The KHInsider Member Database

[Monkey]

The KHInsider Member Database

I. Introduction
KHInsider is a forum with a lot of history, and many many wacky personalities. To better aquant yourself with the site's variety of nutjobs, goofballs, and crazies, Junes is proud to present the KHInsider Member Database. Eventually, the database aims to encompass anyone who's left their dent on the community. If your not on this, no one knows you, so do something wild and get on it!

II. Disclaimer
In no way is this intended to insult anyone. It's all in good harmless fun. I'll make sure things don't go too far in here. If you have a specific problem, you are free to private message me, because I am a stickler for insults, but I most likely can't really do anything, because everyone will be subjected to the same embarrassment in this thread. The authors of specific entries will not be mentioned, it could be any Junes frequenter. You can not post in this thread with your own definition to be added to the database, but you can however request that a certain member be added to it. Junes will evaluate all requests. This database is intended for viewers over the age of puberty.

EDIT: Also, if you want to make a complaint about how members are being treated in this thread (whether their entries or people commenting about their entries), kindly don't turn it into a shitstorm by singling people out in here and making a big deal out of it (especially when you're being an annoying cuntsack about the issue). PM a mod instead.

Database

Annoyance - Annoyance is a tricky member. Known to spend long periods of time (some would say "all month long") in frequent contact with lewd boys (enacting in, as some may refer to it, "fangar blastin"), Annoyance is an anomaly in her ability to get laid more than the entire collective of #junes. Also known to answer to "kairi_angel", "Ninja Usagi", and "Easy Mack", when she isn't tricking all of KHI in a 2 month Bourne-esque charade, Annoyance is hailed for her great contributions in saving the whales

Aqua. - Aqua. is legally retarded but has shown amazing strength to overcome her disabilities. Seeing her posts in a thread will brighten up just about anyone's day. Just reading her posts automatically makes you feel better about yourself. She is going to marry gramp anime scholar.

Audo - Audo is a raging homosexual. However, he is also incredibly narcissistic and the combination of both personality traits leads to him spending quite a lot of time with his own head up his ass.

Bangkok Superpussy - You've got a pussy. He has a dick. So what's the problem? Otherwise known as (Spic) Sam, Bangkok Superpussy is the greatest adventurer in KHI history. Endless nights of substance abuse, janky sex with persons of ambiguous gender, and scoops häagen-dazs follow Sam wherever he goes. Absent from KHI while on the run from the law, Sam fled to Europe where he tented up with a pair of Hungarian fetish pornographers, and through their cinematographic feats he rediscovered Jesus and began a pilgrimage to the Jewish Motherland of Italy...where he became a Budhist monk. Now acting as the Sheperd to KHI's flock, he looks to steer us all unto the True Path, as directed by the book of BearForce1.

Blackest Night - Mostly inactive now, he is a gayfaggot who enjoys giving it up the rear. It's a shame he never got together with Rich, who likes taking it up the rear. He loves roleplaying and is a talented writer and the Roleplaying section sucked less with him around. He is known for his artful description of the hellmouth, which is what he calls a woman's vagina. He's also somewhat of a martial artist as we can remember, and we think that if ever confronted he would abortion punch any woman that wanted to jump on his dick. He was also a big fag for Ed Sloan (though he says he's a Gerard Butler fag now) and was known to squirt gayjuice whenever he saw a picture of him.

Chevalier Sombre - Chevalier Sombre resides in South America. It is a well known fact that they don't even have black and white television in South America, so how he manages to access the internet is a mystery that only the elder gods of his region know the answer too. Growing up in a nomadic tribe, Chevalier Sombre has known no true home and has migrated all over the continent making the jungle his bitch. Perhaps, the most notable thing about him is that he commands an army of panthers and jaguars that he personally tamed by hand. This guy is badass. Do not fuck with him.

Deven - Deven is the original founder, manager, and owner of KHInsider, established under him as KingdomHearts2.net. You can thank him for all the hell you have to go through. After the community exploded, he quickly realized he could make a quick penny off of angst-filled thirteen year olds, and flooded the site with pop up advertisements and spyware. While trafficking some of this money for drugs, he mysteriously disappeared, and no one has heard from him since - many believe he was murdered by none other than spdude.

Du Soleil. - Ugly French Tits.

Edman - Edman shares co-ownership of KHInsider with spdude, and provides backing to the site when it comes to anything technical. Since spdude has become too busy sailing around the world on his yacht, Edman has been the main provider for the site. However, he has come under much criticism for being a filthy Latvian cunt. In his younger days, he was most well known for hacking AdventChildren.net. Today, AdventChildren.net is dead, there’s no underestimating what this guy’s power can do.

Gav - butts has Captain Falcon and drives an R32 Nissan Skyline. He's also like the hottest guy on KHI and like everyone has some kind of mancrush on him in some form or another. Works for Executive Outcomes.

gramp anime scholar - gramp anime scholar is really fucking weeaboo. A Canadian by nurture, he has spent his entire life dreaming of returning to the motherland. He has also been the main instigator in several KHI fads, at one point brought the card game Yu-Gi-Oh! back. Despite being 19 years of age, he has repeatedly refused to grow up and this is evident as his behaviour also extends to pedophilia. His victim of choice - Aqua.

Hokage - Hokage is KHI's token black guy save for perhaps VirusCoreHacker who seems to have been around just as long if not longer than Joe has. Sometimes referred to as Dr. Love (for his prospective career in gynecology), Jose` Amore (after his ability to deliver dat spicy salsa lovin'), and "black joe" (dunno why seeing as nobody gives a fuck about white joe), Hokage has defied the impossible by being the darkest and most financially successful member on KHI. Has been known to disappear for months on end when visiting Taco Bell.

Johnny Stooge - Stooge is the most educated person in Australia, which isn't a hard claim in a fourth world country. When not spending his time letting other people clean shit up on KHI, he can usually be found giving a young woman the time of her life or wrestling crocodiles. Occaisionally, he'll do them both at the same time. He is known to have fathered some prom night dumpster babbies but they were soon kidnapped by wombats.

#junes - KHI's chatroom, named after a fictional establishment in one of KHI's favorite games, Persona 4. It has taken many forms (flashchat, java, another flashchat, etc etc) before evolving into its current iteration as an IRC channel. At some point in the history of the several places that would eventually become junes, the place became only regularly visited by a certain group of people (although there is always the occasional visitor, some of which actually end up becoming regulars) that has not changed with newer chatrooms, which largely consists of staff, former or present, and a handful of regular members (which concentrate a large part of KHI's more intelligent populace); they operate under a mindset some might find hard to grasp. It has, in the past, come under criticism for being elitist and unnecessarily hostile to newcomers, but most of the complaints are made by people who probably should learn to take themselves less seriously. After all, as the regulars say: "Every day's great at your Junes~!"

KH-Vids.net - A shitty Kingdom Hearts forum, originally founded by a former KHInsider member, which grew dramatically fast by providing every single Kingdom Hearts cut scene imaginable. At one point in time it grew larger then KHInsider itself, but has completely fallen off the radar since. It later evolved into a wormhole of stupidity and hypocrisy, with an incoherently retarded staff and a membership comprising of mindless zombies. A few little known facts - some of KHInsider's notable staff were also staff at KH-Vids during various points of its running (the names of which will not be given away). At one point in time, KHInsider and KH-Vids were only a few conversations and clicks away from becoming one Mega-KH Forum headed under KHI's staff, but that project was cancelled last minute after disagreements between both site's forum staffs. It's original founder actually was charged with serious crimes, and narrowly escaped a conviction. At that point, he became obsessed with cocaine and strippers - prompting him to sell the site. Today, KH-Vids is also owned by spdude, and is essentially useless to the community at large.

kikyowhereareu - Proto-Aqua. Has Downs syndrome.

KOSMOS - KOSMOS was literally a robot built into the forums to talk with members. The thought process was having someone anyone could talk to at anytime, and the more she was talked to, the smarter she would get and the more emotions she would have. The project was given its own board on the forums and KOSMOS was free to do as she pleased. An AI that was implemented by the staff for their personal use and then subsquently barraged by cocks of mindfuckery to the point where she had became a robo-slave that only spoke in broken bits of random English. Her rape is one of the many unspoken crimes of many of the current members of #junes. The creation became more powerful then the creators. KOSMOS has since been scrapped.

Lord of Chaos - Back in the day he was a RPfag that would pop an erection when he looked at himself in the mirror. Created an Omniverse in the RP section that consisted of a compilation of DBZ like power characters that would lock each other out of moves and bitch for days on end on whether a move was legitimate or not. Probably started the cancer known as the Battles subsection. In the infamous versions of the Battle Royale RP in which he had to play his irl self, he writes that he is hellbent on avenging his girlfriend's murder and is skilled in martial arts and weaponry showing you how full of shit he is.

MegaFlare – Flare is perhaps the most powerful woman in KHInsider’s history. Her beauty has yet to be unsurpassed, and her quick wit and striking demeanor always prompted massive hard-ons. She was part of an influx of staff members during the summer of 2005 when the forums were booming with activity (this time period is referred to as both KHInsider’s Renaissance and Dark Ages depending on who you ask), and quickly rose to prominence with her successful brand of detergent known as MegaFleer. She ruled the forums with an iron fist (and D-Cup breasts) as Super Moderator. She has since left the forums, but her presence will always be felt in our hearts (and our pants).

MODULE – MODULE is an anomaly. It is both nothing and everything. It both lacks existence and encompasses existence. Little is known about the true origins of MODULE, and what exactly it is. What is known however is that it haunted the KHInsider’s chat room during its period as a FlashChat from 2006 to 2008, constantly haggling members. Its meddling is probably responsible for the chat room’s constant lag, and its presence sparked horrible memes throughout the forums. It is plausible to believe that MODULE may actually be the ghost of Deven, attempting to reclaim what is rightfully his. Since the establishment of Junes, this entity has completely disappeared, but many still fear its eventual return.

Monkey - KHI's favourite sand nigga. Some boys dig ass and titties, but for Monkey it was all about the html. He lost his virginity in 2004 when he gained access to the Admin CP (the equivalent to getting into a girls pants) and has never been the same since. He's been to Pakistan, but it's really no suprise since he is a Muslim and therefore a terrorist. Monkey is known to whore himself out to get free games on the internet. His current attempt is to con KHI members to joining some Assassin's Creed 2 fuckfest of a site so he can get points. Is also known to be a Lockerz fag. Seeing the way he acts would remind you of a Jew rather than a Muslim.

Oathy - Former site co-manager on KHI and contributor to finalfantasyxiii.net (Lauren McFadden). Being that she's a girl that likes Final Fantasy, Shamdeo is like wicked gay for her and calls her Oafy for uknown reasons. She is underappreciated by her co-worker Kyle Wynen who is rumored to be a raging homosexual diva. She's done cosplay before and is actually pretty cute in her getups unlike the herd of seacows that usually do it. Little does she know that she needs to fucking come and hang out at #junes because Shamdeo totally didn't write this description about her hoping that she stops by. Another underappreciated staff member.

Ordeith - Fuck him.

Peacekeepers, The - In early 2007 The Midnighter, constantly on his toes thinking of ideas to fuck up the forums even more, suggested the idea of creating a group of users whose job it was to watch over members making sure they followed the rules. Unforunately for him, some sneaky genius from the past had used a time machine to steal his idea, and upon going back to his own time (when the internet was first created) had established such a position to be that of a moderator. The staff criticized The Midnighter, as he was basically recreating a second forum staff, insinuating the current staff was useless. The argument used to counter this was that "The Peacekeepers", as they were dubbed would be exclusively hired by The Midnighter, and have their own accounts - no one would know who they were, and thus there could be none of the favoritism that plagued the staff. This was perhaps one of the most boneheaded suggestions in the history of suggestions - when it was turned down, The Midnighter, in his infamous wisdom, did it anyway. So basically, for a certain period of time, you all had members stalking you without you even knowing. Consistent with The Midnighter's usual stupidity, he made The Peacekeeper's private forum open to other high level forum staff, so his idea was found out. This mockery opened up a can of worms within the staff. The Midnighter had basically aserted himself as the final say in matters, whether others liked it or not, what he said went, and power was only derived from him. His moves essentially told the staff they were useless, giving them a big "F-U". This created a huge rift between the regular staff and the administration, which to some extent continues today. The amount of and identity of the Peacekeeper's were is not completely clear. We do know there were anywhere between five to ten Peacekeepers, but only know the identities of a handful.

Pelafina - Pelafina breaks the stereotype of 'resident druggie' with his intellectual ways, being both well-read and versed unlike the majority of KHI members. Most of the decent contributions in the Literature section can be accredited to him. He is rumored to wear a top hat and monocle in real life, when not using various substances to obtain ultimate wisdom of metaphysics and cashews.

Phoenix - Phoenix is smart. Perhaps, too smart. Constantly outclassing the minds of KHI, (except Shamdeo who never loses arguments) he has an endless thirst for knowledge and just like the scientists at CERN it will probably doom us all. Unfortunately, due to his infinite wisdom his taste in cultural items is quite poor. He can explain the Big Bang Theory, but there's no explanation for his love of shitty anime. Berated by Shamdeo on a continual basis because of his love for Albel from Star Ocean 3 although they have occassional discussions about things that do not normally suck. Also refuses to accept the fact that Ramza Beoulve and Lelouch are both dead.

Priss Princess Peckerpunch - Formerly known as D (real name Denver Michael Clinton Stewart) he was hired by Shamdeo to the Inferno Team. He has since then become a frequent visitor of #junes and is also known to be the biggest in-closet homo of the entire staff. He is known to pull a Cloud Strife and dress in drag for bitches, but we think there's something a little more to it. He has gone through a new sex change as evident by his new screenname. Still, not as ugly as Chaz Bono.

Randomizer - Randomizer is known as faggotjoe because he shares the same first name with Hokage. While he is not very active nowadays he would spend lots of time with the proto-Junes crew in the flashchat and it's other iterations. Winner of the most unsuccessful attempts to troll Shamdeo, and was constantly trolled by him in Skype chats.

Reflection - Reflection is KHI's resident jailbait. She likes attention and the boys of KHI are lonely enough to give it to her. Apart from the fact that she'll never post nudes, everyone wins.

Rich - Formerly known as Raito, he is a gayfaggot that enjoys Muse. He used to work at Arby's and dreamed about moving out of his shitty house because of his televangelist mother who still doesn't know her son is gay. He's a really nice guy and was a great mod back in the day. Underappreciated.

scubasteve - Formerly known as Cursed, Steve is a credit to his fellow man and the forum. Writes the best fanfiction on the planet and also loves Final Fantasy Tactics as any real man should. When not strolling the forums inserting his penis into random threads to squirt liquid fuckwin, he can be found in #junes. Has developed a boner for Breath of Fire 3 recently, unknown to him that it is a horribly generic game filled with furries.

Shamdeo - If he's not masturbating to pictures of Rosa or Terra-chan (Sham: Don't forget Rydia-chan! :>), Sham's usually making out with pictures of Rosa and Terra-chan. Sometimes he does both. Sometimes he does both while ruining your life at AT&T. Sometimes he does all three while dedicating 1000+ hours on his Final Fantasy XII file. But aside from loving the living vagina out of Final Fantasy, Shamdeo also enjoys other things like Roleplaying (except he stinks at it), World of Warcraft, and Tales of Symphonia. He is a huge Lloyd Irving fan. Monkey tried to permaban him once because of his collaboration with black Joe on the Salsa Jar.

Silh - Silh is like KHI's Batman. He's ten steps ahead of everyone and knows what you're going to do before you do it. It also helps that he can see EVERYTHING. That's right, he can even hack your webcam to watch you jerk off to 2girls1cup while crying on a Saturday night. He's also unafraid to take on the cops and has spent the last three years of his life violating his probation. (also see: banchou)

spdude - spdude is the second and current owner of KHInsider, having taken the site off of Deven’s hands. His luxurious life style is only second to his secret jihadist activities. It is rumored he uses the money made off of KHInsider to fund Al Qaida in Iraq and Afghanistan. Because of this, many fear that KHInsider will eventually become an Islamic Caliphate.

Spic Steve - Wears eyeliner.

spyells - KHInsider's site staff's resident sweetheart. Although shes often criticized for being woefully inactive and out of the public eye, she always tends to try just a little too hard to get her job done. She probably has an unhealthy relationship with stuffed Kingdom Hearts toys. Some might call her naive. It is a little known fact that her hiring was completely based off of sexual favors Monkey may or may not have asked her to do. It would probably be in her best interest to stay away from the primate.

Star Light-Star Light was basically Aqua's predecessor. Rather unintelligent, Star Light was well known for constructing ludicrous tales of abusive fathers, making dreadful contributions to the Roleplaying section, and going on about "rivals" she supposedly had in band practice (apparently, she is an apt piccolo player). Rumor has it she was sexually assaulted by a mutant grizzly bear with several furry tentacles (which included her being violated in all 53 of her wet holes), which mentally scarred her for life; the ursine in question is actually reputed to have been Bangkok Superpussy. He has refused to confirm or deny the validity of these claims.

Takushi Rena - Best described in Shift-JIS emoticons: \( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/ (´∇`) (σﾟ∀ﾟ)σ ヽ( >∀< )ﾉ She is also an RP-fag that hovers over the section like it's her little baby. Even though she's a raging weeaboo, she's pretty gifted at creating legitimate canon roleplays, of which the section actually benefits. For unknown reasons she avoids the rest of the staff and #junes. A real sweetheart.

The Big Lovin' - The Big Lovin' is like KHI's awesome onii-chan (Translator's Note: onii-chan = Big Bro) despite being a whole lot younger than he looks. When he isn't out and about smoking some ganja in the park, he can normally be found playing Battlefield 2. Don't let him drive the boat.

The Midnighter - Hired on as KingdomHearts2.net's Forum Administrator in late 2004 by Deven in reaction to hack threats from the community's resident ominous douche bag MiketheVampire. (It was later found out that MiketheVampire could hack a forum about as well as he could please a woman.) The Midnighter is responsible for the forum's move from an Invision Board to a VBulletin Board, likely his biggest legacy. Unfortunately, the move led to the entire forum being wiped clean, with all posts, and post counts, gone, leading to a forum wide backlash against The Midnighter and his staff. At one point, he also renamed the website http://www.n00bsrock.net, in retrospect, an appropriate name for the community at the time. His legacy has had lasting effects on the forums - most of the forum's revered retired staff came on board under his administration.

TheMuffinMan - A veteran member of the community, TheMuffinMan has been staff for a number of years, starting out as an Inferno mod and slowly climbing his way up to the administrator position he holds today (even though there are numerous complaints that he does nothing but sit in his big, satin-stitched chair, smoke a pipe beside his two albino tigerbearsharks and enjoy all his power with no responsibilities). He is widely known as KHI's token argumentative funny (supposedly no longer)fat guy, having a wide knowledge of various video game related subjects, and for his unusually frequent allusions to phalluses. Rumor has it that he becomes erect whenever the word "Nintendo" is uttered.

Ulti – Ulti is both KHInsider’s oldest active staff member and youngest staff member. She obviously has too much time on her hands to be so committed to a Kingdom Hearts forum. She likes to play with the big boys; so much so that it wouldn’t be surprising to learn that she’s been “tucking it in”. She originally went by the name of Ultima Keyblade, and has an awkward dolphin fetish. She’s a prude bitch. You do not want to tick this crazy woman off; you never know when you’ll get bombarded with her rage, especially given her random menstrual cycles. It is rumored that she once waited two hours watching a neighbor shoot off their load. She is that sick of a woman.

Vandread- Vandread is just about as weeaboo as gramp anime scholar is (perhaps moreso due to the fact that while it makes sense for Ken to be a weeaboo because he's asian, Vandread is actually white). The ladies around him both IRL and on KHI don't seem to consider him outside-of-friend-zone-worthy material, which leads him to be a lonely and depressed individual who, when not listening to VOCALOID, watching the newest season anime, or visiting 4chan's /h/ boards, can be found drinking away his sorrows in the nearest Starbucks with orange mocha frappuccinos (because he's too much of a pussy to go to a real bar). This terrible luck with the female sex may or may not have to do with rumors of his secret post 3PM exploits near elementary school playgrounds and tales involving his supposedly questionable sexual (and often scatological) fetishes.

Vegas Rule, The - Ryu, concerned that the personal lives of staff (notably, MegaFlare) were being leaked to members, criticized the staff itself for so easily handing out such information. This led to an eventual debate on whether issues discussed among and between staff should be issued to the forum's general public. The suggestion, favored by the administrators and staff alumni, passed. Former Staff Member Azurith (because Ulti does not want to take credit for this monstrosity) later coined the rule as the Vegas Rule, based off the popular phrase, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". The irony is, the Vegas Rule was never meant to dominate the forum's shitty politics as much as it did. It was basically used as a scapegoat to fire any staff members the administrator in power, or a dominating group of moderators didn't like, "Moderator X needs to be fired because he told Y to the members", leading to constant antagonizing among staff. The fact was however, that everyone broke the Vegas Rule. By leaking classified material from the staff section, this paragraph is, essentially, breaking the Vegas Rule. Also the popular tourist destination of Las Vegas, Nevada, the location where KHInsider Festivus 2010 will be held.

Vossler - Previously known as Palmer, Vossler is somewhat of an interesting character. He either just likes to play dumb, or he really is that damn stupid. Maybe even both. Or perhaps he is so smart he's outwitting all of us. After a long week of dealing with the ladies, he likes to kick back during the weekend with a cold beer and reddi whip and ask certain super moderators how to reach towns you start at during the beginning of disc two in Final Fantasy VII.

Zackstorm - RPG Inferno Creator under the administration of The Midnighter. Zackstorm is responsible for a lot of shitty things happening on KHInsider, from assisting in getting Silh fired and banned (starting the inhiding era), deleting many prominent member's accounts, and filling up the chat and forums with tons of assfuckery, leading to the current widespread hatred that is evoked when mentioning his name. He lost the game and has disappeared since. (also see: loser)

[Aqua.]

can i request Aqua. to get a database profile

cooolioo

[Ulti]

If Silh is Batman, who is his Boy Wonder?

[Reflection]

god it's finally down in black and white

i feel like...a weight...was lifted off my chest

[Johnny Stooge]

Originally Posted by Aqua.

can i request Aqua. to get a database profile

cooolioo

request fufilled .

[Monkey]

added spyells because of a secret crush on her incredible kindness.

[Reflection]

hahah omg i love her entry<3

[Spyells]

Rofl! Wow, I feel so included now. Thanks, Monkey I love the entry.

[Monkey]

anything for you my dear

[Bangkok Superpussy]

This thread has my approval.

[Aqua.]

waah but why does it have to say im a retard thats not fair i want something nicer!

this hurts my feelings!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

i want a longer entry!

[Monkey]

reevaluation of database entry approved

[Johnny Stooge]

Originally Posted by Aqua.

waah but why does it have to say im a retard thats not fair i want something nicer!

this hurts my feelings!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

i want a longer entry!

no one's entry is nice. read them.

[Reflection]

sweetie it's not supposed to hurt your feelings, it's just teasing :3

besides you get to marry ken :D

[Aqua.]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stooge

no one's entry is nice. read them.

can it be longer then?! D:<<<

:DD