My Series of Conundrums.

[Ð]

So, I just realized something. It came to me as I was sitting in math class today, giving a rather bored look-over of some questions. This would lead into the first of my conundrums.

"I'm bored."

No, not your typical 'sitting in class, almost suffocated by the stale atmosphere and monotonous work...' kind of bored. Rather, it's as if my intellect is begging for something more challenging. Something that actually makes me feel like I want to take it head on. Dear god, someone just give me something that makes me think, on an intellectual level.

I've realized that I get this feeling with almost all my classes. This is in no way exclusive to just Math. I get this whenever I'm in English; When I'm in Social; When I'm in Science; and most of, if not all of, my optional classes. The only two that really makes me think, ( much to my enjoyment, ) is my Computer Programming Class, and my Philosophy class.

Both of the aforementioned classes make me actually feel excited about going. They not only make me think, problem solve and talk, ( like the other monotone classes, ) but they make me do it on a level of intelligence that just makes me ecstatic, and glad to be there. It's a wondrous feeling.

But, the other classes, that usually make up the other five of my six in a day classes. I can't stand them. I can't stand being in the class. I feel so damn suffocated by the work, and it isn't from the difficulty of the work. I feel that way because there's no thought process involved for me. I sit there, and just repeat the answers, ( which I had just heard from the teacher moments ago ) back. And holy crap, I do well when I do this? That shouldn't at all be.

Now, what do I really want? I simply want to do work that's going to make me think. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I want to work, think, and discuss on an intellectual level. I simply can't stand the environment I'm placed in at school.

And because I can't stand it, I almost always have the hardest time getting myself out of bed, and into school. This has been the biggest concern for me with both my parents and teachers. I'm failing most of my classes because of this. My parents and teachers treat me as if I'm nothing more than the 'dunce' kid, and look down at me.

And this leads into the second and third of this series of independent, ( but also loosely connected, as a paradox. )

I rarely socialize with real people, and I generally feel underappreciated. I will sometimes act goofy with some 'friends' at school, ( in the boring classes, ) but after the bell rings to go home, I usually stay at home, rather than hanging out with them. My mother disapproves of this greatly, by the way.

And I actually already know why I don't just kick it with them. They don't interest me on an intellectual level. I may hang out with them during class and school, but I do that because I usually just want to get away from the dull work. You guys have no idea how much I would enjoy a nice stimulating conversation about the philosophical ideals of Aristotle; discussing poetry; having a dialogue about politics.

The only person whom I've found I can discuss such things with on a semi consistent basis is my dad. And even then, it's a very rare occasion. If I manage to have any conversation with anybody, this is usually the highlight of my day.

There is a severe lack of any intellectual thought in real life for me. The only place where I find this is online. This has so far been the only place where I can just IM up one of my friends, and ask him an in-depth question, and get a diverse answer in return. I also really enjoy my job here at KHI on the Inferno, because my job has me creating a universe for our players to go through, and I usually make sure that universe has as much depth as possible.

But, problem is, my mother disapproves of my lack of a real social life. As far as I can tell, she thinks it's as simple 'lol int3rnetz ad****shun'.

And this goes into my feeling of under appreciation. No one in real life sees the 'intelligent' me very often. They see the lazy, class-skipping, loser Denver they've always seen. They've tried once or twice to get me to open up, but what the hell do I say? What do you say to someone who you feel just looks down on you as inferior?

It's just so damn infuriating sometimes.

I'll think I'll stop this here for now. But as a summary for those who tl;dr:

Lack of intelligent work at school making suffocating me.

And...

General lack of social life and under appreciation.

[kazukifafner]

Maybe I'm slow, but I don't see how this fits in the Help and Support board. Why exactly did you post this here?

[Ð]

Originally Posted by kazukifafner

Maybe I'm slow, but I don't see how this fits in the Help and Support board. Why exactly did you post this here?

Maybe you are. Should try rereading it again.

[Sephiros_TH]

start researching something your interested in outside of school on your own time. as for the social life, either make an effort to change it or learn to like the solitude...just avoid isolation.

Well, I find that the more intelligent people I know are on here (sadly). My suggestion is to initiate conversations with anyone, and see what happens.

[aquaVen]

I was like that too, but I decided to branch out and really try to engage conversations with other people. And to my astonishment, it really worked. Now i have many friends and eventually after you get to many people, one or two of them may surprise you with their level of intellect and depth. Hope that helps!

[Darkly Aesthetic]

I wish you went to my school.

._. we'd kick it and talk about philosophy and literature and sh*t.

I can't do that with anybody at school either.

[Dr. Freeman]

Well, I have to say, I think most everyone here has felt this at one point in their life. Most feel it right now. And although I do still feel it, I've learned to just keep going against it is ridiculous. You know you can't win fighting against something that the rest of the world sees as official. Mandatory classes will always be there, and they will always be "blah", because they're basic, they're the classes that politicians believe you need to function in the real world. And to be honest, they're not that wrong.

When you're put into these mandatory classes, you have to realize, that, although it's not a very big wish made by the guys in charge, some of them may in fact be thinking it allows you to realize a different way of going about things you don't like to do. When you're out of school, you'll end up having to do things that don't itnerest you, things you'd much rather do without. Nothing can be available to you all the time that you love, our interests are way too fleeting, we change our minds constantly on what we want, and when we finally get "it", we turn our heads to something else.

My solution is, learn to love it. If you can't stand the way they make you do it, try and look at it a different. Say it differently. Think it differently. Hear it differently. Put a twist on it that you've never seen before.

An example, which kind of baffled my mind when I was a child. I always so 2 + 2 = 4 as the same thing as learning how to spell house. Memorization. But then I realized one day. "Wait wait! 2 + 2 is the same thing as 4, so if I have 4 + 5 = 9, i can have 2 + 2 + 5 = 9, and it would be the same exact thing. Everything can be changed so long as it's the same value! Now, as a child, this broke down how I thought of math completely (though I still find it rather tedious, but that's not the point). Now when I look at an equation, i no longer see it as that memorization I used to see it as, I saw it as an interchangeable number of variables, that I could actually use at my disposal. Looking above and beyond what you've actually been taught.

If you're hurting for something interesting to come out of the things you have to do, don't expect it to fall into your lap. You have to work at trying to change it. When you talk to someone, don't see them as the boring nonintellectual you seem to see them as today. See them as a person, different levels of feeling, emotions, experiences, hinderences. They are the same yourself, like it or not. English, math, history, everything, realize that they are more than the limited aspect you can and do seem them as today. These things do matter, these things are interesting, if you see them in the right light. The only reason they're boring, is because you don't or can't see them in a light that makes them perform a twist. In order for this shit to stop, you have to end up making yourself see it.

But then there comes the difference between making yourself and forcing yourself. Something I picked up from brave New World (hate the society in that book, that's another story entirely though). You have to enjoy what you do, and that society can make you enjoy anything. If they can, why can't you? In order for you to want to get up and go to school, you have to love it. In the end of it all, you have to make thigns interesting for yourself, because no one is going to do it for you.

Sorry I had to cut this short, I'm about to get a haircut. See ya, hope you think about it a little more. Also, what's with the like 7 threads on this?

Edit: Bah, thought I posted this a while ago. Stupid forum

[Sam]

tl;dr

Suicide is your only option.

[kazukifafner]

Originally Posted by D Athier

Maybe you are. Should try rereading it again.

Whoops! Missed that paragraph, lol. Unfortunately, I can't think of much that you could "say" to a person who thinks you are inferior, cause they won't listen to you if they really think that. I guess all you can do is just do the best that you can at whatever task you are given, that could help.

[Raeneth]

Originally Posted by Son of Sam

tl;dr

Suicide is your only option.

^ This advice fits no matter what the problem.


Anywayz, Denavhhh, mai brutha from a canadian mutha, you have to explain this all to someone. Maybe they can place you in accellerated classes where you'll learn things that are interesting. Or maybe you should school in America. We don't teach only classes on "How to be a Mountie" and "How to tap Maple Syrup from any tree" and "Moose and you" and "Stereotypical Canadian Joke."


But srsly, talk to someone about it. What the hell have you got to lose? Your parents already think you're a dunce (your words) so the worse than can think is that you're being your dunce-like self. Maybe get involved in some philosophy clubs or interesting things like that after school.

Also, stop acting like everyone you meet is inferior to me. I mean, yeah, they are, but there are some people you can meet irl who might be as intellectually stimulating as I am. You just have to try :3

I was in a philosophy club in high school. I learned how to throw a frisbee. :3 Best. Club. Evar.

[Electropop]

Research. Do what I do. =/ I study Greek and Egyptain history on the computer. During the summer mostly when I smack myself with a bat. I do that alot during summer. >_>

Or I read. Books are my best friend. I dont usually go out that much..I really dont see the point. And when I am with my friends its for a short amount of time becouse I cant stand how they look at things. I want a real convo. Not.. "THE MUSIC SUCKS"

[bamak93]

Yeah, go for the most rigorous schedule possible. I'm going into Sophomore year as one of the only non-IB people to go for an AP course plus all Honors. So yeah, I'm never bored intellectually. Dead bored entertainment wise, though.

[Cameron]

Learn to dumb yourself down. The world is stupid, you just need to adapt.

[Dr. Freeman]

Also, people who are telling him to do things outside of school that interest him, that won't help the fact that he's bored of school. So the problem persists that way.