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| so put a battery in your leg Join Date: Feb 2006 Age: 14
Posts: 3,516
Rep Power: 8 ![]() ![]() ![]() | First things first, this is a brief prologue written to the prologue I posted here a while back, and isn't, unfortunatly, written by me. A friend of mine is collaborating with me on a story and will be for several years, and this is the first taste of his ripe accomplishments. Just critique this like you normally would, ya? It began with an assassination. A nondescript, darkly clothed man, carrying a long case walked down the reeking, sewage filled streets of The capital city of Ropoa, a sprawling spider web of streets and backallys, leading on to smelly bars and rat-infested alcoves. A flickering, red neon sign eerily illuminated his path, giving a bloody glint to the man’s circular glasses. His long trench coat swished in the filth. Quickly walking around a corner, the man came to a main street. He clenched the handle of the case tighter. Embassy street is lined by hundreds of foreign embassies, where foreign dignitaries came to enjoy not being out in the stagnant air of the most polluted and poverty-stricken cities in the world. He stopped in front of a small building, in-between the embassies flying American and Gaelic flags. This will be his stakeout. The building was derelict and should have long ago collapsed, but the surrounding buildings supported the tilting structure. Mildew had stained the walls and floral wallpaper was rotting on the walls. Broken marijuana pipes and smashed joints littered the floor. A dead cat festered in the corner. The man climbed up all six floors using the rickety stairs. The elevator was somewhere in the basement. Kneeling by an intact table, he laid out his case in front of himself. He reached for the clasps with two gloved hands and slowly opened the case. It opened soundlessly. The man took out a long shaft and slowly twisted it into another segment. It was an M107 50. caliber sniper rifle. Two hours later, security found a crisply dressed man with a hole clean through his head. The man was Ivan Sorkov, the general of the Neo Soviet Army. America was groundlessly blamed for the death and the world was outraged for months. Right when the boiling political waters seemed the be calming, the President of China was assassinated, this time, the bullet was traced back to a British gun. In the following year, three more political figures were assassinated and finally, the rope snapped. The Neo Soviet Union declared war on The USA, sending all of its alliances to war against the NSU and triggering a war that would last for a whole century. Moscow was incinerated by poorly judged Chinese missiles, prompting most of Beijing to be wiped out. This caused most of the world to go to war with the NSU. Soon the conflict moved on to American soil. Night bombings terrified major cities and many Americans were trapped in fallout shelters from the cold war that did not protect from many new kinds of attack. Religious radicals called it Judgment Day, and Satanists rejoiced. Colonies on mars were doubled as people ran from drafts. Trillions of dollars were spent on cryogenics and space travel. The world was ending. Soon, earth was a glowing cinder, covered in ruined cities and smoldering craters. Mars was nearly dead without its life support shipments from earth. It was nicknamed the slum planet. Eventually, a Religious sect led by a man named Xiaan began blaming pagans for their misfortune. Thousands without faith saw light in this man’s ideals and another crusade began. A wave of death spread across the red globe as thousands of Hindus, Jews and non-Christians were exterminated by Xiaans followers. This new war raged for another fifty years, until, in the ruins of a forgotten military facility in central Nevada, a strange device was found. An Extreme Magnetic Field Generation Engine. This machine was capable of bending space into one dimension, allowing fast travel over great distances. Billions were loaded into a great ship named ARC and launched to a nearby star. En route, a series of accidents on boars occurred, knocking the ship into a twelfth dimension for almost four hundred years. ARC finally returned to our own universe, but nowhere near its destination, or even the milky way for that matter. They had ended up near a small galaxy on the ege of the known universe called PGC 134023.1. It was renamed Baldur, after the Norse god who had been reborn at the end of time. After two millennia of prosperity, a disturbance in the outer worlds changed everything. Xiaans descendants had built their own hyperdrive and had discovered humanity again. Happy, happy stuff. ~Fenris Etheral |
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| | #2 |
| Court Mage Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: atop memorys skyscraper watching the city Age: 17
Posts: 32
Rep Power: 0 ![]() | unbeleivibly good what comes next |
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| | #3 |
| I don't like bugs! Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,775
Rep Power: 8 ![]() ![]() | ._. I enjoyed it. The writing was excellent. I read it even though I have a migrain. Usually, I'd turn away from the computer, but I thought: "What's Fenneh up to?" and I read teh whole thing. For j00, Fenneh. For j00. XD Anyway, I really liked it. ._. The description was awesome, and people were dead. ._. |
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| | #4 |
| so put a battery in your leg Join Date: Feb 2006 Age: 14
Posts: 3,516
Rep Power: 8 ![]() ![]() ![]() | Madness comes next. Sheer and total insanity. I'll post the link as soon as I can find it. Pickle, my girlfriend actually broke up with me today. Yes, me and my Fennette are not longer a Fennouple. I seriously appreciate your friendship, ya? It puts me in a good mood to read stuff like that, especially at points like this in my life ;__; Thanky, miss. ~Fenris Etheral, who's sorry for the lack of madness and for the drama ._. |
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