need help, but not sure with what

[big don mega]

as the title says, i need help, but i don't really know how anyone can help with the problem, so i'll just post the problem and hopefully get help on certain parts of it.

character list(this isn't a story but i'd like to give the names so that i dont have to keep describing them)
1.eric-me
2.sara-the girl that i love
3.kayla-my babys mother
4.nicole-my baby

well i haven't talked to sara for half a month before today, because she lost her phone and i didn't know her new number. so earlier when kayla called to ask me if i will keep nicole for a few more days(of course i said yes), i asked her for saras number since kayla is saras best friend. well i got the number then when i got off the phone i saw that i had a text from the number so i didn't even have to ask for it. me and her started talking and i told her that i missed her or that i loved her or something like that, and she replied that she is pregnant. unless i was drunk and don't remember(not even remotely possible since i've never been drunk around her) the child isn't mine( ). well now i have to talk to her about it and the first question that i'm going to ask is if she is still with the father. it may sound stupid but if not, then i will tell her that i want to be in the childs life as a father figure even though i can't be the real father. but there is also the possibility that she is still with the guy. if so then im going to ask her if she has told him about it yet. if not then i'm going to ask why, if so then i'll ask what his opinion is on it and what her opinion is on it. if i hear the word abortion, i'm going to make sure that it's really what she wants, and not just what he wants.

i guess i just need help on what to say, if i should just move on or not, and i would like to know if i'm fu**ed up for actually kind of hoping that he found out and left her

also, irrelivent just want to put it out there while i'm mentioning pregnancy, my babys mother might be pregnant again. unless she's about 4-5 months though (which she would have noticed alot sooner than now if she was) then theres no chance of it being my child. if she is 4-5 months pregnant though, there still only a slim chance of it being mine
i'm going crazy please help by just replying

[Stavvy]

I'm kinda confused about your post.

Is Sarah pregnant, or is Kayla?

[big don mega]

both of them are, but kayla being pregnant is irrelivent

[Stavvy]

Ok.

So, you're concerned that Sarah may have cheated on you, or are you two not together, but you still love her?

[big don mega]

not together, tragically, but i'm in love with her, and not like high school fake love, but i actually want to spend the rest of my life with her, and although i am against the mixture of government and religion, i would actually marry her at the given chance

[Stavvy]

Then what exactly is your problem, besides wanting to be with her, knowing that you can't?

[big don mega]

well the problem is that i really want to be with her and if her baby's father won't man up, then i would be the father figure for that child, but the actual problem that i need help with is how smart of an idea that is, what i will say to her to find out if he did act like man, and i'm sorta wonder people's opinion on the fact that i hope he doesn't man up so i can be in saras and the childs life

[Stavvy]

Is she still with him? Was she ever with him? Does she still want to be with him, if she isn't?

If you can find anyway to be with her, friend or more, doesn't that make you a bit happier? If you truly love her, you'd want her to be happy, even if it isn't with you. Make sense?

Anyway, he's a prick if he doesn't man up to her child. You should try to be the father that you'd like to be.

[big don mega]

Originally Posted by Stavros

Is she still with him? Was she ever with him? Does she still want to be with him, if she isn't?

i don't know the answer to any of the questions. i forgot to mention that i haven't really got the chance to talk to her about it

Originally Posted by Stavros

If you can find anyway to be with her, friend or more, doesn't that make you a bit happier? If you truly love her, you'd want her to be happy, even if it isn't with you. Make sense?

yes it does, but i really don't know if she is happy or not now

Originally Posted by Stavros

Anyway, he's a prick if he doesn't man up to her child. You should try to be the father that you'd like to be.

well if he doesn't man up (which i don't know him so i don't know if he will or not) then i'm going to offer to be in the child's life as much or as little as she wants me to, even though it isn't really my child, i would still treat it like it was



i'm to tired to make sence to even myself, so i think i'm going to be hitting the edit button alot tommorow when i wake up

[Stavvy]

Sounds to me like you should do two things: Ask her if she's truly happy with him, and ask her how much she wants you in her, and her child's life. It's all up to both of you.

Although, you already knew both of those, I'm sure talking helps a little bit.

Get some sleep, we'll talk more in the morning, ok? You could always talk to me on Windows Live Messenger, it's on the left side of my posts, the butterfly.

[big don mega]

well i couldn't even try to get to sleep so i called her and found out that he is going to man up, or well already is doing it not going to, so i guess he isn't a prick. also i found out that she is happy with him. she is going to the doctors to see for sure on friday if she is or not, but she is pretty sure that she's pregnant. i'm not sure how much i'll be in her kids life, but since my kid will only be over a year older than hers if she is pregnant, i'm sure that they'll be friends. also thanks for listening and for the offer to talk to you on windows live messenger but i don't have an account, so i won't be able to talk to you on there

[Stavvy]

Wouldn't be that hard to download it, and my PM's are always open.

Glad that he's going to own up to everything, it's always nice to see that.

If there's still something going on, we can continue.