My first fan-fic story- feedback and thoughts

[Shadukai X]

This is based on some theories I've heard and I wanted some feedback on what I have so far, so please tell me what you think so far, and if i should continue this....

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Prelude

The sun had risen, and dew from the previous night had settled on a tent. The morning was peaceful, every morning was. Sora awoke from his makeshift bed in the tent, and slowly forced himself up. As he did, a sharp pain hit his shoulder, it was sore, again. It was always sore from the previous nights battles. Sora wished for the day that he would wake up without it. He wished that day would come, but today wasn’t it.

As he exited his tent, and soonafter noticed everyone was awake. He overslept again. As general, he knew that none of his soldiers would force him awake. He kinda hated it. Sora began to walk across the camp, glancing at a fellow keyblader polsihing his armour. He saw a group settled around a campfire, making breakfast. “May I join?” he asked, knowing they would say yes anyway. “Of course, sir.” said a boy named Rhey.

Rhey was small, and outgoing. He was a near close friend of Sora’s, ever since the war started, and it wasn’t long ago that Sora asked him to be the leader of Oath Unit, a group of elite Keybladers. Rhey never considered himself having the responsibility of a unit leader, but accepted Sora’s offer anyway.

It was quiet for a minute, until a soldier got the courage to ask, “Wa-what’s the plan today, General?”

Sora paused, afraid to say, afraid that he would lower their morale. But he fought that fear and said it any way. “We ambush them today...”

“Ambush who?” asked Rhey.

“The enemy, of course.”

“Yes General, but WHICH enemy?”

“Ah, yes,” Sora said, “the Nobodies, a scout reported that they’re preparing to attack us, so we’re going to strike first.”

"How exactly, General?"

Confidently, Sora said, "demi attack, I've been wanting to try out this new weapon ever since we got it"

“And how many of us will be going, sir?” Rhey asked.

“As usual, me, Riku, you, and the Oath Unit. I suggest you inform them, Rhey, because we’re leaving soon.”
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[Katattack]

Hmm, well, you could use larger chapters. It seems like you got a little lazy towards the end. (I have trouble with that, too.)

Just don't get lazy, it'll be fine.

[Shadukai X]

well, i haven't really finished the chapter at all, I thought I should see if its good before I use more time on it

[Sterling_Silver]

I like this beginning, but put space between characters talking. It makes it easier to read dialogue, and makes chapters [appear] longer. [/cheating] xD

EDIT: Good job. ^-^

[Shadukai X]

Ok, let me fix that Right now

[Katattack]

That looks way better!

Drop by the Author's corner if you find you're having trouble; it's stickied.

[Shadukai X]

Could everyone please vote on the poll? It would REALLY help me decide