Connecting Hearts

Athel · 11/15/07, 10:53 PM

A Kingdom Hearts-ish fan fic, and my first...ever! Cnc, please.

---------------

Chapter One

The cold morning breeze made Sosh pull his hood closer over his face. He didn't really know why he woke up this early, except that he enjoyed seeing the sun rise. He felt good knowing that a new day was about to begin.

"Cold this morning" he said to no one. He knew that no one else would be up this early.

He inhaled the cold morning air. He felt revitalized, and knew it was the right choice to see this. The sun slowly came up over the horizon, covering everything in a pale light.

"It's a new day" he said as he walked back towards his house.

*****

"I'm disappointed. Such a strong hearted world, with such weak hearted individuals."

A dark figure looked down at the images displayed to him.

"No matter. Being inhabited by beings with such weak hearts, the Heartless will take it over easily."

He raised his hands into the air as the Heartless were called to that world.

*****

Sosh walked slowly with his backpack slung over his left shoulder.

"Stupid homework" he muttered to himself.

He was about to open the door to his house when he heard something strange.

Wait! The time is soon...

"Who said that?" Sosh said, startled. "Where are you?"

Follow the music. All shall be explained.

"What music?" Sosh said. Then, he began to hear a soft humming. It seemed to drown out all other sound. "What the?" He slowly began to walk along the beach, mesmerized.

Soon enough, he reached a small crown shaped glyph sketched out onto the rock surface. He tapped the glyph with his fist. At first nothing happened. Then, the different sections of the glyph began to glow. The light became so blinding that it engulfed Sosh whole...

End Chapter One

---------------

Wow, it seemed a lot longer on paper!
Am I going a little too fast?

**Ban Mido** · 11/15/07, 10:58 PM

As first chapters go, It's alright. You might want to brainstorm a little before you start chapter two. Its well done though, and I like the story, even if it can use some more detail and is a little vague at the moment.

I'm sure you can do better pie! I'm looking forward to more!:thumbup:

Athel · 11/15/07, 11:00 PM

Phew.
Thanks Allstar. I have 40% of the plot worked out for now, so I think that chapter two will be better.

Dantés de Divinity · 11/15/07, 11:03 PM

Well done dude. Work on the length and don't be afraid of waiting a week or so before you post it. The best writers wait years before they finish a book and weeks for a chapter. I know I do.lol. Make sure you like what you have write'n dude. Can't wait for what for the next chapter I want to see where this is going. ^_^
bowchickawowwow

**Nelo Angelo** · 11/15/07, 11:05 PM

hey not a bad start. as allstar said, few brainstormin and take your time. it'll turn out great.

Athel · 11/15/07, 11:06 PM

Wow, thanks Xikem.
I got it, Nelo. Brainstorm I shall.

shadow_heartless · 11/16/07, 12:40 AM

Kewl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NazoFire · 11/16/07, 01:19 AM

Cool. Can't wait for chapter two. hmhm.

**Haku** · 11/16/07, 01:38 AM

Not bad at all, I look forward into reading the next one.

Athel · 11/16/07, 01:56 AM

Wow, my fan fic gets a compliment from Haku!
I feel special....*tears of joy*

11/15/07, 10:53 PM	#1
Athel The Golden Hero Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Off somewhere, doing heroic stuff Age: 14 Posts: 1,085 Rep Power: 6	Connecting Hearts A Kingdom Hearts-ish fan fic, and my first...ever! Cnc, please. --------------- Chapter One The cold morning breeze made Sosh pull his hood closer over his face. He didn't really know why he woke up this early, except that he enjoyed seeing the sun rise. He felt good knowing that a new day was about to begin. "Cold this morning" he said to no one. He knew that no one else would be up this early. He inhaled the cold morning air. He felt revitalized, and knew it was the right choice to see this. The sun slowly came up over the horizon, covering everything in a pale light. "It's a new day" he said as he walked back towards his house. *** "I'm disappointed. Such a strong hearted world, with such weak hearted individuals." A dark figure looked down at the images displayed to him. "No matter. Being inhabited by beings with such weak hearts, the Heartless will take it over easily." He raised his hands into the air as the Heartless were called to that world. *** Sosh walked slowly with his backpack slung over his left shoulder. "Stupid homework" he muttered to himself. He was about to open the door to his house when he heard something strange. Wait! The time is soon... "Who said that?" Sosh said, startled. "Where are you?" Follow the music. All shall be explained. "What music?" Sosh said. Then, he began to hear a soft humming. It seemed to drown out all other sound. "What the?" He slowly began to walk along the beach, mesmerized. Soon enough, he reached a small crown shaped glyph sketched out onto the rock surface. He tapped the glyph with his fist. At first nothing happened. Then, the different sections of the glyph began to glow. The light became so blinding that it engulfed Sosh whole... End Chapter One --------------- Wow, it seemed a lot longer on paper! Am I going a little too fast?

11/15/07, 10:58 PM	#2
Ban Mido I Support President Elect Obama.* Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: *Don't Like it? Then SUCK IT!! Posts: 4,228 Rep Power: 12	Re: Connecting Hearts As first chapters go, It's alright. You might want to brainstorm a little before you start chapter two. Its well done though, and I like the story, even if it can use some more detail and is a little vague at the moment. I'm sure you can do better pie! I'm looking forward to more!:thumbup:

11/15/07, 11:00 PM	#3
Athel The Golden Hero Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Off somewhere, doing heroic stuff Age: 14 Posts: 1,085 Rep Power: 6	Re: Connecting Hearts Phew. Thanks Allstar. I have 40% of the plot worked out for now, so I think that chapter two will be better.

11/15/07, 11:03 PM	#4
Dantés de Divinity Devoted affection Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: On a hill in a white dress waiting for my dearest to arive Posts: 1,967 Rep Power: 4	Re: Connecting Hearts Well done dude. Work on the length and don't be afraid of waiting a week or so before you post it. The best writers wait years before they finish a book and weeks for a chapter. I know I do.lol. Make sure you like what you have write'n dude. Can't wait for what for the next chapter I want to see where this is going. ^_^ bowchickawowwow

11/15/07, 11:05 PM	#5
Nelo Angelo Nevermore... Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: The Forgotten City Posts: 3,326 Rep Power: 14	Re: Connecting Hearts hey not a bad start. as allstar said, few brainstormin and take your time. it'll turn out great.

11/15/07, 11:06 PM	#6
Athel The Golden Hero Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Off somewhere, doing heroic stuff Age: 14 Posts: 1,085 Rep Power: 6	Re: Connecting Hearts Wow, thanks Xikem. I got it, Nelo. Brainstorm I shall.

11/16/07, 12:40 AM	#7
shadow_heartless Twilight Knight Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: at a concert rockin it out! Age: 13 Posts: 849 Rep Power: 2	Re: Connecting Hearts Kewl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11/16/07, 01:19 AM	#8
NazoFire Redemption Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Boo-ya! Oh wait, that's not my location... Age: 14 Posts: 1,875 Rep Power: 4	Re: Connecting Hearts Cool. Can't wait for chapter two. hmhm.

11/16/07, 01:38 AM	#9
Haku ハレ晴レユカイ Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tokyo, Japan Age: 19 Posts: 10,178 Rep Power: 18	Re: Connecting Hearts Not bad at all, I look forward into reading the next one.

11/16/07, 01:56 AM	#10
Athel The Golden Hero Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Off somewhere, doing heroic stuff Age: 14 Posts: 1,085 Rep Power: 6	Re: Connecting Hearts Wow, my fan fic gets a compliment from Haku! I feel special....tears of joy

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