when nothin else mattered

[Jopari]

Your chapters are still a little short, but I can see that you're definitely trying to improve and I really like that. I did notice a few mistakes in the last chapter, so be sure to proof read your work before you post. If possible get a trusted friend to read it over before you post.

One final bit of advice is to add to description. You don't have to describe everything all the time, but always be sure to toss in a few details to give the reader a picture. Remember, writing and reading are visual imagination exercises.

[bladed asassin]

allright Im pretty sure this is going to be a really good chapter.. hopefully..

Chapter 4
The night of destiny


After a long day of training and sparing, Sora and Riku were beat.

“Nothin like a good work out every once and a while Riku said.”

“Yeah” Sora said back.

The sun was starting to set and Riku and Sora made there way to curved tree.

“Man, its really wierd to be up here without Kairi” said Sora.

“Yeah its quiet for once” Riku yelled.

They both laugh but Sora then started to think about her and stopped laughing.

“Hey, common now Sora,” said Riku. “Stop beating yourself up ok?”.

“Yeah i know, its just I wonder what shes gunna say”Sora thought

Mean while back on the main land, Kiari looked out her window of the house
wondering what Riku and Sora were doing right now. She realized how late it was and
figured there watching to sunset together. She couldn’t see them becuase her house is
pointing to the other side of the island, she saw them sparing that day which kept her
entertained for a little bit. She didn’t want to go the island becuase she wanted to think
about everything her and Sora talk about last night. She took a deep breath and said to
her self.

“I really like him but... it.. well maybe... urg!!! i don’t what i should do “. “When i see
Sora, i’ll no the answer and i won’t think about this until i see him” kairi said to her self.


Sora and Riku were realizing themselves that it was getting very late and decided
to go home.

Sora said “same time and place tomarrow?”

Riku said “yeah you know it.”

Sora started to row his boat home, it takes about 20 minutes to get there. Sora new that
when he got home he would get his answer from kiari. He was more nevous then ever
before, But when he got to the dock were he alwyas tied the boat, Kiari was standing
there waiting for him.

“Kiari,! Sora said shocked, “what are you doing here.”

“I came down to give you an answer face to face Kiari said”.

Oh” Sora said, “what is your answer, and if you say no i understand, it would be hard I
guess to manage you and Riku both but i know i can do it.”

Kiari looked in Sora’s eyes and remebered the popu fruit drawling they had drew to both
of them, and when Sora saved her at hollow bastion, when they saw eachother “at the
world that never was” and not seeing eachother for a year.

She walked up to him and grab his arms and kissed him. She leaned away from him and
said yes.

Kairi!!! “ I love you,” Sora said.

Kiari said “I love you too.”

“Allright well, I need to get home now Sora soo i’ll see you tomarrow ok”.

Sora said “uh huh,bye Kairi” and Kairi waved back to him.

Sora the whole way home was blushing and he couldn’t stop smiling. This is the greatest
day of my life.