[Question] She's already got a boyfriend.... [Question]

[Teiku 5]

the basic premise is: i love my best friend, but she's already got a boyfriend

now to explain....

this year i'm going to be a senior so thats going to be a full three years i've known my best friend. i don't she would consider me as her best friend but as one of her best friends. we've been friends ever since the start of 9th grade and she has always been there for me through so many different things. she was even there for me during the breakup between me and who used to be both of our friends. that was such a crappy time and she stayed with me. i like to call her my sister cuz of how amazing she is.

but she's also funny. crazy. fun. she's not book smart, but she's not stupid by any means and has one of the kindest and caring hearts. she will hurt herself to keep other people from getting upset.

well anyways....

it was last summer. last spring i had broken up with the only girlfriend i had ever had. she had also been one of my best friends but i guess it took about a couple weeks to get over the whole situation and now i have nothing but hate for her. theres no need to explain that situiation. well as time goes on, this girl is the only person i really have to talk to. not that thats bad or anything. but time goes on, and i realize i like her. but i wasnt really sure. to top it off, on myspace surveys she kept hinting that she liked someone. of course, my mind always wondered if it was me she was thinking of.

i guess it was last august...she gets with her boyfriend (her first, and current). he's actually a guy that she had her eye on for a while but i only knew what she spoke of him b/c he doesn't go to our school. they've been together for almost a year and its killing me. not long after they got together, i realized that i really did like her.

and over the past year i've realized that i'm absolutely crazy about her. and theres nothing i can do about it, right?

obviously i cant change what has happened. i cant go back a year and tell her that i like her. but i cant help but get the feeling that maybe i should be honest with her. or maybe i'm just hoping that maybe things will go my way once.

is there anyone that has been in a similar situation that can give advice? what should i do? give up? open my mouth and take the risk? hope she's still my friend even if she rejects me? please help.

[The Lionheart]

If she's dating someone, all you can do is wait. It's not cool to make a move on a girl while she has a boyfriend.

You should tell her, yes, but I don't think now is the time. You have to wait for the opportune moment.

[Stavvy]

I say tell her. Either that or give up, but I know that's hard.

If she's that good of a friend, she won't kick you out of her life.

[Donna da Ragione]

Sooo many threads like this.

It never works out, dude, you should just give up on it and preserve your friendship.

[Teiku 5]

like i realize that she has a boyfriend and she's probably happy with him (i wouldnt know cuz she doesnt like to talk about herself. she thinks its selfish) so i should give up. but when she's one of the things i think about EVERY SINGLE DAY for almost a year, thats just about impossible.

Originally Posted by Stavvy

I say tell her.

If she's that good of a friend, she won't kick you out of her life.

i would hope so.....

[Stavvy]

Waiting would be good. In the mean time, look for someone else, if you're still single when she is, go for it. If not, keep your friendship.

[_EX]

Hint that you like her but dont tell her. THen she will think about it and depending on what she does next you will know if she is interested. Dont tell her directly or that might make things weird.

[Teiku 5]

Originally Posted by Stavvy

Waiting would be good. In the mean time, look for someone else, if you're still single when she is, go for it. If not, keep your friendship.

see thats just another part of the problem. the only people i really get to associate in life are my family, my church (relatively small), and my school (private, christian, there's about 50 people in my grade). i dont really have a way to get out and meet new people and the current possibilities (few as they are) have already been exhausted. its like my life is fighting against itself, concerning the lovelife at least.

[Chris]

kill him

[Stavvy]

How big is your town? Any places that kids hang out?

Trust me, I know all about small friend circles.

[Teiku 5]

Originally Posted by _EX

Hint that you like her but dont tell her. THen she will think about it and depending on what she does next you will know if she is interested. Dont tell her directly or that might make things weird.

well...to be honest, im not sure if she knows already. i mean, she knows i consider her my best friend. and i dont have that many good friends :P. and in my opinion at least, i think we're pretty close as far as friends go even though we dont get to spend that much time together besides at school.

she knows i like someone and i get the feeling she knows its her, but either doesn't care or is ignoring it.

[Noich]

well if you don't know the guy, just tell her how you feel about her.

[Teiku 5]

Originally Posted by Antlion

kill him

lmao. yeah, that was my thinking a couple months ago haha. but im not crazy so its all good.

Originally Posted by Stavvy

How big is your town? Any places that kids hang out?

Trust me, I know all about small friend circles.

i live about half an hour away from washington d.c. i live in maryland. theres a mall, but all the rest (and theres a lot of rest) is mainly commercial. there is this one place that has bands every week i think but i've never really bothered going there. im just not sure if its my thing or if my parents would even take me.

[Teiku 5]

Originally Posted by Tight Like Amy

well if you don't know the guy, just tell her how you feel about her.

i've met him. i know of him, just not about him. explain your reasoning as to why i should tell her please.

[Watson]

Originally Posted by Teiku 5

she's one of the things i think about EVERY SINGLE DAY for almost a year

That quote there frightens me a slight bit.

But, I haven't obsessively loved someone before so I should be talking, correct?

Well, there's my love free view of what you just said.