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Old October 3rd, 2009, 01:12 AM   #1
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Default Blinding Light

Ch1: Mysterious voice

A voice rang through Destiny Islands. Sora had heard it. It sounded so familiar. But he didn't know why. Suddenly, a black cloaked figure ran past. He was screaming. But it wasn't the voice Sora heard.

"AUGHHHHHH! BAD HEARTLESS, BAD!" shouted the figure. A swarm of thousands of Rapid Thrusters were chasing him.

"Awww, man." complained Sora. He summoned his Keyblade, but it wasn't the Kingdom Key. It was the Serendiptious Pair. He didn't remember equiping it.

"Weird." said Sora. "Oh well." He rushed into battle, slaying hundreds of Heartless as he ran. Just then, the voice came back.

"Use Fire!" it shouted. Sora did as the voice instructed. It burned the entire swarm.

"Wow." said the figure. "You.... wiped them all out at once!" Then he ran back off, fearing more Heartless.

"Okay?" said Sora.


Not a very good opening, methinks. But you could guess who the figure was, no problem!
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 01:38 AM   #2
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Um is the cloaked figure an Organization XIII member perhaps? Demyx maybe?

Well annnyyywayssss
It could use some work but eh, you're starting out so w/e
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 01:39 AM   #3
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Not much of an opening but it's good.
Let me guess, the figure sounded like Demyx.
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 01:57 AM   #4
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Default Re: Blinding Light

i have absolutely no idea what's going on ^^
please explain next chapter.
you need work on your body language. hopefully will be better.
good luck :)
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 02:37 AM   #5
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Well...

For a chapter, that is like... Short.

But you need to try to make the emotions of characters felt both in and out of dialogue.
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 02:41 AM   #6
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Default Re: Blinding Light

I have the same problem with length shadow... =w=;

You'll learn to add more as you get used to the cast. Anywho, good intro for a starter thing.
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Old October 3rd, 2009, 06:26 AM   #7
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Default Re: Blinding Light

If any of ya'll guessed Demyx, YOU GET A COOKIE! He's my fave Org.XIII member.
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Old October 4th, 2009, 07:14 AM   #8
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Hooray! *bites cookie*
Now make more chapters!
Hah, I don't want to preasure you. *hands stres releif pill*
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Old October 7th, 2009, 01:56 AM   #9
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Relax, I'm still thinking.
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Old October 12th, 2009, 10:04 PM   #10
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Ch2: The small Creeper

Sora had caught up to the figure. His hood was off, and Sora could clearly see his face. It was Demyx.

"What did I tell you about doing that voice thing?" He shouted at a Creeper.

"Sorry, Demyx." it said.

Sora was in the bushes when something pushed him into the open. Demyx wasn't too startled. But the Creeper was.

"SORA!?" it shouted.

"How do you know me?" Sora said.

"NEVER MIND THAT!" shouted Demyx. "We have to save the others."

"Why? What happened to them, Demyx?" Sora asked.

"The same thing that happened to Roxas. Turned into a Creeper." he answered.

"Wait... THIS is Roxas?" Sora shouted.

"Yep." said Demyx. "I happen to know where one is. Come on!"


And now Sora has to go on another journey. Don't worry, Roxas doesn't stay a Creeper for long.
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Old October 12th, 2009, 11:30 PM   #11
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Default Re: Blinding Light

I wonder what this buisness about Roxas and everyone else truning into a creper is about?
Can't wait for more (really, it took you that long to write that much?)
Lol, it's not bad.
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Old October 13th, 2009, 10:04 PM   #12
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Default Re: Blinding Light

Quote:
Originally Posted by varsha View Post
I wonder what this buisness about Roxas and everyone else truning into a creper is about?
Can't wait for more (really, it took you that long to write that much?)
Lol, it's not bad.
Well, first off, I'm gonna reveal it later.

Second, It took me that long to THINK of what to write.

And thanks.
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Old October 14th, 2009, 12:13 AM   #13
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Default Re: Blinding Light

why the hell is roxas a creeper?????????????????
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