Hilarious Fic. I Was Thinking of Writing.

[Thelonepickle]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The freaky thing is... Our schedules are all the same.

They teach other stuff at the school. It's not just about the music. You've got... Well, you've got...

Well, there's music THEORY, beginning piano... And there's... MUSIC THEORY. Music etymology (term meaning: Don't read no music? Here! Read dis music! We be teachin'! It be free!), and, um... MUSIC THEORY.

Fine, it's music oriented. There's just one other thing. Marching Band, Jazz Band, Symphonic Band (and concert for the babies), Music Theory, Music Etymology, Beginning Piano, and...

P.E.

You only have six classes at this school. Mine are: Beginning Piano, Music Theory, Marching Band, Symphonic Band, and Jazz Band. Save stupid "Music Etymology" for next year, got that?

You had to be a genius at your other school to get into this one-

Okay, so, Sora's father is the custodian, but C'MON! For the most part, you had to be a prodigy at your school to get here. I hated my other school. Now I'm here. It's pretty cool, I guess.

Anyway, first thing of the day, all of the Yasais go to P.E. class.

Now, you may not think that a sho... Shorrr... That a person of my stature isn't good at sports, but you are WRONG. I pwn P.E. I've got a high tolerance for pain, tons of strength, and I'm... Not that fast. I'm okay. Maybe I can't dunk it- Shaddup- but, man, I can steal the ball from you quicker than yer grandma from a liquor store.

And that's fast, judgin' by how stupid you are and how stupid yer mother must've been to smoke during pregnancy.

Oh, she didn't? Huh. Well, then. How'd ya get to be so... Special?

I'm just kidding. Probly. Problly... Pro...bab...al...leeeeee...

Anyway.

Today, we were climbing the rope.

I gotta tell you something about that stupid rope. It doesn't do anything. It doesn't help you. It doesn't teach you anything. It gives you splinters. But you don't get awesome endurance because of splinters. You get splinters because of splinters. I don't think the rope is supposed to do anything but make teachers laugh. I think the more assignments you fail to turn in, the longer the rope. The more... Splintery. I don't even know if that's a word, because those flam splinters probably sucked all the fluids out of my brain.

Another theory is that they're testing the strength of ropes for the army or something. You KNOW they always make the fat kid go first. I can just see 'em sittin' there.

"No, no. A new rope and the fat kid can't even make it up without the thing collapsing."

"Well, Johnson, that's not so bad."

"Boils are breaking out all over his hands, sir. It's really quite disturbing."

"Oh. Well... There's nothing that can be done. Kill the fat kid and reinforce the ropes with his blubber."

"Will that help, sir?"

"No, you fool. But it'll make it harder for those other kids to climb, and then they'll ALL fail the test! Laugh with me, Johnson, you fool!"

I hate the man, man.

Gerard stared up at the rope. "I think they use old army ropes for this. The defected ones. It can't be healthy. I'm going to file a complaint."

Amme punched Gerard in the shoulder. He started sobbing immediately.

Mr. C came over. "Is the C for Coach?" Gerard sniffed hopefully.

"No, son. No, it's not."

"Oh." Gerard looked disappointed.

"Now, climb that rope before tinkerbell beats you to it, silly!" Mr. C said much too cheerily.

Gerard looked around. "Um... Okay, but... Could you look away?"

I sighed. I knew what this meant. Mr. C looked away, confused. "Gerard!" I hissed. "I don't wanna do this!"

"Too late!" Gerard said, shoving a black wig on my head. It was ten inches longer than his hair was. I grabbed a lock of his and pointed at the long tresses of the wig's.

"A guy can dream, can't he?!" He asked, dreamily. I sighed, put on the wig, and scampered up the rope.

And I hate scampering.

I ran back down, threw off the wig, and Gerard tapped the coach on the shoulder. The questionable man did a double-take.

"Very good, Geraldine! There's no way that I can prove that you actually climbed it, but how can I say no to that adorable penguin button you're wearing?"

Gerard scowled at the name and rubbed his precious "Me and My Pengy" button. Then, turning away, he said, "Pickle's turn!"

I scowled at him. Fat kid's rope snapped in half as he attempted to grab hold of it and start climbing. Sighing, I muttered, "I hate you."

~-~

When P.E. was over, it was our first day of Band. I love band. The sad thing was, Mr. C thought it would be good if we talked about our problems first. I personally have no idea how this has anything to do with band, but apparently, that's why I'm not a band director.

That's okay. Nobody listens to the band director.

"Okay," Mr. C said, "let's talk about what makes our heart sad inside. Like the heart feels like it has to go buy candy or drugs to feel better."

"That is just wrong, man," Asuka said. "Candy kills."

"Yeah. And I'm pretty sure, like, it's bad for your fingernails or something, like, ya, like, ya know? Question mark question mark question mark?" Yuna added.

"Yuna, it isn't necessary for you to actually SAY question mar-" Amme started, but Yuna wasn't through.

"Q-U-4-I-S-U-C-1-E-S-T-S-H-E-N-M-R-K?" Yuna asked. Amme stared.

"You really don't know what it's like to have a brain, do you?"

"At least I have my looks."

"Well, now, that's what wins the Nobel Prize, isn't it?" I asked, glaring into Yuna's eyes. She still hadn't put in that other contact. The idiot.

"Well, at least half of my head isn't all blurry and fuzzy!" Yuna retorted.

"Mine neither!" Asuka said hurriedly.

Amme squinted. "You're missing a contact lense."

"OH MY GEE-OH-ELL! DO I NEED SURGERY?!" Yuna cried, latching onto Gerard. Gerard gasped, reaching out towards Rikku.

"Forgive meeeeeeee!" He cried out. Rikku stared blankly.

"...Okay..."

"SHUT. UP." I yelled out suddenly. I couldn't take anymore. And that's when the real fun started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry it was so short. I g2g.

[Cloud_Unchained]

TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY!?

I ISH APPALLED!

But thanks.

:3

And I don't have a wig. Sorta. Kinda....

No.

>_> <_<

[Katattack]

*Is rereading to search for the real fun*

I wanna know what the real fun is!!!

WHAT'S THE FUN?!

Updart.

[Krazy]

GASPZORZ! Hilarious updarts, Pickle! I had to stifle my laughter because teh Muffin Cadet was trying to nappie.

Nap.

Yeah.

And I almost fell off my chair in doing so.

...BACK TO KH2! *leaps away*

[Thelonepickle]

Time to udpart again. Cause I feel so noice.

~~~@!~OUI#@!LOOKATTHEPRETTYSYMBOLSANDLAUGH!@#$!@O#IUO~!@~~~~

"Can we just tune our instruments, please?" Amme asked. She was getting severely ticked off, but she still played peace-maker.

I'm kind of... Not so skilled in that aspect. Psh.

"Well... I suppose so. Young Kyuuri, why don't you tune them?" Mr. C. inquired hopefully. I stared at him like he was crazy. Which he was!

"I'm a percussionist. We don't... We don't tune," I tried to explain. He started to glare.

"My psychiatrist said that this would be an excellent time for some positive reinforcement. But I don't pay him five thousand dollars a month to tell me what to do, so I am just going to have to yell at you," the idiot stated. "Now, if you do not tune the other instruments, I am going to have to give you a warning."

I rolled my eyes. Silver shared an annoyed look with me. That's how the Yasais bond. We glare at things. "Oh, no," I said flatly. "A warning."

Still, I grabbed the little baton-like... baton, and I swung it in the air expertly. I like to pretend it's a little sword.

"Now, you, trumpets. You tune. Getcher instruments out before I- Yes, that's good. Now, you first, ugly. No, you. You're ugly. He's pimpley- hey, are you gonna complain, or are you gonna tune? Idiot. Well, you're flat. Way flat. You next. You're off, you're sharp, you're flat, you're stupid, stupid, stupid stupid stupid, and you're flat. Kat, you're perfect. Unfortunately."

And so it went on and on, until we got to the flutes.

Ya know, Gerard was almost a male flute. But then we smashed his head in with a hammer. And, I dunno, trombone kinda just... Clicked after that.

"Flutes. Tune yerselves. I don't like you," I said, ya know, completely reasonably. But Yuna got herself into a huff.

"Why don't you like flutes? Just because we're prettier than you are?" The witch folded her arms, eye watering slightly because of the difference in sight levels.

OH. LOOKS. I SO CARE. Allow me to go have an emotional break down-

Oh, WAIT. I'm NOT stupid. THAT'S right...

"Yuna, to be honest, I really don't care about looks. However, you are getting a zit above your eyebrow," I retorted, taking my seat with the other percussionists as Yuna and Asuka started to perform surgery.

The other percussionists looked... Less than marvelous. Wakka, Cloud, Kanynt, Hollow, and Allecto. Wow. How... Less than fantastic. At least Silver would be switching from Trombone to snare sometimes.

"Section leader," I said immediately. Cloud looked up in protest, and the others voiced their complaints. I held up a hand.

"C'mon, Kyuuri! You can't just-"

"-Section leader."

"That's really not fair-"

"-SECTION LEADER."

"I CUT MYSELF-"

"-GERARD! SHUT UP!" I said, as Section Leader of the Percussion Section. The others looked helplessly at one another and shrugged. It was going to be a great year, I guess. Still, I wondered how things were going in the other sections.

Kat:

"SECTION LEADER! I'M SECTION LEADER!" The other trumpets snarled at me as I said this. They were kind of scary, but Pickle didn't raise no fools-

What?

Anyway, I called section leader. The other trumpets shrugged and started to establish the pecking order. They fiercely and proudly marched up to each other, demanding, "What's your range?!" and holding contests for who could hold out the highest note for the longest time.

Someone was engaging in a spit-valve contest to see just how much effort the other was putting into their trumpet playing. Two children thought it would be a good idea to butt heads, as if that would decide who got to be next.

It was hard being a trumpeter, but darn it, I'll do it well-

OH MY GOSH, TRUMPADON! I left him on the chair... Unprotected... And so shiney... I have to admit:

I love that thing more than my family. But don't tell! Quickly, I ran to Trumpadon, Silver Belled Gift From the Heavens, and I grabbed him, hissing at the other, unworthy trumpet players. They only had brass trumpets, and that couldn't beat anything in this world. So, ha.

Gerard and Silver:

"I'M SECTION LEADER!" Gerard called out, dancing in circles around his trombone's upright case. The other trombones looked to Silver.

"No," he said flatly. "I am."

"But-" Gerard started.

"-No," muttered Silver.

"I wanna-"

"-No," Silver insisted.

"If you don't let me, Pickle'll-"

"-Give me a medal," Silver retorted expertly. The other trombones smirked, pleased with the results of this battle. Gerard, however, felt the need to play drama-llama.

"Fine!" Gerard exclaimed, twirling in circles and faking a fall. "I'll just... Die here!" He debated throwing a tantrum until-

"GERARD! YOU HIT THAT CARPET ONE TIME AND I SWEAR I WILL-"

Diving into an imaginery bunker, Gerard sobbed behind his hands. "I'll be good!"


Yuna.

"Gerard is totally the cutest most sensitive guy ever!" Yuna cooed, clasping her hands together in a girly fashion. "Don't you think?!"

Asuka nodded quickly. "Yes. I agree."

"Back off!" Yuna snarled. "He's totally mine!"

Asuka bowed down to Yuna, literally kissing her feet and begging forgiveness. Yuna flipped her hair and filed her nails, flute on her lap.

"You better watch your step, Asuka," Yuna warned. "You could be replaced like that-" Yuna tried to snap her fingers. She failed miserably. Using her other hand, she aligned her thumb and index finger, making a popping noise with her mouth. "Like that!"

Sora's face brightened as he applied blush and lipgloss to his face. Yuna crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. "Sora could easily replace you as my second in command. He definitely knows more about shopping!"

Asuka bowed her head. She secretly swore to get Gerard in her manicured fangirl claws one day, no matter what it took. Yuna sighed. "It's okay, Asuka. As long as you know who's the best here."

Asuka nodded, tending to her flute. Sora instantly started to paint Yuna's toenails blue.

Rikku:

"All those girls like Gerard," Rikku murmered. Megan looked at her in amazement.

"Gerard?" Megan questioned in disbelief. "He's... Too brothery."

Rikku stared appraisingly at the boy waving to her from behind his trombone. "He's nice, though."

"He's a hopeless romantic, that's for shiznap," Megan commented. "Rikku, if anyone's got a chance, it's you!"

Amme nodded enthusiastically, but she went back to her book. Piano players were littered about the band, not really listening as Mr. C passed out music.

--PICKLENESS YEAH!--

Gah. Five minutes till lunch. Lunch was two hours here. TWO HOURS! Marvelous, no? I love it. Lunch is so good... But then... The unthinkable.

((I'll finish this some other time. XP))

[Krazy]

"He's a hopeless romantic, that's for shiznap." *falls of chair*

z0mg, that was the pwnage, Pickle. xDD *clutches to PS2 controller* Sorrah, not here, I'm obsessed with KH2 all over again. D:

*huggles shiznap*

[Katattack]

>.< Updart Soon, Pickley! Dun leave meh hangin'!

[Sterling_Silver]

PICKLE. YOU MUST UPDART. THIS IS SO AWESOME. xD updart soon Pickle, please. =D i have to laugh at Sara and Gerd!

[Cloud_Unchained]

Yeah! Update!

Like you said you would.

;-;

[Krazy]

I second the notion! =D

Motion... notion....

*dives back into super secret dirty gutter of secret ... ism*

[GuardianOfHearts]

*looks up as Krazy dives into the gutter* Welcome back. =D

*glances shiftily around and scrambles back out before anyone notices she was there* <.<; ;>.>

I want this updated too, but I want Hollow Hearts updated more. Particularly because it's on my C2.

Please? :3

*goes to type out her own chapters*

[Sterling_Silver]

Wait. I have a super brilliant idea:

YOU ALL UPDART.

Whoa. Stroke of brilliance, hm? How about as a birthday present? For meh?

[KHeart_beat_*]

That's so funny!!!!!!!! >_<

[GuardianOfHearts]

Wait. I have a super brilliant idea:

YOU ALL UPDART.

Whoa. Stroke of brilliance, hm? How about as a birthday present? For meh?

...meh. I'm tryin'. AM's getting totally revamped.

I forgot; your birthday. Now what am I gonna give you?! ;~;

Get on AIM. :3

[Ruki]

I think my head just fell off from laughing. Let me check.

*Looks at the floor and sees head*

Yep, I have no clue how I'm typing this but I should be doing homework. Whatever. Updart! Quickly! If you don't I may start to understand.