche, but they're just being whiney and laughing at the great reaction they think they're getting when you get in trouble. They want power or something. Kids are weird.

I'd avoid your step-dad at all costs, though. It's scary.

Reguardless of whether or not he'd do something to you, you really shouldn't feel so unsafe in your own home.

[Zero]

Ok I might just be a 12 year old but I can help.

Ok you could play with your siblings and then maybe they might start to like you and they wont lie about you.

For your dad,if your to afraid that he might try and do something to you then dont talk to him and act nice to your siblings when hes around.Or if you dont want to say anything to him or if he says mean things to you when hes with you then just stay in your room when he comes and he cant threaten you anymore.

So thats all I got.

[Jopari]

I'd talk to your mom about it. She can help you with a lot of stuff that you have to deal with and maybe even help you get your younger siblings to behave for you. On the topic of your younger siblings the attitude is probably because their age. Younger children generally just want to be on the top of everyone's attention list, but as they get older it should pass.

But your stepfather is quite scary. I'd avoid him as much as possible and ignore him whenever he insults you. However, if he gets physically abusive then go to someone about it.

Hope this helps you at all.

[gottaluvkh1992]

you and your little bro and sis are like me and my bro, i just ignore him and try to keep away from him, and i stay mostly in my room to avoid getting into trouble, my dad has threatened to hit me, but not like your ex-stepdad does.
Talk to your mum, if he keeps threating you, try to tape it or record it and then take to a police station and say my ex-stepdad is threarting to hurt me and then hand them the tape or recording

[InfiniteTwilight]

Talk to your mom about it. Letting her handle it, that's not so bad, because she seems to side with you genuinely, but you should probably REALLY have a heart-to-heart with her about whats' been going on. Mothers usually will protect their kids. It's just instinct. You came first. You came from HER, she loves you. So talk to her about it sometime. When you can really say what you want to.

You're so right! I do talk to her about it (whenever she's awake. She works late and it's no use talking to her when she's half asleep =P) Yeah, she's really more protective of me and my younger siblings, just a little bit more to me. Even though I'm supposed to be independant at my age, I still cling a little cause she's the one of the two only people who can protect me now.

For your dad,if your to afraid that he might try and do something to you then dont talk to him and act nice to your siblings when hes around.Or if you dont want to say anything to him or if he says mean things to you when hes with you then just stay in your room when he comes and he cant threaten you anymore.

That's what I try to do. I try to watch what I say, cause he calls before coming over so I try and watch myself until after he leaves. Unfortunately, I'll have to take his mouth because most of the times he comes over, I'm either alone or babysitting. My older sis is always out with her boyfriend and my mom goes to work most of the week at night. If he has to bring my younger siblings back over, than I'll basically have to open the door, but luckily, he can't come up into my room! But that is some good advice!

I'd talk to your mom about it. She can help you with a lot of stuff that you have to deal with and maybe even help you get your younger siblings to behave for you. On the topic of your younger siblings the attitude is probably because their age. Younger children generally just want to be on the top of everyone's attention list, but as they get older it should pass.

But your stepfather is quite scary. I'd avoid him as much as possible and ignore him whenever he insults you. However, if he gets physically abusive then go to someone about it.

My mom helps out a lot. She is trying to get them straight though! Thanks to an unexpected visit by the Social Security (the SS as I call them), we basically have to get them straight in behavior which means doing some chores and getting them to talk right (I'd say it's at a slow pace right now.) As for the attitude thing, are you sure this is regular for an 8 (my little sis) and 9 (my little bro) year olds? Even I didn't act like they do (You wouldn't believeeeeeee how they act O.o).

Talk to your mum, if he keeps threating you, try to tape it or record it and then take to a police station and say my ex-stepdad is threarting to hurt me and then hand them the tape or recording

You know, I could catch it! I have a voice recorder on my old MP3 player and it works pretty good! All I have to do now is find it and stick a new battery in it (I lost it after I got my Samsung! =P). I may take it to the police, I don't know. I think my mom already told a policeman about that when we met him at a gas station (it was for the private matter), but I have been thinking about going to the police if he keeps pestering me! Thanks!

[Xeno Xombie]

Kick him in the crotch and walk off. If he still comes after you, make your mom file a divorce on his ass.

[Zero]

Sure no prob but sorry it didnt help.

[dark___edge]

Your step dad needs some help. Have u ever confronted him and asked him why he's so mad at you?
If he's just taking his anger out on you... then avoid him as much as possible. I would. It's happened to me before and i've been through the exact same thing with my dad. Just try stay on good terms with your step dad. If your mom and step dad have already divorced, stay away from your step dad. He's abusive. Tell your mom about the situation and tell her how threatened you feel. Feeling threatened is a major issue that needs to be solved quickly before things get out of hand. I hope this helps. Feel free to pm me if you need anymore help. I'm here for you.

[Jopari]

Originally Posted by InfiniteTwilight

My mom helps out a lot. She is trying to get them straight though! Thanks to an unexpected visit by the Social Security (the SS as I call them), we basically have to get them straight in behavior which means doing some chores and getting them to talk right (I'd say it's at a slow pace right now.) As for the attitude thing, are you sure this is regular for an 8 (my little sis) and 9 (my little bro) year olds? Even I didn't act like they do (You wouldn't believeeeeeee how they act O.o).

Well, maybe I'm wrong about them being normal at that age. I assumed they were younger. It could be that because your stepfather favored them they believe that they can do what they want. In that case it would take a steady discipline to set them straight, so if you and your mom work on setting up a strong system of reward and punishment for them you may be able to get them to act like respectable children.

Hope that helps.

[Thelonepickle]

^It doesn't, fag. >:o

Kiddning.

Anyway, you'd be surprised how long the Terrible Twos can last. This seriously could be a stage. Or it's your stepdad's fault. I mean, pretend you're eight or so. You see an adult you trust constantly berating someone who lives in your house, who you would otherwise look up to, because he's older than you are. This kid gets targeted all the time, even by Good, Powerful Adult Man, so bothering him gives you a sense of power.

Those little kids are just testing the limits. They giggle because they like the idea that they're being Grown Up by following your stepdad's example, probably.

That's just my guess, though. o:

[InfiniteTwilight]

Kick him in the crotch and walk off.

You wouldn't belieeeeeve how much I want to. But everytime I think that, I keep thinking I'll get hit, which is probably possible. Plus, I wanna save that for a guy at my school, just any guy who gets me mad ^^

Sure no prob but sorry it didnt help.

It's okay!

Have u ever confronted him and asked him why he's so mad at you?
If he's just taking his anger out on you... then avoid him as much as possible. I would. It's happened to me before and i've been through the exact same thing with my dad. Just try stay on good terms with your step dad. If your mom and step dad have already divorced, stay away from your step dad. He's abusive. Tell your mom about the situation and tell her how threatened you feel. Feeling threatened is a major issue that needs to be solved quickly before things get out of hand. I hope this helps. Feel free to pm me if you need anymore help. I'm here for you.

I don't really need to confront him, I know why. I don't think it's just anger he's duking out, but maybe he's enjoying the power he's getting when my mom's not around, just making fun of me and discouraging me (CER-OOKED BUTT?! Now that's just plain rude!). My mom actually has been known about it and has tried to keep it in check so that nothing happens to me, which is acutally working. There's gonna be some pretty good new at the end of this post! Thanks for being here for me too! ^^

Well, maybe I'm wrong about them being normal at that age. I assumed they were younger. It could be that because your stepfather favored them they believe that they can do what they want. In that case it would take a steady discipline to set them straight, so if you and your mom work on setting up a strong system of reward and punishment for them you may be able to get them to act like respectable children.

Hope that helps.

I didn't think it was normal either. My ex-step dad does favor them a lot actually. The only reasons they're like this is; 1) He don't like me. 2) He might be brainwashing them. 3) He's spoiling them to death! He could be brainwashing them to think that they can treat me like however, but I can't dicipline the way he would want me to, or at all for that fact. And he is spoiling them by getting them almost anything they want (With all this junk food, it sorta looks like they're getting a bit chubby, but they're lucky they have a gym class at their school). My mom is actually trying to get them into doing chores for allowance, but they don't do it a whole lot. With my mom trying to get them straight and their dad spoiling them the way he is, they aren't going to turn out very good.

Anyway, you'd be surprised how long the Terrible Twos can last. This seriously could be a stage. Or it's your stepdad's fault. I mean, pretend you're eight or so. You see an adult you trust constantly berating someone who lives in your house, who you would otherwise look up to, because he's older than you are. This kid gets targeted all the time, even by Good, Powerful Adult Man, so bothering him gives you a sense of power.

Those little kids are just testing the limits. They giggle because they like the idea that they're being Grown Up by following your stepdad's example, probably.

That's just my guess, though. o:

That's kinda like how my childhood was like over at my grandma's house. My older sis, cousins, and uncles lived there with my grandma when we were younger (Stayed over there most of the time instead of in the apartment). They were always picking on me and picked on each other, so I'd usually either go to my granpa or my mom when she was around. Luckily, neither of the adults were abusive, but I did tell on the others a lot. They didn't get any harsh punishments, just got told to stop, which did make me feel a bit better. They pretty much are pushing the limits though, making up some stories about cussing at them. My lil sis thinks she's the most grown up and bosses everybody around because of it. I'm hoping they'll get out of this stage soon and wake up to the sound of life!

Good news: My mom told me she's going to get a restraining order on him for me. I take this as a good thing, but I'm just hoping I'll regret this later if something bad happens to me in the end.

[XxFeaRLeSsxX]

Well younger kids do need more attention, I guess he just thinks you're old enough to take care of yourself. I wouldn't know, since I'm the youngest child anyways lol but I do have a little cousin that I have to spend a whole summer next to.

Maybe your stepdad is stressed about something (work??) and tired people tend to have a extremely bad attitude. Talk about how you feel with your mom or maybe with him, hopefully it'll solve your problems.

[Jub Jub376]

No offense, but if murder was legal and I had any arsenal I desired, along with funds for flying, I would give your ex-stepdad a slow, painful death.

Why, you may ask? Your ex-stepdad is someone whose generally abusive, selective, and hold the IQ less than that of a rock. Very shallow person in my opinion.

And Mythological Omega, you have just pwned.

Kick him in the crotch and walk off. If he still comes after you, make your mom file a divorce on his ass.

But Halo 3 pwns you.

I'd suggest getting a restraining order on your ex-stepdad to where he cannot come near the house, he has no contact with your little brother and sister, and no contact with you or your family at all. Then if he breaks it, he gets to share a prision cell with a guy named Chili!

And try to be more aggressive towards your little brother and sister if you have to, and try talking to your mom about doing so; Like taking away things like eletronics, junk food, etc., if they don't do their chores. Because they probably are just little spoiled brats who just need to have physical punishment brought upon them, and I think the allowance thing isn't going to work, cos your ex-stepdad is obviously spoiling them to death. (aka get a good leather belt with some metal on it and just go SMACK! and see if they jump 10 feet in the air. If so, then that means the message is going through! :D!)

That's how it is for me, and I was raised to be a polite, understanding, kid with some common sense about him.

OR you could just let your little brother and sister just get fat to where they evetually realize that they had better do something or they will end up dying of obesity because they can't move out of their bed or even walk around for that matter.

Either way should help in my philosophy.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child."

It might sound harsh to some folks, but that's the only way I know how to fix it.

Oh and nice siggeh InfiniteTwilight!!