Our.[Fatal]~{Desires}

Enigmacy · 01/12/07, 03:27 AM

I was inspired on writing this while I was eating.....This isn't a written document based on any game or any other writing, but an idea of my own creation.

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes, my vision blurred by the over-head lights shining upon my face. As much as I figured out, I was lying down, reclined to be more exact. And, to be even more exact, reclining in a leather-seated chair. In, what seemed, a surgery room.

And, of course, a surgeon loomed over me, using his tools and diligently working away.

I tried to move, but my body wouldn't follow my direct order. I didn't understand why, nor did I want to understand, so I just spoke up...

"Where am...I?"

The surgeon stopped his work, and stared directly in my eyes. " Do not try to speak, you are not yet ready to...But, you will be very soon."

"I asked you a question," I said lazily, my vision still blurred and my breathing labored...Anger welled inside me. It exploded out of me: "I said I asked you a question!"

"And I said to not speak," repeated the surgeon with a touch of iritation in his voice.

I steadied my temper, and grabbed it by the horns. This time I would and will repeat it more gently..Maybe he'll answer this time, I thought.

"Listen, please give me an answer to my question and I'll trouble you no more..."

The man laughed, put down his tools, and stared at me once again. Directly in my eyes. I felt a cold rush go up my spine. "Fine, if I may not concentrate until your questions are answered, then, I guess, I am inclined to answer them."

"Allright," he continued, "You are here to be awakened. Once and for all."

"Awakened?" I repeated.

"Awakened, yes. You have never been alive until this very second, this very hour, and..." He shifted his gaze to the clock set upon the wall behind him," This very day..."

"Could you be more explanatory, please?"

"Of course." he shifted, trying to make himself comfortable. " Let's see. You were dead, but now I am bringing you back to life with the Surgery." He sighed, and took in a deep breathe and continued, " Your name is yet to be decided, your gender has been decided, and, now, you are being brought to life."

"But I was dead." I replied, a cloud of confusement over-whelming me. "How can I be brought to life?"

"You've been dead a long time. A very long time. In your age, rebirth was thought impossible. Your culture was only at the peak of cloning."

"I don't even remember- anything."

"That's to be expected. If you remembered something, you'd be the first." the man said.

"Why can't I move?" I asked.

"Your not ready to yet. It's not part of who you are yet."

"Who I am? What do you mean?"

He sighed and sat up. "My, my, my, you are an interesting one, aren't you? Never have I had one like you.

"Okay," the surgeon said lazily, " You were dead, perhaps one-hundred years ago. We have now retrieved your body from your grave and we are now in the process of bringing you back to life."

"Wouldn't my body be...Gone by one-hundred years." I asked.

"I didn't say you were in the ground, now did I? We found you in a block of ice, and you are now one of our test subjects."

"Block of ice? There are others like me?"

"There were many more frozen from an incident that occurred years ago. We are now bringing back the earth population. Many others were tested, subjected to the same surgery as you were, and they were all failures or successes. Pick and choose, your choice."

"Now," He said, with one last ounce of discussion left in him, "Lean back and let me finish, before you die again.."

I gave in, shut my eyes, and then felt a sharp pain in my chest. "What..Are you operating on now?"

He replied: "Your heart..."

Chapter 2

I awakened, the over-head lights still beamed upon my delicate skin. I felt like I was....Wait, I thought for the word, searching through every ounce of my mind, trying to grab hold of it. Yes, there it was: sunburn.I felt like I was sunburning.

"Why do I feel like I'm...." I had to pause to grab hold of the word again.." Sunburning?"

The surgeon laughed and put down his tools again. "Wow, and I thought you were unconscious to give me some peace and quiet." He paused, rubbed his head, and continued, " Only two layers of skin are on your body..."

"And...?" I replied.

"And that means......." He whispered to me.

"And that means I need one more layer." I answered.

"Correct.Luckily, this place is sanitized to the fullest and you cannot be subjected to infection in here. And," He said, smiling, "You would be subjected to infection, why?"

"Because," I said, "My third layer of skin is not on me- yet. And I need it to have the fullest protection."

"Correct, yet again and again. You see? You can answer questions without asking me."

" But I want to ask you. It helps me think and regain my lost memory." I smiled.

"It's nice," he said, tears forming in his eyes, "To be able to make happiness and smiling apart of who you are..."

"And it's nice," I continued," For a person like you to give me that." I moved my eyes, staring directly into his: "Thankyou."

The surgeon wiped the tears from his eyes and replied: "I'm glad I gave you manners first. You used them quite well."

He went back to work and I slipped, yet again, into unconsciousness.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I awoke, and something hot came to my eyes and it dropped down my cheeks. Very slowly.

"What is this?" I asked.

He turned to me and grinned, "Looks like this is your first experience, for one-hundred years, to experience tears..."

I let them fall. They felt good, yet I felt something throbbing in my chest and I gasped for air.

"What is this? This, this, swelling in my chest?" I said wearly.

"Pain. But not physical, yet mental. Along with tears comes tears of joy and tears of pain.... and hardship. It seems that tears of pain are coursing through you. With tears of pain, comes mental pain as well....But it also hurts you physically..I'm sorry for making you experience this so early in the Surgery, but it must be done so you may live and fight the War.

"War?" I repeated.

"War, yes. War, a terrible thing. Nobody wants it."

"Tell me more. Who started this War?" I asked.

"Fine," He put down his tools, sighed deeply, and stared into my eyes, penetrating my mind with that stare. Tears started to form at his eyes: "I guess it's time you know....of the Apacolypse."

**Stavvy** · 01/12/07, 04:09 AM

I like it, 10/10. Oustanding.

It flowed smoothly, it kept me interested, I didn't notice any typos, You give personality to the main character(If that is the main character) well.

Write more.

Enigmacy · 01/12/07, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stavros

I like it, 10/10. Oustanding.

It flowed smoothly, it kept me interested, I didn't notice any typos, You give personality to the main character(If that is the main character) well.

Write more.

Thanks.^_^ And I'll try to post Chapter 2 soon. Thanks for the comments.

**Stavvy** · 01/12/07, 04:14 AM

Yeah, it flows alot better than my FF, Between the Rift. Or atleast I think so. . check it out if you wish. . .

Ashes Remnant · 01/12/07, 04:14 AM

VERY nice... I like the name of it alot. ;) 9/10

Enigmacy · 01/12/07, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Protofan

VERY nice... I like the name of it alot. ;) 9/10

Yeah, me to. Lol. Thanks for the comments.

??? · 01/13/07, 05:41 PM

lol,you named it after our graphics clan.That was pretty cool,and the first chapter was nice.

Enigmacy · 01/14/07, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knives

lol,you named it after our graphics clan.That was pretty cool,and the first chapter was nice.

Thanks, and also thanks for the title, knives.^_^ xD

Chapter 2 will be posted in five minutes...

01/12/07, 03:27 AM	#1
Enigmacy [Following my Path] Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Square Enix Age: 15 Posts: 1,098 Rep Power: 4	Our.[Fatal]~{Desires} I was inspired on writing this while I was eating.....This isn't a written document based on any game or any other writing, but an idea of my own creation. Chapter 1 I opened my eyes, my vision blurred by the over-head lights shining upon my face. As much as I figured out, I was lying down, reclined to be more exact. And, to be even more exact, reclining in a leather-seated chair. In, what seemed, a surgery room. And, of course, a surgeon loomed over me, using his tools and diligently working away. I tried to move, but my body wouldn't follow my direct order. I didn't understand why, nor did I want to understand, so I just spoke up... "Where am...I?" The surgeon stopped his work, and stared directly in my eyes. " Do not try to speak, you are not yet ready to...But, you will be very soon." "I asked you a question," I said lazily, my vision still blurred and my breathing labored...Anger welled inside me. It exploded out of me: "I said I asked you a question!" "And I said to not speak," repeated the surgeon with a touch of iritation in his voice. I steadied my temper, and grabbed it by the horns. This time I would and will repeat it more gently..Maybe he'll answer this time, I thought. "Listen, please give me an answer to my question and I'll trouble you no more..." The man laughed, put down his tools, and stared at me once again. Directly in my eyes. I felt a cold rush go up my spine. "Fine, if I may not concentrate until your questions are answered, then, I guess, I am inclined to answer them." "Allright," he continued, "You are here to be awakened. Once and for all." "Awakened?" I repeated. "Awakened, yes. You have never been alive until this very second, this very hour, and..." He shifted his gaze to the clock set upon the wall behind him," This very day..." "Could you be more explanatory, please?" "Of course." he shifted, trying to make himself comfortable. " Let's see. You were dead, but now I am bringing you back to life with the Surgery." He sighed, and took in a deep breathe and continued, " Your name is yet to be decided, your gender has been decided, and, now, you are being brought to life." "But I was dead." I replied, a cloud of confusement over-whelming me. "How can I be brought to life?" "You've been dead a long time. A very long time. In your age, rebirth was thought impossible. Your culture was only at the peak of cloning." "I don't even remember- anything." "That's to be expected. If you remembered something, you'd be the first." the man said. "Why can't I move?" I asked. "Your not ready to yet. It's not part of who you are yet." "Who I am? What do you mean?" He sighed and sat up. "My, my, my, you are an interesting one, aren't you? Never have I had one like you. "Okay," the surgeon said lazily, " You were dead, perhaps one-hundred years ago. We have now retrieved your body from your grave and we are now in the process of bringing you back to life." "Wouldn't my body be...Gone by one-hundred years." I asked. "I didn't say you were in the ground, now did I? We found you in a block of ice, and you are now one of our test subjects." "Block of ice? There are others like me?" "There were many more frozen from an incident that occurred years ago. We are now bringing back the earth population. Many others were tested, subjected to the same surgery as you were, and they were all failures or successes. Pick and choose, your choice." "Now," He said, with one last ounce of discussion left in him, "Lean back and let me finish, before you die again.." I gave in, shut my eyes, and then felt a sharp pain in my chest. "What..Are you operating on now?" He replied: "Your heart..." Chapter 2 I awakened, the over-head lights still beamed upon my delicate skin. I felt like I was....Wait, I thought for the word, searching through every ounce of my mind, trying to grab hold of it. Yes, there it was: sunburn.I felt like I was sunburning. "Why do I feel like I'm...." I had to pause to grab hold of the word again.." Sunburning?" The surgeon laughed and put down his tools again. "Wow, and I thought you were unconscious to give me some peace and quiet." He paused, rubbed his head, and continued, " Only two layers of skin are on your body..." "And...?" I replied. "And that means......." He whispered to me. "And that means I need one more layer." I answered. "Correct.Luckily, this place is sanitized to the fullest and you cannot be subjected to infection in here. And," He said, smiling, "You would be subjected to infection, why?" "Because," I said, "My third layer of skin is not on me- yet. And I need it to have the fullest protection." "Correct, yet again and again. You see? You can answer questions without asking me." " But I want to ask you. It helps me think and regain my lost memory." I smiled. "It's nice," he said, tears forming in his eyes, "To be able to make happiness and smiling apart of who you are..." "And it's nice," I continued," For a person like you to give me that." I moved my eyes, staring directly into his: "Thankyou." The surgeon wiped the tears from his eyes and replied: "I'm glad I gave you manners first. You used them quite well." He went back to work and I slipped, yet again, into unconsciousness. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I awoke, and something hot came to my eyes and it dropped down my cheeks. Very slowly. "What is this?" I asked. He turned to me and grinned, "Looks like this is your first experience, for one-hundred years, to experience tears..." I let them fall. They felt good, yet I felt something throbbing in my chest and I gasped for air. "What is this? This, this, swelling in my chest?" I said wearly. "Pain. But not physical, yet mental. Along with tears comes tears of joy and tears of pain.... and hardship. It seems that tears of pain are coursing through you. With tears of pain, comes mental pain as well....But it also hurts you physically..I'm sorry for making you experience this so early in the Surgery, but it must be done so you may live and fight the War. "War?" I repeated. "War, yes. War, a terrible thing. Nobody wants it." "Tell me more. Who started this War?" I asked. "Fine," He put down his tools, sighed deeply, and stared into my eyes, penetrating my mind with that stare. Tears started to form at his eyes: "I guess it's time you know....of the Apacolypse." Last edited by Enigmacy; 01/14/07 at 04:55 AM.

01/12/07, 04:09 AM	#2
Stavvy Bury me in your deathloins Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Twenty-Three is number One Age: 16 Posts: 9,628 Rep Power: 18	Re: Our.[Fatal]~{Desires} I like it, 10/10. Oustanding. It flowed smoothly, it kept me interested, I didn't notice any typos, You give personality to the main character(If that is the main character) well. Write more.

01/12/07, 04:14 AM	#4
Stavvy Bury me in your deathloins Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Twenty-Three is number One Age: 16 Posts: 9,628 Rep Power: 18	Re: Our.[Fatal]~{Desires} Yeah, it flows alot better than my FF, Between the Rift. Or atleast I think so. . check it out if you wish. . .

01/12/07, 04:14 AM	#5
Ashes Remnant Too Bright To See, Too Loud To Hear Join Date: Sep 2005 Age: 16 Posts: 2,069 Rep Power: 6	Re: Our.[Fatal]~{Desires} VERY nice... I like the name of it alot. ;) 9/10

01/13/07, 05:41 PM	#7
??? such a cool guy Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: ??? Age: 16 Posts: 1,879 Rep Power: 5	Re: Our.[Fatal]~{Desires} lol,you named it after our graphics clan.That was pretty cool,and the first chapter was nice.

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