Dirge of The Aquatic Knight [Azrael]

[killer kung fu wolf bitch]

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Curryman Productions present

A

Kingdom Hearts Fan-Fiction

Title:
Dirge of The Aquatic Knight
POV:
Third person
Author:
Azrael
Genre: Adventure
Summary:
Mix Kingdom Hearts with Renaissance Age Europe and add Aqua plus a Force Unleashed inspired plot!
Well, why don't you find out and make the judge of it.

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It was dark and creepy in the Chamber but then again, The Castle was a dark and creepy place. Yet in contrast to the other rooms in the castle that offered illumination via a lamp, this room brought light forwards in a different manner. How one may ask? The answer came when the chamber's entrance door slid open and a figure dressed in nothing but a black coat that covered his face and body walked by. As he walked into the room, the black thorns and nobody symbols lit up with light following the hooded figure until he placed his hand on the throne and sat down.

Releasing a soft sigh, the hooded figure in black lowered his head then to raise his head again. He looked at a nobody embelm which brought back a memory.

*Flash*

The hooded man was in the middle of an arid, grassless desert where nothing asides from plateaus and canyons surrounded him. He felt strange in being here, almost like that he's been there before...perhaps during the time that was his unknown past? Though he could sense that his memories were in accordance with this desert world, nothing specific came up so for an answer, he looked onto what looked like an battle that was about to escalate against two equally powerful individuals. Two individuals who for some reason he felt some connection to.

"I should've known that you would come here." spoke the old bald man in a black and white cloak ever so eloquently. "Cross the barrier between the light and dark to my origin! I'm tired of waiting for you Terra!"

The brunet male encased in an armored suit shook his head. "No....I have a friend." He moved his right arm from his chest towards the direction of a desert bush and a plateau just behind it. Small particles of light and dark circulated the man's arm. Seconds passed as the particles began circulating in a more rapid motion and took the spectral form of what looked like a giant Key which materialized into form, held by the young man's hands. "Answer me Master Xehanort! What have you done to his heart!"

*Flash*

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Lord Xemnas." addressed the blue-haired man. "I've received a message from one of those Dusks several minutes ago. I've taken that you need my presence my lord about the Replicas?"

"Indeed, So there's no point in explaining much to you." Xemnas responded as he turned his head. "Your abilities have matured. I've noticed this and I am impressed, more so than some among my colleagues. Yet the time has come to put all that you've learned to the test and only then will I accept you as a true comrade to our cause." He stood up from the throne and walked around it towards where Saix was, remaining in his kneeling position. "It seems that despite their unstable compositions, one specimen out of all has stabilized and survived past expected life expectancy. It's unfortunate enough that the rest we were compelled to abort them but it's horrendous imagining the one functioning doll to be out of our hands."

"Is that so?" Saix said sounding interested. "I wasn't aware that one survived." I wasn't told that information from Vexen. Gr. He kept some things hidden from me...as I expected. Bastard crone. Upon thinking about that chilly academic, he swore that he would strangle that man once his business with lord Xemnas was done though he doubted that. He had an idea where this conversation was headed and knowing it made him all the more curious. Regardless...who would've imagined it? A living doll but ofwhat? His curiosity compelled the blue-haired man to want to know and so he asked. "What's it made of?"

"And ruin the suspense, Number VII?" Xemnas responded jokingly with a smile but his pretense at a jovial expression transformed into a grim look on his face. "I'm afraid that information is classified to neophytes."

Saix was, to admit it, frustrated from this answer. Just what I expected. No surprise there. After all, this sort of answer was typical of Xemnas being the enigmatic individual full of mysteries that he was. He didn't wish to press the issue any further in the small but still possible chance that Xemnas would be annoyed if not frustrated to the point that he dismissed him or worse kill him as he always threatened when someone happens to screw up badly on an assignment. Saix preferred to play along, considering he (and his best friend Lea...Axel) had been members only for six months and upon doing so, he moved his head up and down and calmly said. "Fair enough. It was out of my place to ask. Please forgive me for my error."

"No need to beg for it. I am devoid of emotions to call my own, thus making it impossible for me to feel anger and hatred towards you." Xemnas motioned the blue-haired man to stop bowing and get up which if he planned on continuing to live, Saix would obey. And not surprisingly, the blue haired man obeyed his superior and stood up. "Now then enough. I was providing you some more background information when you decided to interrupt me." snarled Xemnas at the blue haired man standing in front of him.

He was intelligent and despite being a hot-head, he kept his cool as he knew that if anyone could kill him, lord Xemnas could and would do so without any hesitation.

The Luna Diviner silent; Xemnas took it upon himself explaining the assignment. "I've sent countless agents across the continent for the past few weeks and much to our good fortune, I am able to provide you the exact location where it's currently hiding. At a region in southern Spain named Andalusia, lies a barely known place known as the Land of Departure. It's believed that's where she's at. Your mission is to bring the doll to me by any means necessary. Kill anyone who stands in your way if you must."

"It shall be done lord Xemnas." said Saix. "Your will is my command."

With her back, I'll only need to bring back...him to make me whole... Xemnas looked over at Saix and frowned. “I can trust that you have the sufficient capabilities to handle the girl?"

“Of course. I'm sure I can finish this mission of yours quite easily. It's no challenge to me." Saix smiled a sinister grin as he placed his hand on the wall causing a small dark swirl to appear. "After all lord Xemnas, how difficult could it be to apprehend a mere doll? I may not know everything about this doll nor the rest but even if she knows how to fight, I'll make sure that she'll be returned to you though I hope to expect some reward for doing this deed of yours milord..." That being said, the swirl had matured to a fully developed corridor and waving his hand good-bye to his liege, he immersed into the portal and departed for where the doll was believed to be hiding at, a place called the Land of Departure.

Once Saix departed in his corridor of darkness, Xemnas sat back down and looked back up at the symbol that he was looking at previously before. Should he keep his word and succeed in retrieving her back to me, it will leave me one step closer to become whole once again. By having you all re-united with me...just like the old times. You, her and me....shall be one. Summoning a corridor, he departed to unknown parts...

Fin.

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[Snow]

Oooohh. Kind of mysterious. And hooray for replicas!

[TwilightRiku_13]

Oh man, this is a really good start ot your story. I wonder if Saix knows what he is getting himself into. I have a feeling that he might be in for a big suprise while dealing with this doll; I really can't see this doll being a pushover. Anyway, great start, and I look forward to more.

[Chaos]

damm that scary wait he talking about ino and ben right if i'm correct

its good and very mysteries

[killer kung fu wolf bitch]

Originally Posted by Chaos

damm that scary wait he talking about ino and ben right if i'm correct

its good and very mysteries

This is approximately twenty years prior to Dawn so no Benjamin or Ino.

[Crimson Jazz]

Honestly, I don't have anything bad to say about this, bro. It was very good, from start to finish. All I hope for is more. I'll be waiting for the next chapter to see where Xemnas is going and see how you're going to mix this in with Renaissance-era Europe.

[Ragnell 37]

First of all, neat story. Very mysterious. Does this have anything to do with your other story? I haven't read that one, so should I start there, or doesn't it matter?

Below are my criticisms. The red marks correspond to my critiques after each section. Sorry I didn't finish the chapter; I'll try to do the rest tomorrow.

Originally Posted by Azrael

It was dark and creepy in the Chamber1 but then again, 2The Castle was a dark and creepy place. Yet in contrast to the other rooms in the castle that offered illumination via a lamp, this room brought light forwards in a different manner. 3How one may ask? The answer came when the chamber's entrance door slid open and a figure dressed in nothing but a black coat that covered his face and body walked by. As he walked into the room, the black thorns and nobody symbols lit up with light following the hooded figure until he placed his hand on the throne and sat down.

Releasing a soft sigh, the hooded figure in black 4lowered his head then to raise his head again. He looked at a nobody 5embelm which brought back a memory.

1 I think you need to add a comma or period
2 Is The Castle the name of the castle? If not, then it shouldn't be capitalized.
3 How,
4 Doesn't sound good; I would suggest, 'lowered his head and then raised it again'
5 emblem

*Flash*

The hooded man was in the middle of an arid, 1grassless desert2 where nothing asides from plateaus and canyons surrounded him. 3He felt strange in being here, almost like that he's been there before...perhaps during the time that was his unknown past? Though he could sense that his memories were in accordance with this desert world, nothing specific came up so for an answer, 4he looked onto what looked like an battle that was about to escalate against two equally powerful individuals. 5Two individuals who for some reason he felt some connection to.

"I should've known that you would come here6." 7spoke the old bald man in a black and white cloak ever so eloquently. "Cross the barrier between the light and dark to my origin! I'm tired of waiting for you8 Terra!"

The brunet male encased in an armored suit shook his head. "No....I have a friend." He moved his right arm from his chest towards the direction of a desert bush and a plateau just behind it. Small particles of light and dark circulated the man's arm. Seconds passed as the particles began circulating in a more rapid motion and took the spectral form of what looked like a giant Key9 which materialized into form10, held by the young man's hands. "Answer me Master Xehanort! What have you done to his heart!"

1grass-less (I think)
2 comma after desert
3 I have no clue what exactly is wrong, but it should be something like, 'he felt strange being there, almost like he'd been there before'
4 I think it should be a new sentence, which should be something like, 'He looked onto what appeared to be a battle escalating between two equally powerful individuals.'
5 Two individuals whom, for some reason, he felt some connection to.
6 Oh, it's THIS mistake: the bane of all authors... lol, anyway, this needs to be a comma. You can't link a quote to a "he said"(dunno what it's technically called) with a period; you can only link them with a comma, exclamation point, or question mark.
7 Is spoke a word? If it is, ignore this, but said works just as well.
8 ,
9 ,
10 I'd delete the portion after the comma (and the comma) and just write 'in the young man's hands.'

[Zipporahss]

Nice story, this makes me curious and to be honest you've pulled off the real world setting with fictional charaters very well, for me those types of stories are the hardest, hm..... If this is your first fan fic I can only ask that you keep writing I can't tell you how many people start a story and never finish, so I encourage you to keep writing.

[killer kung fu wolf bitch]

Thanks for the reviews and I know that it's the hardest mixing real world and fantasy but this is different.

Chapter I will be released and all I can say is that our ten year old blue-haired bundle of joy and sexiness is going to confront her bully the Callous Vixen.

[madammina]

Ziz, you slipped back into Shakespeare again, that's my main complaint.

I'll keep an eye on it though. Should prove to be interesting, and I DO like Aqua.

[killer kung fu wolf bitch]

Originally Posted by madammina

Ziz, you slipped back into Shakespeare again, that's my main complaint.

I'll keep an eye on it though. Should prove to be interesting, and I DO like Aqua.

Saix and Xemnas are both members of considerable authority and thus would have some of that upper class flair. Get used to it.

[madammina]

Even in mental descriptions that render it hard to understand?

[killer kung fu wolf bitch]

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Chapter I:

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Hearing the harmonic, almost melodic chanting from the background, Aqua opened her eyes and turned her head leftwards to see if her master decided to take the afternoon off to match her match as she pleaded earlier to him earlier in the morning. I hope he fulfills his promise to me. After all, we shared it with those weird...star shaped fruit thingies...so that means he just has to! Right? She asked herself. There laid much increasing doubt whether he would come as promised in her heart yet a vestige of hope remained but who could blame her? Even after losing her parents to the plague and being left to rough it as an orphan beggar on the streets, her optimism never faltered and wouldn't start to falter just because of the chance that her master wouldn't be able to show up.

He might have came. I just need to...have...hope that he will come. Again for a second (and hopefully last time), Aqua looked amongst the members in the audience as her heart was driven by the hope that her own master whom she considered to be like a father, would keep his promise as said and come to see her in a match that she considered extremely important to her. In fact to her it was the biggest match in her life so far. Every master, even Xine, the great Buddhist master, had decided to abandon her daily routine of mediation and Spartan-like combat training to watch her own student participate in the match.

Try and try all she could, Aqua couldn't find him and that really hit the girl hard.

So master, you couldn't keep your promise. All you could've said to me was no and I wouldn't expect you to come at all. thought Aqua as she kept her head down. But you didn't say no, did you? Aqua tried to remain calm, especially in the presence of her opponent and the audience whose eyes were all on her. Seconds passed and she settled down. It doesn't matter. I still need to win. I have to win. With nobody supporting her, others would have quit but not Aqua, she was determined. Even without him, she still needed to prove her worth to the masters, and more importantly, the person that would be her opponent.

Turning her head, her eyes stared onto her opponent who tapped her foot patiently on the other side. In comparison, she was the same height as her though one could tell that the girl standing on the other side from Aqua's position was older by several years. For an adolescent girl, she was pretty short compared to the other females her age when it came to height and coming to the more feminine physical characteristics, Aqua's opponent was seriously lacking though that was compensated by the woman's lovely emerald eyes, white skin as soft as silk and blonde hair arranged into a single, neatly arranged braid.

When it came to attire, the young blonde girl was most certainly dressed to impress much in contrast to her adversary Aqua and everyone else save the masters for that matter. Her beautifully arranged blonde braids were covered by an abnormally enormous headdress. It was black in color and its design, much like the girl who was wearing it, was French assuming due the effort done to make it elaborate. On the top were three sapphire gemstones embroidered into the design. At the back of the headdress, there was a small white feather that constantly swayed around whenever the wind blew.

Her clothes were as elaborate as they were modest. It kept true to the medieval tradition that females should not show their physical features in front of any man unless it was your husband. The blonde girl's attire consisted of various items with the most prominent being a long cerulean gown that covered almost her entire body and arms if you counted the sleeves. It was worn over a undergown, with a linen smock worn next to the skin. It was of a high-waisted style with fullness over the belly, confined by a simple belt.

Aqua flinched a bit as she forced herself to look up at her adversary. That woman who much to her disdain was her opponent for the tourney's final match. Elenar De Sade was the name of that woman. Oh how she hated her so much! As to the reasons why, it involved reasons ranging from her being an bully who put people, especially her down, to her absolute disdain for committing to the annual almsgiving payment done voluntarily by the masters and grand masters to help feed the local downtrodden.

Her biggest complaint however was how Elenar treated her like crap.

Since the day master brought her here years ago, she took it upon herself to become her living nightmare, Elenar being there was the only reason of her ever considering leaving the Land, As every day coming to the stronghold, Elenar always electrocuted her with Thunder magic from some hidden location. In addition, she emphasized her being of noble lineage. Another thing is that she called her a muppet which irritated her to say the least especially she didn't know what it meant. It made little difference to her as she swore that this day that she would end the bullying by beating the crud out of her and end this once and for all.

"Aw! You poor baby!" she mocked. "Sounds like someone needs her mommy and daddy Oh wait! I forgot! You don't have parents, don't you? You're nothing more than street trash!"

Oh no! She didn't just go there! Aqua couldn't just do nothing this time around. Her pride and wouldn't allow her to ignore that comment of his go unpunished and plus she wasn't going to let her anyone like Elenar have the idea that he or she can mock her too. She's going to pay. thought the blue haired girl as she clenched her fist and swung it. "Why don't you shut up!" she screamed, drawing forth her weapon the Kingdom Key to her right hand and pointing the blade at him. "I'm tired of hearing you talk! Just fight me!"

Her curious blue eyes looked once again at Elenar and saw a confident glint on her opponent's emerald orbs. Though she was no expert in deciphering something as deceptive and complicated as the human heart considering that it was Elenar, she had a feeling that deep down, behind all that cold-hearted callousness was a little girl crying out for attention from others be it negative and positive. It sounded ridiculous but should it be true then young Aqua was more than willing to show Elenar's true colors to the audience. Justice needed to be served.

"If that's what you want, I'll be more than fucking ecstatic to kick your ass!" yelled Elenar.

Aqua grinned as she held the Kingdom Key in front of her. "Then shut up and start thinking!"

Elenar smiled. "I'm more than happy to!" Her hands sparkled as a twin set of kunai suddenly appeared.

Her curious blue eyes looked up towards Elenar who began firing lightning shots at her. Magic, be it in its most basic to the most powerful form possible, was easily deflected. Especially Thunder magic since all she did was allow the blade to bear the brunt of the damage as a lightning rod then issue out a command to re-direct the powered up attack right back at her adversary who was shocked. Her cheeks reddening and hands sparkling with electricity, more lightning attacks were sent her away and as before, got away with little damage. Either through deflecting the shots or using Kingdom Key as a bat and smack each one right back at her opponent.

"I'll make sure you'll regret thinking that you could beat me!" snarled Elenar. "Lightning!"

This time, Aqua decided to forgo usage of her weapon Kingdom Key in exchange for a display of her acrobatic skills to the audience who watched everything from the stands. Lightning was shot again at her direction. She jumped to her right, avoiding damage. Her fighting style usually involved her utilizing magic but this time around, she was using her cartwheels to dodge blasts. Elenar continued to fire lightning at her but fatigue was getting to the infamously nicknamed Callous Vixen as she paused and took a short moment to breathe.

Now this is my chance! Aqua thought as she tilted her head to her right arm and summoned the keyblade once more. This would be her moment when she would shine at and it would be a moment she wouldn't hesitating prolonging. Observing Elenar to be too distracted with catching her breath to offer a proper defense, she rushed towards her opponent with the Kingdom Key's crown teeth aimed for the girl's ribs. The distance between the two shortened more and more as time elasped until...

BAM!

"Ah!" yelped Elenar in pain as Aqua brushed past her, keyblade ripping through cloth and flesh.

Placing her hands over the bloody gash on her ribcage, Elenar tried to remain standing. She had not planned on tarnishing her tough as nails reputation and wanted to continue fighting or at least stall until Aqua herself would grow tired and fall in defeat. Elenar had lost too much blood by then to the injury and she fell down onto her knees until she whited out, causing her to fall backwards and crash her head down onto the ground much to the audience's surprise.

Who would've thought that the Callous Nymph would falter to a little girl like Aqua?

After the medics had picked up Elenar and sent her to the nearest hospital, Xine and the masters decided to spare some seconds to congratulate Aqua on her latest victory on the empty field.

"That was quite the performance you gave us, miss Montfort." said master Xine as she walked towards her. "I can say that I'm impressed with what you presented. You certainly displayed the talents of someone who in several years can imagine reaching past her expected potential and be promoted to the rank of Master."

"Thanks master Xine." Aqua said. "I appreciate it." She then lowered her head and sighed as her eyes stared onto the broken pavement. "But still...it would had been nice if master showed up."

"True." remarked master Xine. "Yet you must recognize that as Master, he and the rest of us for that matter have a responsibility to the world and its inhabitants. And sometimes that responsibility requires us, and in this case your master to go on mission assignments. He'll won't always have time to spend with you, you know? You may be like a daughter to him but he's still a public servant to the people and you need to respect that."

"..."

"Understood?"

"Yeah I suppose." said Aqua in a sad tone. "Don't worry. I guess I'll get over it."

Having nothing more to be said, Xine bowed her head and continued speaking. "Aqua, as much as I would like to continue our conversation, me and the other masters have important business to tend to. You know how it is. I'm sorry about your master though. I'll try to see where he may be. Okay?" Aqua didn't say much else, as she assumed that whatever business that she mentioned had to be important, asides from waving her hand as the masters departed for the door and exited, leaving her by herself

"Was lying to Aqua the only way?"

"I'm afraid so." responded Xine, speaking in a serious tone to the other masters. "The protection of this secluded location is far more in significance than a mere imitation of someone who's been for more than two centuries. There was no reason to risk the deaths of thousands just because our dear colleague has sympathy for her. It doesn't matter as it's out of our hands. Now it's Saix's turn to comply..."

Fin

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[madammina]

Ziz, SCRAP AQUA'S SHAKESPEARE AND POETIC FORM! If she is just "street trash" and you said twice (don't have people repeat verbatim insults, it sounds cheap) then she should talk more casually, like how she did for the end. Don't use orb's twice in a row, and if she is in the middle of a fight, why is she describing and navel gazing very poetically.


Two steps back, Ziz. But the cliffhanger was good. I'll keep an eye out, but so far this isn't shaping up to be one of my favorite works, or your best.

[killer kung fu wolf bitch]

Well I guess I will continue this. Although some refuse to provide proper criticism or even help at that.