Kingdom Hearts III: Heroes at War

[The Future]

I've been working on this fanfic for a while. I hope you guys like it :)
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Kingdom Hearts III: Heroes at War

Prequel

-Traverse Town-

Our story begins in the world of Traverse Town where the citizens of the town were holding their first annual "Peace in the Worlds" party. People from all ages were dancing in the streets, having a good time. Nothing could go wrong. This party couldn't have happened if it wasn't for the heroes, Sora, Donald, and Goofy who defeated Organization XIII, and ever since then, there was no sign of Nobodies and Heartless.... Until now.

Flames bursted from the buildings for no explained reason, then out of nowhere, all kinds of Nobodies and Heartless and two figures with white cloaks flew out of the burning buildings. The people started running, little kids were crying. You could hear the screams from anywhere in the town. It felt like it wasn't happening... But it was.

-Destiny Islands-

Sora was tossing and turning, he flung himself up. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were wide. He had just seen what had happened in Traverse Town. The spikey brown haired Keyblade wielder was scared, it didn't seem normal.Was it a dream, or a vision?

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I know it isn't much, but I just wanted to get started with it just to give you a taste of what's gonna happen in the fanfic.

[Disc Jockey]

Hmmmm... The plot seems very creative.

Only one thing: There's nobody talking. And so it went by really fast. I know you said it's really short just to give us a taste, but hopefully you'll explain in the next chapters in more detail about what goes on.

I'll keep my eye out for it, best of luck! ^^

[The Future]

Originally Posted by Disc Jockey

Hmmmm... The plot seems very creative.

Only one thing: There's nobody talking. And so it went by really fast. I know you said it's really short just to give us a taste, but hopefully you'll explain in the next chapters in more detail about what goes on.

I'll keep my eye out for it, best of luck! ^^

I meant for no talking. I was just trying to set a mood for what was to come.

The chapter posts will be very, very, very long lol.

Anyway, thanks :)

[Ramenz]

Originally Posted by The Future

I've been working on this fanfic for a while. I hope you guys like it :)
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Kingdom Hearts III: Heroes at War

Prequel

-Traverse Town-

Our story begins in the world of Traverse Town where the citizens of the town were holding their first annual "Peace in the Worlds" party. People from all ages were dancing in the streets, having a good time. Nothing could go wrong. This party couldn't have happened if it wasn't for the heroes, Sora, Donald, and Goofy who defeated Organization XIII, and ever since then, there was no sign of Nobodies and Heartless.... Until now.

Flames bursted from the buildings for no explained reason, then out of nowhere, all kinds of Nobodies and Heartless and two figures with white cloaks flew out of the burning buildings. The people started running, little kids were crying. You could hear the screams from anywhere in the town. It felt like it wasn't happening... But it was.

-Destiny Islands-

Sora was tossing and turning, he flung himself up. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were wide. He had just seen what had happened in Traverse Town. The spikey brown haired Keyblade wielder was scared, it didn't seem normal.Was it a dream, or a vision?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

I know it isn't most, but I just wanted to get started with it just to give you a taste of what's gonna happen in the fanfic.

the Sora part reminds me of 'Twilight' a bit.. but it's still pretty tight :)

[varsha]

Sounds interesting.
I wonder who those white cloaked guys are O_o
Maybe a heartless and nobody enfused together in the prossess of transformation.
Who know, besides it was a wild guess^^
Write more, I got the feeling that this will be a goos story.

[Tenyasyugan]

Ooh. I can't wait to see the long chapters!

So far you're good but it all went by fast... Will there be dialogue in future statements?

[The Future]

Originally Posted by Tenyasyugan

Will there be dialogue in future statements?

Of course :D

[Hikari]

Originally Posted by The Future

I've been working on this fanfic for a while. I hope you guys like it :)

I guess you gave up on your other one right?

-Traverse Town- yada yada yada

Well to start off, I don't like how it begins with: "our story begins with..."
It sounds to cartoony like the Powerfuff Girls when the narrator says: "our sotry begins in the wonderful city of Townsville!" It just doesn't feel right ya know?
Sigh, I'd think you'd do best if you addedmore DETAIL. Yeah I get your a certain age but you have to be aware that there are many better writers than you and they don't just forget detail.
Correct me if I'm wrong and you're doing that on purpose for the sake of the story, like the format you've made for it. Because if not add detail.

I know it isn't most, but I just wanted to get started with it just to give you a taste of what's gonna happen in the fanfic.

Alright then :)

[Snow]

Too fast, and not enough detail given. In my mind, I can see festivities, but I can't see it proceeding, I don't even know what they are doing in the festivities, I can't see what is going on apart from the fact that everyone is dancing. All I know is that they are celebrating. And that's not good.

And I just can't feel anything when Sora wakes up. In such a thing, one should be feeling anticipation and tension, all I feel is 'ok, he woke up, who cares', you get the point.

Apart from writing technique, plot is great, though.

[The Future]

There isn't enough detail because I don't want anything to be revealed to Sora, since IT IS A DREAM, it's supposed to be blurry, if you know what I mean.

I've improved a lot with my writing since "The Lost Keyhole" just wait and see. This prequel was SUPPOSED to go fast because IT IS JUST TO START THIS THING OFF, the chapters are going to be long and there will be DETAIL!

But, I don't have to tell you guys, I'll just let my story do the talking.

I know it isn't most,

What the hell did I say that for? I meant much.

Anyway, sorry for my little tirade, chapter 1 will be up soon.