ailien menace

[Karate]

Bad news is, you can tell it's a first. Good news is it's good. After a few more fics, you'll get the hang of it.

[Dman2.0]

yours is pretty cool

much darker than kh or fma (but i dont know fma that well)
its cool

you killed kairi twice?

[Karate]

Originally Posted by Dman2.0

yours is pretty cool

much darker than kh or fma (but i dont know fma that well)
its cool

you killed kairi twice?

The first time was called "Trials of Love"
Alchemic Hearts was the second, but this thread is about you.

[Obscured fire]

Well,i don't think a good fic is critiqued good as first or 2nd,i think that it's after some chaps e.t.c
Anyways,i really liked this chapter,i just wished it'd be longer.
Write another chapter and try to make it a few more detailed and a bit longer if you can,i am sure it'll be better,trust me,my 1st fan-fic sucks,but after a few chaps it got better(maybe,i duno)

[Dman2.0]

hmm


the next chapter will be out soon

so far i have 2 1/2 pages in my notebook

[Maverick E.S]

Very nice story indeed, this isn't really a must have at least I don't think but anywayz lol....What the characters look like and a better discription of where they are would be a good add it too. Keep it up this story is really good. ^_^

[Dman2.0]

chapter four is ready now
chapter five is done but i wont post it untill i get into chapter six a bit



CH 4

Dex looked at the sword again. He picked it up and felt that it was light as a feather.
“Whoa,” Dex exclaimed surprised that such a large sword could weigh so little.
“Swing it!” Cree said.
“Ok,” Dex said. He raised the dragon sword above his head and slashed through the air. He felt the weight of the blade change and shift to give him the best swing.
“Do you like it?” Cree asked.
“Yes! It seems to know what I want to do,” Dex shouted testing the sword a few more times.
“The Dragon swords are easier to use than any normal sword, but it takes much more practice,” Cree said.
“We need training now, we are wasting time here,” Fritz spoke up.
“You are right,” Cree said, “I will have you spar for a short while then you must be off.”
Cree walked out of the tent and Dex and Fritz followed him.
“Hey help these kids get used to their new weapons, the are the warriors,” Cree shouted to a man.
“Yessir,” the man shouted and walked to them. “Let me see your blades,” he said. One at a time he held his hand over the swords and red electricity arced from his fingers to the metal blade.
“Whoa! What was that?” Fritz shouted.
“That my friend is one of the many forms of magi, weaponry to be exact,” the man said.
“I dulled the blade so that you can fight, it will just be a blunt hit without slicing you to ribbons,” he said.
“Ok,” Dex said “ you’ll put it back right?”
“Of course,” he said.
“Lets go,” Fritz said and walked to a grassy area. Dex followed and held up his dragon sword.
Fritz charged at Dex bringing his sword down at him. Dex reacted swiftly, spinning away and punched at Fritz with his left hand. The punch never made it because Fritz dropped to the ground and rolled away. Dex took the chance and jumped at him thrusting the sword into his chest. The impact knocked the wind out of Fritz but not for long. Fritz recovered and jumped to his feet. He swung at Dex’s side. Dex blocked the blow with his own sword. Frits struck several more times, Dex skillfully parrying them all. Finaly Fritz got lucky. He struck Dex’s leg with enough force to knock him over. Fritz brought his sword down for one final blow but Dex managed to block it. However it sent Dex into a mad fury. He jumped up and sent a wild barage of attacks at Fritz. They continued for a few minutes until they both collapsed from the exhaustion.
“Ugh, I need a break,” Dex said.
“You did good,” Cree said handing Dex and Fritz leather canteens of water.
“Thanks,” Fritz gasped out.
“Now you need to leave quickly, follow this map,” Cree said handing a rolled piece of paper to Fritz.
“Yes!” Dex and Fritz said simultaneously.
The two left the camp and pushed through the forest. Dex cut through the hanging vines with his retargeted dragon sword.
“The orcs don’t stand a chance!” Dex shouted joyfully.
“Of course not against us, the dragon warriors,” Fritz said laughing.
“Hey Fritz how much do you know about that magi the guy talked about?” Dex asked.
“All I know is that it is an ancient art with many forms. Some of them are levitation, earth, weaponry, and many more,” Fritz replied.
“I’m gonna learn levitation when we get back,” Dex said.
“I’ll learn with you,” Fritz said.
“I’ll be glad’” Dex said.
They continued on through the forest until they broke out into the open fields.
“Now which way do we go?” Fritz asked.
Dex looked down at the map and said “The maps says that there is an orc stronghold to the west of here.”
“Then we hit them there,” Fritz said.
They checked their direction then continued on to the west.