Road To Oblivion

Chaosmax · October 10th, 2009, 02:24 AM

ROAD TO OBLIVION
Epilogue

“Mmmm” I struggled to get up. Nothing was around me, once were cities was but a wasteland now. “No don’t kill –“but it was too late. The dark figure had slain Riku with his keyblade. He moved towards an unconscious Kairi. He looked at her for a moment then he pierced it through her heart and she vanished like Riku and the king had. “Why are you doing this” I cried. “You fought the evil and now you’re on their side?” “I am on no one’s side but my own. Ah young Alex now you shall meet the fate of Oblivion like the others have” said the mysterious figure. “No” I yelled. “I won’t let you win!” Alex said rushing at him.

Alex pulled out Oblivion and attacked him. ? put up a dark shield and lunged at him. “Now taste this DARK FIRAGA TWISTER!!” He yelled and a dark purple vortex erupted from his keyblade and I was burning from the flames and was getting teared apart from the winds at the same time. I got up and teleported behind him striking his side. ? got up and lunged at me, just as I was about to put up a shield he dashed behind me and knocked Oblivion out of his hand. His organization outfit was still burning from the dark flames. “NO THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING” I cried. He aimed the keyblade at his head and was about to finish his off, but I summoned a gravity and time spell to stop him and stood breathing heavily. “Is that all you got?” said mysterious figure. I summoned the Clockwork keyblade and made a portal. “NO!” the figure cried.

I hopped in and was traveling back in time. “I’m gona make sure this never happens,” I said. Little did I know that he had followed me? He had gone 15 years back and saw himself, he had remembered that day.

“Everybody lets welcome our 15th member Alex” Xemnas announced.

The Pinwheel · October 10th, 2009, 02:27 AM

I'm sorry this goes in the bad fanfiction forum

Chaosmax · October 10th, 2009, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Pinwheel

I'm sorry this goes in the bad fanfiction forum

I know< I mean I tried to think of sumthing to type but I couldn't think of anything.

Chaosmax · October 10th, 2009, 03:48 AM

Ok check it out now, I made new changes and edited it.

Chaos · October 10th, 2009, 03:59 AM

its good and all but your mistaking some words like his and him and also alittle spelling other than that its good

Chaosmax · October 10th, 2009, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chaos

its good and all but your mistaking some words like his and him and also alittle spelling other than that its good

thx I mean it's alright but I'm thinking of what to type next. Can u sorta tell ppl bout this? I want to make great fanfics like the 1's I read about.

Disc Jockey · October 10th, 2009, 06:00 AM

you, my friend, need help.
bad: the whole chapter just like flew by. there were absolutely no details going on and i don't know where they are, who they are, or what they are doing. they are all just run-on sentences and i really could not understand a thing.
good: uh... the plot looks... interesting. not very unique. i'll look into this in the next chapter.

Nevermore · October 10th, 2009, 07:54 AM

Does no one know what the difference between a prologue and an epilogue is anymore?

**Rapidus Procella** · October 10th, 2009, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nevermore

Does no one know what the difference between a prologue and an epilogue is anymore?

You know kids these days, the more we teach them, the more they forget.

Chaosmax · October 13th, 2009, 01:15 AM

Okay it's official that it sucks, so I'm making a new one and the storyline is on ma user. I don't know how to start this new one off so could someone help with that? Plz just give me some tips on how to start it of cuz I have the story in ma head and it's not bad in my opinion just need to know what to start off with.

October 10th, 2009, 02:24 AM	#1
Chaosmax Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: .......In the Keyblade War Age: 14 Posts: 124 Rep Power: 3 Currently playing: NBA10: The Inside Level: EXP:	Road To Oblivion ROAD TO OBLIVION Epilogue “Mmmm” I struggled to get up. Nothing was around me, once were cities was but a wasteland now. “No don’t kill –“but it was too late. The dark figure had slain Riku with his keyblade. He moved towards an unconscious Kairi. He looked at her for a moment then he pierced it through her heart and she vanished like Riku and the king had. “Why are you doing this” I cried. “You fought the evil and now you’re on their side?” “I am on no one’s side but my own. Ah young Alex now you shall meet the fate of Oblivion like the others have” said the mysterious figure. “No” I yelled. “I won’t let you win!” Alex said rushing at him. Alex pulled out Oblivion and attacked him. ? put up a dark shield and lunged at him. “Now taste this DARK FIRAGA TWISTER!!” He yelled and a dark purple vortex erupted from his keyblade and I was burning from the flames and was getting teared apart from the winds at the same time. I got up and teleported behind him striking his side. ? got up and lunged at me, just as I was about to put up a shield he dashed behind me and knocked Oblivion out of his hand. His organization outfit was still burning from the dark flames. “NO THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING” I cried. He aimed the keyblade at his head and was about to finish his off, but I summoned a gravity and time spell to stop him and stood breathing heavily. “Is that all you got?” said mysterious figure. I summoned the Clockwork keyblade and made a portal. “NO!” the figure cried. I hopped in and was traveling back in time. “I’m gona make sure this never happens,” I said. Little did I know that he had followed me? He had gone 15 years back and saw himself, he had remembered that day. “Everybody lets welcome our 15th member Alex” Xemnas announced. Last edited by Chaosmax; October 10th, 2009 at 03:50 AM. Reason: Was 2 lame

October 10th, 2009, 02:27 AM	#2
The Pinwheel Enigmatic Soldier Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: RAAAPPPPEEEEE Posts: 958 Rep Power: 3 Level: EXP:	Re: Road To Oblivion I'm sorry this goes in the bad fanfiction forum

October 10th, 2009, 03:48 AM	#4
Chaosmax Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: .......In the Keyblade War Age: 14 Posts: 124 Rep Power: 3 Currently playing: NBA10: The Inside Level: EXP:	Re: Road To Oblivion Ok check it out now, I made new changes and edited it.

October 10th, 2009, 06:00 AM	#7
Disc Jockey Keyblade Wielder Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: wonderland. Age: 14 Posts: 495 Rep Power: 1 Currently playing: Pokemon Sapphire. Level: EXP:	Re: Road To Oblivion you, my friend, need help. bad: the whole chapter just like flew by. there were absolutely no details going on and i don't know where they are, who they are, or what they are doing. they are all just run-on sentences and i really could not understand a thing. good: uh... the plot looks... interesting. not very unique. i'll look into this in the next chapter.

October 13th, 2009, 01:15 AM	#10
Chaosmax Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: .......In the Keyblade War Age: 14 Posts: 124 Rep Power: 3 Currently playing: NBA10: The Inside Level: EXP:	Re: Road To Oblivion Okay it's official that it sucks, so I'm making a new one and the storyline is on ma user. I don't know how to start this new one off so could someone help with that? Plz just give me some tips on how to start it of cuz I have the story in ma head and it's not bad in my opinion just need to know what to start off with.

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