Dating problems

[Zero]

Alright thanks Radon. Ill Rep you for that.

[Radon]

Don't worry about it. : )

[Xehanort]

So I was hooking up with this girl for like 4 or 5 months. We had the most amazing relationship together but we never were actually considered boyfriend and girlfriend. She liked this other guy who was my friend but never did anything with him. Our relationship was a secret from him and she would never make a choice between the two of us. Eventually, things ended with us and with her and the other guy. We continued to talk everyday but we fought a lot. At the beginning of the summer I found out some stuff that led to me telling my friend what had gone on with me and the girl. He called her and flipped shit at her for 2 hours. The girl and I didn't talk for the majority of the summer after that. Eventually we did talk again and became good friends again. A few weeks later we were talking on the phone about how we missed stuff between the two of us and we both admitted we still had feelings for each other. The next day we hooked up at her house and it was really intense and seemed perfect. She was really happy and said a lot of really sweet things. Later that night she called me and told me it shouldn't have happened and she regrets it. Now we still talk all the time and I'm the closest person to her but she wants to act like it never happened and made it very clear it never will again. But I know she still has feelings for me and has no relationship with any other guy. I have strong feelings for her too. What do I do? How do I go about getting things really started between the two of us again?

[Nevermore]

Originally Posted by Xehanort

So I was hooking up with this girl for like 4 or 5 months. We had the most amazing relationship together but we never were actually considered boyfriend and girlfriend. She liked this other guy who was my friend but never did anything with him. Our relationship was a secret from him and she would never make a choice between the two of us. Eventually, things ended with us and with her and the other guy. We continued to talk everyday but we fought a lot. At the beginning of the summer I found out some stuff that led to me telling my friend what had gone on with me and the girl. He called her and flipped shit at her for 2 hours. The girl and I didn't talk for the majority of the summer after that. Eventually we did talk again and became good friends again. A few weeks later we were talking on the phone about how we missed stuff between the two of us and we both admitted we still had feelings for each other. The next day we hooked up at her house and it was really intense and seemed perfect. She was really happy and said a lot of really sweet things. Later that night she called me and told me it shouldn't have happened and she regrets it. Now we still talk all the time and I'm the closest person to her but she wants to act like it never happened and made it very clear it never will again. But I know she still has feelings for me and has no relationship with any other guy. I have strong feelings for her too. What do I do? How do I go about getting things really started between the two of us again?

There's nothing you can really "do". You just have to accept that it's what she wants right now. Just continue to be a friend and see what happens. You can't force her back into a relationship.

[Athaydea]

so where i live, there used to be 2 catholic schools along with the public district that i go to ..the churches decided to go close both of the catholic schools so everyone that went to them transfered to my puclic school ..i wad heading into my freshman year when this happened and at the start of it, there was this group of girls that were considerably better looking than most of the girls that all of the guys my age were accustomed to seeing ..so naturally - they jumped on them like flies on shit ..on in particular though ..i myself couldnt get this girl out of my head, and though i had a lot of expereience with girls, i knew that she was out of my league. I had nearly every class with her though so i was able to observe how she responded to these guys drooling over her and i somehow ended up becoming a close friend who secretly wouldve done anything for her lol ..now towards of the end of my freshman year ..she kind of admitted to me that she did have something for me ..i knew that it was in part due to the fact that i didnt jump when all the other guys did - i was patient, and acted exactly like myself ..which she liked

this girl though, given her upbringing, school, friends, etc. was very reserved to say the least so it was difficult for me to even do something as simple as kiss her since she had no prior expereince with guys at all ..but anyway ..things were going reallly well until i had an alcohol related accident that nearly cost me my life ..and as i said - she was a "good girl" ..so she kind of pulled the "im done with you" card afterward ..

after i almost died.. it kinda changed how i looked at everything and i found myself not exactly looking for, but really wanting something genuenlly deep and real - but its hard for people to relate and understand you when you are thrown into a situatoin that forces you to grow up and adapt very quickly ..and so once this girl kinda shut me out ..i willingly embraced every little conversation with a pretty girl and other things of that nature ..because of what happened to me though and the fact that the vast majority of highschool kids are rather immature ..no girl who seemed interesed in me or i talked to with an open mind had any of the qualities that a person of my nature would want, appreciate, or really value ..and so for the better part of the last two years ..if i had a conversation with someone new or met anyone remotely interested ..i would pursue it ..BUT whether it took a few days, a few weeks, or a month (which was rarely the case) ..i would find that while i was physically attracted to most of the girls i would talk to ..i wasnt attracted to them as a person.. it may take me a while or no time at all to realize why or just what it is that doesnt click at all ..but when i discovered these things ..i would do my best graiciously let them know it wasnt really working ..(i would never be hurtful or stupid) yet no matter who the girl or how different the situation was ..theyd all call me an asshole and a player, sayin i would just lead them on then just stop talking to them ..and while i can understand how they would think so - im simply not - but occurences like these over the past two years have given me the reputation of a player ..girls warn other girls about me which i find ridiculous ..but anyway

over the last few months ..me and the girl i talked about from my freshman started to talk again ..we're seniors now so she drinks frequently and all that which in her eyes makes it acceptable to speak to me again ..Ive had feelings for her since i met her and all through the 2 years when we didnt really say much to each other aside from "hey whats up" ..her friends tell me she never really let go of her feelings for me and was just traumatized by what happened to me and basically didnt think she could be with someone who killed themselves drinking all the time and shit ..idk if its true but its kinda obvious that theres still something there ..BUTTTTT shes NOW under the impression that i am a player and even though she doesnt care about the drinking thing ..she wont let me act on my feelings and she wont act on her own because she thinks im gonna toy with her ..im still very patient with her - shes the kind you would regret screwing things up with for years ..but no matter how much tim i giver her ..she doesnt seem like shell budge ..and idkkk what to do at this point? ..she tells me you have to gain my trust - which i know i do (even though i havnt played anyone - i was just honest with them when i came to terms with the fact that i didnt have feeling for them) ..but the thing is that while she says i need to ..she wont actually LET me gain her trust at all ..she wont gimme the chances i need to do so - even though she wants me to ern or trust so we can give things a shot ..im lost as to what to do though

can anyone helpp??

[SuperSephiroth15]

Originally Posted by Athaydea

so where i live, there used to be 2 catholic schools along with the public district that i go to ..the churches decided to go close both of the catholic schools so everyone that went to them transfered to my puclic school ..i wad heading into my freshman year when this happened and at the start of it, there was this group of girls that were considerably better looking than most of the girls that all of the guys my age were accustomed to seeing ..so naturally - they jumped on them like flies on shit ..on in particular though ..i myself couldnt get this girl out of my head, and though i had a lot of expereience with girls, i knew that she was out of my league. I had nearly every class with her though so i was able to observe how she responded to these guys drooling over her and i somehow ended up becoming a close friend who secretly wouldve done anything for her lol ..now towards of the end of my freshman year ..she kind of admitted to me that she did have something for me ..i knew that it was in part due to the fact that i didnt jump when all the other guys did - i was patient, and acted exactly like myself ..which she liked

this girl though, given her upbringing, school, friends, etc. was very reserved to say the least so it was difficult for me to even do something as simple as kiss her since she had no prior expereince with guys at all ..but anyway ..things were going reallly well until i had an alcohol related accident that nearly cost me my life ..and as i said - she was a "good girl" ..so she kind of pulled the "im done with you" card afterward ..

after i almost died.. it kinda changed how i looked at everything and i found myself not exactly looking for, but really wanting something genuenlly deep and real - but its hard for people to relate and understand you when you are thrown into a situatoin that forces you to grow up and adapt very quickly ..and so once this girl kinda shut me out ..i willingly embraced every little conversation with a pretty girl and other things of that nature ..because of what happened to me though and the fact that the vast majority of highschool kids are rather immature ..no girl who seemed interesed in me or i talked to with an open mind had any of the qualities that a person of my nature would want, appreciate, or really value ..and so for the better part of the last two years ..if i had a conversation with someone new or met anyone remotely interested ..i would pursue it ..BUT whether it took a few days, a few weeks, or a month (which was rarely the case) ..i would find that while i was physically attracted to most of the girls i would talk to ..i wasnt attracted to them as a person.. it may take me a while or no time at all to realize why or just what it is that doesnt click at all ..but when i discovered these things ..i would do my best graiciously let them know it wasnt really working ..(i would never be hurtful or stupid) yet no matter who the girl or how different the situation was ..theyd all call me an asshole and a player, sayin i would just lead them on then just stop talking to them ..and while i can understand how they would think so - im simply not - but occurences like these over the past two years have given me the reputation of a player ..girls warn other girls about me which i find ridiculous ..but anyway

over the last few months ..me and the girl i talked about from my freshman started to talk again ..we're seniors now so she drinks frequently and all that which in her eyes makes it acceptable to speak to me again ..Ive had feelings for her since i met her and all through the 2 years when we didnt really say much to each other aside from "hey whats up" ..her friends tell me she never really let go of her feelings for me and was just traumatized by what happened to me and basically didnt think she could be with someone who killed themselves drinking all the time and shit ..idk if its true but its kinda obvious that theres still something there ..BUTTTTT shes NOW under the impression that i am a player and even though she doesnt care about the drinking thing ..she wont let me act on my feelings and she wont act on her own because she thinks im gonna toy with her ..im still very patient with her - shes the kind you would regret screwing things up with for years ..but no matter how much tim i giver her ..she doesnt seem like shell budge ..and idkkk what to do at this point? ..she tells me you have to gain my trust - which i know i do (even though i havnt played anyone - i was just honest with them when i came to terms with the fact that i didnt have feeling for them) ..but the thing is that while she says i need to ..she wont actually LET me gain her trust at all ..she wont gimme the chances i need to do so - even though she wants me to ern or trust so we can give things a shot ..im lost as to what to do though

can anyone helpp??

Honestly. Ask her to find a day where she is available, and that you want a serious talk with her. Sit her down, and explain everything. If she cares and likes you as much as you say she does, then she should accept what you say, and trust you. If she doesn't then move on, she isn't the right one for you. Remember though, you're in High School still. It's not the end of your life, it's the beginning. You seem to have a head on your shoulders enough to understand that anyways. Back to the point...sit her down, be completely honest and tell her everything. Tell her your feelings about what the other girls say and how it upsets you, because you have been falsely accused.

Overall, you have to be yourself, but be open. Show her that you're willing to open up to her. If she returns it and listens to you seriously, then that's not only a good friend, but a WONDERFUL trait in a partner for a relationship.

[rikus_darkness]

So, I'm almost 13, and there is a girl I really like. The only thing is, she's dating my best friend. I respect their relationship, and don't want to interfere, but it's frustrating at times. Any advice?

Also, yesterday, someone came up and wanted to see if I could go out. I wasn't too sure about it, so we exchanged numbers, and I told her I'd sleep on it. Should I go out with her, even though I like a different girl and am not currently interested in the girl who asked me out?

[KaiSparda1018]

Originally Posted by rikus_darkness

So, I'm almost 13, and there is a girl I really like. The only thing is, she's dating my best friend. I respect their relationship, and don't want to interfere, but it's frustrating at times. Any advice?

Also, yesterday, someone came up and wanted to see if I could go out. I wasn't too sure about it, so we exchanged numbers, and I told her I'd sleep on it. Should I go out with her, even though I like a different girl and am not currently interested in the girl who asked me out?

To answer your last question - no. It is unfair to go out with a girl when you like someone else, because you will always be thinking about the other girl. If I guy did that to me, I'd be crushed. But since the girl you like is taken, maybe you should become friends with this other girl and see if you could like her first. And have you talked to your friend about the situation at all?

[rikus_darkness]

Yeah, I have. He knows, but doesn't really pay it any mind, nor do I. So are you saying to just call the other girl back and say we could just be friends?

[KaiSparda1018]

Originally Posted by rikus_darkness

Yeah, I have. He knows, but doesn't really pay it any mind, nor do I. So are you saying to just call the other girl back and say we could just be friends?

Yeah. Well, you should let her know that there is a possibility that you could develop feelings for her, but you want to get to know her first.
But I am in a similar situation to you. I have a huge crush on my best friend's ex. But there's this unwritten "girl-code" that says you don't date your best friend's ex. But there is this other guy that likes me. He's cute, but he just doesn't have what my crush has. And I don't want to just go out with this other guy when I know I'll leave him in a heartbeat if my crush asks me out. So I'm just going to be friends with him and continue to try and get with my crush.

[Annoyance]

Originally Posted by KaiSparda1018

Yeah. Well, you should let her know that there is a possibility that you could develop feelings for her, but you want to get to know her first.
But I am in a similar situation to you. I have a huge crush on my best friend's ex. But there's this unwritten "girl-code" that says you don't date your best friend's ex. But there is this other guy that likes me. He's cute, but he just doesn't have what my crush has. And I don't want to just go out with this other guy when I know I'll leave him in a heartbeat if my crush asks me out. So I'm just going to be friends with him and continue to try and get with my crush.

Getting with your crush could turn the best friend part into friend who I'm now awkward around because I make out with her ex now.

[KaiSparda1018]

Originally Posted by Annoyance

Getting with your crush could turn the best friend part into friend who I'm now awkward around because I make out with her ex now.

I know. That's the suckish part. I invited them both to my birthday party and my crush and I ended up having a whipped cream fight and she entered the room right in the middle of it...needless to say it was very awkward. I really like him, but I've been friends with her since I was eleven. Not sure he's worth messing up my friendship...but at the same time I really like him.

[king_mickey rule]

So, here's my story. It's actually not a big problem but I'm just very confused.

There's this girl that I got to know better like a month ago. She is 14, she's really nice and we had really good talks but when she just gave me her number she was asking these weird questions like,Do you have a girlfriend, do you want a girlfriend, what do you think about me, etc. She said some songs that I sould look for, an example? Boys like girls - Thunder (theme=love). We started talking and from then on we always talk to each other and when she had problems I always tried to help her (if she was interested in me, I would like to try a relationship with her). Now, 2 days ago I went bowling with friends and she was there too of course.

Then I heard the girls say things about someone (I think it was about me because a few minutes earlier they were talking about me) and then the girl said: No, he's too nice ..... Did one of the other girls just asked her if she was interested in me? And how can someone be too nice ? I didn't mind it that much because I wasn't sure that she was talking about me. And even if she was talking about me, then she doesn't know me as well she thinks she knows me. I'm a nice guy and if someone has problems I love to help them but that doesn't make you too nice ... I think xD

Anyways, later we went somewhere to drink something with the group and along the way I was teasing her and then she said, you're "evil" :P (in a playful way of course) ... so at one time I'm too nice and a few hours later I'm "evil".
Now I really don't know how she thinks about me
Soooo someone help?

[Du Soleil.]

Originally Posted by king_mickey rule

So, here's my story. It's actually not a big problem but I'm just very confused.

There's this girl that I got to know better like a month ago. She is 14, she's really nice and we had really good talks but when she just gave me her number she was asking these weird questions like,Do you have a girlfriend, do you want a girlfriend, what do you think about me, etc. She said some songs that I sould look for, an example? Boys like girls - Thunder (theme=love). We started talking and from then on we always talk to each other and when she had problems I always tried to help her (if she was interested in me, I would like to try a relationship with her). Now, 2 days ago I went bowling with friends and she was there too of course.

Then I heard the girls say things about someone (I think it was about me because a few minutes earlier they were talking about me) and then the girl said: No, he's too nice ..... Did one of the other girls just asked her if she was interested in me? And how can someone be too nice ? I didn't mind it that much because I wasn't sure that she was talking about me. And even if she was talking about me, then she doesn't know me as well she thinks she knows me. I'm a nice guy and if someone has problems I love to help them but that doesn't make you too nice ... I think xD

Anyways, later we went somewhere to drink something with the group and along the way I was teasing her and then she said, you're "evil" :P (in a playful way of course) ... so at one time I'm too nice and a few hours later I'm "evil".
Now I really don't know how she thinks about me
Soooo someone help?

Believe it or not, a lot of girls do like a man who has his dominant moments. I know a lot of guys who are lovely, but because they're too nice (i.e. don't give me a passionate feeling), I would never date them. That's not to say you should change who you are, because if she can't like you for who you are, it really isn't worth it. That is, of course, if you're the one she was talking about. A good relationship is passionate and she might be one of those girls who like a guy with a rebellious/dominant edge to him. When she was saying you were evil, and since it was in a playful way, that's a sign that she likes being teased. Believe me, girls love to be teased. If you like her, then go for it, but like I said -- don't change who you are. Just don't turn into a total asshole.

[king_mickey rule]

Originally Posted by Du Soleil.

Believe it or not, a lot of girls do like a man who has his dominant moments. I know a lot of guys who are lovely, but because they're too nice (i.e. don't give me a passionate feeling), I would never date them. That's not to say you should change who you are, because if she can't like you for who you are, it really isn't worth it. That is, of course, if you're the one she was talking about. A good relationship is passionate and she might be one of those girls who like a guy with a rebellious/dominant edge to him. When she was saying you were evil, and since it was in a playful way, that's a sign that she likes being teased. Believe me, girls love to be teased. If you like her, then go for it, but like I said -- don't change who you are. Just don't turn into a total asshole.

I know that some girls like that kind of guys but I really don't understand what makes you kinda dominant in the eyes of a girl ... and she was just a friend of mine but then she started too ask these questions and gave the songs so I was like hmmm ... she likes me, and then I started to think the same way.
Girls are very difficult to understand
Do you have any tips what I should do?