Well, my dad sucks...

[Frozen Fate]

Looking at the title, you would think this is a cliche thing where I'm some punk going "My dad grounded me... I hate him so much" or some crap like that. Trust me, it's not.

Well, my dad and I have always had issues. He has never gone to one of my basketball games in the 10 years I've been playing, not one soccer game, track meet, lacrosse game, not even the year I attempted Little League and hated it. He missed my kindergarten graduation, 8th grae graduation, absolutely nothing. Instead, he either worked through it or slept through it.

Well, a big reason for this is because 35 years ago, he got hooked on smoking weed. And the weed led to things like cocaine, speed, ecstasy, but the big one; crystal meth. I found out about his addictions a few months ago. And the killer was, 5 years ago when he was in the hospital with an "injury" and almost died, it was a work related thing where his thinking was screwed up because of an extreme high. He was in the hospital for a week at that point, and then when he got released, was bedridden for 6 months.

He admitted to everything but the meth back in February. I found out about the meth on my own a few days later, when he asked me to get something rfom his truck and there was a shitload of meth in his backseat.

Well, my parent's are thankfully getting a divorce. I can't stand that man. but that's not the end of it all...

A few weeks ago, I found out the most angering thing about him... he's having an affair. He got a phone call, I walked into the room next to the one he was in. He thought he was alone, and I heard him talking about it with his brother. My dad being the dipshit that he is put the phone on speaker phone, obviously being too high to thnik completely straight since he barely recognized me when i walked in about 15 minutes beforehand. That, and he reeked of meth.

Another issue, my mom doesn't know about the affair. I've been wanting to tell her, but I just can't.

Well, now I can't even hear the word dad without wanting to hit someone in the face. I just can't handle him anymore, and I want absolutely no part in his life. I'm surprisingly handling this alot better than I thought, but I've been careful on who finds out anything. A few close friends know, and my girlfriend knows. But still, I've been crying myself to sleep the past few nights. And now that it's summertime for me, I'll have to see even more of my dad.

[Reflection]

I'm really sorry, wow. That's terrible.

All I can say is try to keep out of the house, hang out with your friends and your girlfriend and just hope everything will work out.

You may want to tell your mom about the affair too. It's not good to keep those kinds of things a secret.

Do you have any siblings or relatives you could talk to?

[Xeno Xombie]

Tell your mom and have her divorce his ass now.

[Shadow Denizen]

Originally Posted by Mythological Omega

Tell your mom and have her divorce his ass now.

Do exactly that. I guess that's all you could do right now, but it fixes the problem, right?

[Glaurung]

Wow. That's just awful....

Originally Posted by Shadow Denizen

I guess that's all you could do right now, but it fixes the problem, right?

Actually, a classmate of mine has a similar problem with his father, and until he reaches a certain age, (I forget what, but it's more than 14) he'll have to switch between both parents if they divorce.

[Duo_forbidden]

I'm really am sorry about the situation you're in. I would say to try to get some help for your father but it could be too late for that. I would tell your mother about the affair. Keeping something like that to yourself is really really not good.

I'll pray for you man.

[Sam]

If your mom is already planning on divorcing him, there's no reason not to tell her about the affair. I'd recommend that you do.

[XxRemnantxX]

What an ass.Yeah. I would tell your mom. If she's getting a divorce anyway, you might as well tell her. She is getting one FOR SURE right? Just in case she starts questioning whether she should or not (like my mom. ) then I would tell her that so it gives her more reason to divorce that bastard. God. What a messed up man. Hope that girl he's having the affair with realizes what she's in for. I wish you the best of luck. Hope all goes well.

[_Nadie_]

Oh man,
I'm so sorry about what you're going through.

I sort of know where you're coming from, though.
My real dad was an alcoholic, had affairs, and missed all of my ballerina recitals.
my mom divorced him 8 years ago.
but you're case sounds worse.

I would say tell your mother, and avoid your dad as much as you can.

PM me, if you want to talk about it more.
I'll help you, if you choose to accept it.

But it's best to talk to other family relatives. My aunt was always there for me, when I went through shit that my dad gave me.

so yeah.

[kazukifafner]

Wow, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I hope your father can learn to change his way with time, but he certainly isn't in a healthy state right now. Getting away from him is definitely best.

A friend of mine at school has similar troubles, so while I can't understand myself what you're going through, I already know how strongly my friend feels when he brings it up, so I imagine it's the same with you.

Best of luck!

[Leonard]

Originally Posted by Son of Sam

If your mom is already planning on divorcing him, there's no reason not to tell her about the affair. I'd recommend that you do.

Exactly my point.

I don't know in what kind of condition your mother is at the moment, though. For example if she's having a lot of problems already with her "husband" and his drug addiction.

It seems to affect you a lot and I don't know if there might be a similar case with your mother.

If she's also having a hard time dealing with that whole situation, is being depressed about it, etc. or something like that, you might want to think twice if it's the right time to tell her something like that now.

Other than that, I'm all for getting that divorce done.

[Frozen Fate]

I have a 6 year old brother though, who turns 7 in July. That's the only reason my parent's didn't get a divorce 7 years ago. And I think it might be 16 when you don't have to switch between parents i think, not completely sure. I know I'm old enough to speak in court though.

I've been spending as much time with my friends and stuff as possible. I have 2 siblings that could help me, but they're younger. I do have a friend who is helping me. He's the closest thing I have to an older brother. He's been there for me ever since I was 4. He got me into lacrosse and everything.

[ViVi94]

Actually, a classmate of mine has a similar problem with his father, and until he reaches a certain age, (I forget what, but it's more than 14) he'll have to switch between both parents if they divorce.

I think if your dad is that screwed up, and you don't want to be a part of his life, then I think you can do something about that. That happened with my mom's friend, she got cut off from her kids completely, but she turned her life around a couple of years later and I'm pretty sure she's getting her kids back. (The kids dad is screwed up too, so now she's the better parent)

[Frozen Fate]

ViVi, even if my dad somehow miraculously turns his life around, I still wouldn't be able to forgive him, let alone look him in the eye.

[Dragonstar1715]

Dammit, and I thought my life was screwed up. The divorce is the most logical solution to take, tell your mom about the affair and hope that things get better. Hanging with your friends is another good idea, if they are your absolute best friends, they will always there to support you no matter what.

If my dad did that, I wouldn't forgive him either period. But do what you think is right, that's the only thing you can really do to try and get the best result from it. My parents are divorced too, so I know what it's like to be torn between parents.

My mum recently got hooked up with a new boyfriend, and I can tell you that he is an absolute ****. We never see eye to eye on things and I doubt that we ever will, but its just a matter of survival and endurance, and hoping that there will always be that light at the end of the tunnel.