Well, my dad sucks...

[Lycanthrope]

Thanks for the support Cal. but every time I try to tell my mom, my mouth just dries up. I just can't find it in myself to tell her.

[snowdog]

Oh, my goodness. D:

There's not a lot more that can be said... but yes, tell your mother. It's something she needs to know. It will be hard, but it has to be done.

Just PM me anytime if you need to talk, FF. I hope everything is okay.

<3 <3

[Victor]

If you can't tell her about the affair physically have her read this thread.
Also, its safer to tell her about the affair then hold it off. Your dad is having sex with two ladies and he's on drugs. Some disease has to come from that.
She can get checked or whatever before it escalates into a very serious form.

[Lycanthrope]

My mom and my dad aren't having sex. i know that much. he's going for the affair. My mom already loathes my dad.

[Dragonstar1715]

Then all the more reason to get the divorce, you mom is the main money earner right?

[Lycanthrope]

Yeah. My dad's out of work right now. He claims he's getting a job, but I highly doubt it. I might even have to leave my school, which I love, because my dad isn't working.

[Victor]

Well, he could have had this affair for a long time when they were still having sex.
It'd still be wise to tell her.

[Thrax]

Hmm...

Really sad story.

I cant feel what you do feel.

My family, especially my dad, has supported me always.

[New2Ya]

As hard as it is for you, your mother needs to know about the affair.

Your father knows for a fact you know about his affair? If so, confront him with it and demand him to speak up to your mother/his wife. If he denies it, doesnt "feel" like telling her, then you tell her.

Thing is, this is a hard situation. Best way would be your father telling it himself. Nothing is worse than telling things that are not 100% your business (it is your business, dont get me wrong, but youre not the one involved, thus its not fully your business) and are the task of someone else really.

However, when thats not an option cuz your dad is too much of a loser, then comes the other horrible scenario.

Your mother blaming you for knowing something and not telling her. Thus my advice to confront her yourself if he doesnt. When youre alone with her, tell her that you want to talk about something very important and want to talk about it whenever she's ready for it.

When she's busy with other things on her mind, she will not be interested in talking about these kind of stuff. Stress and heavy subject are not a good combo. So make sure she's able to handle it.

Now you say you're kind of afraid to tell her. Thing is, there's a really big chance she already knows it (subconsciously maybe even) or feels there's something fishy about him not being around all the time or whatever.

This makes it easier for you, because that means all you do is confirm her worst nightmare. You're not confronting her with one, you're confirming one. She already knows the nightmare, now she just needs to make sure it's there.

Ok, so I gave you a few scenarios and I hope this helps.

No need to be afraid is all I can tell you, as your mother needs to know about this either way. From your father if possible, otherwise from you.

[Lycanthrope]

I just tried to tell her, but I just still can't do it. I generally DON'T freeze up like this, but its been happening in almost every aspect of my life where I just freeze up when I wanna do something.

[marlousmiracle]

Wow some dad he is and today's Father's Day. I can see your hesitant to tell your mom and I understand that but that's a real tough situation there man. I suggest you to tell your mom that he is having an affair.

[ViVi94]

ViVi, even if my dad somehow miraculously turns his life around, I still wouldn't be able to forgive him, let alone look him in the eye.

Yea, I don't blame you either. My moms friend wasn't quite so screwed up, she did a lot of drugs but she still tried as a parent. That's why they can forgive her. But the point is before I started rambling about that is, I think if you really don't want to live with him, you don't have to.

[Lycanthrope]

I know I don't want to live with him. I don't even want to look at him. That's why I'm glad he's a few hundred miles away right now.

[Ziz]

Originally Posted by Frozen Fate

Looking at the title, you would think this is a cliche thing where I'm some punk going "My dad grounded me... I hate him so much" or some crap like that. Trust me, it's not.

Well, my dad and I have always had issues. He has never gone to one of my basketball games in the 10 years I've been playing, not one soccer game, track meet, lacrosse game, not even the year I attempted Little League and hated it. He missed my kindergarten graduation, 8th grae graduation, absolutely nothing. Instead, he either worked through it or slept through it.

Well, a big reason for this is because 35 years ago, he got hooked on smoking weed. And the weed led to things like cocaine, speed, ecstasy, but the big one; crystal meth. I found out about his addictions a few months ago. And the killer was, 5 years ago when he was in the hospital with an "injury" and almost died, it was a work related thing where his thinking was screwed up because of an extreme high. He was in the hospital for a week at that point, and then when he got released, was bedridden for 6 months.

He admitted to everything but the meth back in February. I found out about the meth on my own a few days later, when he asked me to get something rfom his truck and there was a shitload of meth in his backseat.

Well, my parent's are thankfully getting a divorce. I can't stand that man. but that's not the end of it all...

A few weeks ago, I found out the most angering thing about him... he's having an affair. He got a phone call, I walked into the room next to the one he was in. He thought he was alone, and I heard him talking about it with his brother. My dad being the dipshit that he is put the phone on speaker phone, obviously being too high to thnik completely straight since he barely recognized me when i walked in about 15 minutes beforehand. That, and he reeked of meth.

Another issue, my mom doesn't know about the affair. I've been wanting to tell her, but I just can't.

Well, now I can't even hear the word dad without wanting to hit someone in the face. I just can't handle him anymore, and I want absolutely no part in his life. I'm surprisingly handling this alot better than I thought, but I've been careful on who finds out anything. A few close friends know, and my girlfriend knows. But still, I've been crying myself to sleep the past few nights. And now that it's summertime for me, I'll have to see even more of my dad.

Sorry, I would suggest telling her. Sorry about the divorce, hope things can get better for you.

[Amata]

Originally Posted by New2Ya

As hard as it is for you, your mother needs to know about the affair.

Your father knows for a fact you know about his affair? If so, confront him with it and demand him to speak up to your mother/his wife. If he denies it, doesnt "feel" like telling her, then you tell her.

Thing is, this is a hard situation. Best way would be your father telling it himself. Nothing is worse than telling things that are not 100% your business (it is your business, dont get me wrong, but youre not the one involved, thus its not fully your business) and are the task of someone else really.

However, when thats not an option cuz your dad is too much of a loser, then comes the other horrible scenario.

Your mother blaming you for knowing something and not telling her. Thus my advice to confront her yourself if he doesnt. When youre alone with her, tell her that you want to talk about something very important and want to talk about it whenever she's ready for it.

When she's busy with other things on her mind, she will not be interested in talking about these kind of stuff. Stress and heavy subject are not a good combo. So make sure she's able to handle it.

Now you say you're kind of afraid to tell her. Thing is, there's a really big chance she already knows it (subconsciously maybe even) or feels there's something fishy about him not being around all the time or whatever.

This makes it easier for you, because that means all you do is confirm her worst nightmare. You're not confronting her with one, you're confirming one. She already knows the nightmare, now she just needs to make sure it's there.

Ok, so I gave you a few scenarios and I hope this helps.

No need to be afraid is all I can tell you, as your mother needs to know about this either way. From your father if possible, otherwise from you.

That's a terrible situation for you, but I hope you and your mother get through it. All that I could say, though, is what was already said in the quoted post. I understand how hard it is to tell her, all I could really suggest is maybe writing her a letter? That might be a little impersonal, but I always find it's a lot easier to express yourself with written words.