KH: Beginning of the End

**Oathkeeper** · 02/24/07, 03:24 AM

This is my 1st fanfic so please be nice!
Chapter 1
It was a rainy and foggy night. Few things were visible in the fog but one of those things was a neon blue sign that hung from a shop. The sign read 'Welcome to Dawn Isle'. A cloaked woman stood under the sign holding a cring child. 'Hush' said the woman. She stared at baby girl with eyes that matched the sign above her. Woman was running out of time and every second she was late...she shuddered. She hastly set the baby on the steps and got in her gummi.

princess namine · 02/24/07, 05:39 AM

not bad so far but could you make it longer.

**Oathkeeper** · 02/24/07, 06:12 AM

Chapter 2.The Past Memories
Leona had just woken up. She stretched and looked around the room. It was the same room she had lived in for sixteen years. She didn't have any parents or even any relatives as far as she knew. She lived with an old shopkeeper and she felt like a grandma to Leona. Leona got up and looked in the mirror. She had jet black hair and bright blue eyes. No one else on the isle had eyes her color, but the hadn't been back for 2 years. Her only true friend...

princess namine · 02/25/07, 05:03 AM

not bad and if you would like me to help make the chapters longer just pm me

Infinity's End · 02/25/07, 05:07 AM

Yes, chapters are VERY short, lengthen them up a bit, and try to be more descriptive

princess namine · 02/25/07, 10:32 PM

yeah the chapters are too short, so try to make it at least 3 pages long on word.

**Oathkeeper** · 02/25/07, 11:06 PM

Thanks for the reviews guys! I want to make it longer because I have alot of ideas but my computer only lets me post a certain amout of words on each post but if you don't mind me double posting I can and continue the chapter on a new post.

princess namine · 02/28/07, 02:23 AM

sure you can double post.(but if you want to make a big page ask your friends that made threads if they could show how to make the page longer)

SoraLuvsKairi · 02/28/07, 03:20 AM

try to make it longer it's good

Gullwing Yunie · 02/28/07, 08:37 AM

Yeah just double post because these are really good and longer chapters always help the story

**Oathkeeper** · 03/01/07, 04:19 AM

Chapter 3: Dawn Isle
When Leona finished getting ready for school she grabbed her books and headed out the door. She hated school. I wouldn't have been so bad if she had friends but everybody on the Isle was afriad of her long black hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to glow. She had only met one person that had eyes her color but they had probably already forgotten about her. As she approached the school the sky darkend. All the students looked up at the sky to see a purple sphere sucking up their home

**Oathkeeper** · 03/01/07, 04:33 AM

Chapter 3 cont.
Leona started to back away, she had to go find her grandma. Just as she turned around a figure in a dark blue cloak approached her. "The time is now. You must return the favor." said the figure. "Favor? What favor? I don't know what you're talking about!" said Leona shakily. The sphere behind her was getting bigger and stronger. The figure strode towards her and pointed between her eyes. Her neon blue eyes widened in pain as an electrical shock ran through her body. She fell to the ground.

**Oathkeeper** · 03/01/07, 04:45 AM

Chapter 3 cont. again:
Leona struggled to get back up but something was keeping her down. "You must come back, you are needed." The mysterious figure said. As it held out its hand a gummi ship landed. The ship had trouble staying on the ground because of the sphere. A brown haired boy with bright blue eyes stepped out. "Leona!" the boy shouted. It was Sora. Leona smiled despite the agony she was in. He had finally came back after 2 years. Sora ran towards her with his keyblade out. "Stay away from her!"

Gullwing Yunie · 03/01/07, 10:05 AM

Ooooooooooooh the plot thickens:toungesmile:
Loved the update

princess namine · 03/01/07, 11:12 PM

yeah to me it was really good.

02/24/07, 03:24 AM	#1
Oathkeeper Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 109 Rep Power: 3	KH: Beginning of the End This is my 1st fanfic so please be nice! Chapter 1 It was a rainy and foggy night. Few things were visible in the fog but one of those things was a neon blue sign that hung from a shop. The sign read 'Welcome to Dawn Isle'. A cloaked woman stood under the sign holding a cring child. 'Hush' said the woman. She stared at baby girl with eyes that matched the sign above her. Woman was running out of time and every second she was late...she shuddered. She hastly set the baby on the steps and got in her gummi.

02/24/07, 05:39 AM	#2
princess namine Enigmatic Soldier Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ohio Age: 14 Posts: 938 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End not bad so far but could you make it longer.

02/24/07, 06:12 AM	#3
Oathkeeper Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 109 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Chapter 2.The Past Memories Leona had just woken up. She stretched and looked around the room. It was the same room she had lived in for sixteen years. She didn't have any parents or even any relatives as far as she knew. She lived with an old shopkeeper and she felt like a grandma to Leona. Leona got up and looked in the mirror. She had jet black hair and bright blue eyes. No one else on the isle had eyes her color, but the hadn't been back for 2 years. Her only true friend...

02/25/07, 05:03 AM	#4
princess namine Enigmatic Soldier Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ohio Age: 14 Posts: 938 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End not bad and if you would like me to help make the chapters longer just pm me

02/25/07, 05:07 AM	#5
Infinity's End ars gratia artis Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: A place called style. Age: 16 Posts: 1,865 Rep Power: 4	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Yes, chapters are VERY short, lengthen them up a bit, and try to be more descriptive

02/25/07, 10:32 PM	#6
princess namine Enigmatic Soldier Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ohio Age: 14 Posts: 938 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End yeah the chapters are too short, so try to make it at least 3 pages long on word.

02/25/07, 11:06 PM	#7
Oathkeeper Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 109 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Thanks for the reviews guys! I want to make it longer because I have alot of ideas but my computer only lets me post a certain amout of words on each post but if you don't mind me double posting I can and continue the chapter on a new post.

02/28/07, 02:23 AM	#8
princess namine Enigmatic Soldier Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ohio Age: 14 Posts: 938 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End sure you can double post.(but if you want to make a big page ask your friends that made threads if they could show how to make the page longer)

02/28/07, 03:20 AM	#9
SoraLuvsKairi Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: i've got no clue.... Posts: 172 Rep Power: 0	Re: KH: Beginning of the End try to make it longer it's good

02/28/07, 08:37 AM	#10
Gullwing Yunie perfectFIT// Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Australia Age: 16 Posts: 2,610 Rep Power: 6	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Yeah just double post because these are really good and longer chapters always help the story

03/01/07, 04:19 AM	#11
Oathkeeper Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 109 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Chapter 3: Dawn Isle When Leona finished getting ready for school she grabbed her books and headed out the door. She hated school. I wouldn't have been so bad if she had friends but everybody on the Isle was afriad of her long black hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to glow. She had only met one person that had eyes her color but they had probably already forgotten about her. As she approached the school the sky darkend. All the students looked up at the sky to see a purple sphere sucking up their home

03/01/07, 04:33 AM	#12
Oathkeeper Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 109 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Chapter 3 cont. Leona started to back away, she had to go find her grandma. Just as she turned around a figure in a dark blue cloak approached her. "The time is now. You must return the favor." said the figure. "Favor? What favor? I don't know what you're talking about!" said Leona shakily. The sphere behind her was getting bigger and stronger. The figure strode towards her and pointed between her eyes. Her neon blue eyes widened in pain as an electrical shock ran through her body. She fell to the ground.

03/01/07, 04:45 AM	#13
Oathkeeper Warrior of Darkness Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 109 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Chapter 3 cont. again: Leona struggled to get back up but something was keeping her down. "You must come back, you are needed." The mysterious figure said. As it held out its hand a gummi ship landed. The ship had trouble staying on the ground because of the sphere. A brown haired boy with bright blue eyes stepped out. "Leona!" the boy shouted. It was Sora. Leona smiled despite the agony she was in. He had finally came back after 2 years. Sora ran towards her with his keyblade out. "Stay away from her!"

03/01/07, 10:05 AM	#14
Gullwing Yunie perfectFIT// Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Australia Age: 16 Posts: 2,610 Rep Power: 6	Re: KH: Beginning of the End Ooooooooooooh the plot thickens:toungesmile: Loved the update

03/01/07, 11:12 PM	#15
princess namine Enigmatic Soldier Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ohio Age: 14 Posts: 938 Rep Power: 3	Re: KH: Beginning of the End yeah to me it was really good. Last edited by princess namine; 03/05/07 at 02:55 AM.

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