Dude, Where's My Keyblade?!

[Omni_VII]

this is the most awesome thing evAr. RLY.

sora: omfg, what are you doing, kari?
kairi: i'm eating this buket of dog
riku: what the hell?
kairi: sora do you want some?
sora: lol, okay *sora grabs some dog* oh shift, that's great
kair: rofl, i told j00 ^____^
reeku: that is rassist
sora: wtf you fag
rik: wha?
kairi: you are so gay and i hate you
sora: now that is rassist
riku: lol ket's have an orgi! roflmao
sora: that's gross *eats more dogs*
kairi: omg, you fag
riku: sora, screw you

*riku sora and kairi go to the beach*

kairi: sora whatre you doing?!?!!??!
sora: *is wearing kairis bathing suit* lol, woops
riku: that is HAWT
sora: let's smex
riku: wtf?! and you call me a fag *runs away*
kairi: let's go somewhere else

*riku sora and kairi go to the shops*

sra: ocool1 looks its a keyblade
riku: isnt that mine?
sora: bullshift! i'm the keyblade master
riku: no i am!
ansem: no i am you pieces of crap! rofl
kairi: wtf?
ansem: hey, kairi, i wanna f you
kairi: o_O
ansem: i wanna fight you, LOLLOLOLOLOLOL
kairi: okay
*kairi and ansem fight*
*kair wins!*
kairi: omfg, i am t3h l33tz0r!
ansem: damn
riku: *runs away with keyblade*
sora: wtf? dude where's my keyblade?!?!?! ROFLMAO!
mickey: lol

http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=51640

[Guardian Soul]

....Wtf?... o_O.............

[Sora's minion]

uhhhhhhh that was ok i guess

[Antlion]

TOO leet to be funny. Use proper grammar, tone down the cursing.

[Vodka]

^It strikes me as how remotely this story resembles that of a simple chat conversation. Needless to say that I am very entertained. Also, I understand that this is your preferred 'style' of creating fanfiction, so my only constructive criticsm will be for you to stray a little bit further into providing a tad more detail, combined with jokes that represent that you had paid mind into thinking as to how doing that would 'fit' a humorous situation.

You have done a job that indicates that there will be either a very short amount, or many epics in 'lol'-ing to come.

I do tend to use your style in some circumstances, yet pay at least a little attention to the feedback that I had given you.

So what can I say? At times I need a break from the KH storyline at times, my only wish will be for you to learn from your mistakes, to enhance the grip within your jokes/humor, and to continue this at some point.


~xoxo/fu: theBeau

[Kairi410]

haaahaaaaaaaa........it was funny lol!!!

[Santuary]

10/10:thumbup: lol 2222255555

[Vodka]

[Sorry for this slight spam]


^Careful with the " 2222255555" fillers within your posts. The mods have made a rule to start keeping a watchful eye on people who decide to use that as a method. Try elaborating within your posts a little bit more, or merely expanding your phrase/comment/sentence etc-

This chapter was awesome! lol 10/10. :thumbup:

For example, you could have simply put that instead, or something similar to it and would have fufilled the 25 character rule.

Anyway again, I apologize for this slight spam, it was jut a matter that I decided to pay attention to, and help it for future reference.

[Santuary]

Oops! Didn't know that! Thanx for the heads up!:lol:

[Omni_VII]

lol, thanks evellyone

heres teh next chapt0rz

sora: come back you freaking basterd
riku: lol, you cant catch me ROFL
kairi: you ansem, you wanna die?
ansem: k
kairi: lol, what an emo! ROFFLE MAO
ansem: that is so mean i'm gonna cut myself :c
sora: lol
riku: what a faggot, lmao
mickey: wtf?

http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=51640

[Zetsumi]

What the hell is this crap? And why is it in the fanfic section?

Let me inform you of the definition of a Fanfiction. A Fanfiction is a passage of creative writing with the basis of a pre-established concept, most often held by copywrite laws.

This is not creative writing. This is a load of script-style crap that has no resemblance at all to creative writing. Despite the obvious flaws in it's design, it's not even remotly funny. For the last freaking time, applying adult themes to KH does not make it funny. I could name ten threads that are an almost exact replica of this one off the top of my head.

Srsly, get this shit OUT of the fanfic section, and into the trash bin, where it belongs.

[Omni_VII]

rolfmao

sora: who's this poofter?
mikey: lol, it's zetsemi! ROFLMAO!
riku: i hate that guy like so much cos hes so gay
kairi: it's not nice to make fun of gay people thats rassist
sora: no it isnt you idiot
ansem: yah, he is SUCH a piece of trash. i wanna kill him so much.
sora: even more than you want to be black? lol
ansem: wtf?
sora: darkness. lol
riku: now that is rassist. now were gonna get banz0red
sora: i wasn't trying to be rassit, you poof! lol
riku: okay
mickey: you all make me sick

LOL

ROFF-LE-MAO

for a secret sneek peak of the next chappy, read the spoiler!

[spoiler]This is all a joke, Zetsumi, you silly duffa.[/spoiler]

http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=51640

[~{Mindless Insanity}~]

Wow, I never knew someone could spell racist wrong. But anyway it really isn't funny, the others ones that do the same style just do it much better then you. So over all this is kind of a really poor fanfic. And Zets, that was a little too harsh next time just say gtfo and be done with it instead of crushing this persons hope of someday being a famouse fanfic writer. Anyway, if you must, you may continue with your chapters which are to short to be considered chapters.

[Zetsumi]

I see...so you assumed that by my commenting on how much your 'fanfic' sucked balls that I was a homosexual...how'd that one work? Idiot.

TaT, crushing people's hopes and dreams is what I do. It's my passion, cauing others pain. Trust me, I've seen idiots like this before, you can't get them to notice something unless you make it a personal insult.

As for a 'Famouse fanfic writer'...I fail to see how this swill could be called a fanfic. It's worthless crap...no, wait, I've figured a use for it. I'll print it out and use it as toilet paper.

Here...let me give you a taste of what 'true' fiction is.

[Pwnij] Grinning at the petty insults, Zetsumi lifted off from the ground, floating a few inches above it, arms crossed. He inclined his head, and suddenly a burst of darkness appeared inches in front of Ansem's face. When the smoke cleared, the omnipotent necromancer floated, upside down, inches from Ansem's face.

There was a gasp from Ansem, and he fell, to reveal a large sword sticking out of his back. Still upside down, the necromancer turned and glanced at Sora, Riku and Kairi.

"You children are merely playing with powers you do not understand..." he claimed smugly, before dissapearing again in a burst of smoke. A similar burst ripped it's way into existance behind Riku, and before he was even fully reformed, Zetsumi launched himself from it, flipping backwards to kick Riku away from him. Landing, he raised a hand over his head, and a small crimson orb crackled into existance, sparking. Laughing, he spun and threw it directly at the silver-haired boy. The orb ripped fowards, a surge of gravity following it, and passed directly through Riku's chest. For a second, the boy remained on his feet, and then, his chest seemed to buckle. As his body shuddered, it became clear what had happened: Zetsumi had created a singularity and imprisoned it inside Riku, from where it was crushing him with an overwhelming force, collapsing his own body into itself.

His keyblade fell from his hands, and clattered on the floor, as he ceased to exist. A booted foot came down on the Way to the Dawn, shattering it in half.

A smirk came over Zetsumi's face as he turned to face Sora. Kairi backed away, preparing to lunge, but before she could, she was grabbed from behind.

Ansem, his eyes glowing red, a sword still protruding from his chest, held her firm. His head lolled, like a puppet controlled by someone who had no idea which string connected to which limb. In truth, he was little more then a puppet, a victim of Zetsumi's ability to control corpses.

Mickey shouted and lept at the necromancer, but before he made contact, a burst of shadow appeared in front of him, and he impaled himself on a sword that had appeared in his path.

At a gesture from Zetsumi, the corpse of Ansem snapped Kairi's neck, letting her keyblade fall from her hands.

Now there was but two left...Sora and Omni.

Letting his face split into a manical grin, and flashing pointed white teeth, Zetsumi lept at Sora, who raised his keyblade in defence...and suddenly fell to the side, Kairi having sliced him with her own keyblade, her eyes too a glowing red, her body desecrated by Zetsumi's evisceral strings of energy.

"Needle wall!" shouted the necromancer, and before Sora could react, a hundred swords had burst out of a cloud of smoke behind him and impaled him.

Letting the corpses of Kairi and Ansem fall to the ground again, the necromancer turned to Omni, looking down on the young man. He could live, or die...it was his choice from here on out. [/Pwnij]

Ok, I'll admit it...I felt like showing off just a bit...still, let's be honest, I was within my rights. If he brought my character into his fic, it's his problem what I do with it.

[Omni_VII]

okay, i can spell racisst now.

sora: riku are you gonna give me my keyblade???????
riku: you totally scuk no way!
solid snake: it's showtime, bitchez
sora: LOL
kairi: ROFL
riku: let's f... fight
ansem: thats an old joke...
riku: shut up
sold snake: *puts C4 on riku's back* LOL
riku: oh SHIFT!
sora: run!
mickey: you're flucked LOL

to be continooed...

http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=51640

[spoiler]I wonder how long this will last for...[/spoiler]