We'll Learn Together - Page 3

Coldman9 · November 27th, 2009, 03:18 AM

Is that really necissary!? Holy crap, it's a good story, I"m sure everyone can overlook all the typos and stuff so long as we get the general idea of what's going on.

You're writings okay as it is Peach, don't let Annoyance drag you down.

Annoyance · November 27th, 2009, 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldman9

Is that really necissary!? Holy crap, it's a good story, I"m sure everyone can overlook all the typos and stuff so long as we get the general idea of what's going on.

You're writings okay as it is Peach, don't let Annoyance drag you down.

I haven't read all the story yet. It's decent, I guess. Nothing TOO special so far.
Peach needs some improvement. A lot of it. She has time, she can improve.

It's just a critique. Not a "let's make this writer cry".
I'm not even done with the entire critique of the first chapter either.

And it does matter. Sure, typos can be overlooked, but it can make a reader get turned off instantly. If you have typo after typo, you're not going to have that much fun reading it. Plus, it just makes the author look bad.
If you just write down a bunch of bullshit but are still able to get the gist of what's going on, it's still a bunch of bullshit on paper. It's an author's job to make it flow and work. Poets aren't the only ones who can use flow.

Critiques like mine are things that some writers BEG for. Just having a bunch of friends saying "IT'S SO GOOD." doesn't get a writer anywhere and in the future, makes them look dumb because they've been going their whole life doing the same exact mistakes over and over. If no one catches it, it never changes.

Nevermore · November 27th, 2009, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldman9

Is that really necissary!? Holy crap, it's a good story, I"m sure everyone can overlook all the typos and stuff so long as we get the general idea of what's going on.

You're writings okay as it is Peach, don't let Annoyance drag you down.

And here we have a perfectly good example of why I don't critique as much as I used to.

Annoyance · November 27th, 2009, 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nevermore

And here we have a perfectly good example of why I don't critique as much as I used to.

This is also sort of the reason I don't like critiquing in the fanfiction section in general. This shit happens and it pisses the shit out of me.

God.

Quote:

I"m sure everyone can overlook all the typos and stuff so long as we get the general idea of what's going on.

That just ticks me off. As a writer and someone who actually bothers to give people critique on their work, this REALLY pisses me off.

You can turn a short sentence of a duck swimming across a pond into a story.

Quote:

The duck swam across the pond.

or

Quote:

Narrowly escaping the fox, the duck flew into the water and landed with a sloppy splash. Floating, the duck looked around for something to eat to distract him from the near-death experience and to also get farther away from the fox sitting at the shore. Spotting something, he duck swam towards the potential meal.

He's still swimming across the pond. He's just doing it with more detail.

I'm trying to help Peach become a good writer. And don't play a "she's young" card. Exactly. Even more room to improve. As she goes through school, she'll now know these skills as a writer and become just a bit greater.
If you ask me, that's a good thing.

I keep editing this trying to prove a point but okay.
Say all I said was "it needs work. it isn't that good."
wouldn't you like to know why I say this? what needs work? to you it may look fine, but to others it may not. you'd want a story to be good, right? so you ask me.
"i don't know. it just isn't good." isn't that great of an answer when you're looking for a solid one with reason.

Coldman9 · November 27th, 2009, 04:32 AM

*Sigh* Okay, Annoyance I don't wanna make an enemy outta you. I'm a writer myself, I have a story in the Creative Wretching section. Go ahead and check it out if you want.

As a writer I like to get tips every now and then so I can improve my writing, but what really pisses me off is when somone goes through the whole chapter and points out every little mistake. It's like they're telling me I'm failing and their just rubbing salt in the wound.

Peach is young so she can learn but you don't have to point out every mistake, just give her friendly tips.

Glos-Peach · November 27th, 2009, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadow-Love

Take what time you need, I know school can be a hastle and just a pain at times.

Thank you for understanding. I'm sure I'll have time next week, and thank you all for waiting. :)

Annoyance · November 27th, 2009, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldman9

*Sigh* Okay, Annoyance I don't wanna make an enemy outta you. I'm a writer myself, I have a story in the Creative Wretching section. Go ahead and check it out if you want.

As a writer I like to get tips every now and then so I can improve my writing, but what really pisses me off is when somone goes through the whole chapter and points out every little mistake. It's like they're telling me I'm failing and their just rubbing salt in the wound.

Peach is young so she can learn but you don't have to point out every mistake, just give her friendly tips.

I do that because then she realizes where she made the mistake so she can fix it. That's all. If you read what I gave her, I DID give her friendly tips while pointing out the mistake.

Edit: Oh, and I'll check out your story I suppose. .-. Expect the same thing~.

Sawah · November 27th, 2009, 08:06 PM

i haven't read your story, but:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldman9

Peach is young so she can learn but you don't have to point out every mistake, just give her friendly tips.

Quote:

Age: 14

she's my age. if i were her, i'd be more than honored to have someone critique me like that. it helps so much in writing. if you don't accept critique, then you clearly won't make it in the author's world. you can just stop writing if you don't want annoyance's help.

Lycanthrope · November 27th, 2009, 08:26 PM

Coldman9, Annoyance is just giving constructive criticism in order to aid Glos-Peach in her future writing. Honest, constructive criticism. Annoyance is not saying anything malicious toward the story. If anything, her criticism should be respected, as it is better than a good number of the posts, such as your post on the previous page saying "Lol, that was good. I like where this is going", I see (and make me loathe) the art sections on this site at times. Annoyance is trying to improve Glos-Peach's wrting by giving her tips in order to make her writing better. I know as a writer, I appreciate getting feedback on what I can improve rather than a friend saying it was good in order to keep my spirits up.

Guilded.Raven · November 28th, 2009, 09:39 PM

Aside from the the easily overlooked typos, the story is prett good.

My only request:
Please, no AkuRoku. I would like to see how this goes, but I don't think I'll be able to stomache yaoi to get there...

Sorry if you're fond of that, but if you are thinking of REALLY putting that in there, tell me now, please.

Annoyance · November 28th, 2009, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guilded.Raven

Aside from the the easily overlooked typos, the story is prett good.

My only request:
Please, no AkuRoku. I would like to see how this goes, but I don't think I'll be able to stomache yaoi to get there...

Sorry if you're fond of that, but if you are thinking of REALLY putting that in there, tell me now, please.

It's T so it wouldn't be yaoi. It'd be Shonen-Ai.

Even so, AkuRoku is one of the strongest fandoms known to fanfiction just because Axel says all those things to Roxas. I don't mind Shonen-Ai and you shouldn't tell the writer what to include or not include in the story.

Guilded.Raven · November 28th, 2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glos-Peach

Also, tell me which pairings you like, and maybe they'll be in this story.

Uh, isn't that what I was doing?

Besides, I said if that's what they were planning, tell me now.

Annoyance · November 28th, 2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guilded.Raven

Uh, isn't that what I was doing?

Besides, I said if that's what they were planning, tell me now.

Pssh, my bad~. Didn't read that.
But whatever. Kind of odd to ask people at this point what pairings should come up. You have to go with the flow.

Guilded.Raven · November 28th, 2009, 10:31 PM

'Kay.

However, that was my point in asking if they were going to use that pairing.
So I can decide if I want to keep reading or not.

Glos-Peach · November 29th, 2009, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guilded.Raven

Aside from the the easily overlooked typos, the story is prett good.

My only request:
Please, no AkuRoku. I would like to see how this goes, but I don't think I'll be able to stomache yaoi to get there...

Sorry if you're fond of that, but if you are thinking of REALLY putting that in there, tell me now, please.

No, the AkuRoku hints are just to make it funnier... I mean, c'mon... Did you hear what Axel was saying? XD

But other than the little... hints from Axel's side... AkuRoku is not a pairing. Because I don't like it.