awesome story come read!

[Bud Light]

All events recorded in this document are pure historical fact.


The Awesome Adventure of Bud Light


It was an average morning on an average day, of course. Bud Light was just hangan around and chillaxan in his premium hot tub that the President of the United States had granted him only a few months prior the events that take place in this story. Suddenly, Bud Light's solid-gold watch of awesome went off; he was going to be late for school if he wasn't quick!

Leaping up out of the hot tub, he cried, “I am set to give a presentation today in English. I must use whatever time I have left efficiently in order to arrive to my destination upon instructed time!”

Suddenly, Bud Light began to run towards his school, quickly overlapping the bus that had left the stop nearly seven and a fourth minutes ago. However, he accidentally broke the sound barrier due to his amazing speed, and he traveled too fast. Suddenly, he misplaced the position of the earth, and he lost his composure, tumbling forward. From the results of this, he landed in China. He quickly ran back to the United States in time to make English class.


It was time for Bud Light's presentation to begin. His teacher, Mrs.Dumbbitch, called his name. He responded in his usually manly and sexy voice, “But of course I am here. I shall now begin.”

Bud Light's assignment was to write a report on a literary narrative, assigned by the teacher. Though he was assigned a short essay written by one Frederick Douglas, Bud Light instead wrote an autobiography about himself and why he was as awesome as he was. The class, however, was unamused by his incredible story, and began to boo him.

However, the booing soon ceased as half the room exploded from a radioactive shot fired from a nearby alien space ship. “Oh no!” cried Hokage, as he smashed a nearby window with his friend Monkey's head, allowing him to escape unharmed.

Bud Light, realizing the dire situation at hand, flew into the air. He knew that this was another situation where he would be forced to save the world. He quickly took out the rocket launcher that he carried in his back pocket, and fired twelve flaming shark missiles that explode upon impact. However, only half of the alien fleet was destroyed by this.

Again realizing how serious the situation was, Bud Light knew this may be too a tough a battle for just his rocket launcher to solve. He quickly used his MacGuiver skills to prepare a makeshift plane and at least 12,000 spears. He loaded the spears and got aboard the plane, flying towards the alien ships, which were now dropping thousands upon thousands of zombies as well.

Bud Light, whilst still flying the ship, stood on top of the plane and began throwing spears at these enemies of his. The spears quickly grew into meteors as he threw them, destroying large portions of the opponents. A lone ship managed to escape however, as Bud Light began to taunt his victory over the foolish zombie aliens.


The ship that escaped soon flew back into space and into the Great Alien Transportation Vehicle, or GATV for short. In there the failed Zombie Aliens alerted their leader, Sir Bangkok Sam, of their recent failure against the amazing creature who defied all possible imaginations.
Sir Bangkok Sam, outraged by their failure, launched a giant Hydrogen Bomb at the Earth, laughing maniacally all by himself as he realized there would be no way he could fail. He smiled quite faggotorilly as he watched his machine hurtle towards the Earth.


Back on Earth, Bud Light, with his incredibly radioactive wave vision, saw the Hydrogen Bomb plummet towards the Earth. He quickly brought out a giant rubberband and slingshotted the bomb out of the air. It flew back towards the Zombie Aliens, who were so aggravated that they planned to attack Earth in five minutes! Bud Light knew this for he can hear anything that goes on anywhere.

“I must warn the members of the United Nations!” cried Bud Light, flying off at Mach XIII to the United Nations Capitol. He broke in through the ceiling and told them all of the Zombie Aliens of which he needed at least some backup when fighting against. They all agreed, as he was clearly the Savior of the Earth.

The Zombie Aliens soon crash landed on the planet, with Bud Light leading the World Army. He charged into battle on his horse made of steel and plutonium, quickly taking out at least 14,072 zombies with one swing of his hammer made of poison, fire, and bear claws.

However, the humans quickly fell to the zombie invasion because they were very useless and nowhere near as powerful and amazing as Bud Light himself. Realizing this, Bud Light soon grew very weary, since he had in fact been doing all of the work. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an Ox horn, which every great mind carries on him at all times.

With this Ox horn, he played the Song of Summonings, calling forth a mythical being from the sky. Down from the holy heavens came Nocturne, splitting the clouds and the earth as he slowly drifted to the mortal realm.

“Who hath called upon me? Doth thou not realize that I am above this world!?” cried Nocturne.

“Do not fret friend, for it is thy great warrior, Bud Light, who hath summoned you here today. Will thou helpeth me defeat this army of zombies that surroundith us?” returned Bud Light, speaking in Old English as it was the only proper way to address Nocturne.

“I cannot see it fit any other way, my friend,” replied Nocturne, as he positioned himself back-to-back with Bud Light. They both took out their Laser-Gun Nunchuks made of platinum and uranium, killing every Zombie in sight.

Bud Light flew into the air and towards the main ship, where he knew Lord Bangkok Sam was waiting. Lord Bangkok Sam however, was panicking and attempting to escape, or at the very least hide, realizing that the god of mere men was flying towards him at the speed of light. However, Bud Light was far too quick.

Before Bangkok Sam could say a single word, Bud Light charged a kamehameha in his hands before unleashing a deadly FALCON PUNCH as well, creating a deadly move known only as the Falcohame Punch, a technique only once mentioned previously in history. Bangkok Sam was hit full force in the left eye, which ceased to exist upon impact. In mere moments, Lord Bangkok Sam was not even a memory. Bud Light erased his entire existence in time and the universe.

With the world once again saved by Bud Light, the President once again awarded him with a second hot tub, whom Bud Light presented to Nocturne, as Nocturne did seem very stressed and Bud Light believed that it would be all too kind to award Nocturne for his assistance.

“I'm sometimes believe I am too much a giver,” sighed Bud Light. “Give, give, give, that's all I do,” he finished in his low, handsome, manly voice.


THE END

[Bangkok Superpussy]

This story has been approved by Bangkok Superpussy.

[Nocturne]

He smiled quite faggotorilly as he watched his machine hurtle towards the Earth.

You are a genius.

[Johnny Stooge]

tl;dr

i'll just watch the movie

[∞]

[Noich]

can't wait for movie

[Chevalier Sombre]

so am i in the sequel or what

[Pelafina]

This is a pretty excellent story.

10/10 would read again

[Lycanthrope]

Originally Posted by Chevalier Sombre

so am i in the sequel or what

we better be in the sequel this shit is awesome!

[wu tang goku]

eh

[scubasteve]

who the fuck centers their text

[∞]

The Awesome Bud Light, that's who.

[Square Ninja]

Originally Posted by wu tang goku

eh

_________________________________________

[Silh]

didn't read

[Haxon15]

Eh, i looked at it. ill read it later with my photographic memory.