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Old 07/30/06, 12:59 AM   #1
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Default \~@*=.:+~Passionatly In Love~+:.=*@~/

Ayumi is My character <3 and Akira is my boyfriend,Riku_123's character <3 so thats why i'm writing this ^^

Ayumi and Akira live together <3 their like 17,18? somewhere around there >>; BUT! They live together and love eachother <33

-Okay it starts out January 15 at 10:45 pm,Ayu and Akira are home ;3-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ayumi's POV

It was late,Akira and I were home alone,I guess we usually are alone but tonight seemed different then usual"So,what do you wanna do?"I asked,I was sitting on the couch waiting for him to come out of the Kitchen with something to drink"Anything"He said as he came back in and sat next to me"Whats that?"I asked looking at the drink he had in his hand,He gave a little laugh"Its a pepsi float"He said"Oops,I forgot the whipped cream"He got up and walked back into the Kitchen,I sat there on our couch in just a T-shirt,it went to my knees so it didn't matter"Okay,got it"Akira came back in and sat back down"So want some?"He asked,I smiled"I'm okay,but its kinda cold"I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my head on my knees"You want me to get you a blanket or something?"He took a drink"Well,I'm thinking about going to bed soon"I stood up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear"Are you staying up?"I asked"I guess I'll go with you"He stood up too"but what about that?"I asked"That? Oh,well i can put it in the fridge i guess"He pick up the Pespi Float and walked into the kitchen and put it in the fidge,I stood there waiting for him and seen He forgot the whipped cream,I picked it up and walked in the kitchen"You forgot something"I giggled,He smiled and took the whipped cream and put it in the fridge"Lets go to bed?"he asked,I nodded and we walked to our room,"Sorry"I said sitting on our bed,"For what?"He said laying next to me"For wanting to go to bed"I said quitely,He sat up and said"You don't have to be sorry,I'd rather be here with you then down there Drinking a pepsi float",I smiled"Are you sure?"I said,He laughed"Of course I'm sure"He smiled and kissed my cheek,His lips were so soft"You should go to sleep"He said,I yawned and layed down"I love you"He said as he kissed my forehead,I smiled"I love you too"I said smiling,He was smiling too"Goodnight"He said quietly,I kissed him and closed my eyes I could feel him putting his arm around me,I love nights like this,when its just me and him alone with nothing to worry about nothing to care about, just me and him
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Old 07/30/06, 01:11 AM   #2
I don't like bugs!
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Default Re: \~@*=.:+~Passionatly In Love~+:.=*@~/

1. You spelled "Passionately" wrong in the title.

2. The enter key is your friend.

3. Grammar is important.

4. That was way too short to be considered a chapter.

Good luck.
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Old 07/30/06, 01:26 AM   #3
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Default Re: \~@*=.:+~Passionatly In Love~+:.=*@~/

it was good,i liked it.ignore pickles flame,i had no prob reading that.though i fail at understanding the plot.is it romance?
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Old 07/30/06, 01:33 AM   #4
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Default Re: \~@*=.:+~Passionatly In Love~+:.=*@~/

...Pickle went easy on you.

Even with grammar, it's only a few paragraphs. There's no plot, spelling is off, no grammar... There isn't anything here but a poorly written cuddle session.
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Old 07/30/06, 01:34 AM   #5
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Default Re: \~@*=.:+~Passionatly In Love~+:.=*@~/

^Wow. A smart person. The person above them had grammar worse than the actual chap's.

It was hardly a flame. It was constructive criticism. >_>
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