Organization XIII: The V Files [Chapter 3 is Up, and the Comedy Begins]

Horizon's Knight · November 24th, 2009, 09:28 PM

Hello forum fri...
No, that Gildragon's line. Anyways, I came here to post this fanfic. It's about the Roxas finding out some sort of prophecy and he, Axel, and Zexion has to stop a guy named Vincent Kalwa from acting out the prophecy before it is too late. Also, Xion will be in it aswell, but is not quite what she used to be.

You see, my friend Vincent Kalwa made a story about him torturing Axel, Roxas, Zexion (because he uses a book as a weapon), Sora, and Riku. I basically added plot and action with his permission because his story file got deleted. The story is also slightly AU in some aspects like all of the CoM members being alive, but not completely AU. Anyways I hope you enjoy!:wink:

I almost forgot the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH, any of its characters, nor the following abillities. However, I do own the mysterious man that appears in this chapter. This story was also based off of my friend Vincent's unfinished story.
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Beginning of the Mess

Once, there was a peaceful town in the mitts of sunrise and sunset. In fact, it was like this way every day in this town. The people here are genuinely kind, and most would say this town was the perfect paradise…
Well, it seems that way at first glance. In fact, there was a giant monster chasing a teenage boy. The boy had spiky blonde hair that stuck up in the front and sides of his hair, and blue eyes. The boy wore a black coat, gloves, and shoes. His name was Roxas.

The creature behind him was one species of demonic beings called the Heartless. The Heartless are born from the Darkness from people’s Hearts, and obtain the heart they were born from as soon as they plunge another’s Heart into Darkness. This specific Heartless was a Crimson Jazz.

Roxas was supposed to eliminate this Heartless, as that was his job seeing as he is the only one in his group who could liberate the Hearts that the Heartless consume. This was because Roxas could weild the Keyblade, a weapon that frees Hearts and provides access to the Heart of any world. However, Roxas could not find it.

He ran from the tower station in order to find it so he could get this over with. However, Red Nocturnes surrounded Roxas in the middle of the Station Highlights. “Damn. I don’t have time for this.” Roxas cursed. He cast a Watera Spell on the Red Nocturnes using his hands. This caused a medium size wave to rush towards the Red Nocturnes and kill them. Grey Hearts then floated up into the sky, only to fade back into darkness.

Roxas kept running for his life. ‘I know my Keyblade has to be somewhere around here. I can’t have just disappeared too far. Otherwise, I might be able to summon it.’ Roxas thought. He kept looking for his Keyblade while dodging the mines and large mines aimed at him by the Crimson Jazz. Roxas was about to give up on the mission when he found his Keyblade in the alley of the Tram Common. At this time, the keychain attached to Roxas’ Keyblade was called the Kingdom Key+. ‘Few. I finally made it. Now where is big, fat, and red now?’ Roxas thought.

As if on cue, the Crimson Jazz appeared right in front of him. As soon as this happened, Roxas thought of some options he had left. ‘Let’s see what I have left. I have two Watera spells, one Fire spell, four Blizzara spells, and three Aerora spells. I also have 50AP left.’ Roxas suddenly got an idea. He dismissed the Kingdom Key and summoned Oathkeeper in his left hand, and Oblivion in his right. This reduced Roxas’ AP to be halved into 25AP. Roxas spun his Oathkeeper and threw it into the air. Before the Oathkeeper could hit him on the head, Roxas struck it at the last second, which caused a Pinwheel reaction.

Roxas shouted “Time to get soaked!” and blasted the Crimson Jazz with Aqua Splash, which cost one Fire spell, one Blizzara spell, and an Aerora spell. Then, Roxas spent 15AP and a Blizzara spell to use Heavenly Strike. The Crimson Jazz was killed and a Pink Heart floated up to the sky, signaling that the Heart was purified and that it would go to Kingdom Hearts. Roxas then dismissed the Oathkeeper and Oblivion Keyblades, thinking that the mission was done. However, something was not quite right.

Although the Crimson Jazz was defeated and its body turned into black smoke of darkness, that darkness did not fade. Instead, the darkness headed towards the Sandlot. ‘Oh no! Something very bad is about to happen. I just hope that this isn’t a Mary-Sue incident.’ Roxas thought. Roxas went to the Sandlot to find out what was going on, only to find that the darkness was being absorbed by the silhouette of a figure. Roxas could see the figure because that person was in the shade, but Roxas could tell that it was a man.

“Just who do YOU think you are mister?” Roxas screamed. The man replied “What does it matter to you Roxas, Key of Destiny?” Roxas was confused as to how the man would know that. “How do you know who I am? Why did you just absorb the darkness from that Heartless?” Roxas asked. The man sighed and answered “I have been watching you and you group for quite awhile, how you have no Hearts yet are able to function like a true being. I need that darkness in order to prevent becoming like your Organization. I’m lucky that I got a hold of that darkness before it disappeared.” Roxas sort of understood, but he had one question left.

“Why did you appear to me instead of retreating?” Only on reply left escaped the man’s lips. “Roxas, beware. The age of the V is upon us, and only you and your friends can stop it. You may also need extra help as well.” Before Roxas could ask the man who that extra help was, the man disappeared into a Corridor of Darkness.
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Roxas was sitting on top of the clock tower of Twilight Town, and eating Sea Salt Ice Cream with his best friend Axel. Axel had green eyes with upside-down green triangle tattoos under the eyes. Axel also had red hair that look like the spikes you would find on a porcupine, and wore the same clothes attire as Roxas.

Roxas looked very confused at that moment, so Axel asked “What’s the matter Roxas? Have the fan girls got to you again?” “No, Axel.” Roxas replied. There was silence for about a minute, and then Roxas spoke. “On today’s mission, the Crimson Jazz knocked my Keyblade all the way to the alley of the Tram Common. Once I beat it, this man somehow absorbed the darkness and…” “A man absorbed darkness?” Axel interrupted. “Who was this man Roxas?” “He didn’t say.” Roxas replied. Axel tried to get more info from Roxas. “Do you have any idea on what this guy looked like?” “I couldn’t see. He was in the shade.”

Roxas then continued after another minute of silence. “Somehow this guy knew about us Nobodies, and the fact that we are able to function without a Heart. However, that wasn’t the strange part.” It was true that Nobodies were only a Body and Soul without a Heart, but how could the man know so much about the Organization? Axel became more curious and urged Roxas to continue. Roxas said “This man was trying to warn the Organization about the “Age of the V” or something along those lines. He said we were the only ones to stop it and…”

“Wait! Did you just say the “Age of the V”?” Axel asked. Roxas nodded. Axel then spoke. “The “Age of the V” was a prophecy where Saix and I used to live before we became Nobodies. I just never thought this would come true.” Roxas then asked if Axel could tell him the prophecy, and Axel told him. The prophecy went like this:

The sun and the moon will part,
The moon becomes cold,
While the sun rekindles its spark with another.

The one who rules shall not be the real ruler,
Shall be overthrown by devious darkness,
While the light sleeps.

The dim light shall come with the ring,
as the person from its memories confuses it.
The devious darkness will face the power of the dim light,
but the outcome is of now unknown.

Roxas was amazed and asked “Axel, what should we do about this?” “We tell the Superior, and hope he can find a solution.”
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Roxas was having a very strange dream. It took place at the station in Twilight Town. However, he was walking above ground. A lesser Nobody that looked like giant Sora, his original self, floated before him. This Sora had large spiky brown hair, a red jacket, yellow gloves, a necklace that had a crown on it, red pants, and yellow shoes.

Roxas was staring at it confusingly. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-who are you? No, better yet, WHAT are you?” “I thought you would remember.” The Nobody/Sora Hybrid muttered under its breath. “What did you say?” Roxas asked. “I thought you would remember. Why don’t you remember me?” the Nobody/Sora hybrid said in a clearer tone. The voice of the Nobody/Sora Hybrid sounded like a cross between Sora, Kairi, and a robot.

Roxas was confused yet again. “What do you mean “Why don’t you remember me?”, because I’ve never even met you.” Roxas stated truthfully. The Nobody/Sora Hybrid then put his/her head down. “I guess you really don’t remember me.” He/She then clenched his/her fist and put his/her head up. “Well then, I guess it’s settled. I’LL JUST HAVE TO FORCE YOU TO REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Sudennly, a sphere of light formed around the Nobody/Sora Hybrid’s hands. The orb then launched straight towards Roxas. When the impact hit, Roxas woke up from that dream. Roxas looked around his bedroom, and sighed. “Who could have been so important to me that I would forget them?” Roxas asked himself. At that moment Roxas felt ashamed, or at least that was what his mind told him.

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The bolded words are those are going to be used whenever a weapon, Heartless, Nobody or spell first appears in the story. Also, that was not Xion's unexpected way of acting. That was just her original personallity within Roxas. I will also update on tuesday unless the chapter wasn't finished yet. Thanks for reading!

Edit: Can someone please post? I don't mind if this story isn't your cup of tea, or even a little bit of critique. Can someone please reply?

Horizon's Knight · December 20th, 2009, 08:44 PM

I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I have had no replies, but at least you read it. Also, my editor was very busy. Anyways, here is chapter 2.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters nor abillities in this story, and I don't own Vincent either, because owning real people is illegal.

Enjoy!:wink:
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When the Trouble Finally Starts

Roxas got out of bed, when he noticed a note on his bed.

Number XIII,
There will be a meeting at 12 O’clock sharp. Make sure to head there ON TIME, and not show up 5 minutes late like usual. This is a meeting that you WILL want to make it on time. I say this not just because it is of the upmost importance, or that you wouldn’t come due to it being boring. I am asking you to come because it involves the prophecy of the ‘Age of the V’ in my world that you stumbled upon through the words of a shrouded man. Please don’t be late again or the Superior will either have my head, or you might become a Dusk.
Sincerely,
Saïx

Roxas then looked at the time, and it said 11:00am. “Oh shit! I’m going to be late if I don’t hurry!” Roxas yelled to himself. Roxas took 10 minutes in the shower, 5 getting dressed in his uniform, took 15 minutes to eat brunch (a combination of breakfast and lunch), and got to the Gathering Place with fifteen minutes to spare.

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At twelve noon, every member of Organization XIII was at the Gathering Place. Organization XIII was a group of Nobodies who had the strongest Hearts. Thus, they were able to maintain human forms and memories of their past lives. Each person has had an anagram of the names of their past lives, and added an “X” to it. There were 13 members, hence the name. They were Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas. They were all given numbers to tell when they were all drafted in the Organization, not their rank in position. However, Vexen refused multiple times to accept that. Here are short descriptions of them:

Roxas
Number: XIII
Age: 15
Appearance:said in first chapter
Attribute: Light
Title: The Key of Destiny
Personality: Very serious, and laid back
Hobbies: Skateboarding, Video Games, Struggle, Fencing, Soccer, and eating Sea-Salt Ice Cream with Axel

Larxene
Number: XII
Age: 26
Appearance: bright, blonde hair is slicked back at her neck and about jaw-length, with two long strands styled into distinctive "antennae", and green eyes
Attribute: Lightning
Title: The Savage Nymph
Personality: Sadist that loves to toy with people and make them feel bad about themselves
Hobbies: Martial Arts, Teasing, Flirting, Fighting, Torture, and censored stuff

Marluxia
Number: XI
Age: 27
Appearance:shoulder-length and rose pink hair with ruffles, and blue eyes
Attribute: Nature
Title: The Graceful Assassin
Personality: Sneaky and violent
Hobbies: Gardening, Torture, Blaming others, and fighting

Luxord
Number: X
Age: 47
Appearance: platinum blond (almost white) hair is very short and worn in a Caesar cut, with blue eyes, and an earring on his left ear
Attribute: Time
Title: The Gambler of Fate
Personality: Tricky, Risk taker, Variable
Hobbies: Gambling, Drinking, Risk taking, and Solving puzzles

Demyx
Number: IX
Age: 23
Appearance: blue-green eyes and dirty-blond hair completely a mullet
Attribute: Water
Title: The Melodious Nocturne
Personality: Laid back, Low self esteem, and Lazy
Hobbies: Pulling Pranks, Playing his Sitar, and Singing

Axel
Number: VIII
Age: 36
Appearance: said in first chapter
Attribute: Fire
Title: The Flurry of Dancing Flames
Personality: Laid back, Sneaky, Calm, and Variable
Hobbies: Burning things, pulling pranks, Fighting, Exercise, and eating Sea-Salt Ice Cream with Roxas

Saïx
Number: VII
Age: 36
Appearance: long blue hair with golden eyes and ear studs
Attribute: Moon
Title: The Luna Diviner
Personality: Cold, Calm, Heartless, Loyal(?), and Angry (under moonlight only)
Hobbies: None

Zexion
Number: VI
Age: 20
Appearance: Steel-blue hair that covers right eye, and blue-green eyes
Attribute: Illusion
Title: The Cloaked Schemer
Personality: Strict, Calm, Anti-Social, and Studious
Hobbies: Reading, Learning, and Solving puzzles

Lexaeus
Number: V
Age: 36
Appearance: auburn hair with jagged spikes, and blue eyes
Attribute: Earth
Title: The Silent Hero
Personality: Strict, Silent, Calm, and Angry (when provoked)
Hobbies: Fighting and Exercise

Vexen
Number: IV
Age: 48
Appearance: Long platinum-blond hair, with bright-green eyes
Attribute: Ice
Title: The Chilly Academic
Personality: Intelligent, Cowardly, Cold
Hobbies: Experiments and Solving puzzles

Xaldin
Number: III
Age: 39
Appearance: Long-black hair tied into dreadlocks, and brown eyes
Attribute: Wind
Title: The Whirlwind Lancer
Personality: Heartless, Angry, and Manipulative
Hobbies: Toying with others and Fighting

Xigbar
Number: II
Age: 38
Appearance: Long-black hair with gray streaks tied in a ponytail, a golden left eye, and a scar and eye patch where his right eye should be
Attribute: Space
Title: The Freeshooter
Personality: Laid back, Aloof, Sneaky, and Alert
Hobbies: Pulling pranks, Hunting, Spying on others, and Telling jokes

Xemnas
Number: I
Age: 36
Appearance: Long grey hair, amber-golden eyes, and dark sking
Attribute: Nothingness
Title: The Superior
Personality: Cold, Manipulative, Intelligent, and Very void of emotion
Hobbies: None

Now, let’s get back to the story. Xemnas was about to begin a speech. “My fellow Nobodies, You have all came here today for something really important. First, Roxas has finally shown up to a meeting on-time.” Roxas just gave a nervous smile and wave. “Enough about that, as this is not why I have summoned you here today. Roxas has stumbled across a very important prophecy yesterday. It is from Saïx’s and Axel’s world, and it seems we have been brought into the prophecy as well.” This perked up all the members to Xemnas’ full attention, and it even got Demyx interested.

Xemnas continued his speech once he was curtain all of the members were listening. “Roxas came across a man whose identity is unknown that told him we were the only ones who could stop the “Age of the V”. However, we do not know how this man’s is involved, but he could become a potential threat seeing as he absorbed the darkness from a Heartless. So, Vexen has been kind enough for us to track down a similar strain of darkness like the one the man had.”

The audience of Organization XIII members turned their attention to Vexen. “Thank you Superior. This has taken me all night to accomplish. This strain of darkness is very rare, and it was so difficult to find that I had to browse…” “Just get on with it old man.” Marluxia interrupted. Vexen sighed and then continued. “The new world this strain of darkness is coming from is called “Husky Nation”. We are not sure where the darkness is, as everything with that world seems normal. However looks can be deciving.”

“Thank you for the information” Xemnas told Vexen. “Now we need three members to go to this new world for reconnaissance. Normally, I would only ask two members to go on a mission. However, we may need one more to be able to request backup if things get too difficult. After all, this might be the biggest mission we have ever done. Who is willing to rise to the challenge?”

Most of the members remained silent. All of a sudden, the voice of the Nobody/Sora Hybrid rang in Roxas’ head “Go to the mission Roxas. Do it, then you will remember me.” Roxas grasped his head in pain. “No, I can’t give in to you.” Roxas thought. “Remember me. I was your best friend, so why can’t you remember me?” The voice hissed back. “I never even met you, so how can we be best friends? Besides, Axel is my best friend.” Roxas replied. “He is mine too, so remember me.” The voice replied back. The members stared at Roxas, wondering what was going on.

“Remember me.” “No.” “Remember me.” “No.” “Remember me.” “No.” “Remember me.” “No.” “I told you to remember me, NOW!” “NO!” Roxas finally shouted. “I WILL NEVER REMEMBER YOU!!!!!! I NEVER EVEN MET YOU!!!!!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD NOW!!!!!!!!!! XEMNAS, SIGN ME, AXEL, AND ZEXION ON THIS MISSION, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Roxas shouted. Xemans sighed and gave in. “Alright, you, Axel, and Zexion will go the Husky Nation. Just don’t have that outburst again, Roxas.” With that being said, Axel, Zexion, and Roxas went to Husky Nation.

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When Roxas, Axel, and Zexion arrived at Husky Nation via Corridor of Darkness, It looked like a peaceful city. While there were tall buildings that were urban, it kept that rural feel by having lots of fields and crops in between areas. However, it was very cold as well. Roxas, Axel, and Zexion saw a dome-like building in front of them. It had a big sign saying “Otakon” on it. “Is Otakon some sort of holiday on this world, or a sort of festival?” Roxas asked. “A festival might be most accurate, as there are no more signs saying “Otakon” in this area.” Zexion replied. Axel said “Well, it might not be such a good idea to go in here, we wouldn’t want to get caught and inter…” Before Axel could finish his sentence, Roxas ran in the building. Axel sighed, and then followed Roxas along with Zexion.

Inside the building were a bunch of people dressed as Manga/Anime characters. “So, Otakon is when people dress as Manga/Anime characters? This reminds me of either a play or Holloween.” Roxas stated. Axel looked around the room, and saw some video game characters as well. “Well, well, well. It looks like there aren’t only Manga/Anime costumes, but also video game characters as well. I guess we might fit right into the crowd.” “Keep focus, Axel. We’re here to find an immense amount of darkness from a being, not play along with these people.” Zexion stated.

“Is there ANYONE who can defeat me? C’mon, surely there is a better opponent somewhere.” A fifteen year old voice said. Roxas, Axel, and Zexion looked up at the stage, where it seems there are people who fight as these characters. The person who spoke had a “Phantom of the Opera” type mask, as well as all black clothing with a black cape and smooth black hair to match. The person turned to the three Organization members, and said “I’ll fight that Roxas over there.” “Well, so much for blending in.” Roxas told Zexion. “Wish me luck.”

Roxas got up on the stage. “You got a name?” The Phantom to the Otakon asked. “Roxas.” Roxas replied. The Phantom of the Otakon looked confused and said “Wait. Do you actually believe that you’re a video game character?” Axel and Zexion hoped against hope that this teenager wouldn’t find out that this was the real Roxas. Roxas looked angry and said “Enough talk! Let’s fight you coward!”

Roxas took out his Keyblade in a flash of light, which caused some people in the audience to say “cool special effects.” or “very convincing”. The Phantom of the Otakon pulled out a wooden purple sword that had two blades forming a “V”. Roxas swung his Keyblade at the Phantom, and missed. “What’s the matter? You can’t hit me?” The Phantom of the Otakon taunted. Roxas swung again, with the same result. “C’mon. Can’t you put a bit more backbone to it?” Roxas had a flashback to something he didn’t think has ever happened.

A hooded figure came out of a Dark Corridor with Roxas. “Let’s go.” Roxas said. The companion did not reply.

“Come to think of it, what kind of person uses a giant key as a weapon anyways? No wonder you ended up with an evil group.” The Phantom of the Otakon says back in reality. Roxas gets another flashback.

“I’ve got to be someplace again today, so go ahead on without me.” Roxas told his cloaked compainion. “R…Roxas…” The companion replies. “Huh?” Roxas said surprised. This person had never talked before. “What did you say?” Roxas asked. “Your name…It’s…Roxas, isn’t it?” The companion asks. “Yeah, Xion. …That’s right.” Roxas answered.

Roxas snapped back to reality. All of a sudden, Roxas heard a roar outside. The audience went outside to see what was going on, as did Zexion and Axel. When Roxas tried to go outside to see what was going on, the Phantom interrupted. “Hey, come back here you spiky-haired coward. No wonder Namine isn’t in to you.” That not only set Roxas off, but something deep inside of him. Roxas was so enraged with anger, that it became an anger stronger than even a human. Roxas then kicked the Phantom of the Otakon in the balls, and left. However, the Phantom of the Otakon refused to be left behind, and followed Roxas secretly dispite his injury.

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Once everyone was outside, a giant Heartless could be seen. It looked like a Husky with green and white fur, black ice crystals from its back, and a Heartless Emblem on its belly. The crowed screamed in horror. Axel used a Firaga spell on the Heartless now called Proud Husky. However, this only angered it more. Roxas then got that voice in his head once again. “Remember me.” The voice hissed “No.” Roxas replied mentally. “You already did, at least partly. I’m Xion. REMEMBER ME MORE!!!!!!!!” Xion commanded.

Roxas kept fighting back, causing him to use up three Fire spells, and one Firaga spell to use Flare. This fireball launched onto the Proud Husky, make it fade into darkness, and release a mass amount of Pink Hearts. The crowed then cheered, and even the Phantom of the Otakon saw it. “So, that was the real Roxas? First the Heartless show up, and now him? This is going to screw up my plans big-time.” He thought.

Right then, Roxas’ eyes turned black, and his skin became grey. He started attacking Axel. “What’s wrong with you Roxas?” Axzel asked him. “You’re Axel, Roxas, and Zexion. You’re all real!!!” The Phantom of the Otakon replied. “I’ll cure that bastard.” He said. The Phantom of the Otakon then hit Roxas in the head. However, that did not help. Zexion then casted Esuna on Roxas to and brought him back to normal. Before they could leave, the Phantom gave them a business card. “Vincent Kalwa.” Axel read out loud. “Remind me to smack you in the head later.” Axel retorted.

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As soon as they got back to the castle, Axel explained everything. Then, Roxas went to report back to Xemnas. “Hello, Roxas.” The superior said with his trademark pedophile-like smile. “I heard that you encountered a fellow, and had quite the blackout.” Roxas paused, and then said “I’m not sure what happened, but I’m pretty sure that this Vincent guy did something to me.” Xemans had his ears perked up. “I don’t know why, but he triggered some sort of being inside me.”

Xemans raised his eyebrow further. “What sort of being?” “This being looked like…. It looked like Sora. It looked like Sora, crossed with a Dusk. I think her name was… was…” “Tell me the entity’s name Roxas.” The superior ordered. “Her name was Xion.” Roxas replied. Xemnas gave a light chuckle. “Xion? She’s our newest member. We just met her today while you were out on your mission. Xion, come meet the one who can get all of our Hearts back.”

The girl was about Roxas’ age, with long Prussian-Blue hair that went a few inches past her shoulders, and blue eyes. “Hello, Roxas.” the new member said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
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Well, that was a big twist, and Vincent has finally appeared. Expect lots of humor in the next chapter. Also, please review!!!!!

Omega Prime · December 22nd, 2009, 07:08 PM

excelently done HK good buddy I really did find it a good read

Horizon's Knight · January 24th, 2010, 02:12 AM

Well, I am back to post another chapter. Sorry it took so long, but I had a bit of writer's block. Anyways, Xigbar fans should rejoice, any so should comedy fans.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or Vincent.
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Intruder in the Castle

The next day, Roxas reported to the Grey Room, the place where Saix gives people their missions. “Roxas. Your mission today is to show Xion the mission basics. Based on her weapon and power, you will give her a title.” Roxas went back to his room to get the materials, when Vincent showed up lounging on his bed, without the mask I might add.

“Hello Roxy boy. So good to see you my old friend. How ‘bout a big hug.” Roxas gave a weird look and yelled “GET OFF MY BED YOU SICK PERVERT!!!!!!” Vincent looked hurt, putting a hand over his Heart saying sarcastically “You wounded me dear thirteen. And here I thought we were such great friends.” “I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND!!!!!” Roxas yelled.

Vincent gave a small smirk on his face and said “Aw, are you just jealous Axel will think I’m you?” That really annoyed Roxas. He wasn’t gay or anything, but Roxas couldn’t stand that people actually thought he was gay. “Fine, if you’re really that upset about it.” Vincent snapped his fingers and a black mist surrounded both Roxas and Vincent for a mere second, and Roxas was lying on the bed in the exact same spot Vincent was, and vice versa.

Roxas was suddenly confused. “Are you a Gary Stu or something? How the hell did you do that?” Roxas asked. “Dark Corridor, duh. Are you that stupid?” Vincent asked and taunted at the same time. Roxas asked “What do you want?” Vincent paused for a second, and then spoke. “I’ll let you in on a little secret Roxy boy.” Vincent leaned in and whispered in Roxas’ ear. “I’m going to steal the castle’s blueprints. There is a way to stop me, but you have to go to Twilight Town in order to do it.” Roxas was confused. How could Roxas stop Vincent from reaching the blueprints to the Castle from Twilight Town? Sure, the blueprints were heavily guarded, but by the time he was done training Xion, it would be too late to stop him.

“There is a mystical item I like to call “The Shadow Apple”. It is the source of all my power. If you find it and give it to me before I reach the blueprints, I’ll surrender and tell you all about myself and the prophecy.” Roxas looking doubtful said “Apple? What are you, Snow White?” Vincent rolled up his sleeve and mocked looking at a watch “Time’s a wasting Roxy boy. I’d get a move on if I were you!” Roxas gathered his supplies, and took Xion to Twilight Town.

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Roxas and Xion arrived in Twilight Town via Dark Corridor. “Okay Xion,” Roxas began “I know that I need to train you, but I need to stop someone from getting to the blueprints. If you help me find this “Shadow Apple”, then not only will this be great training, but you will be able to feel what it’s like to go on real missions. Can I count on you to help me?” Xion nodded her head. “Yeah. I’m ready for the field.” Xion then summoned a chain-whip out of nowhere, and Roxas look surprised.

The Chain-Whip had grey links going feet long, with a 1 foot Nobody symbol for the hilt. Once Roxas and Xion got to the Station Plaza, a group of weird creatures that resembled the Dusk Nobodies. They had gold skin, and black horns sticking out on each side of their head. “What ARE those things?” Roxas asks to no one in particular. Xion used her Chain-Whip, and sliced through the Nobodies like she had been killing her entire life.

However, these “Nobodies” released confetti when killed, instead of fading into nothing like other Nobodies when they die. “Confetti? What is this, the Partying Nobody?” Roxas stated, obviously annoyed. Suddenly, the last of the gold Nobodies spoke through a voice. “Well, I wanted to give them a little more “Flare””. Roxas then knew who was speaking. “Vincent.” Roxas said in a deadly monotone.

Back at the castle, Vincent goes into the basement, “Alright. Now that spiky haired bastard and that very interesting girl are out of my way, time to have fun with the other members.” And with an evil Joker like laugh, he descended to the basement.

Xigbar normally hated doing guard duty, and would rather be hunting in the field. However, things were about to get interesting. Suddenly, Vincent entered one of the rooms that led to the energy core and the blueprints. “Well,” Xigbar said in an amused tone. “It looks like I finally get to have some fun. Are you by any chance this “Vincent” guy Axel told us about?” Vincent then spoke. “Well, it depends who is asking. You sound like that pirate/surfer/hunter guy.” Xigar then gave a light chuckle. “Ding ding ding, we have a winner. Name’s Xigbar. If you’re after the energy core and the blue prints, then you’re out of luck, dude.”

Vincent gave a chuckle of his own, and replied “Really? Well I think that fortune favors me. Because now I get to flex my real power for once! BRING IT ON ONE-EYE!!!!!!!” Xigbar then said “As if. You don’t stand a chance. Also, I got my eye cut out once.” “Well, that will be the least of your worries if you go against me, my friend.” Vincent stated. “Alright! I haven’t had any fun all day!” Xigbar replied.

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Roxas was about ready to take that Nobody down when it spoke again. “Aren’t you the least bit curious how I’m able to take control of the lesser Nobodies? After all, most do technically belong to the Organization, am I correct?” Roxas growled, and replied “I DON’T CARE!!!!!!!!! JUST TELL ABOUT THE AGE OF THE V!!!!!!!!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM MY CASTLE!!!!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!! AND MOST IMPORTANTLLY, STTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY OOOOOOUUUUUUTTTTTTT OOOOFFFFFFF MY MMMMIIIIIINNNNNNNNNDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!” Vincent had a confused look, or the Nobody who he was speaking from did. “I know not of the fact that you have voices in your head, but I will tell you of my history.” Roxas gritted his teeth. “Now come come. Let’s calm down and put all those weapons away. Now, what can I get you? Something to eat, drink, or perhaps a sense of humor?”

Roxas then yelled at the top of his lungs, and lunged at the Golden Dusk, and cut it in half with his Keyblade. However, it exploded in Roxas’ face, and his face ended up looking like a clown. It even made his hair orange and pink. Vincent laughed hysterically “Now that’s funny! But since you insist on being an unreasonable ass, I will not tell you anything! That apple I sent you to find was just my lunch. Oh, I almost forgot. Xion my dear, make sure to practice your powers a bit more. You’re starting to peak my interest!” and with a laugh the Nobody disappeared into a dark corridor.

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Xigbar pressed a few buttons, and sniper Furbys surrounded Vincent. “What is this?” Vincent asked. “It feels like I’m trapped in a seven year olds nightmarish toy box! What the hell is this stuff?” Xigbar paused, and then laughed. “Hey. When you’re stuck on guard duty, and no exciting crap happens, you’d create some pretty wacked-up crap too.” Vincent thought this over as he was dodging sniper bullets and said “Point taken. I just hope you didn’t work on them too long, because I’m about to wreck all of your toys.” Vincent then pulled out his V-Sword, this time not wooden, but composed of black metal.

Vincent swung his sword, causing a dark energy to be released. The thing is, that the beam was just as hard as the blade, if not stronger. It sliced the Ferbys right open, even on just the slightest touch. “Is that it?” Vincent asked “What’s next, suicide bomb Barbies?” Xigbar laughed, and summoned life sized G.I Joes “I have not even begun to fight!!” and then the G.I Joes attacked Vincent. Little did they know Vincent was a lot stronger then he was given credit for, and if Vincent hates one thing most in this world, it’s being underestimated. “I DON”T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!!!!!” Vincent yelled. He summoned all his energy in to his blade and cried “MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!!” and then the room went black.

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I hopped you all enjoyed this chapter. Please review!!!!

choboco_king · January 24th, 2010, 06:02 AM

Read Chapter 1, here's my critque:
The idea itself is quite good and has potentiol, though the whole prophecy thing is a bit overused in my opinion. Some spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, but I strongly reconmend editing the grammar when it comes to dialogue. It has a good Harry Potter kinda vibe, you should exploit that. Now the thing is, it's very descriptive and non-descriptive. Alot of the time I felt you were describing the gameplay, it's cool if you wanna describe the spells and what not but we don't need to know about his AP or whatever. Now, when it comes to the general environment, you can describe more there. The prophecy itself was the higlight of the first chapter, you should apply that type of poetic fine tuning and romanticicsm to the rest of the piece as well. Hopes this help, it's got potentiol, I'm going to read ch2 now...

chapter 2: I don't like this chapter for the most part. Instead of giving the Org.members a little entry, it would be more effective to write something like where Roxas looks at each of them and thinks of their personalities. Also Xemnas' dialogue doesn't seem to match up with him, that didn't sound like something he would say. The Otakon thing was creative, but awkward, it doesn't seem like something that would occur in the KH universe. I mean, how can Roxas know he's a video game character? Breaking down the 4th wall isn't a good idea in this case, but I loved that line, "No wonder Namine's not into you".

Chapter 3: Definitley the best so far, but there are some issues. First of all the humor is great, but doesn't seem to match up with KH. Also, for grammar's sake, you don't need to use multiple exclamation points to get your point across. Like I said before, more fancy stuff and throw in some bigger words. Humor aside, variety is a good thing and the thesaurus is your best friend. Not bad, getting better, keep it up.
P.S. "Kombat" is spelled with a "C".

Horizon's Knight · January 24th, 2010, 06:24 PM

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