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November 3rd, 2009, 12:43 AM
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#16 | | Given Up
Zero is offline
Registered: May 2007 Location: Over There Age: 15 Posts: 2,538
Currently playing: KH2, Pokemon Platinum | Re: Chosen Thanks everyone I really appreciate your Comments. Chapter 3- Sora
They all walked up to a regular looking house except for the fact that there was no door knob. But one of the guys walked up to the door and pressed his hand onto the door and a woman's voice came up.
"Scan complete, you may all enter." They all walked into the house and inside was a normal looking living room with a t.v., couch, etc. But what stood out was the high-tec computer and gadgets near it.
"You guys can sit down on the couch if you'd like. Oh yeah, I almost forgot im Rachel." She said with a welcoming smile.
"Names Kevin."
"You two must be Donald and Goofy, im Viktor. And welcome Your Majesty." He bowed and everyone, but the King, was shocked.
"He's the King? Forgive us Your Majesty." Said Rachel and she and Kevin quickly bowed.
"Ugh, Your Majesty...Viktor is just a teenager." Said Goofy confused while scratching his head and Donald was looking confused as well. Viktor then got onto his computer, paying no attention to what Goofy said.
"Its alright Rachel and Kevin and Yes Goofy, Viktor is a teenager but he is a Genius. He found a way to follow the Keyblade and figure out where it is. Also Viktor, ive asked for a lot from you so im giving a Gummi Ship in return, since you really seem to be fascinated by them and ill show you it later."
"Thanks a lot Your Majesty. But its going to take a couple of minutes for it to come up."
"Dont worry."
"Your Majesty, why is it so important that you need to find the next Keyblade Master? I mean I know its important but it seems like theres more to it." Said Rachel.
"As ive told Viktor, and Donald and Goofy already know, the last Keyblade Master was Sora and he put an end to the Heartless and Nobody's about 5 years ago. Also Viktor has told me about how the Heartless are starting to appear around this world and he has found them appearing around many other worlds as well so we need the next Keyblade Master to come with us to stop the Heartless, seal the Worlds up again just in case, and figure out who is behind this." Then everybody started to understand what was going on.
"Alright Your Majesty its done. Now we can figure out who the next Master is." Everyone then gathered up on the computer and Viktor clicked here and pressed buttons there. The anticipation was eating them alive and then the results came up. A picture of the Universe came up and then it started to zoom into something, a small blue sphere appeared but it was barely noticeable. Then it zoomed in closer and the sphere got bigger and bigger, and then it zoomed into a map of a country, then it turned into a state, a County, a neighborhood, a building, and finally it showed a boy.
"The Keyblade Master is a guy named......Remy."
~~
"C'mon man can you please listen to me for a second?" Yelled Remi to Tony but he completely ignored him and walked away. Everyone turned and stared at him like if he was crazy and Remi walked away completely embarrassed. Then he turned a corner into an almost empty hallway, the girl, Isabelle, was walking down the hallway.
"Hey, Isabelle. Can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Uh, sure." Said Isabelle talking as if Remi was a complete stranger.
"I've tried to talk to you ever since the first day of school bu-" A loud noise came from Isabelle's pocket and she took out a cellphone and answered it.
"Yeah.....Yeah, I can talk." She then walked away completely ignoring Remi. "Wow, can this shitty day get any better?" He thought and then hi question was about to be answered.
A small, black circle appeared right in front of Remi and out of it came a small, black, weird looking thing and Remi was completely freaked out. After it showed itself, it lunged its claws at Remi and scratched his arm, then even more small, black circles appeared releasing more of the weird things. Then they all lunged at Remi and Remi, terrified, covered himself with his arms but after a few seconds he looked back and they all disappeared and a giant Key was in his hand.
"What the?" Then before he could try to figure anything else out, lots of small, black circles appeared and Remi just ran past them and out the door. He was outside, near the bleachers and small, black circles started appearing everywhere, there was no end in sight. But then something crashed down in the middle of the football field and smoke covered whatever it was but when it cleared it revealed, a strange looking Dog, Duck, and Mouse.
~End~
Last edited by Zero; November 5th, 2009 at 08:27 PM.
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November 3rd, 2009, 12:45 AM
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#17 | | formally RoseateDawn
Reverie is offline
Registered: Sep 2009 Location: Hiding inside Riku's closet. Posts: 1,660
Currently playing: BlazBlue & Magna Carta II | Re: Chosen This came out with an interesting start. I'll keep reading. :] | |
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November 3rd, 2009, 01:15 AM
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#18 | | Organization Member
khfreak17 is offline
Registered: Jul 2009 Location: alone, wishing my Baby could be next to me. T.T Posts: 821
Currently playing: on deviantart | Re: Chosen woah............ epicness
__________________ "Everywhere that I go, I see another memory.... And the places we used to know, they're always to haunt me.... I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely.... You're everything I want but you don't want me...." | |
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November 3rd, 2009, 02:34 AM
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#19 | | Sidekick
Lanydx reborn is offline
Registered: Jun 2009 Location: CA Posts: 364 | Re: Chosen Well now I know what happened to Sora. | |
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November 3rd, 2009, 07:58 PM
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#20 | | Given Up
Zero is offline
Registered: May 2007 Location: Over There Age: 15 Posts: 2,538
Currently playing: KH2, Pokemon Platinum | Re: Chosen Lol, im glad you all like it but to me this wasnt good at all. I had to go to my cousins house yesterday and when I got back I only had an hour to type this up and ive been trying to add way more detail to the Chapters. And one thing I wanted to say is that I didnt have that much thought in Remi's story so sorry about that.
Also about Sora and his friends, they are still alive but they have no impact in the story...for now.
Maybe.
But anyways ill have the next Chapter up by tomorrow or later tonight. | |
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November 5th, 2009, 12:48 AM
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#21 | | Sidekick
Lanydx reborn is offline
Registered: Jun 2009 Location: CA Posts: 364 | Re: Chosen What are you waiting for.? Post the next chapter!! | |
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November 5th, 2009, 01:13 AM
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#22 | | Organization Member
khfreak17 is offline
Registered: Jul 2009 Location: alone, wishing my Baby could be next to me. T.T Posts: 821
Currently playing: on deviantart | Re: Chosen ok........... yeah. u just told me to post so u can put up the next chappy, so, yeah. next one plz!!!
__________________ "Everywhere that I go, I see another memory.... And the places we used to know, they're always to haunt me.... I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely.... You're everything I want but you don't want me...." | |
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November 5th, 2009, 01:59 AM
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#23 | | Given Up
Zero is offline
Registered: May 2007 Location: Over There Age: 15 Posts: 2,538
Currently playing: KH2, Pokemon Platinum | Re: Chosen Lol, thanks Lanydx. Chapter 4- The Keyblade
"This has got to be one of those dreams." Thought Remi and the weird things began to gang up on him. But the people that appeared rushed their way to Remi, destroying every one of those creatures in front of them. As those three got closer so did the creatures and Remi knew he had to act so he started to swing the Key. He was able to push them back and away from him but the creatures seemed to get even more angry and they surrounded him.
Remi didnt know what to do and the creatures just got closer and the closer they got, the harder his heart started to beat and then they all jumped at him and Remi looked up at them, paralyzed. It looked like a rain of dark creatures and right before they were able to hit Remi-
"GRAVIGA." Yelled the Duck and the creatures spun in the air out of control and Remi ran towards the three of them. "Firaga." Said the Duck and a giant ball of fire came out of the Ducks wand, and when it hit the creatures an explosion was created and it destroyed all the creatures.
"Uh...Thanks?" Said Remi completely lost.
"No time to talk, we have to go back." Said the Mouse, turned away from everyone else, and he pointed in the middle of the field and a White Rectangle appeared in the middle of the field. Then they all turned to where the Mouse was pointing at and the Mouse started running to it and the Duck and Dog followed. Remi was completely lost and didnt know what to do and then he felt like there was someone behind him and he quickly turned around.
"Remi? The Keyblade's new Master? So its true the Keyblade just goes to anybody. You didnt want it so just give it to me." Said the mysterious man, he was dressed in a completely black coat and his face was concealed and when Remi saw him he knew it was the figure he had seen before. Remi was paralyzed and behind him the Mouse yelled.
"No...REMI DONT LISTEN TO HIM!" But Remi just stood there frozen.
"Cmon kid dont make have to hurt you." The man then put his hand out and it was covered in a black, looking flame, he then grabbed Remi and put his hand to where Remi's heart was. But Remi then lifted his hand that held the "Keyblade" and smacked the mans head and he fell to the floor as did Remi.
"Remi go through there!" Yelled the Mouse and thats what Remi did and the other three ran towards the man.
"NO!" The man lifted his hand and the dark circles from before appeared on the ground, covering the whole field in darkness. But Remi kept on running and when the creatures came out Remi swung his Keyblade, not even looking at the creatures. The other three just ran at the man and attacked him but their attacks just went through him except for the Kings.
"Everyone in Organization XIII is dead, who are you?" Said the King and the man started to block the attacks.
"Organization XIII?" Remi then made it into the Light and it disappeared along with Remi.
"You three are making this to difficult but ill take care of you three next time." The three then stopped attacking and a black portal appeared behind him and he walked into it.
"Your right, something is going on." Said Goofy towards the King.
~~
In the sky a meteor was falling towards the ground at an amazing speed. When it finally landed Remi appeared.
"Did I just...fall from the sky? And more importantly where am I?" Said Remi.
~End~
Wow, I completely failed with this Chapter and im going to change some stuff on the last Chapter. | |
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November 5th, 2009, 02:20 AM
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#24 | | Sidekick
Lanydx reborn is offline
Registered: Jun 2009 Location: CA Posts: 364 | Re: Chosen Ok what just happened? Really what I miss? | |
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November 5th, 2009, 02:41 PM
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#25 | | Organization Member
khfreak17 is offline
Registered: Jul 2009 Location: alone, wishing my Baby could be next to me. T.T Posts: 821
Currently playing: on deviantart | Re: Chosen woah................ what just happened? im confused. well, not really..... can wait for the next chappy!!
__________________ "Everywhere that I go, I see another memory.... And the places we used to know, they're always to haunt me.... I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely.... You're everything I want but you don't want me...." | |
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November 5th, 2009, 08:36 PM
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#26 | | Given Up
Zero is offline
Registered: May 2007 Location: Over There Age: 15 Posts: 2,538
Currently playing: KH2, Pokemon Platinum | Re: Chosen Alright if you dont understand what happened in Chapter 4, ill explain it.
The King, Donald, and Goofy helped Remi out and when they killed all the Heartless surrounding Remi they ran back to the Light so they could go back to Neo City where Viktor, Kevin, and Rachel live. But the Mysterious, Cloaked Man, that is working with Maleficant, appeared and wanted the Keyblade but Remi was able to get away from him and he ran to the Light. Then the King and the other two fought the Mysterious, Cloaked Man and the King thought he was part of Organization 13 but the man didnt know what that was and just disappeared. And now Remi is in Neo City.
Also if you dont understand how he got there then read up on Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep cause Terra, Ven, and Aqua dont use Gummi Ships to get to other worlds. Also at the end of KH2 look at how Sora and Riku got back home. And I updated Chapter 3 at the end. | |
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November 7th, 2009, 09:20 PM
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#27 | | formally RoseateDawn
Reverie is offline
Registered: Sep 2009 Location: Hiding inside Riku's closet. Posts: 1,660
Currently playing: BlazBlue & Magna Carta II | Re: Chosen This is a really epic chapter - like the previous ones I have read. Great effort. :] | |
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November 8th, 2009, 01:44 AM
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#28 | | Given Up
Zero is offline
Registered: May 2007 Location: Over There Age: 15 Posts: 2,538
Currently playing: KH2, Pokemon Platinum | Re: Chosen Thanks Rose. Chapter 5- Rachel, Viktor, and Kevin
"You fool, look at what you did. Now I have lost a lot of minions and the Keyblade Bearer. I thought I taught you better." Yelled the Green Faced Witch.
"I wanted to test his power but I didnt know the King and his friends were going to get in the way. My apologies Maleficent. But if I may ask what is Organization XIII?" Said the Mysterious Man.
"Organization XIII, it seems suspicious but I have no idea what it is. Now enough of this, go do what I told you to do." And the Mysterious Man opened up a portal behind him and walked into it.
~~
Remi stood up and looked around the place in confusion and then he decided to walk around to figure out where he was. But it was useless, he searched for a long time but he couldnt find anyone. He then looked around and noticed one of the black circles from before appearing right in front of him. He didnt hesitate and right when it came out he attacked and killed it but then he noticed a dark figure in the background.
"It must be that guy again, I cant let him get away so ill take him out right now." Remi thought and he ran towards the dark figure at full force. But then the figure took out a weapon that looked like a broadsword but Remi didnt care and he just kept on running towards it. Then the figure started to run at Remi as well and when they were close enough they swung their weapons but their weapons caught each other.
"What did you do?" Said Remi angrily at the figure that he still couldnt see because it was so dark.
"What are you talking about?" Said the figure and then their weapons broke apart and Remi then ran at the figure and attacked him on his head causing the figure to fall on the floor. Remi then stared at the figure on the floor and lifted the Keyblade and he was about to strike.
"STOP!" Yelled a girl behind Remi and when he turned around a blue sphere came towards Remi and it froze him. Then the girl and a boy came running towards Remi and the figure.
"Oh my gosh! Im really sorry, your the Keyblade's Master but you were about to kill my friend." Remi could hear everything she said but he couldnt move and the other boy helped up the figure, which Remi figured out it wasnt the Mysterious Man. Finally the ice broke off and it came off of Remi and he jumped back away from the three.
"Let me kill him." Said the boy that was being held up by the other boy and then some green leaves appeared over his head and he was able to stand on his own.
"Calm down Kevin, he didnt know." Said the girl, while the other boy was holding Kevin back. She then ran to Remi and grabbed his hand. "Here come with me back to our place and just ignore him." Remi followed her and so did the other boy and they left Kevin to walk back to their place angrily.
~~
"So this is it and im Rachel."
"Im Viktor."
"And thats Kevin, he hates losing so thats why he is so mad." Said Rachel.
"Im Remi...Wait! This is happening so fast and I dont understand any of it. What about the Mouse, the Duck, the Dog, and that man dressed in a black coat? How did I get here, where am I, what are those creatures?" Said Remi really confused.
"Oh, those three guys are Mickey Mouse, the King, the Duck is Donald Duck, and the Dog is Goofy. But I dont know who the other guy is." Said Viktor.
"Well that explains who they are but I still dont understand everything else that happened."
"Hmm...Well why dont you tell us what happened." Suggested Viktor and Remi told them everything that happened to him and Viktor answered every question that he could from what the King had told him. After they were done, they heard something outside the house and Viktor opened the door to the King, Donald, and Goofy.
"So what happened?" Asked Viktor.
~End~ | |
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November 8th, 2009, 03:49 AM
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#29 | | Sidekick
Lanydx reborn is offline
Registered: Jun 2009 Location: CA Posts: 364 | Re: Chosen Good chapter, but is this a flash back? | |
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November 8th, 2009, 01:05 PM
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#30 | | Given Up
Zero is offline
Registered: May 2007 Location: Over There Age: 15 Posts: 2,538
Currently playing: KH2, Pokemon Platinum | Re: Chosen No its what Remi went through after he landed in Neo City. | |
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