ailien menace

[White Tiger]

Ahh Chapter three was much better, a lot easier on the eyes. You still missed some punctuation mistakes and grammar, what program do you use to type this up?

[Ban Mido]

Major improvement over the last. good work!

[Dman2.0]

thank you guys it was fun to write and im glad you liked it.

i am not good at wrting so i expect many mistakes but it works sometimes

[White Tiger]

Do you use Microsoft Word to type this up?

[Dman2.0]

umm i dont know I click on wordpad

[White Tiger]

Oh Word Pad doesn't fix your mistakes, you should use Fire Fox, that will correct any spelling mistakes you make when posting something on the internet. ^^

[Dantés de Divinity]

Yep White Tiger beat me to it.lol. Just do that and you should be good through the rest of the story. Good luck I'll check back every once and a while to read.
bowchickawowwow

[Dman2.0]

on my first fanfic i have three readers al ready that is awsome thank you guys for the constructive critizism and reading it

[White Tiger]

Originally Posted by White Tiger

Oh Word Pad doesn't fix your mistakes, you should use Fire Fox, that will correct any spelling mistakes you make when posting something on the internet. ^^

You should use FireFox, its way better then Internet. It corrects you spelling mistakes when you type, its faster and blocks pop ups.

[Obscured fire]

I am fianlly on!
And as i said i will look to ur fan-fic when i'll be back,so i did ^_^
At first the prologue was dissapointing small,then it became better and better.
Keep up the good job and it'll become even better!!!!

[Dman2.0]

ive started writing again and im going to have the next chapter out before monday hopefully

[Karate]

Read and posted. I actually was going to make a character called Dex, but I stopped that fic. I think I should re do it though. Either way, can you read mine? It's called Alchemic Hearts. I need feedback, and people are too stuck up to comment.

[Dman2.0]

thanks
sure ill read yours

ch 3
"I wish the horses could make it through these woulds" dex gasped out.

"We can't stop to rest, we're almost there" Fritz said. Dex and Fritz made their way through the thickening woods until they came to a smal clearing.

"Halt" shouted a voice from out of the trees. "State your buisiness for being here" it said.

"We are here to find the ranger Cree, said to live here" Fritz said.

"follow me" said a man as he stepped out into the clearing. The two boys followed him silently as he led them to a larger clearing with a vally. They climbed town the valley into a camp of tents everywhere.

"sir any news of the war?" said a man coming out of a tent to their left.

"I guess this is the place" Fritz said.

"lets just find Cree" DEx said.

"In there, Cree will be with you soon" said the man who led them there, almost pushing them into a tent.

"Its wierd everyone has bows and arrows and daggers" when he sat down in the tent.

"They must all be rangers, a whole camp full of rangers" Fritz said. He picked up a bow that was laying on the ground, pulled back on the string and released it.

It snapped against his wrist and he screamed with pain. Beads of blood seaped out of his swelling, red skin.

"Ha, hurt?" said a man sitting on the floor that neither Dex or Fritz had seen before.

"Yes, oww, that hurts" Fritz said " Ive shot many bows but never one like that."

"Its a rangers bow, very powerful." said the man "Only very skilled people, like me, Cree the greatest ranger of all time son of the hunter arok."

"You're Cree? WE must get straight to training then," Dex shouted.

"You're right but we wont have time for any actual training, but i will give you weopons and a map" Cree said
"At least a little bit of t
raining" pleaded Fritz.

"I might be able to fit in a bit of training but you realy need to go as soon as possible" Cree said.

Cree led Dex and Fritz to the center of the camp into the largest tent.

"In these cases is everything youll need in the upcoming battles" Cree said as he tossed boxes to Fritz and Dex.

"Hmm" Dex opened the box and pulled out a small piece of metal and a sheathed sword.

"What are these worthless chunks of tin?" Fritz asked.

"Those are boomerang style weopons with blades that can be posistioned differently for either throwing or cutting and close range fighting" Cree explained.

"We might get some use from tha" Dex said "But i wanna try out the sword"

"Ahh the dragon swords " Cree said. " A long time ago, noone knows when, it is said that there were great fighters know as the dragon warriors, and these are their swords"

"then why are you giving them to us Dex asked. "Arent they like treasures of history?"

"I am giving it to you two because i believe you are the dragon warriors brought back" Cree said. "thats why we need your help"

"you're mistaken we're just common people" Fritz said.

"you were common people" Cree said " but your lives changed as soon as you found out about the war"

[Karate]

That's actually the first time I ran across a character/person by the name of Cree who is a male. For future reference, you might wanna run your stuff through a spell checker. I noticed a spelling and grammatical error in the first line. You were looking for the word "woods"

Just constructive criticism if you want it

[Dman2.0]

oops thanks i might want to edit that

thank you
its my first fanfic so thats why it might not have been to good