george bush liberty fanfiction

[wu tang goku]

well sports fans (thats what i'm calling you now) #junes has recently had the hot topic of gay fanfiction as the fat to be chewed and i happen to have a collection of some of the greatest fanfictions ever conceived and/or created by man and/or beast. this is kind of long, but it's worth it! I DID NOT WRITE THIS NOR DO I TAKE CREDIT I simply preserved it in my national fanfic registry...

enjoy!

George Bush Fanfiction
by Chef Boyardee

This isn't just a story, this is an epic. This is the tale of a warrior who stood strong, stood proudly during the strongest adversity. This is the tale of a man who, like a wall, held his ground throughout the pain, who fled not in fear when he heard the beating of the drums, who battled tooth and nail for victory, for liberty, and above all, for freedom. Some men strive to be like this crusader. Some men strive to walk in his footsteps. But nobody strives to surpass this man for to do that would not only dishonor his sacrosanct name, but it would in fact be impossible. This is the tale of a story whose name is synonymous with vanquisher, with LEADER. This is the tale of George Walker Bush.

He stood tall and proud, like a redwood amongst the brush, his body hardened from years enslavement in the windswept deserts of the barren planet Ankenh'rah. His muscles were firm, tight against his bare skin which glistened from the sweat of his toiling in the sandworm pits digging for mithril. His fists were clenched tightly around his primitive pick-axe and he swung it heavily but meticulously, his steady rhythm the tempo for the other workers to keep with. He propped his pick-axe against the wall and inhaled deeply, his large chest rising as his massive lungs took in what little air there was to be had in this underground cesspit of death, misery, and commerce.

"Bush!" One of the Orc guards grunted at him from a few feet away, wise to keep his distance from the behemoth. "George Bush - ugthol graza'kh hugar bagrub'hath. Work harder!"

The Orcs were the overseers of the sandworm pit. They beat the slaves when they weren't working hard enough and watched the others toil as they laughed in their deep, Orcish grunt. In reality, they were little more than slaves themselves; they were selected by the High Priest Amonankhshehapsut to act as his army and protectors because of their physical stature and tendency towards brutality, exactly what the High Priest needed to keep the slaves subjugated. But there was one slave he underestimated.

"Bush, I said work harder!" The Orc gained confidence and moved closer to George Bush, "You not workin' hard enough!" He backhanded Bush across the face, knocking the large man to the ground. Bush spat blood as he hit the dusty floor; his face had been cut against a jagged rock of mithril and he wiped the viscuous crimson from his cheek.

"You son of a bitch," he muttered under his breath. The orc chuckled as he was walking away but managed to catch Bush's curse from under his breath. He grunted and moved closer, his anger quickly bubbling to the surface. Orcs were stupid creatures, irrational, quick to anger, and unthinking, a volatile combination that often errupted into the extremely brutal beating of the slaves.

"What you say?" The heavily armored Orc stammered as he drew closer to George Bush. George grinned and looked up at the Orc, standing at his full stature. George was taller and in better shape. The Orc's flabby and celulite-ridden body would have been an almost comical juxtaposition with George's rock solid body, muscles almost bursting from the flesh, had the situation not been dire. "I said 'you son of a bitch'." George repeatedly slowly and loudly. By now the other slaves had realized that something was going on and had gathered around the Orc and George Bush.

"Stupid human, you not say that to servant of the High Priest!" Orcs didn't say High Priest Amonankhshehapsut's name because most were generally too stupid to pronounce it. George smiled again and hefted his rudamentary pick-axe from the wall, hoisting it with both hands. "Oh yeah?" He smirked, "You're not going to be much more than a sack of blood and flesh in a minute!"

George took the first swing, flinging his makeshift axe through the air towards the Orc. The Orc was taken by surprise at the strength of the blow but managed to evade, pulling out his rusted axe from his belt. He slammed into George, knocking them both off balance against the wall and scraped his ivory tusks against Bush's face. The Orc's breath was enough to make Bush vomit and he grimaced as he held back the bile in his throat but he pushed the orc away. He stammered into the crowd, circling the fight shouting cheers and making bets with one another.

By now some of the other Orcs had noticed the ruckus and rushed over, breaking into the ring. By the time they got there, the original Orc had been reduced to bloody ribbons and if he was still alive, he no longer showed signs. A dozen Orcs surrounded Bush and began to beat him, their talons and fists pounding into the proud man's body. He took one last swing at the mob, throwing back one of his assailants before he hit the ground...

Bush awoke in his jail cell, his feet and hands manacled to the wall. He was covered in blood and bruises but the knowledge that he had killed two of Amonankhshehapsut's minions made him smile. Also in the cell was another of the slaves, a man most knew as Jandor.

"You really gave those Orcs a walloping today, huh?" Jandor gave George Bush a wide grin, flashing his toothless, blackened gums to the disgusted warrior. Bush nodded and sat up, his back propped against the sturdy cell wall. He spat blood onto the ground.

"Freedom..." He muttered. Jandor looked up at him questioningly. He was a small, nervous man with a long, pointed nose that most people considered rat-like. His eyes wandered furtively through the shadows, as if he was constantly afraid that someone would jump out and kill him while nobody was looking. Perhaps they would. "What did you say?" He asked Bush. Bush spat again and said, "give me my guitar,". Jandor nodded and went to the corner of the cell, grabbing George Bush's electric guitar and plugging it into the amp. He handed it to him.

Bush immediately began pumping out heavy metal riffs, his dexterous fingers caressing the vibrating nylon strings. The guitar screeched as Bush created a literal wall of pure sound that could be heard throughout the cells. He fell to his knees as his solo drew on, his guitar exuding pure heavy metal. Jandor interrupted his musical brilliance, "Why do you play that shit? The heavy metal?"

"Heavy metal?" Bush looked up at him, "Why do I play heavy metal?" Bush grinned a little bit and looked down at his guitar. Although his fingers were bloody and ragged, he played anyway despite the pain. "I play heavy metal because it's in my blood. Because my father played it, and his father, and his father, and his father. I play heavy metal because it brings me back to my home planet, Xza'merica II. I play heavy metal," Bush said, "because sometimes it's all I've got to keep me alive." There was silence in the cell for a moment as the weight of Bush's words sunk into Jandor.

Jandor nodded at Bush not quite understanding, but appreciating all the same. "I uh... I hear they're going to kill..." He gulped, he knew his news would hurt Bush, "They're going to kill... all of the humans... They're going to replace us with... Zorkian slaves. They're stronger, harder workers the Orcs say... Not as rambunctious..." Bush was silent. "G-George?" Jandor questioned, "Bush, you with me? They're gonna kill all... all the human slaves..."

Bush sat silent and unmoving, like a giant marble statue stuck in infinite contemplation. His only sign of movement was his slow, methodical breathing as he remained in his torpor for a few moments. Jandor tried to awake Bush from his trance but his attempts were futile. But then Bush slowly got up, his heavy arms wrenching the manacles off of the ground, ripping himself out of his shackles. "Freedom..." he muttered again under his breath. Bush walked towards the bars of his jail cell and began pulling them apart.

http://chef.avalanchestudios.net/02-...the%20Orcs.mp3

"George, no... You're gonna... You're gonna get us killed early!" Jandor shouted at him. Bush continued to pull the bars apart, their creaking and moaning resounding throughout the entire jail. Finally the bars had broken apart and Bush walked out of the cell, "Good. Better to die fighting than to die a coward."

The alarms went off and Orcs began swarming the hallways towards Bush. Suddenly he was immersed in a sea of his green captors and he beat through them, cutting a deadly swathe through their ranks. George Bush had transcended all pain and flaw, he had entered a euphoric state of tranquil berserking, in which no warrior could be felled. He thrust his arm forward at an Orc rushing towards him and caught his neck, clenching it until the Orc's head literally exploded. The Orc dropped a shining battle axe and he picked it up, cutting through the Orcs as he made his way towards the exit of the cell.

Suddenly an insane guitar riff resounded through the tidal wave of orcs, knocking them back and flinging them backwards through the hallway. A mysterious guitarist slammed through the crowd of Orcs with two guitars, one in his hands and one on his back, both shaped like axes and both covered in the blood of their enemies. Bush recognized the man immediately as Justin Hagberg, lead guitarist of the heavy metal band 3 Inches of Blood. "Bush, it's me, Justin. I'm here to bust some riffs and defeat the evil High Priest Amonankhshehapsut once and for all!" He tossed Bush a guitar and they began riffing together so violently and insanely that the orcs vaporized into a literal tsunami of blood.

"ENEMIES OF METAL, YOUR DEATH IS OUR REWARD!" Bush shouted as he fell to his knee playing a wicked solo on his battle axe guitar. "Quick Bush, this way!" Justin pointed upwards towards the jail door. Bush nodded and the two warriors of metal ran through, leaving behind them a trail of death and destruction never before seen. Prisoners shouted and broke free from their jail cells, rioting through the hallways of Amonankhshehapsut's palace.

http://www.3inchesofblood.com/shared...ners-final.mp3

Amonankhshehapsut looked out a window from atop his obsidian pyramid and frowned as he heard the carnage ensuing downstairs. He would have to hire new guards, he thought to himself, perhaps Zalkorians or even Valgrondians, although that would set him back quite a bit and he would have to spend an extra year on this dreadful wasteland of a planet. He stroked his chin methodically as he picked up his snake-shaped guitar and strummed a few chords. Yes, he still had it, he could still rock harder than any metal-head alive. After all, he had stolen the souls of every member of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. He would outrock the slave rebellion once and for all.

Bush and Jason slammed through Amonankhshehapsut's door and saw him gazing out the window at the windswept sands of Ankenh'rah, the desert planet. He turned around and smiled, his snake guitar in his hands. "George Bush, I knew you would come." Amonankhshehapsut was large and obsidian, shaped like a jackal. While most considered George Bush to be a large man, Amonankhshehapsut easily towered over him.

"You son of a bitch!" George Bush yelled, "LET MY PEOPLE GO!" His muscles bulged from the ferocity of his unearthly scream and every vein was visible on his powerful body. The High Priest laughed at him and picked up his guitar. "Heh, George Bush... You had to go and ruin everything for me, didn't you? I was this close to conquering the galaxy but you had to ruin everything and set me back a few years. No, I won't just kill you," he said, "No. I have something far greater in mind." He hefted his guitar into his hand and began to run his fingers over the strings, emitting a ferociously heavy guitar riff.

"Bush, stay back!" Justin shouted as he picked up his guitar and began to counter Amonankhshehapsut's riff. His fingers strained over his strings as he sped up, going faster and faster, each riff and note getting more and more insane. But even his guitar mastery wasn't enough for the High Priest and he was knocked backwards against the wall as he struggled to outrock Amonankhshehapsut. "N-no..." He muttered, "This can't... This can't be happening." Justin closed his eyes and everything began to fade away...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bush's roar caused tremors throughout the entire galaxy and he hefted his 12-stringed war guitar into his hands, playing the sickest, most insane riff known to man. Before High Priest Amonankhshehapsut even had a chance to pump up his guitar solo he began crumbling to pieces, his massive obsidian body falling to dust. "LET MY PEOPLE GO!" Bush shouted again as his solo intesified, going harder and harder, faster and faster until it became so fast that it created a solid beam of light so intense, so powerful, that it completely annihilated the dying Amonankhshehapsut.

Bush fell to his knees as the fallen High Priest's pyramid began to shake. With the death of Amonankhshehapsut, the stability of massive fortress was compromised and the Egyptian structure began to collapse. "Liberty," Bush whispered, completely sapped of his strength from the intense guitar solo, "maybe now... my people... will know liberty."

It is not known whether George Bush ever made it out of High Priest Amonankhshehapsut's pyramid but what is known is that he is the father of liberty and Democracy. Don't be fooled by others' stories of George Bush, this is the true account of what happened. George Bush died more than just a man, more than just a warrior or guitar player. He died a hero. A hero to more than just the slaves, but a hero for the causes of righteousness and freedom. George Bush died so that we could live in the peace and tranquillity that we know today.

Although some say that the story didn't end at that pyramid. Some people say that if you listen closely out in the desert of Ankenh'rah, you can still hear the wailing guitar of George Bush as he slaughters the Orcish demons of his past. But nobody really knows the truth. Nobody but George Bush himself.

[RTP49]

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