Organization Mini Stories

JustCallMeShadow · September 17th, 2009, 09:15 PM

Mini 1
Axel's reaction

Demyx thought it would be funny to not tell Axel where they were going on the mission.
"I don't think it's such a good idea to take Axel there without telling him...." said Xion.
"Oh, relax, this is gonna be really funny!" said Demyx.
"But you know how much he hates water!" said Xaldin.
"That's why it's gonna be funny!" said Demyx.
"I'd better tag along to watch, then." said Larxene.

"WAGHHHHH!" shouted Axel when they were in Atlantica.
"BWAHAHAHA!" laughed Demyx and Larxene.
"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!" shouted Axel.
"Uh oh!" said Demyx, swimming away with Larxene.
"COME BACK HERE!" shouted Axel, giving chase.

Tell me what you think about this one. Although bad replies will leave me broken-hearted.

Tenyasyugan · September 17th, 2009, 09:17 PM

It was cute, but I wanna see more bulk to each story if you don't mind Shadow-kun ^.^

Axel in atlantica... XD Wait! Larxene could fry everything there into Fish sticks!

HeartOfTheHero · September 17th, 2009, 09:17 PM

not bad, but you could elaborate on it a bit, maybe say what happened if Axel catches them or something like that

varsha · September 19th, 2009, 11:12 PM

Funny story XD
But you could maybe make it a bit longer, otherwise I suggest giving people heads up and call it "super mini stories"
but then it's all up to you.
make some more since all I see is one.
don't forget about the size

Disc Jockey · September 19th, 2009, 11:20 PM

What evereybody else said, it needs bulk.
I like the story though! You can describe what's going on, like how they are getting there, and what Axel did to deserve that. Can't wait for another, better story! ^^

September 17th, 2009, 09:15 PM	#1
JustCallMeShadow Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: End Of The World, where else? Posts: 123 Rep Power: 0 Level: EXP:	Organization Mini Stories Mini 1 Axel's reaction Demyx thought it would be funny to not tell Axel where they were going on the mission. "I don't think it's such a good idea to take Axel there without telling him...." said Xion. "Oh, relax, this is gonna be really funny!" said Demyx. "But you know how much he hates water!" said Xaldin. "That's why it's gonna be funny!" said Demyx. "I'd better tag along to watch, then." said Larxene. "WAGHHHHH!" shouted Axel when they were in Atlantica. "BWAHAHAHA!" laughed Demyx and Larxene. "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!" shouted Axel. "Uh oh!" said Demyx, swimming away with Larxene. "COME BACK HERE!" shouted Axel, giving chase. Tell me what you think about this one. Although bad replies will leave me broken-hearted.

September 17th, 2009, 09:17 PM	#3
HeartOfTheHero Dual Wielder Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Honestly, I don't even know anymore Age: 16 Posts: 558 Rep Power: 1 Currently playing: FF7 Crisis Core Level: EXP:	Re: Organization Mini Stories not bad, but you could elaborate on it a bit, maybe say what happened if Axel catches them or something like that

September 19th, 2009, 11:12 PM	#4
varsha Dual Wielder Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Looking for a friend that cares... Age: 12 Posts: 586 Rep Power: 2 Currently playing: the new jak and daxter game! Level: EXP:	Re: Organization Mini Stories Funny story XD But you could maybe make it a bit longer, otherwise I suggest giving people heads up and call it "super mini stories" but then it's all up to you. make some more since all I see is one. don't forget about the size

September 19th, 2009, 11:20 PM	#5
Disc Jockey Keyblade Wielder Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: wonderland. Age: 14 Posts: 495 Rep Power: 1 Currently playing: Pokemon Sapphire. Level: EXP:	Re: Organization Mini Stories What evereybody else said, it needs bulk. I like the story though! You can describe what's going on, like how they are getting there, and what Axel did to deserve that. Can't wait for another, better story! ^^

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