Is it me or is it me expecting when I shouldn't?

[Snow Candy]

So yeah, I've been kind of depressed and curious at the same time. I mean I'm NOT too depressed to the point I'm gonna kill myself. Anyway, I'm usually a happy person but I don't know, I just feel blah. So yeah, it involves me and friends both in real life and online. Anyway the problem is that whenever I'm around my real friends I notice that I'm the only one caring and or doing things that they appreciate but I don't feel like they appreciate me and if they do, they show it so little especially one of close friends who I call "best friend" and I don't even know why, maybe cuz I'm lonely at school--sometimes. Just school.

Anyway, what I noticed is that I ask something in favor or voice out my opinion but somehow I ended up saying something that sounds wrong or mean but I'm trying NOT to be but I guess some would say it is cuz they don't understand me or don't want to. Anyway, I try to point out in a way with a conversation but somehow it eithier backfiring me or making me look like "What did you just do!?" and I always have to apologize like everythings my fault. I mean I just wish, they considered me more as true friends would. I notice I always care about my friends wether it's calling them when they are out of school because they're sick and checking up on them or trying to help out when they are depressed. You know? But I never really get a "thank you" for them unless somebody else or I notify them.


And another problem is that I realize that I may sound selfish but I don't want to just hold back and not say it, so when I say this, it'll sound silly to some, but I have some online friends whose helped me with problems, my other friends can't help with but I realize they're too busy but when I talk to my other online friend who knows them, it's like they check on them but never me. Have I done something wrong or is it me not checking up on them cuz I do try. I get ignorance and forgotten but the forgotten part is okay, it happens and I understand that. So, there's nothing I can do about it right? It's just me telling you all this silly stuff, right? (Unless you want to tell me there is something, then say so).

I feel like it's always my fault in the end for seeming like expecting something (yeah, I need to stop expecting, it's not healthy, I know) as well as being ignored at same time by both kinds of friends (with exception of few friends, you know who you are) So what should I do? Anybody have any advice? It'd be nice. Am I the one really to blame at times? (Be honest, it helps. Lies NEVER gets to improving onself).

If it's my fault for expecting too much or whatever, I'll take that and improve.



Thanks for reading. Help would be great.

[Dreadnought]

No, it's not your fault for expecting to be thanked. If your friends don't appreciate what you do for them, I would begin to question wheter or not they are really your friends.

[Snow Candy]

Hmm...yeah, some of them are. I only have like few exceptions but most of them seem like it.

[Axel Owns]

definitely NOT your fault.

however most people in this world aren't going to notice and thank what you do for them. that's just kinda life.

And as for always saying sorry, that's just a growing up issue. Maturity will help you understand that you don't have to apoligize for everyting because it ISNT your fault.

[Snow Candy]

Well.....that's good to know. And yeah, I know what you mean. I'm still learning anyhow.

[k.h.master41]

You nvr know, they could really appreciate everything & just don't tell you. But it isn't your fault, your a good friend.

[Snow Candy]

Thanks so much for helping guys, I really needed it and I just wanted to know for sure! :D
I'm glad you took the time to help me and read this!

[Ventus]

Obviously, it's not your fault. Try to get some candies, they help sometimes. Btw, nice avy ^^

[Lycanthrope]

certainly not your fault. just try not to look for the thanks though. just try not getting uptight about it, and see if your friends take notice.. either that, or try not to do stuff for them

[Devious]

I want you to know, sorafan, that every person has their own expectations. My best friend respects what I do and shows it, but he does not return the favor when I go the extra mile to help him out. It's how the person perceives their world. It is possible that your friends either don't realize how hard you are trying, or they expect it as normal due to a high sense of pride or ignorance to your pains.

The best way to let them know is how hard you are trying to be a good friend and how they don't seem to appreciate it. Word it properly before you say it, or else you might blurt out a speech that causes them to hate you. You know your friends better than any of us ever could and so you know how to word it. It will take time.

As for you feeling that you might be to blame. No, there is no blame on your part. A thank you is always welcome and expected from anyone for doing a good deed to another (if not a reward of some kind ). You needn't trouble yourself with thinking that you might be to blame for your friends lack of integrity. As I said before, there are times when a lot of people feel that way and it takes a chat with your friends (with the right words thought out) to straighten it out. Don't talk to them about it when you're angry otherwise you'll worsen the situation. Tone of voice is another way of creating a problem.

Hopefully this suggestion helps. Good luck to you.

[Snow Candy]

Originally Posted by Ventus

Obviously, it's not your fault. Try to get some candies, they help sometimes. Btw, nice avy ^^

Hahahaha.....I love CANDY! XD That's why it's my nickname on here and yeah, pieces of any kind of chocolate helps though my favorites are Twix, Butterfinger, and Snickers. Anyway, thanks, Toshiro rox! XD Oh and of course, thanks for your input, really means alot even it's just a few words.

Originally Posted by Twilight Demon

I want you to know, sorafan, that every person has their own expectations. My best friend respects what I do and shows it, but he does not return the favor when I go the extra mile to help him out. It's how the person perceives their world. It is possible that your friends either don't realize how hard you are trying, or they expect it as normal due to a high sense of pride or ignorance to your pains.

The best way to let them know is how hard you are trying to be a good friend and how they don't seem to appreciate it. Word it properly before you say it, or else you might blurt out a speech that causes them to hate you. You know your friends better than any of us ever could and so you know how to word it. It will take time.

As for you feeling that you might be to blame. No, there is no blame on your part. A thank you is always welcome and expected from anyone for doing a good deed to another (if not a reward of some kind ). You needn't trouble yourself with thinking that you might be to blame for your friends lack of integrity. As I said before, there are times when a lot of people feel that way and it takes a chat with your friends (with the right words thought out) to straighten it out. Don't talk to them about it when you're angry otherwise you'll worsen the situation. Tone of voice is another way of creating a problem.

Hopefully this suggestion helps. Good luck to you.

Wow, that's alot and it's a first time I got something so long on here. Okay maybe not the first but the longer the better you know as they say. It helps. Oh and thank you so much for the advice! :D

[revarai20]

I don't think it's your problem or anything, I think it's that your friends are not noticing this action or anything you've done but if you try and point it out to them and help them. They'll be thankful and thank you and realize how've you feel. Hope this helps.

[Snow Candy]

Hey thanks so much for your input and your advice. It really means alot to me as well. Thanks again!

PROBLEM SOLVED!

CLOSED.