To Assert A Truth//A Tale of Delimitare Minore

[TheTerrorofDeath]

Ok this is my first fanfiction and its based off my new roleplay character. I want to establish his history and his journey to finding out....well you know. Anyways I want critique. If you liked it or what not. There will be alot to it and I hope you all enjoy it. First chapter is a bit short. Just meant to get everyone's attention.

Chapter 1~The Beginning of a Legend

Malicious discontent.

The scent of death filled the ambience. He amplified this smell to his liking. Blood ran free amongst the ground, filling the cracks with its mellifluence. Bodies laid motionless, with a putrid smell as an annexation. The terrain trembling with the souls of these corpses upon it. He stood in the midst of this, running his scythe across the ground, cleaning the crimson color from its edges. He stepped over each, showing no respect to their demise. The night grew darker, killing any sight of illumination from existence.

A slight wind picked up, cleaning the smell away. He ran his fingers through his blue hair, combing it back from its previous position of blinding him. A small figure was seen in the distance smirking at himself, conceited in a way. Wavering his blade in the air, he continued to mock him, telling him in a way to confront him. Limit walked in a fashionable posture, slowly, only to piss him off. Growing impatient, the man jumped from this cliff, landing swiftly upon the desolate land.

The two rushed in on eachother, with an avidity to suppress. Limit held his scythe high above himself as the man held his blade in a coherent convention. The two collided, the weapons sparking upon union. The two men swung their weapons in eccentric movements that were defended with bliss. The two continued in the night swinging away, each attack intent upon harm. As time passed, they grew tired. Breathing became heavy as a fatal swing from scythe ran through his blade, breaking it clearly in half. The other man showed fear, a weakness that haunted all. Walking backwards, he fell like a turtle placed on its shell, struggling to get back up. Limit only sneered as the battle had been won on his part. Only one thing left to do. Swinging his weapon in small sturdy circles, he eventually raised it above him, letting it swing downwards, striking his target.

"Death comes to us all. Quicker to others."

He whispered this under his breath, as the wind took this into an echo that rang across this planet. He turned from his prey and walked into what looked like an atrementous portal of sorts. It motioned in waves, similar to a void. He placed his hand upon this surface and found that absorbed his entity with such composure. Swiftly he entered this dimension.

A chamber of sorts was seen. A royal chamber at that. The scene was adorned in pigments of blue, silver linings taking its place some areas. Delineations suspended from the walls, representing what was once present. The past had a grasp upon this souls and they took great care of this room. A seat stood alone within this expanse. He took the pleasure of sitting in it, placing his weapon to the side. He silently thought to himhself, crossing his legs as if he were the king.

"In the throne room. Gather your asses in there and take care of it."

This rang through the halls into the ears of Limit. He made no gesture of changing his position and only awaited their entrance. Within a sudden moment, the door crashed inwards, a throng of men holding their weapons high. They stood confident as if they could brew a chance of winning.

"You have no authority here. Your intentions are not welcome and we shall cease your duration."

With those envious words, an arrow was flung, directed towards the head of Limit. Within the second it was released, his body vanished. A simple technique of teleportation was used and he was found behind them all, laughing to himself. They also began to experience anxiety, doubting themselves. Following, the first wave lunged foward with spears pointed. He only closed his eyes as he swung his scythe in a horizontal motion. This established their weapons as incompetent. Their weapons fell to the ground, the soldiers holding the other half. Swiftly he threw his hand foward as a hint of black magic was forseen. Fire erupted from his plam, incinerating his opponents in a juncture.

The second and last wave wielded blades and were meaningful to their titles. Their vast knowledge of the weapon shown brightly as they defended his mere swings. A surprise caught his attention as a bolt of ice was flung from his weapons. As it was coursed, it ran through Limit's body, only to have a mass of black gas left behind. The clone had been successful in taking the attack. Again he repeated his tactic of standing behind his opponents. Scared as they may of been, he didn't relent his fury. Quickly a bolt of lightning spread itself out into branches that struck their beings, dropping them like flies.

"Worthless..."

He enjoyed the sight of death. It excited him in aberrant methods. He paced through the throne room into the halls. He encounted no hesitation to his progression and found himself opening the doors the the dining room. The king and queen were seen gourging themselves in such delights. They lights were just dim enough to see their facial expressions as they met with the forbidden warrior. They enjoyment has halted and he only gave them a reassuing smile. He didn't intend upon harming them, but if time came to it, he wouldn't alternate.

Abruptly the king made an attempt to run from the scene. Limit found himself on the other side of the door, taking the king by his attire and dragging him to the floor. He pointed the tip of his blade to his throat, threatening him attentively. Everyone shouted in horror, pondering of how this would end. Without another thought he looked out the window only to see something conventional to him.

War.

Two races were raging bloodshed upon eachother. Death and life were amongst this display. Numerous soldiers continued to reinforce eachother. It was a neverending war. But for what? He grew baffled at this and only frowned on it. He turned to the king who still stationed himself on the floor. Limit spoke in a deep tone, making sure everyone heard him and that his question was answered.

"I want answers. I want them now."

[TheTerrorofDeath]

Is someone going to critique?

[Deeman]

Great piece of work. Keeps you interested the whole way through; very descriptive and expressive. I love your vibrant choice of vocabulary. Just a minor typo at the beginning of the fourth paragraph; "whisperd" should be "whispered." But that's extremely minor ;)

I look forward to more. ^_^

[Nelo Angelo]

yo thats amazing man limit.
you did a story on your character too eh?
much better than mine, i look forward to more. excellent.

[TheTerrorofDeath]

Originally Posted by Deeman

Great piece of work. Keeps you interested the whole way through; very descriptive and expressive. I love your vibrant choice of vocabulary. Just a minor typo at the beginning of the fourth paragraph; "whisperd" should be "whispered." But that's extremely minor ;)

I look forward to more. ^_^

Lmao, whoops. Thought I did a spell check.

But thanks for the critique guys. I'll get the next chapter after I get a few more responses.

[Prophet]

Limitless my friend, your talent RPing is matched in your fanfiction writing. Seriously man, there is a lot of talen in those typing fingers. As said before, the vocab is good, the plot draws you in, and the language is very sophisticated and well put. You definitely have a certain style of writing which reflects your talent. I'll be waiting for the next update!

[TheTerrorofDeath]

Originally Posted by cyberseraph

Limitless my friend, your talent RPing is matched in your fanfiction writing. Seriously man, there is a lot of talen in those typing fingers. As said before, the vocab is good, the plot draws you in, and the language is very sophisticated and well put. You definitely have a certain style of writing which reflects your talent. I'll be waiting for the next update!

That makes me feel warm inside :P

Ahh one more response and I'll post the next chapter.

[TheTerrorofDeath]

Chapter 2~The Annodoening Stone

"You weren't supposed to be born."

The king spoke in a delicate tone, still composed of a slight fear. As he readied himself back into his chair, Limit approached him silently. He seemed confused at this and only swayed back and forth for moments over. He swung his scythe to the ground repeatedly to keep everyone's attention.

"What do you mean by this? And why is there a war if you two can't afford to do so?"

"Well there is a gem. One that supposedly contains any emotion of its will. If you drain these emotions from a soul, someone becomes a lifeless being. It's just an easier way to win a fight without actually fighting. As for you, you were a mistake. Your mother and I brought you into this world, only hoping for a girl. We tried to kill you, but we failed miserably at that as well."

Shocked by the truth, the past has finally caught up to him. But isn't this what he wanted? He had no grasp onto what he felt and only trembled in frustration. Quickly, he attacked the king without warning. He grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up with the slightest hardship.

"A mistake eh!!! Here's your mistake!"

Swiftly, he ran his blade through his father and threw him across the room into a wall, where his blood stained. The lifeless caliph slouched to the ground with nothing more. His mother screeched at the top of her lungs, commanding the guards to kill him. Following this event, Limit jumped out the window. Death would of surely ensued if he hadn't clipped his scythe around a pole sticking out of the castle. He swung around this and leveled himself to the ground. Smiling at his advent he continued off into the midst of the war.

Cities were burning, ashes flew wildly into the ambience, giving a hazy glaze. Blinded somewhat of the catastrophe, he found himself already confronted by warriors he wasn't too familar with. Each wielded an assortment of weapons but were ignorant of the true art of war. Alacritously he threw his weapon in a motion that sliced his opponent in one motion. As it fell upon a nearby wall, he ran by and grabbed it on his way out.

Both sides fought viciously. Blood sinsitered the ground and left corruption upon the air. He felt a bit weasy at this change in environment and felt himself on the edge of consciousness. As he skipped through these waves, he continued to pound his way in. There always seemed to be someone confronting him, but he took care of the warrior with serenity. This bore a burden on him, as his ability to battle began to wear him out. As he thought he was fighting an endless war, a pedastal stood in the distance, surrounded by a small metallic barrier.

With this contentment, he lunged into the air, using his weapon for a small boost. He flew above a small wave and landed only feet away from this virtue and ran his fingers across the obstruction. It wouldn't be hard to penetrate and abruptly he swung his weapon against this object. It cracked and was left with an enormous hole on its side. Without another thought he grabbed the stone. A bantam amount of power resided within from this concurrence. He felt a varies amount of emotion run through his body.

Fear, Anger, Sadness, Love, Confidence, Calm.

They all emptied within his entity and the amount it gave was too much to withstand. The energy from the emotions all gathered and exploded outwards. This pressure collided with the surrounding forces and drained their emotions from their bodies as well. Each collapsed in seconds. A truth shrouded in mystery. He felt himself falling to the same fate and only put the gem into his pocket before he fell to the ground. He was given a strong scent of the war and closed his eyes to bear through it. His body was numb. He couldn't feel a thing.

Was this the end?

What was the axiom of this "bijou?"

[Deeman]

Fascinating chapter, Limit! I enjoyed it throughly. A tad short, but that doesn't bother me. Just one little thing I noticed...

Originally Posted by LimitLess

would of

That should be "would have." Don't worry, though, it's a common mistake.

Great work; I look forward to more ^_^

[TheTerrorofDeath]

I really appreciate it. Don't worry, they won't always be that short. Hah I always seem to make that one mistake don't I? Anyways thanks. More critique is welcomed.

[Nelo Angelo]

just keeps gettin better and better. you got amazing ability bro. very impressive.
cant wait for the next one. damn!

[Suzaku]

Intresting... you have a unique style of writing that I have only seen once apart from this. You write an enagaging story rife with some of the most interesting descriptions I've seen. Please continue. This should be interesting.

[Prophet]

Nice job once more my friend. Keep up the excellence. I would have preferred to have a bit more interaction and development from the conversation with Limit and the King, but thats just me. It is an excellent tale, and I eagerly await the next update. Keep it up man!

[KHFanatic4565]

I was being patient, since you're following my path. I've created a story of my own out of my own character. Anyways, this is an excellent story. If anyone posted a critique on mine, then I could continue it.