Kingdom heart 2

Lil_RiKu · 12/21/05, 08:10 PM

“I casted my body for darkness.The perfect dark warrior Riku somehow escaped my powerful hold over him.I almost had him in castle oblivion.If it wasn’t for Mickey mouse that jackass!!!
I shall control Mickey,Riku,and that brat Sora.I am Ansem,the great ruler of darkness.My warriors shall capture the hearts of those fools.If they fail again I will crush them.I shall revive Vexan,Larxene,and Lexaeus.Marluxia needs to be brain washed he is alive somewhere.Sora didn’t kill him.”said Ansem.

Nick’s chapter 1
“I keep on having Weird dreams about a boy who fights shadows with a key like blade.But then one night I had very weird dream it felt real.what happened was,I was hearing a voice.the voice told me that this was the test of my courage.He gave me a sword to use for my task.The sword gave off a silver glow.He told me not to get fond with the sword.I didn’t understand him.I was on a circular platform with nothing but darkness around me”.suddenly a light shines on Nick.He suddenly sees his shadow.But it isn’t his,it is the boy from his dreams,and the shadow is white.The white shadow attacks him.He hits Nick in the right abdomen with his blade,then in the right leg,and then on the right arm.Nick falls down on the ground,Nick gets up and kicks the shadow in the legs,he then slashes the shadow in the left arm with the silver sword,he then slashes the shadow five times in the neck.the white shadow dissapeers.”Nick wake up”said a girl’s voice.
“Oh hi Oret.What time is it?”said Nick
“Your gonna be late Nick,it is 12:00 pm.You will be fired for sure.Oh yeah,Red tigers are in the Struggle.” said Oret

Nick puts on his helmet and takes out his skateboard

Mr. · 12/21/05, 09:14 PM

Umm...I can't barely understand it, and there's no use of periods and commas and paragraphs. O__o
And Ansem would never call Mickey Mouse a jackass. It's like Voldemort insulting Dumbledore. It will never happen. EVER. XD And if it did, Dumbledore would kill him. BAD. XD
And it's just kinda unorganized. Try to put paragraphs and commas some more, and periods. Spellcheck helps, too.

12/21/05, 08:10 PM	#1
Lil_RiKu Ruler of Light Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: miami florida Age: 21 Posts: 527 Rep Power: 0	Kingdom heart 2 “I casted my body for darkness.The perfect dark warrior Riku somehow escaped my powerful hold over him.I almost had him in castle oblivion.If it wasn’t for Mickey mouse that jackass!!! I shall control Mickey,Riku,and that brat Sora.I am Ansem,the great ruler of darkness.My warriors shall capture the hearts of those fools.If they fail again I will crush them.I shall revive Vexan,Larxene,and Lexaeus.Marluxia needs to be brain washed he is alive somewhere.Sora didn’t kill him.”said Ansem. Nick’s chapter 1 “I keep on having Weird dreams about a boy who fights shadows with a key like blade.But then one night I had very weird dream it felt real.what happened was,I was hearing a voice.the voice told me that this was the test of my courage.He gave me a sword to use for my task.The sword gave off a silver glow.He told me not to get fond with the sword.I didn’t understand him.I was on a circular platform with nothing but darkness around me”.suddenly a light shines on Nick.He suddenly sees his shadow.But it isn’t his,it is the boy from his dreams,and the shadow is white.The white shadow attacks him.He hits Nick in the right abdomen with his blade,then in the right leg,and then on the right arm.Nick falls down on the ground,Nick gets up and kicks the shadow in the legs,he then slashes the shadow in the left arm with the silver sword,he then slashes the shadow five times in the neck.the white shadow dissapeers.”Nick wake up”said a girl’s voice. “Oh hi Oret.What time is it?”said Nick “Your gonna be late Nick,it is 12:00 pm.You will be fired for sure.Oh yeah,Red tigers are in the Struggle.” said Oret Nick puts on his helmet and takes out his skateboard

12/21/05, 09:14 PM	#2
Mr. Twilight Knight Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Being Smurfy, babe. ;D Posts: 904 Rep Power: 4	Re: Kingdom heart 2 Umm...I can't barely understand it, and there's no use of periods and commas and paragraphs. O__o And Ansem would never call Mickey Mouse a jackass. It's like Voldemort insulting Dumbledore. It will never happen. EVER. XD And if it did, Dumbledore would kill him. BAD. XD And it's just kinda unorganized. Try to put paragraphs and commas some more, and periods. Spellcheck helps, too.

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