| | #1 |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: End Of The World, where else? Posts: 123
Rep Power: 0 ![]() Level: EXP: | Ch1: Mysterious voice A voice rang through Destiny Islands. Sora had heard it. It sounded so familiar. But he didn't know why. Suddenly, a black cloaked figure ran past. He was screaming. But it wasn't the voice Sora heard. "AUGHHHHHH! BAD HEARTLESS, BAD!" shouted the figure. A swarm of thousands of Rapid Thrusters were chasing him. "Awww, man." complained Sora. He summoned his Keyblade, but it wasn't the Kingdom Key. It was the Serendiptious Pair. He didn't remember equiping it. "Weird." said Sora. "Oh well." He rushed into battle, slaying hundreds of Heartless as he ran. Just then, the voice came back. "Use Fire!" it shouted. Sora did as the voice instructed. It burned the entire swarm. "Wow." said the figure. "You.... wiped them all out at once!" Then he ran back off, fearing more Heartless. "Okay?" said Sora. Not a very good opening, methinks. But you could guess who the figure was, no problem! |
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| | #2 |
| Rion is blindfolded kinkyness | Um is the cloaked figure an Organization XIII member perhaps? Demyx maybe? Well annnyyywayssss It could use some work but eh, you're starting out so w/e |
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| | #3 |
| Dual Wielder | Not much of an opening but it's good. Let me guess, the figure sounded like Demyx. |
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| | #4 |
| Keyblade Wielder | i have absolutely no idea what's going on ^^ please explain next chapter. you need work on your body language. hopefully will be better. good luck :) |
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| | #5 |
| A Christmas Slug Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Somewhere hugging my Xion plushie! Age: 16 Posts: 1,736
Rep Power: 3 ![]() ![]() Level: 14 EXP: | Well... For a chapter, that is like... Short. But you need to try to make the emotions of characters felt both in and out of dialogue. |
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| | #6 |
| Sound Synthesizer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: A program forever destined to sing. Even if I'm a toy that just sings, I find that ok and look up. Posts: 2,225
Rep Power: 4 ![]() ![]() Level: 31 EXP: | I have the same problem with length shadow... =w=; You'll learn to add more as you get used to the cast. Anywho, good intro for a starter thing. |
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| | #7 |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: End Of The World, where else? Posts: 123
Rep Power: 0 ![]() Level: EXP: | If any of ya'll guessed Demyx, YOU GET A COOKIE! He's my fave Org.XIII member. |
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| | #8 |
| Dual Wielder | Hooray! *bites cookie* Now make more chapters! Hah, I don't want to preasure you. *hands stres releif pill* |
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| | #9 |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: End Of The World, where else? Posts: 123
Rep Power: 0 ![]() Level: EXP: | Relax, I'm still thinking. |
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| | #10 |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: End Of The World, where else? Posts: 123
Rep Power: 0 ![]() Level: EXP: | Ch2: The small Creeper Sora had caught up to the figure. His hood was off, and Sora could clearly see his face. It was Demyx. "What did I tell you about doing that voice thing?" He shouted at a Creeper. "Sorry, Demyx." it said. Sora was in the bushes when something pushed him into the open. Demyx wasn't too startled. But the Creeper was. "SORA!?" it shouted. "How do you know me?" Sora said. "NEVER MIND THAT!" shouted Demyx. "We have to save the others." "Why? What happened to them, Demyx?" Sora asked. "The same thing that happened to Roxas. Turned into a Creeper." he answered. "Wait... THIS is Roxas?" Sora shouted. "Yep." said Demyx. "I happen to know where one is. Come on!" And now Sora has to go on another journey. Don't worry, Roxas doesn't stay a Creeper for long. |
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| | #11 |
| Dual Wielder | I wonder what this buisness about Roxas and everyone else truning into a creper is about? Can't wait for more (really, it took you that long to write that much?) Lol, it's not bad. |
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| | #12 | |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: End Of The World, where else? Posts: 123
Rep Power: 0 ![]() Level: EXP: | Quote:
Second, It took me that long to THINK of what to write. And thanks. | |
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| | #13 |
| Dual Wielder Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: watching Adam Lamber's AMA performance with Axel (dont wacth around young ones. trust me. *_*) Posts: 570
Rep Power: 1 ![]() Currently playing: Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (Day 302) Level: EXP: | why the hell is roxas a creeper????????????????? |
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