Feminine Pads -- a funny fanfic

zettaLOL · October 12th, 2009, 03:14 PM

<---a (crappy) MS Paint illustration to go with it, lol

Um, yeah. I have no idea. Like weird, random stories? Then this is the one for you.

It's pretty short, no chapters or anything. lol

~~~~~~~

“AHHHH!!”

A deafening scream pierced the air. Sora became alert immediately. That was Kairi! But where was she? Sora looked around in a panic, but nowhere could he find her red hair peeking above the crowd.

What had happened to her? The day had begun as a simple date to the roller rink, but now… Sweat rolled down Sora’s forehead. Kairi’s shrill yell must have meant something bad had happened. Maybe heartless had appeared, or there was another emergency situation from King Mickey, or worse—a new math test was coming up soon. Unfortunately, there was no way of knowing, because Kairi was missing.

Sora skated through a small crowd of people, nearly knocking over a little boy in his haste. Finally, to his strong relief, he spotted Kairi.

She was leaning against the back wall with her hands behind her back. Her face was flushed a deep scarlet color.

“Kairi, what’s wrong?” Sora asked in a fearful tone.

“N-nothing…” Kairi responded hesitantly. “Just…uh, can we go home now?”

Sora was puzzled. If nothing had happened, why was Kairi acting so strangely? And why did she want to leave? They had just arrived at the skating rink twenty minutes ago. This made absolutely no sense.

“What? Why?” Sora was definitely missing out on something here.

As soon as he asked the question, he wished he hadn’t, because Kairi burst out in tears.

What the--?! Now what had he done wrong?

“K-Kairi, it’ll be okay. Um…” It wasn’t like Kairi to cry; she was normally quite strong-willed. So Sora had no clue how to handle this awkward situation.

People were beginning to stare, so he tried his best to calm Kairi down. “Uh, we can leave if you like. It’s alright. So, er…let’s go—”

“No!”

Sora had begun tugging Kairi away from the wall to find the exit, but Kairi violently shoved his away. This left Sora bewildered and somewhat hurt. Had he done something to make Kairi angry? He tried recalling earlier parts of the day he spent with her, but nothing out of the norm was in his memory. And Kairi had been fine earlier.

Kairi’s face turned another shade deeper, and she whirled around, revealing her backside as secretly as she could manage. Sora looked there and—

“Oh, my God! Kairi, you’re bleeding! Call the paramedics or get Donald to use cure or—”

“Sora! Shut up!” Kairi covered Sora’s mouth with her hand, a tear streaming down her face again. “Do you want the whole world to know I’m on my period?”

“But Kairi, you’re bleedi—oh.” She was on her period. Yeahhhhh. That’s all it was… “Oh.” Sora was speechless. His face turned pale. “Uh…”

Now he really had no clue how to help her.

Kairi stood there, defenseless, sobbing, with blood pouring out of her—oh, God.

Sora’s mind was blank. He could have stood there frozen like a stone for the entire day. Luckily, Kairi broke the silence and came to her wits first.

“I knew today was my heavy bleeding day, so I brought an extra pair of jeans just in case, but now my favorite pants are ruined! Oh, I shouldn’t have worn them today. I wonder if I can get the stain out. Ah, but if I can’t, these…” Kairi prattled on and on about her precious soiled jeans, but Sora’s mind had been going on shut down mode since he’d heard her utter, “heavy bleeding.” How the heck was he supposed to deal with this mess? Until now, he had completely forgotten that girls even—well, you know.

“Sora, you’ve got to help me,” Kairi pleaded.

Upon hearing his name, Sora snapped back into focus. “Um…how can I help exactly?”

“I need you to buy me something,” Kairi said, wiping away a last tear. Uh-oh, Sora thought. He had a bad feeling about this…

And rightly so, because Kairi’s impossible quest for him was, “Would you please buy me…a pack of pads?”

“…”

“It’s not that hard. My pads aren’t heavy-duty enough for today, but I don’t want to spoil another pair of jeans.”

“…”

“But I can’t leave like—like this. It would be mortifying!”

“…”

“You just need to go to the convenience store next door. It’ll only take five minutes or so.”

“…”

“Sora, are you listening to me?”

Sora was hysterical. “I can’t do it! I don’t know anything about this girly stuff! Have a friend do it for you or something—anyone but me, please!” Sympathetic as he felt, there was no way in hell he was going to march into a store and…

--------------------------------------

“I need some pads,” Sora muttered into the phone. He peered around, making sure no one was within hearing distance.

“What? Sora, is that you?” Riku sounded confused. “I think I misheard what you said—”

“Oh, no. You heard me correctly. I need pads.”

“Shoulder pads? Knee pads?”

“Feminine pads.”

There was a pause. Finally, Riku asked, “Where are you?”

“The convenience store next to the roller rink.” Damn Kairi’s puppy dog face! Her beautiful pouting gaze, those sad violet eyes staring into his…how could he say no? With that look, Kairi could make Sora do virtually anything. He shuttered in the realization that women were scary like that.

Anyway, here he was, and there was no turning back now. He gripped money in one hand, his cell phone tightly in the other, standing alone in the aisle that no testosterone-loaded being had ever dared to venture into before.

Over the phone, Riku seemed just as clueless as Sora. “Well, just grab a box of ‘em off the shelf and go,” he suggested.

“That’s what I was going to do, but it’s not that simple,” Sora explained miserably. With girls, nothing was simple.

“Well, why not? Are they sold out or something?”

“No, it’s the opposite! There’s so many of them!” And that was the truth. There were different brands, sizes, types…it was an endless pile of varying feminine products.

“Well…um…I gotta go,” Riku said quickly, obviously making up an excuse to get out of the sticky situation. “I’ll see you lat—”

“No, you don’t! Riku, you liar, help me out here!” But he was already gone. Frustrated, Sora prepared to hit redial, but just then, a woman appeared behind him.

“Need some help, sir?” she asked.

Sora stared at her for a few seconds, his mind still trying to comprehend everything. He saw a “HELLO, my name is Kathy” nametag and a cheap sales pitch smile, and he knew she must work here. Oh, what the heck, he thought, I might as well get help from this lady. What’ll it hurt?

“I need pads,” he responded, pointing to the full shelves.

The woman, Kathy, stifled a chuckle. “I see,” she said, clearing her throat. “What kind?”

“Um…the heavy kind.” That’s what Kairi had said she needed, right?

After they shuffled through several different boxes, Sora finally came across one that was satisfactory. At least, he hoped it was. The woman explained that they were called ‘maxi’, and they had wings, whatever those were. Then he had the store clerk ring them up. He paid for them and left in a hurry.

Though that had been extremely embarrassing, Sora felt very proud of himself. He believed he had handled the problem well, and he now understood one thing about females.

Or so he thought.

He arrived at the skating rink, bag of pads in hand. He spotted Kairi and walked quickly towards her. “Hey, Kairi, I got your—”

“Oh, hey, Sora! Good news! I found a pad machine in the bathroom and got one there. Thanks anyway, though.” Kairi looked cheerful.

The bag fell from Sora’s hands. His mouth hung open. To top it off, one teenager skating past them saw the pads on the ground and commented, “Eww! Granny pads! Who uses those?”

Sora groaned and plopped onto the floor. Kairi rushed over to him, apparently concerned.

“Sora, what’s wrong?” she asked, worried.

Sora shook his head and closed his eyes. Girls, he decided, were not only scary, but also confusing as hell.

Snow · October 12th, 2009, 03:20 PM

Oh My God! I really loled hard at the Riku part. I was like, boy, this must have been awkward.

Then 'granny pads'...

8shortfuse · October 12th, 2009, 04:08 PM

haha! I remember this one! lol

Totally hilarious!

Disc Jockey · October 12th, 2009, 04:11 PM

LMFAO. That is all I have to say. That, and Riku is adorable.

Please write another story! :D

zettaLOL · October 12th, 2009, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Oh My God! I really loled hard at the Riku part. I was like, boy, this must have been awkward.

Then 'granny pads'...

=D ty, ty! *takes a bow*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disc Jockey

LMFAO. That is all I have to say. That, and Riku is adorable.

Please write another story! :D

haha, i think i would have hung up too, don't you?

i might put another one on KHinsider....maybe....most of my stories are just short and goofy, like this one.

Bellaisima358 · October 12th, 2009, 06:25 PM

ha ha ha I loved this! I loled at sora trying to figure out which pad to buy...and then kairi just finds one. You're awesome!

TwilightRiku_13 · October 13th, 2009, 03:44 AM

Oh my God, that was so totally hilarious!!! My favorite part was when Sora was on the phone with Riku; loved it when Riku hung up on him. Anyway, great job, and I hope you write more.

varsha · October 13th, 2009, 11:40 PM

XD
Lol that was funny.
Kairi asking Sora to get pads for kairi and then when he come back after all that hassel Kairi found one XD
You have got write more!

**Hikari** · October 14th, 2009, 03:18 AM

Haha this story was cute :D
The whole Riku phone convo seemed like it would happen.
Plus, how awkward would it be to ask your best guy friend what type of FEMININE pads he should by

October 12th, 2009, 03:14 PM	#1
zettaLOL Heartless Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Ohio, U.S. Age: 19 Posts: 56 Rep Power: 1 Level: EXP:	Feminine Pads -- a funny fanfic <---a (crappy) MS Paint illustration to go with it, lol Um, yeah. I have no idea. Like weird, random stories? Then this is the one for you. It's pretty short, no chapters or anything. lol ~~~~~~~ “AHHHH!!” A deafening scream pierced the air. Sora became alert immediately. That was Kairi! But where was she? Sora looked around in a panic, but nowhere could he find her red hair peeking above the crowd. What had happened to her? The day had begun as a simple date to the roller rink, but now… Sweat rolled down Sora’s forehead. Kairi’s shrill yell must have meant something bad had happened. Maybe heartless had appeared, or there was another emergency situation from King Mickey, or worse—a new math test was coming up soon. Unfortunately, there was no way of knowing, because Kairi was missing. Sora skated through a small crowd of people, nearly knocking over a little boy in his haste. Finally, to his strong relief, he spotted Kairi. She was leaning against the back wall with her hands behind her back. Her face was flushed a deep scarlet color. “Kairi, what’s wrong?” Sora asked in a fearful tone. “N-nothing…” Kairi responded hesitantly. “Just…uh, can we go home now?” Sora was puzzled. If nothing had happened, why was Kairi acting so strangely? And why did she want to leave? They had just arrived at the skating rink twenty minutes ago. This made absolutely no sense. “What? Why?” Sora was definitely missing out on something here. As soon as he asked the question, he wished he hadn’t, because Kairi burst out in tears. What the--?! Now what had he done wrong? “K-Kairi, it’ll be okay. Um…” It wasn’t like Kairi to cry; she was normally quite strong-willed. So Sora had no clue how to handle this awkward situation. People were beginning to stare, so he tried his best to calm Kairi down. “Uh, we can leave if you like. It’s alright. So, er…let’s go—” “No!” Sora had begun tugging Kairi away from the wall to find the exit, but Kairi violently shoved his away. This left Sora bewildered and somewhat hurt. Had he done something to make Kairi angry? He tried recalling earlier parts of the day he spent with her, but nothing out of the norm was in his memory. And Kairi had been fine earlier. Kairi’s face turned another shade deeper, and she whirled around, revealing her backside as secretly as she could manage. Sora looked there and— “Oh, my God! Kairi, you’re bleeding! Call the paramedics or get Donald to use cure or—” “Sora! Shut up!” Kairi covered Sora’s mouth with her hand, a tear streaming down her face again. “Do you want the whole world to know I’m on my period?” “But Kairi, you’re bleedi—oh.” She was on her period. Yeahhhhh. That’s all it was… “Oh.” Sora was speechless. His face turned pale. “Uh…” Now he really had no clue how to help her. Kairi stood there, defenseless, sobbing, with blood pouring out of her—oh, God. Sora’s mind was blank. He could have stood there frozen like a stone for the entire day. Luckily, Kairi broke the silence and came to her wits first. “I knew today was my heavy bleeding day, so I brought an extra pair of jeans just in case, but now my favorite pants are ruined! Oh, I shouldn’t have worn them today. I wonder if I can get the stain out. Ah, but if I can’t, these…” Kairi prattled on and on about her precious soiled jeans, but Sora’s mind had been going on shut down mode since he’d heard her utter, “heavy bleeding.” How the heck was he supposed to deal with this mess? Until now, he had completely forgotten that girls even—well, you know. “Sora, you’ve got to help me,” Kairi pleaded. Upon hearing his name, Sora snapped back into focus. “Um…how can I help exactly?” “I need you to buy me something,” Kairi said, wiping away a last tear. Uh-oh, Sora thought. He had a bad feeling about this… And rightly so, because Kairi’s impossible quest for him was, “Would you please buy me…a pack of pads?” “…” “It’s not that hard. My pads aren’t heavy-duty enough for today, but I don’t want to spoil another pair of jeans.” “…” “But I can’t leave like—like this. It would be mortifying!” “…” “You just need to go to the convenience store next door. It’ll only take five minutes or so.” “…” “Sora, are you listening to me?” Sora was hysterical. “I can’t do it! I don’t know anything about this girly stuff! Have a friend do it for you or something—anyone but me, please!” Sympathetic as he felt, there was no way in hell he was going to march into a store and… -------------------------------------- “I need some pads,” Sora muttered into the phone. He peered around, making sure no one was within hearing distance. “What? Sora, is that you?” Riku sounded confused. “I think I misheard what you said—” “Oh, no. You heard me correctly. I need pads.” “Shoulder pads? Knee pads?” “Feminine pads.” There was a pause. Finally, Riku asked, “Where are you?” “The convenience store next to the roller rink.” Damn Kairi’s puppy dog face! Her beautiful pouting gaze, those sad violet eyes staring into his…how could he say no? With that look, Kairi could make Sora do virtually anything. He shuttered in the realization that women were scary like that. Anyway, here he was, and there was no turning back now. He gripped money in one hand, his cell phone tightly in the other, standing alone in the aisle that no testosterone-loaded being had ever dared to venture into before. Over the phone, Riku seemed just as clueless as Sora. “Well, just grab a box of ‘em off the shelf and go,” he suggested. “That’s what I was going to do, but it’s not that simple,” Sora explained miserably. With girls, nothing was simple. “Well, why not? Are they sold out or something?” “No, it’s the opposite! There’s so many of them!” And that was the truth. There were different brands, sizes, types…it was an endless pile of varying feminine products. “Well…um…I gotta go,” Riku said quickly, obviously making up an excuse to get out of the sticky situation. “I’ll see you lat—” “No, you don’t! Riku, you liar, help me out here!” But he was already gone. Frustrated, Sora prepared to hit redial, but just then, a woman appeared behind him. “Need some help, sir?” she asked. Sora stared at her for a few seconds, his mind still trying to comprehend everything. He saw a “HELLO, my name is Kathy” nametag and a cheap sales pitch smile, and he knew she must work here. Oh, what the heck, he thought, I might as well get help from this lady. What’ll it hurt? “I need pads,” he responded, pointing to the full shelves. The woman, Kathy, stifled a chuckle. “I see,” she said, clearing her throat. “What kind?” “Um…the heavy kind.” That’s what Kairi had said she needed, right? After they shuffled through several different boxes, Sora finally came across one that was satisfactory. At least, he hoped it was. The woman explained that they were called ‘maxi’, and they had wings, whatever those were. Then he had the store clerk ring them up. He paid for them and left in a hurry. Though that had been extremely embarrassing, Sora felt very proud of himself. He believed he had handled the problem well, and he now understood one thing about females. Or so he thought. He arrived at the skating rink, bag of pads in hand. He spotted Kairi and walked quickly towards her. “Hey, Kairi, I got your—” “Oh, hey, Sora! Good news! I found a pad machine in the bathroom and got one there. Thanks anyway, though.” Kairi looked cheerful. The bag fell from Sora’s hands. His mouth hung open. To top it off, one teenager skating past them saw the pads on the ground and commented, “Eww! Granny pads! Who uses those?” Sora groaned and plopped onto the floor. Kairi rushed over to him, apparently concerned. “Sora, what’s wrong?” she asked, worried. Sora shook his head and closed his eyes. Girls, he decided, were not only scary, but also confusing as hell.

October 12th, 2009, 04:08 PM	#3
8shortfuse Sidekick Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Go BUCKS!!! (there's you're hint!) Age: 18 Posts: 268 Rep Power: 3 Level: EXP:	Re: Feminine Pads -- a funny fanfic haha! I remember this one! lol Totally hilarious!

October 12th, 2009, 04:11 PM	#4
Disc Jockey Keyblade Wielder Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: wonderland. Age: 14 Posts: 494 Rep Power: 1 Currently playing: Pokemon Sapphire. Level: EXP:	Re: Feminine Pads -- a funny fanfic LMFAO. That is all I have to say. That, and Riku is adorable. Please write another story! :D

October 13th, 2009, 03:44 AM	#7
TwilightRiku_13 Organization Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking the red and cheering on the Washington Capitals Posts: 824 Rep Power: 2 Currently playing: Kingdom Hearts I Level: EXP:	Re: Feminine Pads -- a funny fanfic Oh my God, that was so totally hilarious!!! My favorite part was when Sora was on the phone with Riku; loved it when Riku hung up on him. Anyway, great job, and I hope you write more.

October 13th, 2009, 11:40 PM	#8
varsha Dual Wielder Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Looking for a friend that cares... Age: 12 Posts: 586 Rep Power: 2 Currently playing: the new jak and daxter game! Level: EXP:	Re: Feminine Pads -- a funny fanfic XD Lol that was funny. Kairi asking Sora to get pads for kairi and then when he come back after all that hassel Kairi found one XD You have got write more!

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