Those Who Reject Creation

[Dawning Twilight]

well here's Salix II the sequel to Salix I. this should be a good chapter it covers what happened very briefly after Salix I and who amongst the Salix I group died during that area. hope it is enjoyed. as always comments and questions are accepted ^^

Chapter 1: Graves of the Fallen

The winds howled through the world of the Exiled as dirt was blown around in every direction. The dark world was the new base for the Exiled Order. After the destruction and chaos that had been caused by the betrayal of Daxic. Salix had created the new world in repentance for the crimes he had committed. Although not completely forgiven Salix was allowed to return to the Exiled, with eyes watching nearly all the time. The only reason he had been allowed to return was due to the reasons he had joined Daxic in the first place. He was clearly not a real traitor in the eyes of the new leaders of the Exiled Order, both Xodyc and Zixan. Slowly a portal opened on the seemingly desolate world of the Exiled as a man in a deep sky-blue cloak walked out. The portal behind him slowly vanished as he walked forward through the winds and dirt blowing across the world. After walking a short distance from where he had appeared his gaze turned to the ground. The man slowly sat down as he continued to stare down his gaze locked on something hidden beneath the blowing dirt.

“So you bit the dust huh,” the man said. “Oh well, you’ll be happier away from this life. I doubt he would have found a way to help you anyways.”

As the dirt blew wildly around the man as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bottle full of water. Slowly the man took a sip and then poured a good portion of it onto the ground that he had been staring at previously. The wind as if reacting to the man’s actions stopped and cleared away revealing several chains lying on the ground next to a small tablet with the name labeled “Lonex”. Slowly the man stared up at the sky. The look in the man’s eyes gave off the impression that he was looking for something that wasn’t there.

“Man, this is such a pain in the ass,” the man said as he took another sip of the water and poured the remains onto Lonex’s grave.

“There you are, I was wondering where you’d gone off to, Xishn,” a voice said as another portal opened up and another man in a deep sky-blue cloak appeared behind the Exiled Order member known as Xishn.

The second man walked over as he stared down at Lonex’s grave and then turned his gaze back to Xishn who was sitting on the ground.

“So tell me, why do you visit here so often? Are you that bored,” the second man asked sounding almost smart-alecky.

“It’s not that. It’s just. I’m getting, tired of this…,” Xishn replied his eyes appearing almost empty for a second.

“I see. I’d feel sorry for you. That is if I had a heart to feel such an emotion,” second man said.

“No point in doing such a thing, it’d be impossible for us to ever feel that way,” Xishn replied.

“Maybe so, regardless we have other things to do you mustn’t forget that,” the second man stated.

“I haven’t forgotten, Salix. So what’s on the agenda for today,” Xishn asked as he stood up and turned to face his superior.

“Xodyc wanted to speak with us. Come, we mustn’t be late,” Salix said as he turned and created a portal in front of himself.

Salix walked forward as he entered the portal. Xishn turned back taking one last glance at the grave of Lonex and turned back towards the portal. Xishn threw the bottle into the air as he entered the portal and it vanished. The bottle seemed to twirl in slow motion before it landed on the ground next to the chains and tablet with Lonex’s name on it. The wind blew slightly as the dirt blew up from the ground revealing weapons from all the other dead Exiled Order members lying both near and far from the fallen number 24, Lonex.




well i hope the first chapter of Salix II was enjoyed. in the second chapter of Salix II the Exiled Order talks to the remaining Salix I group members about a dangerous threat. as a group of seven very powerful beings approaches the Exiled Order seeking the dish best served cold................revenge...

Chapter 2: The Created

[Xodyc]

short chapter DT but a good one none the less

[Dawning Twilight]

Originally Posted by Xodyc

short chapter DT but a good one none the less

thanks and yeah i wanted to keep the first one a bit short but don't worry the next one will be normal size 3 pages word document sized ^^

[Xodyc]

ok looking forward to it man

[Haku]

Awesome start so far, I look forward to reading the others.

[Dr. Freeman]

Could you seperate the paragraphs so it's easier to read?

[Dawning Twilight]

Originally Posted by Time

Could you seperate the paragraphs so it's easier to read?

you mean like space in between each paragraph and quote?

EDIT:
kinda like how it is now?

You seem to have the common problem of writing short, choppy sentences. Commas are your friend.

The man slowly sat down as he continued to stare down his gaze locked on something hidden beneath the blowing dirt.

You have to be pretty badass to stare down your own gaze.

“So tell me, why do you visit here so often? Are you that bored,” the second man asked sounding almost smart-alecky.

As are question marks.

I haven’t forgotten, Salix. So what’s on the agenda for today,” Xishn asked as he stood up and turned to face his superior.

Really. They don't bite.

[Dawning Twilight]

Originally Posted by Dawning Kensei

You seem to have the common problem of writing short, choppy sentences. Commas are your friend.

sorry about that i never was good with editing especially with anything involving grammar. T_T i will try my best in the future but i'm not good with that i apologize for you having to read through that. ^^;;;

Originally Posted by Dawning Kensei

You have to be pretty badass to stare down your own gaze.

i suppose i should have put it something more like this. it wasn't meant to have the same motion twice.

The man slowly sat down as he continued to stare down. His gaze locked on something hidden beneath the blowing dirt.

Originally Posted by Dawning Kensei

As are question marks.

i'm not sure i understand?

Originally Posted by Dawning Kensei

Really. They don't bite.

i'm not sure i understand again...

i'm sorry could i ask you to explain please...

[Xodyc]

DT i think the person means use question marks
like: Are you that bored, being: Are you that bored?

[Dawning Twilight]

“So tell me, why do you visit here so often? Are you that bored?,” the second man asked sounding almost smart-alecky?

which of the two bolded question mark places?

The first .

[Dawning Twilight]

ah i wasn't aware you could do that. can you do the same with a period to? or is it just ," every time? sorry i'm pretty bad at that stuff.

[Sonja~Soulheart]

awesome chapter :3 (late reply sorry == ; ) loking forward to chapter 2

[Mastermind]

I liked it. It was nice and slow.