August 4th, 2009, 06:35 AM
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| superb moderator Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: midwest side Posts: 5,533
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  |  kh4: warriors of light [chapter 16] alright so here's how things went down about six months ago i got into a quarrel with the united states president of scholastic writing and he was unhappy with my previous novel sales (this novel can be seen here: http://forums.khinsider.com/your-vie...3-22-09-a.html) yeah so you see they were unhappy with my previous novel sales because i was putting that henry potter manga out of business or something like that and scholastic couldn't have that so they discontinued my original book well you know what i says? i says something along the lines of “fuck it” but i am not allowed to cuss so i really just ended up saying “man this is buck wild” in retaliation i joined a rogue writing organization known as the transcendentalists and you know what? I met a legendary writer known as henry david thoreau (famous transcendentalist who wrote the book walden which chronicles his two year stay at walden pond) and i showed thoreau my original story and he loved it quite a bit ralph waldo emerson (another transcendentalist) didn't like it too much but he's an enormous pussy because he's all talk so me and thoreau drowned him in walden pond anyway continuing on thoreau and i moved to walden pond and we started working on our own stories and we distribute them on the black market in hopes of exposing the world to good literature (he is currently working on the eighth harry potter novel which will be released circa 2013) me: hello henry how is the 8th harry potter coming along henry david thoreau: pretty good buster as for me i have been working on a sequel to kh3: heartless warfare and it's called kh4: warriors of light and i am proud to say that it is coming along! I have provided a neat little table of contents here so enjoy the show! kingdom hearts 4: warriors of light this time it's personal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Table of Continents: prologue [0000] chapter one [000A] chapter two [000B] chapter three [000C] chapter four [000D] chapter five [000E] chapter six [000F] chapter seven [000G] chapter eight [000H] chapter nine [000I] chapter ten [000J] chapter eleven [000K] chapter twelve [000L] chapter thirteen [000M] chapter fourteen [000N] chapter fifteen [000O] chapter sixteen [000P] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [0000] gran turismo 5: prologue theme song: YouTube - Xenogears Music - Bonds of Sea and Fire 40 years have passed since the events of kingdom hearts 3: heartless warfare and let me tell you how things have occurred since the incident the last story kinda ended on a cliffhanger and that's fine! All good things must leave the fans guessing but here i am once more to inform the populace on how sora's life went after kh3 sora journeyed for like 3 years in search of a way to destroy the enigmatic ****** (the main villain of kh3) but he got kinda tired and decided to stop journeying on his way back home he got hit by an oncoming train and he forgot everything about his past as a result he went to college at university of illinois where he majored in engineering and passed with flying colors! Unfortunately the economy has been bad so sora could not get a good job instead he took up work at the local bed & breakfast with his old buddy leon and together they raked in like 4 or 5 figs per year (not a lot though but that's fine with sora because he's hella positive!) he retired at the age of 50 and took up life at a local nursing home because he was awarded arthritis and he is unable to move very well so he couldn't stay by himself and his family kind of doesn't like him at all so he is forced to stay at this nursing home he is now 56 years old to be began ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000A] chapter one: summer love theme song: YouTube - Nickelback - how you Remind me “dagnabbit my leg hurts” said sora at the nursing home “shut up and eat your damn soup” said the nurse, who was also a retired military veteran named solid snake sora ate the soup and he did not like it no sir so here's what he does he takes the soup by the bowl and pours it down snake's shirt and runs but he's really old now you see so he can't really run very fast so snake caught up to him snake hit him kinda hard but not too hard “snake i'm terribly sorry you see i've just been very depressed lately, i really hate this nursing home it's so depressing” said sora snake replied by opening his mouth and making sounds that formed a reply “sora you cannot keep doing this, your parents want you to stay here so i suggest you keep your act together or else i will be left with no choice but to harm most of your family” replied solid snake three days later.... “nurse!” yelled sora. “nurse! nurse!” what is it sora replied snake my back hurts i got just the idea to help you then replied snake in a helpful tone the two went outside and did a push up contest the contest ended up like this: sora – 0.5 push ups snake – 0 push ups snake became jealous over the next few weeks and decided that he was going to get sora back but he wasn't sure how yet so he spent the next couple weeks devising a flawless strategy to get revenge on sora the nursing home had their annual dance where all the foxiest ladies showed up in really nice dresses and stuff and it was all going as snake had planned the way the dance worked was that the males would all line up and the females would then pick their dance partners heh heh says snake in his mind turns out the nursing home consists of 9 dudes and 8 ladies so sora did not get a partner because let's be honest he was probably the least attractive looking dude there except for perhaps louis but he had the flu so he was not present at the dance sora went outside and cried for a few hours and decided to throw rocks at the pond as delicious nickelback music started playing in the background snake's prank wasn't over though he and some old war buddies (robert e. lee and george s. patton respectively) picked up sora by the legs and threw him the pond and then threw three sharks in there sora lost a couple dozen bones but snake played it off like it was a friendly prank so they were pretty tight by the next day but deep down sora was still angry at snake so he devised an even smarter strategy to get him back it took sora a couple weeks to think up but he ended up slashing all of snake's car tires and keying his car a little bit but not too much snake went outside and cried for a few hours and decided to throw rocks at the pond as delicious nickelback music started playing in the background sora's prank wasn't over though he and his nursing home buddy richter belmont ran over snake with a truck but snake had that really cool octocamo or whatever the fuck it's called so the snake that sora thought he ran over was actually nothing damn! says sora needless to say the nursing home was not at all what sora had wanted so the next day he purchases a car (i'm not sure what kind of car it is though i fear i will have to get back to you later on that one) and with this new car sora drives off towards the horizon a new journey had began MEANWHILE ****** was on life support but he couldn't help but laugh because he knew everything was going just as planned to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000B] chapter two: grandpa's day off theme song: YouTube - Ice Cube ft Lil Jon & Snoop Dogg - Go To Church twelve days have passed since soras leaving the nursing home and now the cops were after him because apparently it's bad to have senior citizens on the run sora stopped at a truck stop and sat next to a biker and together they watched some old episodes of kenan and kel this show is great says the trucker next to sora who looked an awful lot like the reader i agree said sora i used to watch this show on nickelodeon a lot back when it was on every saturday followed by all that (not the shitty all that that came out circa 2002) but now it's on the n at 7 in the morning but yeah all in all it's a pretty good show i agree said the reader i could watch it all day that kel gets me laughin' a lot sora left the truck stop after eating a nice meal (2 potatos and corn on the cob) and he headed to the local pizza place and started munching on some pizza he tried to dine and ditch but he kinda backed out at the last second because he was afraid he would feel bad about it afterwards he felt bad anyway because he even considered doing it so it was sort of a lose-lose situation in this state of being sora was very depressed and to add onto his depression he had nowhere to sleep for that so you know what he does well let me tell you what he does he goes ahead and does the following thing you see he does this sora walks into an abandoned warehouse which was ironically the same warehouse where light yagami is killed at the end of death note whoa speak of the devil says i dunno looks like this is when the death scene happens sora was looking at the scene from inside the ventilation system and was watching the death note finale unfold from his very eyes but as sora was listening to light yagami give his speech on why he is justice or whatever and it got sora thinking you know, wonders sora to hisself, light yagami has some pretty solid points you see i kind of like that guy matsuda shoots light yagami because light tried to write the names of the spk members on a secret piece of paper in his watch and light falls to the ground screaming obscenities mastuuuda why are you shooting at me you bastard you fucker don't fuck with me blahblahblah damn says sora i am not liking this turn of events 14 heartless appear behind sora in the ventilation shaft and scared him a bit so sora kicked open one of the vents and jumped down and he landed sorta bad on his neck ow my neck said sora holy shit are you alright replied everyone in the warehouse and they all went to tend to sora and while they were all looking at sora, light yagami was able to escape and write everyone's name in the death note 40 seconds later... goddammit i accidentally wrote in my history notebook shit 40 seconds later... what's this i'm having a heart attack said everyone everyone died credits roll death note anime is over after the credits... i owe you some thanks said light yagami as he helped sora get back up sora fell back down i owe you some thanks said light yagami as he helped sora get back up sora fell back down ow my back i owe you some thanks said light yagami as he helped sora get back up sora fell back down ow my neck “sora, would you like to wield a death note?” asked light yagami “did you kill all the heartless” asked sora “don't worry they are all as good as harmed” replied raito-kun good, good, says sora and he takes a look at the death note and suddenly a giant grimy looking thing stared down at sora nice to meetcha i'm ryuk says ryuk the shinigami sora wrote light's name in the death note and he fell to the ground and had a heart attack died brutally holy shit this really does work says sora i thought it was just kinda like a friendly prank hey, sora says to light as he kicks him a lil' wake up sleepyhead sora says he's dead says ryuk oh, says sora, well you know what, this really isn't my style, i don't think i want it. Thanks though, sora gives ryuk back the death note well if you ever change your mind i'll be in manhattan replies ryuk and he flies off well shucks what to do now i really could use some sleep actually so i think i'll do that sora goes and goes to sleep but his sleep was cut short because a really loud thunderstorm made some thunderous thunder noises and harmed sora's ears so eventually sora woke up and went back to the nursing home to get some sleep “i reckon i'll just sleep at the nursing home until like 5 am and leave before anyone notices me” sora says to himself, “haha yeah that's the perfect plan” unfortunately nothing went as planned because snake pulled the fire alarm as a friendly prank at like 4 in the morning so sora was forced to evacuate the building and everyone saw him goddammit says sora and he tries to jump the balcony in an attempt to evade his pursuers he would have gotten hurt really bad but thankfully the thorn bush broke his fall this is just not my day says sora and he runs off into the distance and after like 2 days of running he meets up with an old buddy by the name of harry s. truman what's up man said harry s. truman and he tried to pound it with sora but instead they shook hands because pounding it's kind of gay now because that faggot host of deal or no deal does it all the time so i don't really do it ah harry how's it been going with you the past few years oh you know, same old same old ah, still datin' that one chick? asked sora yup, i sho am isn't she a little young look man, the way i see it, double the age is double the fun alright then, well, let's get a move on, because the cops are after me hold on sora let me just text my girl real quick truman whipped out his cell phone and texted his girl real quick. Sora let his curiosity get the best of him and he couldn't help but glance at what he was texting what the fuck, is that your - ? but suddenly the cops came oh shit we gotta bounce says sora and the two escape in soras brand new whip and they headed to the local world trade center oh wait nevermind instead they hit up the local arcade and played some games for awhile hey truman whattya say we play a game of ddr and whoever wins gets my copy of gran turismo 5 you're fucking on man they inserted their quarters but suddenly the cops came oh shit we gotta bounce says sora and the two escape in soras brand new whip and they headed to the local pub where they met up with rap sensation fifty cents harry s. truman tried to tackle fifty cents but it did not work at all because that rapper is very fit for his age and jumped out of the way of truman's attack and went for three swift punches to the ribcage harry why do you hate this guy so much asks sora it's a long story said truman and he goes in for the sleeper hold on fifty cents but fifty cents dodged nicely and kicked truman really hard in the shin but truman had a metal shin (long story) so fifty cents' foot was hurtin like damn you've improved, harry, says fifty cents and he disapparates (hogwarts lingo) this isn't over, fifty, says truman and he started getting all red faced and shit so explain yourself, truman, why are you feuding with fifty cents well, the truth is, sora.... .... i am a police officer and i am here to arrest you son of a - ! you're coming with me buster he says and he handcuffs sora hey, what's the big idea~! roars sora it's strictly business, sora, he says to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000C] chapter three: heated debates theme song: YouTube - Mario Party 2 Song: Going somewhere? sora woke up at the end of a really big table and he was surrounded by the top brass what is this place wonders sora welcome to the round table, sora, said the masked warlord at the other end of the table. this is where we discuss some of the most top secret government issues. you should consider it a privilege to be here, sora. show yourself buddy commands sora you don't have a geass, sora your commands are harmless to me scoffed the main villain i don't think it's fair that i have to sit at this table and not know who you guys are very well then, says the masked warlord, i think i'll go ahead and introduce you to the top brass here there are 7 folks in the top brass, and they are: harry s. truman edward elric zidane tribal knuckles the echidna wario the middle east and of course.. me, but you can just call me the masked warlord well shucks it's nice to meet yall says sora and he shakes hands with his mortal enemies he sits back down and asks the man at the other side of table “so... why did you bring me here?” asked sora pause brb gotta piss take your time says the reader unpause “sora, we brought you here because we need to kill you, now don't get mad, man. This is just business,” said the masked warlord fuck business i do thangs my own way replies sora and pops edward elric in his mouf followed by a really good kick to his automail and now edward lost his metal arm and leg sora picked up ed's metal arm and threw it at harry s. truman to cause a distraction and tries to get out of the grip of the villains and as he ran out he picked up edward elric's metal leg and used it as a sword of sorts to deflect his pursuers zidane went into trance mode and went after sora but ed's metal leg helped deflect most of his attacks man whoever your automail mechanic is, he's really good, says sora to ed-kun thank you sora i appreciate your compliments said a half dead edward elric thanks to sora's powerful speed and quick power he was able to escape from the round table he headed to the local countryside town of kyoto japan to regroup meanwhile the top brass was not happy with sora's escape so they spent the next few weeks planning attempts to kidnap sora and bring him back to the round table so that they could kill him attempt one: zidane sets mouse traps around soras house but since sora no longer lives at home they never caught sora but instead accidentally killed soras entire family shucks said sora's family attempt two: the middle east crashed two planes into these two really tall towers because they figured hey if we do that maybe sora will be in there and he might die i mean yeah it's a long shot but we might as well go for it sora was inside one of the towers but he eventually recovered a couple days later because his wounds weren't too deep only a couple first degree burns on his body but whateva attempt three: knuckles was driving around in his new 2009 convertible and he ran into sora walking on the sidewalk “hey buddy i got some chips in the back trunk if you want some you should hang with me for a few hours,” says knuckles to sora “chips, eh?” sora says and joins the ride sora gets inside the car and realizes that there are no chips in the back trunk instead there is just a bunch of master emerald pieces these chips taste like shit said sora and he jumps out the passenger's window and rolls down the highway he hits a few cars along the way but nothing too serious attempt four: edward elric turned the universe into a transmutation circle and blew it up unfortunately for edward a couple of stray dogs peed on some of the circle, thus making a lot of it fade away so nothing really happened except a bunch of fireworks (ironically on the 4th of july) attempt five: harry s. truman heard that sora was lurking around in hiroshima so he decided to drop the atomic bomb there in hopes that it would hurt sora turns out sora left that very same day on course for nagasaki harry s. truman drops another bomb on nagasaki 3 days later but sora hadn't reached nagasaki yet because i mean well he's not very fast attempt six: wario pretended to be sora and walked to the round table and got shot by the top brass wario didn't really think that one through did he no i did not said wario from beyond the grave attempt seven: the masked warlord went for a leg sweep on sora when he wasn't looking and sora fell into a pool of mud and was unable to get up fast enough to run away so he got taken in by the masked warlord sora was taken to the round table and was shot by each member of the top brass (except for wario since he is now dead) sora died in a pool of his own blood (and a little bit of wario's blood too since he died in the same spot wario died) however.... there's something i never told you folks and that is that sora has a twin brother named jerry and he was the one who was killed not sora when the top brass found out about the mishap they were a little upset but not too upset to the point where they gave they just decided they would need to develop a flawless strategy to capture sora but where was sora? i'm right here said sora to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000D] chapter four: hungry hungry shippos theme song: YouTube - Simple Minds - Don't You (forget about me) i'm right here said sora i'm just working on a fun little birdhouse for the birdies to rest at while they're flying by but where is this place this is kinda near memphis, tennessee, but more towards orlando, florida ah sora was having a pretty happy life where he was making birdhouses and he never thought he'd be happier than this ever again but something happened that made him even happier he got a letter from his family~! dear sora: we have died and you're not inheriting anything we're giving it all to charity love, the 'rents so i take that back sora did not really get happier it actually made him sadder but on the plus side baseball season was starting soon so he figured he might as well go ahead and try out for the st. louis cardinals hmm maybe i should warm up first before i hit up tryouts he thinks to hisself he goes to the local batting cages and he has a pretty strong batting stance i reckon he can hit the ball about 350 feet most of the time eh, this sport isn't very fun, said sora after a few minutes and decided to not try out for the cardinals after all instead he goes inside and watched reruns of everybody loves raymond i don't like this show said sora, it's like the last episode of death note – just a bunch of yelling i don't really like it plus that wife is kind of a bitch she kinda reminds me of kairi where the fuck is kairi wondered sora look behind you said a mysterious voice sora looked behind him and it was not kairi but instead it was kairi kairi what are you doing here i've been looking for you for the longest time she says and she gets really close to sora i missed you, sora.... she got in real close and tried to kiss him but sora smelled her breath and it was not very refreshing so he made up some excuse and got the hell out of there goddammit said sora to himself, just because a woman is nearing her 60s doesn't mean she has to stop taking care of herself goddamn it's disgusting that night he slept in a dark alleyway, that way he would be safe from his pursuers ow my back he says three days later sora was kind of horny so he figured he'd give kairi another shot so he went there and she was found dead in a pool of her own blood heh, said a mysterious voice and this voice was none other than kairi's dead body voice from beyond the grave i hope you're happy, sora, said dead kairi kairi, what happened to - ! after you turned me down last night i lost the will to live and i killed myself well just hold on perhaps i can inform the paramedics it's not too late no, sora, you don't understand what don't i understand you're not making any sense kairi i am afraid it is you who doesn't understand sora what no it's you who doesn't sora you're really cooking my grits would you please listen no, and he left the room but like 30 seconds later he was done fuming and he went back inside and heard kairi out what is it girl i am dead forever sora, said kairi, i am just waiting for the summoner to get here so she can send me to the farplane fuck that you're coming with me and sora carried dead kairi on his back where do you wanna go first dead kairi, asked sora i haven't really been to six flags lately so why don't we hit that up first sure thing you know i've been really wanting to try that new rollercoast - ! ow my back nevermind i'm not really feeling six flags and shit it's hard carrying you sora set dead kairi down and left for a couple days when he returned she was all grimy looking and covered in bugs and stuff eh, nevermind then, sora said and left again sora come back here you vagabond! roared dead kairi maybe tomorrow if you shower or something because right now you stank ugh fuck you sora i hate you~! sora did not let those words get to him instead he listened to some really loud rap for the next couple days to let his problems melt away but it actually just made him feel worse because it reminded him of how he wanted to be a rap artist one day and he never ended up becoming one so he's just kinda depressed now he started taking pictures of himself and posting them on internet forums in hopes of boosting his self-esteem but no one commented on any of them so he asked a mod to delete his posts and told them to forget about him and then he made some kind of topic about how he's going to leave the forum because of family problems but deep down he knows he's leaving because no one commented on his pictures three days later he made a second account and posted pictures of himself again except he used photoshop to make him look younger and more agile but still nobody really commented on them except this one user by the name of “sarge” commented “stupid ugly faggot” and sora got even more depressed and he made another “i'm leaving” thread with his second account sora spent the next seven or eight days walking down the street kicking rocks while looking at the ground man, being old farts i wish i could be youthful again i wish i had wings so i could fly so high i wish i had real friends and not friends who always betray me and at that thought he was suddenly reminded of dead kairi back at the six flags parking lot and he had an epiphany where he was like “hey! kairi's my friend! she's cool! i'm gonna go help her bitch ass! hip hip, hooray!” he starts walking across this one football field in hopes of finding dead kairi and as he crossed this football field he raises his fist really high in the air and he's a lot happier now as a result he and dead kairi are currently returning to six flags just like they promised don't you~ forget about me~ said ****** in the background to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000E] chapter five: the last chapter theme song: YouTube - Persona 4 - Pursuing My True Self (Opening) eh you know what i changed my mind my back kinda hurts and i'm really tired you know what let's go ahead and not go to six flags says sora he sets dead kairi down and rests for a couple days alright fine i'll go to six flags says sora get up dead kairi come on let's go he picks up kairi and tries to walk towards six flags but about halfway there he gets kinda hungry and starts muchin' on some chips hey dead kairi you can just go ahead and go to six flags by yourself i'm just gonna rest for a sec sora rested for a little bit and then started playing some nintendo ds he was playing phoenix wright i think but he got stuck on one of the cases so he stopped playing ehhhhh he didn't have anywhere to sleep again... man sure is boring in this town i wanna go to six flags but it's closed.... ehhhhh i wonder where dead kairi is sora looked over and saw dead kairi playing phoenix wright and doing better at that game than sora ever could in his entire life ehhhhh i wish i was good at stuff thinks sora so the next few days sora decides to start practicing at stuff so he can get good at stuff attempt one: volleyball sora tried bumping the volleyball but some punk ass kids from the ghetto put a bunch of 20 pound weights inside the volleyball so when sora tried to bump it he hurt his wrists really bad combine this wrist pain with his back pain and he was comatose for like a week attempt two: book reading alright first book to read today this looks like a good read – the scarlet letter three weeks later what the hell is this i don't get this archaic writing at all and what the poop is up with that pearl child those kind of people don't exist why is nathaniel hawthorne trying to combine literature and anime fuck this i hate reading attempt three: beat kingdom hearts 2 in under 4 hours i do not like this game very much i am barely even trying and pressing the x button gets really old after awhile ow my back attempt four: bowling sora bowled a 299 and the guy next to him bowled a perfect 300 so it made sora feel even more depressed attempt five: learn spanish dudo que mis amigos sean mis amigos says sora nah that doesn't sound right ehhhh fuck it attempt six: running sora ran the mile in like 20 minutes and he felt really willy woozy afterwards and started throwing up he started running another mile because he saw a pretty good looking girl and wanted to impress her but that backfired because he's not very fast attempt seven: do one of those contests they have at restaurants where if you eat the burger in the allotted time period your meal is on the house sora tried this and allow me to inform you of the results about halfway through the burger let me tell you what happened halfway through the burger sora got kinda thirsty but the restaurant sold only pepsi products and sora only likes coca~cola so he goes to the local gas station and purchases a bottle of coca~cola he got eliminated because he left the restaurant and he had to pay for the meal only problem is he didn't have enough money to pay for the meal “hey get back here you charlatan you i need you to pay for your meal” says the liberal owner of the restaurant, leon “i most certainly will not” replies sora meanly and he tries to escape the restaurant but the entire restaurant was surrounded by police cars and helicopters “sora you are surrounded and you cannot escape our grip” ^that was what one of the police officers said jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a police officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene fuck i forgot the quarter says sora so he goes back and tries to grab it and he is caught by one of the police officers you're coming with us says the officer jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene fuck i forgot the quarter says sora so he goes back and tries to grab it and he is caught by one of the police officers you're coming with us says the officer jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a police officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene fuck i forgot the quarter says sora so he goes back and tries to grab it and he is caught by one of the police officers you're coming with us says the officer jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a police officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene fuck i forgot the quarter says sora so he goes back and tries to grab it and he is caught by one of the police officers you're coming with us says the officer jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a police officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene fuck i forgot the quarter says sora so he goes back and tries to grab it and he is caught by one of the police officers you're coming with us says the officer jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a police officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene fuck i forgot the quarter says sora so he goes back and tries to grab it and he is caught by one of the police officers you're coming with us says the officer jeez i never thought i'd have to resort to this says sora to his conscience do it you stupid fuck said jiminy cricket alright then says sora he throws a quarter really hard at a police officer's face and his face got fucked up bloody so the cops were forced to call the paramedics and in that instant sora was able to flee the scene at this point in time everyone in the parking lot was roughed the shit up so sora was able to claim his quarter and escape without any trouble i need to go somewhere safe says sora and he heads to an old friend's house to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000F] chapter six: reunion theme song: YouTube - Metal Gear Solid Encounter Theme sora went ahead and went to his buddy's house this buddy was none other than his old pal from college, psycho mantis what's up mantis asks sora not much just got done trying to fix my stereo here let me check it out real quick says sora as he kicks it really hard and breaks three toes in the process i need a doctor yells sora don't worry says psycho mantis i am a great doctor psycho mantis repaired his foot with great dignity and sora was grateful as fuck man psycho mantis i am delighted how can i ever make this up to you oh don't worry i'll think of something psycho mantis winks at sora however, little did sora know that he was in a load of trouble...... three days later... ring ring ring! ring ring ring! phone call! phone call! sora picks up the telephone hello who is this hey sora it's me psycho mantis i was just wondering if you wanted to play football later yeah sure i'm down who's all playing? well so far just me and you alright sounds good i'll meet you at the park sora goes to the park and psycho mantis was the only one there sorry sora, says psycho mantis, but no one else could come so it looks like me and you are hanging for the rest of the night ehhh, you know what, on second thought, i'm gonna bounce, buddy, see ya sora tries to walk off but psycho mantis stops him come on sora let's go to the arcade or something nah, i think i'm just gonna go play some games at my house can i just spend the night then asks psycho mantis i really doubt it my parents will flip if i let you come over dude just let me come over for like 2 hours ehhh, i changed my mind, i just realized i got some errands to run says sora and he tries to walk off again hey man that's cool i got time to kill i'll go with ya says mantis and he follows sora sora then tells him to fuck off but mantis just laughed about it and said “good joke, bruddah” and kept on following sora sora was forced to spend the entire day with mantis because he refused to back off and let me tell you boys it was brutal and you know what the worst part was? here let me tell you what the worst part was real quick: sora saw this real snazzy lookin' broad and he was feeling cocky haha yeah “real cocky” and he decided to try to ask her out on a date but mantis kept cockblocking because when sora tried to feel up on this girl's breasts, psycho mantis kept dead legging her you're such brats, roars the woman angrily and she storms out of sight sora didn't even end up getting home until approximately 4 in the morning and his sleep was cut short when psycho mantis called him up two hours later and asked if sora wanted to go to the store and help him buy a paintball gun please sora, i really need your help! pleads psycho mantis hey mantis i'm sorry i really can't help you out i've got a family reunion today aww shucks he says and hangs up but 2 hours later mantis shows up on sora's doorstep hey sora i was thinking and i hear family reunions are a real [BEEP] and i just want to come with you, so you got someone to talk to sora was beyond flabbergasted, jeez well, says sora, it's the damndest thing, you see, my family is busy with something else so the family reunion isn't tonight instead i already promised another buddy that i'd help him with his spanish homework oh that's cool i got a b- in spanish so i can help out too let me go with you says mantis and he follows sora around so where does this buddy of yours live, asked mantis you know what, nevermind, i'm not feeling too well, i'm just gonna go home and rest, says sora and he tries to head home don't worry man i carry pepto bismol on me all the time here take some of this you'll be fine in no time thanks mantis but i just got a phone call from my friend he says he no longer needs help with his spanish so i'm gonna go ahead and head on home nah man let's go to the gym and run some laps nah my feet hurt dude just run like 2 miles you'll be fine no mantis i do not want to run i think i'm just going to go get some rest alright fine i guess i'll come with you then so that i can play your ps3 while you're sleeping i only have a ps2 you don't have a ps3 yet why nt? nah i don't have a sufficent amount of cash yet to purchase it ah shit that blows man yeah i'm sorry mantis but there's nothing fun to do at my house you'll just get bored while i am resting no that's fine with me i carry a nintendo ds on me at all times i'll just play that and watch television while you're resting that way when you wake up we can play football or something i don't have cable man well that's alright i'll just play my ds so the two went back to sora's house on the plus side sora was able to sleep and catch up on his z's on the negative side psycho mantis was touching all of the shit in sora's house and messing with everything sora was beyond pissed when he woke up what the fuck mantis you've ruined my house now i have to clean all this up don't worry about it tonight just come spend the night at my house no i have to clean this mess up no man just spend the night for like 3 days i would love to spend the night but i just realized that i have to go to work tomorrow don't worry about it man i can just give you a ride to work in the morning ugh, whateva they went to mantis's house and the sleepover sucked sora just wanted to sleep and relax but mantis was all up in his business and he wouldn't stop bugging sora let me give you a rundown of the sleepover: 8 pm – 10 pm the two had to hang out in mantis's basement but mantis didn't have anything in his basement except a really small television and an xbox 360 unfortunately mantis only had one controller so sora was forced to watch him play call of duty 3 for two hours mantis let me play says sora hold on let me finish this mission in retaliation when sora had to use the bathroom he was so angry he peed all over mantis's coffee table 10 pm – 1 am mantis i'm kinda hungry do you have any food asks sora yeah sure i got your back man hold on a minute 2 hours later mantis returns with a plate of ribs and eats them in front of sora hey mantis do you mind sharing some of that with me sora i'm sorry but my dad made ribs and they're really spicy and you said you weren't feeling well so i'm afraid you cannot have any of this or else you will hurt yourself if you do mantis give me some fucking food i am starving nah 1 am – 4 am alright mantis well i am going to try to get some sleep i need to wake up early for work you know no don't go to bed yet sora dawson's creek is on and i want you to start watching this show with me so that we can talk about it nah i don't like those kinds of shows dude just watch it it's really good sora watched some of it and he admittedly kind of liked it but he would never admit it in his entire life so he just pretended like it was stupid this show is stupid says sora you're stupid says mantis say that to my face ****** lips mantis approached sora and tackled him sora retaliated by hitting mantis with his fist sora used this fight to his advantage and said, “look mantis, i don't think we can be friends anymore if we're gonna fight like this i am leaving” no, no, no, just stay, we'll work this out, friend, says mantis and insists that sora remains seated 4 am – 7 am man this sleepover has sure been fun i've never pulled an all nighter before says mantis eh, it was ok i'm kinda sleepy though do you mind if i get some rest no don't rest yet buddy i want to do some prank phone calls and i want you to participate no man i am not doing that that is illegal in my country come on man, just do it once fine, but then i am getting some sleep first, they prank called a fellow neighbor “Hello, who is this?” Asks the neighbor. “Is your refrigerator running?” Mantis asks. “Yes.” “Well, don't go catching it just yet, because I want to ask you a very important question.” the neighbor hangs up before mantis can finish alright sora, your turn sora prank calls 911 and says that there is a dying baby in his home and he gave the police mantis's address the police showed up and found out that sora was lying young man why did you prank call us asks the police officer because i'm a baller, a rebel, and a smartass alright you're coming with us says the police and they take sora downtown wait, sora! yells mantis, wait! thank god, says sora to himself, anything to get away from that psycho mantis... the police officer turned around and revealed his face it is i to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000G] chapter seven: the prince's tail theme song: YouTube - Kingdom Hearts II Music - Organization XIII's Theme the police officer turned around and revealed his face it is i ****** sora couldn't help but grin heh, a black man as a police officer, eh? talk about irony... heh, you've still got the same smartass mouth, sora, says ****** er, do i know you? you don't remember me, eh? 'fraid not well darn it why not? dunno the police car drove off into the distance awooo said the environment wait a second, says sora, this isn't the way to the police station just where are we going hold on to your seat, sora, we're going downtown they drove off a huge ass cliff and landed in a pond a pond of blood, heh heh whoa where is this place, wonders sora ****** replies by saying this: sora this is a pond of blood oh yeah, this pond consists of all the blood of the people i have killed and you're next, ****** says sora got in the defensive stance ****** approaches sora and he's really fast!, so sora tried to evade ******'s punch but he couldn't, so sora took a clean punch to the jaw! ow my jaw sora kept trying to attack ****** with several punches and kicks but ****** was able to evade every attack thrown at him (i thought he was on life support asks the reader) (nigga you underestimate me says steve, i got it under control partner) ****** just kept teasing sora during this fight and continuously headbutted sora in the teeth for like two hours after twenty-six hours of intense fighting sora was lying in a pool of blood (ahaha) ****** approaches sora violently but with a good heart prepare to die, sora sora closed his eyes and began praying to jesus christ his lord and savior please god help me god i love you man please don't kill me i'll think about it replies the man upstairs ****** took a knife and put it really close to sora's throat any last words, sora yes, and here they come: and instead of saying something sora spits in ******'s face but there was some blood in sora's spit and some of this spit got in ******'s eye so his eye morphed into some sort of weird duel monster and his eye exploded how's that for a last word, asks sora pretty good, now watch out buddy here i come! ****** went in for the stab and only pretended that he was going to stab sora by making weird stab noises haha, says ******, man you should have seen your face you were like whoa! sora was dumbstruck like fuck dude i'm just messing with you man, says ******, this is what friends do, you dig? we're... friends? you don't remember? well you see, ******, explains sora, i don't remember anything before the age of 20 ****** was listening intently (he kinda got a boner too) when i was 20 years old, says sora, i was hit my a train, and my brain was reversed so that i forgot everything ****** walked really close to sora and hugged him tears were streaming down his eyes i'm really willy sorry, sora, says ******, it must have been really tough losing your memory like that d'aww it's not so bad, says sora, it's been pretty chill up in this joint i just wish there was a way to make you feel better, sora ****** leans in for a kiss on the cheek sora kinda liked it ****** leans in for a kiss on the lips sora really liked it listen sora, says ******, i could really use your help what's up, buddy lately i've been trying to destroy this weird organization known as the top brass you've met the top brass too!? indeed i have, says ******, and they're very bad people, they're very corrupt, and they are trying to control everything from behind the scenes they've been going after me, too, but i don't know too much about them, do you mind filling me in, ****** i'd be happy too, says ****** you see, the top brass came to power a couple decades ago following the incident known as the “crazy coup” crazy... coup? yes, sora, the “crazy coup”, an incident where all of the world leaders were assassinated in a mass plot devised by the top brass the top brass then proceeded to create a worldwide puppet government using members of their organization what exactly are they after, asks sora ****** took a deep breath [inhale] uhhhhhhh [exhale] ... kingdom hearts kingdom.. hearts? what exactly is that.. ? i really do not know either, but they say that if someone has control of it, they can control the hearts of everything in the entire universe whoa... imagine if we had that power, ******... man that would be janky as fuuuuck, says ****** we should totally find kingdom hearts before those top brass ankle fuckers yeah let's make an organization designed to battle these top brass fellas, agrees ****** so over the next couple days sora and ****** start planning their new organization this new organization is crazy good man i think we will do wonders together, says sora and he and ****** do this really tight handshake that not even rap sensation BIGGIE could perfect what should we call this organization, asks sora well, before we name it, how about i introduce you to some buddies of mine that have agreed to join us in our crusade against evil [suspense music goes here] [what kind of suspense music] [doesn't really matter how about some metallica] [alright sounds good] sora, i would like to you meet... my boys from the invisionfree boards to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000H] chapter eight: the birth of warriors theme song: YouTube - Final Fantasy Tactics - Commander In Training what up boys says sora and he does some wicked nasty handshakes with the boys from the invisionfree boards haha not much sora it's good to be working alongside you bud sora, says ******, these guys have been my best comrades for several years, and they wish to assist us in our battle against evil sounds good brothaman first order of business, says ******, i have created a tier list of all the members of the invisionfree boards and you, sora tier list for the organization top tier ****** sora lord voldemort high tier captain falcon james monroe crunk juice the golf team agrabah mid tier boss dawgy baus daogy boss doggy bayous dyowgy boss dowgy low tier mike tyson michael vick roxas the rock bottom tier world war ii texans yes, i'd say this tier list is pretty accurate says texans i like it a lot~! good, good, says ******, now here's what we need to do next – we need to come up with a really good gang name for us and we need to make sure it is good or else we will never get laid ever again yeah man we need a good name i'm horny as fuck says lord voldemort here, hold on, i'll post a thread on our forum and compile a poll of the most popular names and we will vote on the best one from there, says sora so sora made the thread and it was as follows thread title: new name biotches! op: soradabomb12 post 1 soradabomb 12: ok fuckheads vote vote vote these are the poll options:
post 2 an uppity ******: dude my suggestion isn't up here post 3 soradabomb12: probably because it sucked dick 25252525252525252525 post 4 i eat mudbloods: what the shit none of our suggestions are up here post 5 an uppity ******: sora did you just post all your suggestions and none of ours? post 6 an uppity ******: sorry for the double post stupid server post 7 an uppity ******: fuck this server........................................................ post 8 dog lover psyche: yo man i suggested “hot dog eaters” why the fuck ain't dat on da poll post 9 captain orlando falcon: falcon kick post 10 my state used to be a country: ^can someone delete that spam post post 11 i eat mudbloods: you know that post of yours is also spam post 12 my state used to be a country: yeah well so is that one post 13 an uppity ******: guys stay on topic. anyway, sora if we're gonna pick a gang name we need everyone's cooperation post 14 soradabomb12: no these suggestions are great i'm keeping mine up there post 15 agrabah (it's a city in kenya): sora quit being a faggot and let's all pick a name together post 16 mediocre president at best: where are my suggestions post 17 soradabomb12: i didn't put your suggestions up because they all sucked dick so fuck off or i'm going to close this thread post 18 roxasdabomb12: you can't close your own threads i think you have to be a premium member (or is it platinum? bah, i forget) post 19 crunk juice: how come no one signed up with their real name this is confusing i just used my name for my username post 20 the rock: namefags represent post 21 best_war_ever21: lol namefags post 22 cut the fucking spamming: knock it off guys we need to come up with a name fast post 23 i bit a lady's ear off: these suggestions suck (25 character rule sucks i might leave the forum if you don't take it away admins) post 24 soradabomb12: if you guys don't calm down i'm going to name the gang myself post 25 i eat mudbloods: i don't want my fucking gang to be named after these bullshit names (although i do kind of like “aryans in disguise”) post 26 an uppity ******: well shucks do you want to go with that then post 27 soradabomb12: nah i changed my mind i don't really like any of these names post 28 dog lover psyche: well 'den what da fuk we gon' name our gang post 29 soradabomb12: why don't we just let a third party name our gang, that way no can argue about it post 30 an uppity ******: alright i guess we can do that post 31 i eat mudbloods: ugh, fine post 32 roxasdabomb12: FUCK YOU SORA edit: oh, you guys settled everything. my bad XD so the gang met up at the local hangout the next day (back parking lot of an old abandoned church) alright so who's the third party guy asks sora let's just pick out someone on the streets so the entire gang walked up a 14 year old carrying his child and asked the child what their gang name should be you should name it “heroes of islam” says the baby fuck no, says voldemort why not asks roxas that name is retarded and it is a disgrace to my religion what is your religion, voldemort asks roxas my religion is the same as yours he replies oh alright my bad then and they dropped the subject alright so i guess we need to find another third party guy, goddammit, says sora so the gang walks up to the local grocer and picked out the milfiest lookin' lass they could find and voldemort tried to hit on it but she was not returning his advances instead she was taking a keen interest in agrabah i don't date dudes, says agrabah when the lady tried to ask him out hey lady, says sora, we need a really cool gang name, do you mind giving us some ideas well, says the lady, i'm not very creative, XD shut the fuck up and drop the first name that comes to mind, commands ****** she obeyed ****** easily and replied with “heroes of islam” nah, thanks though, replies sora and they try to find another third party man who woulda thought finding a cool gang name would be this tough, wonders sora's brainwaves later they run into a violent kkk rally hello buddies, says ******, me and my homeboys were considering making a really tight gang and i was wondering if you could come up with a really tight name for our gang hmm, says the kkk rally, why don't you try naming it “heroes of islam” goddammit says lord voldemort, some bucko already suggested that, and that name sucks well piss off then, mates, says the kkk i've got a name idea, mate, says ron weasley what is it, man dunno yet, mate says ron weasley i gotta think of one, mate says ron weasley nevermind, mate says ron weasley i'm out of ideas, mate says ron weasley fuck you bloke says everyone the gang spent like nine days trying to devise a really good name for their organization but no one gave them any good ideas in fact, everybody in the whole wide world kept suggesting “heroes of islam”, which made sora wonder what was going on so he hit up that google thing on the internet turns out everyone the gang asked was actually a part of a worldwide conspiracy devised by the top brass where if anyone was asked about gang names, they would be forced to reply with “heroes of islam” well phooey, says ******, how are we going to come up with a good name i've got an idea says a mysterious voice who goes there says the gang it's just me, says the reader, and i've got a wicked name idea. i've just been too nervous to say it out loud lately because i figured you guys would make fun of me for saying it but now that i think about it this name is really snazzy well, what is it, asks sora i will say it on one condition, says the reader, i will tell you this name as long as you double triple super promise me to name your gang this name of mine ugh, fine, says sora, what is it from now on, you guys shall be known as.... the warriors of light to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000I] chapter nine: first mission theme song: YouTube - Final Fantasy VII Music - ~Opening Theme~ Bombing Mission now that warriors of light have become a really fresh and exciting gang, it was time for them to get ready for some crazy antics first, they did some virtual missions in order to buff up and get big so that they would be really strong in case some tough guys tried to get in their way after a couple weeks of training, they began planning for their first mission alright folks, says ******, for our first order of business, we are going to infiltrate one of the top brass's secret bases – the twin towers i thought those blew up a couple septembers ago wonders sora quite the contrary, says ******, i did some snooping around and found out that they really just put a fidelius charm on the twin towers well if they use a fidelius charm aren't you only able to access the twin towers if the secret keeper chooses to reveal it (for more info on secret keepers and fidelius charms, visit this site: Spells in Harry Potter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) well yes, which is why we have kidnapped one of their secret keepers, says ****** and just who is this secret keeper, asks sora hello sora, says the secret keeper, and he shows his face toward sora [gasp!] it's been a long time, says says says harry s. truman heh, says sora, finally i can get revenge for all the shit you put me through a while back, and sora pulls out a grenade and shoves it up truman's nose whoa, sora, hold up! hold up! yells ******, we can't kill him off just yet, because we need his info in order to infiltrate one of dey bases oh shit, my bad ******, says sora, but it was too late, the grenade exploded and harry s. truman was blown into pieces goddammit, says sora, i accidentally murdered him hold up, i got an idea, says ****** he grabs all of the pieces of harry s. truman and tries to put him back together with duct tape it took him like 2 and a half hours alright, almost done, but i still need to connect his arms but i'm all out of duct tape! don't fret, don't fret, says agrabah, i carry a stapler on me at all times he tries to staple harry s. truman's arms together but he only had one staple inside of the stapler and he was feeling kinda cocky when he was stapling truman's arm so his cockiness kinda made him accidentally staple harry s. truman's pants to the ground and now they were unable to move truman this kinda hurts says truman shut up truman, says sora, and he kicks him really hard with a punch to the face, causing all of ******'s hard work to be for naught because truman went back into a bunch of little pieces (but on second thought, ****** didn't even do that good of a job with the tape anyway because the tape wasn't very sticky because he spilled in some of his milk during breakfast) well fuck this, says sora, how are we going to get into the twin towers now this is your fault, sora! yells lord voldemort, you're the one who did this! now all of our planning will have been for nothing! you're right, says sora to his feelings. i'm hopeless. i am a useless human... sometimes i wish i could forget to wake up some mornings and just leave..... i'm sorry.... says sora you're damn right you're sorry! snaps lord voldemort, you have ruined our plans for good! you're a pathetic whelp of a person you insolent pile of a fucksickles i said i was sorry, gosh! cries sora and tears start streaming down his face like the gigantic vagina that he is now, now, says ******, let's just calm down. no need to blame sora here, i'm sure we can find a way out of dis business just don't let sora handle any of the big jobs, heh heh, mocks voldemort i said i was sorry! yells sora and he runs off into the distance, kicking rocks, looking down at the ground like a girl even though sora was really sad he was also kinda horny so he started masturbating in an old abandoned alleyway. the only problem is that the only girl that kind of turns him on nowadays is that black dude from final fantasy vii but he forgot what he looked like and didn't have any pictures of him or anything so it was kind of tough masturbating to someone you only 'kind of' know what they look like he still enjoyed it thoroughly though~ however, it took awhile for sora to climax because he was really tired too, so he had a lot of free time to think while he was masturbating, and he started thinking about what he should for the warriors of light [the following is what's going on in sora's mind] man i'm useless yeah you are fuck off man i just did what i thought was best you really let your emotions get the best of you, sora why don't you buzz off fuckwipe heh, heh, sora, you are nothing i know you are but what am i shut up sora you just refuse to face the facts – that you can't do anything right i know.... you will never be successful i know... look at you, man, you are 56 years of age, and you haven't even done anything useful with your life yet. i doubt you've even had sex before. i know... you will die a lonely, useless, cretin i said... i know! snaps sora and he headbutts his feelings i don't care what you say, i am going to become the best damn warrior of light in existence! fuck this, i'm going to find a way to bust in them twin towers myself! but not right now because i'm sleepy and then sora took a nice quick nap the next day sora headed to ground zero and asked one of the nearby pedestrians if they knew how to get into the twin towers what are you talking about gruff dick the twin towers have been nonexistent forever man XD ugh, replies sora sora then wondered if he did the opposite of what happened on 9/11, then perhaps he would be able to bring back the twin towers so here's what he does instead of flying a plane into the twin towers he decides to fly a plane away from the twin towers but he isn't very experienced with plane maneuvering so he accidentally crashed the plane into a nearby pedestrian luckily sora was wearing a hood so none of the cops could see his face sora was then reminded of how smart he was (he had a 4.0 in school), and he figured that because he was so smart his brain would emit smart waves into the air and attach themselves to the earth and create anything that sora imagined he did this and it worked suddenly the twin towers returned to full being hey i should do this more ofte- a gigantic praying mantis hits sora really hard in the head, causing sora's brain to split into two turns out he wasn't so smart anymore he became really stupid oh well at least we can still hit up the twin towers he enters the twin towers and calls up his fellow warriors of light sora? asks ******, where have you been lately? ******, meet me at ground zero... sora what are you talking about just listen to me, ******, i have found a way into the towers oh you have now, eh? i have indeed, says sora.... ... and it's time to get down to business ****** and voldemort showed up a couple minutes later sup sora we only need three people for this job, in the meantime the others are going to decorate our secret base and work on our forum, says ****** alright then, says sora, so what's the plan, and also, voldemort, i want an apology for all the harsh and nasty things you said about me i'll say sorry when you prove to me you are a true baller, says voldemort eh, fuck yo' money man anyway, says ******, here's the plan, we are going to take the elevator up to the top floor, and we are gonna burn this bitch to the ground and kill every single top brass soldier in dis bitch you're a bold kid, ******, says sora but first we should try getting past the security guards, warns voldemort don't worry about it, i can distract them, says ******, you guys just follow me ****** walked past the security guards while flauntin' dat ass and the security guards were starin' at it (the left guard even started masturbating to it kinda but he couldn't climax so he decided to fuck it and played some nintendo gamecube) next, the boys hit up the elevator and rode it to the top floor, but they were confronted by one of the seven top members of the top brass – the middle east shello! says middle east, and he shoots voldemort 26 times in the face with a sniper rifle don't worry folks, i am quite alright, says voldemort, good thing this face is made of rubber and is able to deflect anything well shucks, says middle east, and he throws his sniple rifle at voldemort's teeth and he started bleeding a bit but he was fine because he has no feelings he is a dark and treacherous soul the middle east then took advantage of this situation and bum rushed ******, but since ****** is really fast he was able to evade the attack and bite the middle east really hard on his nose, causing him to have a really bad nosebleed heh, you guys are good, says middle east, no wonder truman and wario have already fallen... but don't worry, i don't plan on dying so easily you see, folks, says the middle east, you fools fell into my trap what the fuck are you talking about says sora what in blue blazes are you talking about says voldemort what in blazblue are you talking about says ****** i intentionally made sure that harry s. truman would be kidnapped by you guys, so that he would lead you guys to the top of this tower fuck! haha, yeah, i intentionally led you guys to the top of this tower so that i could blow it up myself, and kill all of you in the process! you mean, you don't care about killing so many of your own men, asks sora nigga i don't gib a fuk, replies middle east, those fools are all expendable souls. i will do whatever i can in order to eliminate the warriors of light – even if that includes killing my own men good riddance, cunt guzzlers, says the middle east and he sets the twin towers on fire within seconds everything was engulfed in flames i can't fucking see worth a damn, yells sora, someone help me please sora, ******, grab onto me, says voldemort sora and ****** grab voldemort on the cock and started fondling it for like 3 minutes, and then voldemort used a really neat spell he learned in hogwarts where he could teleport anywhere at any given time sora, ******, and voldemort, ended up in a really weird looking place what is this place asks sora i think it's to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000J] chapter ten: shrooms and turtles theme song: YouTube - Persona 4 - Heartbeat, Heartbreak what is this place asks sora i think it's mushroom kingdom i don't like this place much says voldemort believe it or not i am very anti-drug i'm not i loved puffin' a crisp blunt after class when i was at college says sora [flashbacks to sora at college] man pass me that blunt sora says to his roommate, psycho mantis psycho mantis passes him the blunt and sora eats some of it suddenly sora was seeing tornados and flying walruses in his dorm ohhh man i love drugs says sora it's like nothing i've ever done before dude try this stuff out says mantis and he hands him some hard candy, this stuff will make your nostrils explode sora crushes the hard candy into a bunch of little pieces and starts snorting it suddenly sora started pretending he was a rap artist and started making really funny rap noises within like 20 minutes him and psycho mantis were totally out of their minds ahahaha oh man this is so awesome says psycho mantis we should do this shit more often let's post this on youtube says sora and he starts filming his penis for like 20 minutes make me a beat, sora says to his penis, and i'll show you my rhymes psycho mantis was in the background making a beat, but with their high tech gear they were able to make it seem like the penis was making the beat beep boop boop bop bop beep boop bop bop boop yo~ sora starts his rap my money is grillin'~ my cash is money~ yo' shit ain't dribblin'~ da cash is time~ yo psycho mantis let's rap battle sora says to his buddy a'ight says mantis, i got a fresh new rap for ya'll nigga yo' shit is grimy~ i bet yo' dick is tiny~ let me smell yo' cock bruddah~ afterwards they started tokin' up on some hookah, sora inhaled too much of it and started vomiting earlobes and he was forced to go to the hospital and he has never tried drugs ever since mantis, on the other hand, still likes to enjoy the occasional cigar with his morning beer [flashforward to now] man, those were the days... says sora alright so what should we do here, asks ******, this place is kinda weird looking i don't like it too much hiya fuckwads says a voice from behind the three warriors of light turn around and see a real chill dinosaur shootin' basketballs oh hey sup man you play basketball too, but how come you're not black sora asks the dinosaur my name is yoshi and i just practice a couple hours a day basketball is kinda my shit i bet you i can beat you says sora you're on~ says yoshi alright winner of this match gets a hand job from princess peach says yoshi i'd rather get one from voldemort, says sora and winks at him gayly, but whateva i'm down the two start playin' hoops for a couple hours and sora was getting' real sweaty and he peed his pants because he forgot to take his diabetes medicine so he was peeing quite a bit after two hours the score was 13-13, and it was sora's ball alright next point wins he tried to go for the slam dunk but yoshi slam blocked it so hard it hit sora squarely in the [img]fucking[/img] face sora then retaliated by punching yoshi really hard in the face but he just went “yahoo!”, took the ball and went in for the slam dunk and won the game good game, yoshi, says sora and they pound it yeah, it was ok i guess, says yoshi, hey listen you wanna come over to the castle later they're having a huge party and everyone's invited ehhh i dunno wonders sora there'll be a lot of pretty girls says yoshi, and i bet you i can hook you up with king boo's sister she's got some rockin' tits i think we attend this party, sora, whispers ****** from behind, that way we can try to get them to join the warriors of light eh, i dunno man, do you think the goonies around here would actually be useful for our cause asks sora shit yeah dude, butts in voldemort, you see yoshi's bball playin' man dat nigga has got class we could use some shit like that for our gang i say we hit dis partay up pawty in da house~! yells voldemort and starts sprinting towards the castle but he ate a lot of mexican food the previous day so he cramped up really bad like halfway there and he got really sick but he still hit up the party anyway wearing the coolest suit he could find the party was off the chain everybody was there and sora caught a glimpse of king boo's sister and it was none other than lyndon baines johnson sora was gettin' kinda turned on by his bitch ass so he tried feeling up lbj's pant leg a little bit hey bucko what are you doing says lbj i'm just tryin' to get in your pants mate, says sora hey man i'm a virgin i don't approve of that kinda stuff says lbj, i think you should just go home or something if you're just gonna try and hit on me the whole night but, i really like you, says sora well too bad, you're not my type sora walked outside in a depressed mood and started crying but weirdly enough sora heard some other crybabies outside along with him who goes there~? asks sora oh hey sora it's just me, replies voldemort why are you crying, asks sora because i fell on da concrete and it hurt are you alright man says sora nah, says voldemort, i think some bastard tried to slip some date rape drugs in my drank and now i'm really sleepy here let me take you upstairs and tuck you in bed, says sora t'anks sora, says voldemort, you're a good friend, and he gives sora soft kiss on the cheek d'aww says sora and he blushes so sora takes voldemort upstairs and tucks him in bed sleep tight, voldemort, says sora, and he kisses him on the forehead goodnight thank you sora .................... hey voldemort what is it sora i was the one who slipped the roofies in your drank well this is surely a twist but why would you do something lik – and then he falls asleep prepare to be violated, says sora, and he undresses voldemort once voldemort was undressed sora took it upon himself to insert his finger up voldemort's nose and go 'boop boop!' really really loud and then he started tickling voldemort quite a bit sora kept performing these silly antics until voldemort woke up like three hours later sora did you rape me says voldemort nah, the party was just kinda boring and i thought this would be more enjoyable. i'm not a fan of big groups. i like hanging out with one or two people, tops. heh, i'm kinda the same way too, says voldemort. well, i suppose what you did was alright as long as i didn't lose my virginity to a cretin like you. you're a good friend, sora. wait you haven't lost your virginity yet, asks sora 'fraid not, says voldemort, i'm just waiting for that perfect woman, you know man dude fuck that we need to find you some poon asap, sora picks up voldemort and heads back down to the dance floor after searching for a long time nobody really wanted to have sex with voldemort because he had really smelly teeth and a harsh demeanor man none of these girls like me, moans a depressed voldemort don't worry man we'll find someone says sora suddenly this girl in a ski mask approaches voldemort time to get laid, voldemort to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000K] chapter eleven: sora purchases some games theme song: YouTube - Haddaway - What is Love time to get laid, voldemort sora and voldemort turn around to see the ski masked person and voldemort uses the imperius curse to make the girl take off the ski mask it was none other than ****** being a jokester ahaha says ****** and he playfully punches voldemort on the shoulder you know like friends do man ****** leave voldemort alone, says sora, he's trying to find the perfect woman d'aww come on man voldemort's a tough guy and he's got some rugged good looks he'll find a sweetheart in no time i dunno, says voldemort, and he looks down at the ground all depressed when voldemort was looking at the ground lyndon johnson accidentally bumped into him what the bajonkers is your problem roars a violent, vicious, vehement voldemort oh, i'm sorry, says lyndon johnson, and he gets a good look at voldemort's face and starts blushing, “well... see ya around” voldemort kinda smiled, “sora, do you know that guy” aww yeah that's lyndon johnson, otherwise known as the best ass in town, says sora do you mind introducing me to that lass, asks voldemort nicely hell nah man johnson's mine, says sora, but i'll tell you what, voldemort, i'll let you have his equally hot best friend who is this best friend you speak of yo' face says sora and splashes hot coffee in voldemort's face dammit sora why you do that just business replies sora and he goes after lyndon johnson “hey lyndon,” says sora, “name's sora and i got a big cock, you wanna go back to my place and do some nasty stuff like bathe in chocolate or something” i most certainly do not, yells a mean voice from within lyndon johnson's mouth, i am not a slut and do not sell my body to vicious monsters like you you think... i'm... a... monster... ? you are despicable and i would most certainly never date you sora tried to come up with a comeback but no words could come out because deep down he was really sad as piss and he decided to take a stroll outside the castle walls i'm not a monster says sora i'm a baller and chicks dig me and he starts pretending like he's a really cool football player and tries to tackle the shit out of the first person that walked out of the castle but it turns out the first person that walked out of the castle was lyndon johnson he broke his neck badly but it was dark out so sora didn't know who he tackled so he was being really cocky haha who the hell do you think you are asks a writhing lyndon johnson i'm michael vick sora yells really loudly and starts kicking the shit out of johnson sora it's me why are you kicking me you filthy son of a bitch roars johnson oh, lyndon, i'm so sorry, i had no idea it was you you're a MONSTER please lyndon please forgive me baby i never wanted to hurt you~ i need a doctor.... murmurs a dying lyndon johnson i can help you says a voice from the shadows it was lord voldemort and he performed some really tight magic that he learned in his fourth year at hogwarts and suddenly johnson was able to move freely again man i feel as good as new! thanks voldemort you're a lifesaver d'aww it was nothing no... you really helped me back there... the two embrace each other in a really sexual hug sora could not bear to see this so he went over to the basketball court and started shooting some hoops while listening to the song 'love stinks' on his ipod i hate this feeling says sora it's like i don't want to see lyndon happy with anybody else except me... what the hell is this... am i... in love.. ? no, it's just a stupid crush... i'll get over it... it's just a crush... it's just a crush... it's just... love.... urgh~! roars sora and he throws the basketball at the hoop in a fit of rage lyndon... why... sora couldn't help but let his curiosity get the best of him and he started spying on lyndon and voldemort meanwhile, voldemort and lyndon were really hitting it off they were talking a lot and voldemort was making some really good jokes to ease the tension you're a nice guy, voldemort, says lyndon voldemort was blushing a lot too and he returned the favor by kissing lyndon on the cheek teehee~ sora's heart split in half at the sight of this (it's just a crush, sora... it's just a crush...) sora started walking off, trying to forget what he just saw, but as he turned around he caught a glimpse of voldemort and lyndon johnson walking towards the lake, holding hands sora lost it at this point and he started kicking the castle walls in a fit of rage (why does this happen to me.. how come every time i like someone they never like me and how come every time someone likes me they disgust the piss out of me..) (it's like... god's out to get me...) (oh well, maybe voldemort's better suited for lyndon than i am...) sora then decided to masturbate to lyndon johnson (well, at least i can have him this way...) but funnily enough, as he climaxed, ****** was walking out of the castle walls man, it sure is janky up on dat dance floor, says ******, i could sure use this fresh a – oh jeez i think i spilled some milk on my shirt he tries to lick it off that sure does not taste like milk that's because it's semen replies the semen well hey i'm not complaining it tastes alright i guess i think it could use some hot sauce though ****** pulls out his glock and opens his glock and pulls out another glock and opens this glock and pulls out a bottle of louisiana hot sauce and pours some of it on this white stuff this sure is revolutionary says ****** and he enjoyed it thoroughly hey ****** says sora, why aren't you in there partying it up you don't sound too happy there sora don't worry about it you sure, man? because i gotcho back wheneva i said don't worry about it want me to buy you a game at gamestop? will that make you happier? ****** then proceeds to blow on sora's belly as if he was some sort of newborn baby goochie goochie goo~ who's a good boy~ who's a good boy~ goochie goochie go- ! i said don't worry about it! roars a distraught sora and armbars ******'s face to the fucking ground sora, i... just shut up! you don't understand anything! sora runs off into the distance and starts moping man.. i wish i could feel better... but these wounds they will not heal suddenly sora got a call on his cell phone hello who is this asks sora hey sora it's me psycho mantis did you want to spend the night tonight fuck no i'm busy nah don't worry about it i can come pick you up no thanks man i'm just not feeling well don't worry i got aspirin at my house listen mantis i just really don't feel like it nah man i got a new television and it's off the - you just don't get it, do you, you insolent fuck sora.. ? the last thing i want to do is spend the night at your shitty ass house and then sora hung up the phone (...) (heh...) (at least one good thing came out of tonight...) (... whatever.) (sometimes i wish life was an anime...) (why god... why did you have to take lyndon from me... what did i do to deserve this pain..) (i need to listen to some music to ease this pain...) (....) (where the fuck is my evanescence music) (hmm...) (this'll do...) sora starts listening to some lil' jon and starts gettin' real loose with it (ehhhh) this may have made him happier if his heart was not split in half, though... (ugh... i feel so... cold...) sora.. whispers a voice from behind what is it daddy's gonna beat you, boy sora turns around and sees that it is none other than to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000L] chapter twelve: the foblet of gire theme song: YouTube - Final Fantasy VI Music - The Decisive Battle daddy's gonna beat you, boy sora turns around and sees that it is none other than a super nintendo! the super nintendo kept ejecting high quality video games at sora's face and sora's arthritis started acting up so he was unable to dodge the attack shit i'm down roars a writhing sora i see you've been introduced to my pet, says a mysterious voice from the shadows it was knuckles the echidna, one of the heads of the top brass urgh... this super nintendo is... yours... ? heh, he's one of my strongest allies, says knuckles, and it's thanks to him that i will be able to kill you now why do you want to kill me so bad asks sora why should i tell you because i asked nicely well played pencil fucker, mocks knuckles' bitch ass, and fakes like he's going to punch sora while his super nintendo continuously ejected some more video games at sora's dome let me fill you in on a fun fact, sora – of all the top brass members, i am the strongest i don't believe that i am not lying, sora, in fact, i have the top brass tier list right here: top brass tier list top tier: knuckles masked warlord high tier: middle east mid tier: zidane low tier: edward elric bottom tier: harry s. truman wario did the smashboards back room confirm this asks sora why don't you come and find out, says knuckles heh, you don't scare me, knuckles, smirks sora's cocky ass, because it just so happens that i am also top tier on the warriors of light tier list did the smashboards back room confirm that asks knuckles why don't you come and find out, says sora suddenly the two embrace each other in a kiss followed by a quick battle that resulted in knuckles getting a lot of good punches in sora would have been able to stop knuckles had it not been for his super nintendo and his snide comments in order to defeat knuckles, wonders sora, i have to destroy his super nintendo first sora was feeling kinda reckless for a bit so he went buck wild and ran towards the super nintendo and tried to stomp on it but when he was about to stomp on it he stopped feeling kinda reckless and decided not to do it this was a fatal mistake for sora because when he turned his back on the super nintendo the console whipped the av cables really hard at sora, leaving several red, white, and yellow marks across his back sora was not feeling too well he was coughing up blood (and a little bit of urine too but more on that and the trial of '05 later XD) knuckles... moans sora, don't kill me... please... i've done nothing... to deserve this... it's strictly business, sora, says knuckles, i don't want to do this, believe me, but i could sure use some bank knuckles is really close to curb stomping sora but ****** came in the knick of time and protected sora from the blow (thank god black people were blessed with great running shoes!) you made a mistake coming here tonight, knuckles, says ****** coolly n-n-******.. ? what in blazblue are you doing here? i am here to protect my ally, of course, says ******, and he walks up to knuckles and fakes like he is going to punch knuckles but instead throws an xbox 360 at the super nintendo the xbox 360 broke [img]fuck this[/img] never trust microsoft, ******, warns sora knuckles took advantage of this situation and started undressing ******. this really distracted sora because, i'm not gonna lie, ****** has a pretty nice bod and sora was staring at it, so as knuckles was doing this the super nintendo ejected a copy of kirby super star right at sora's forehead man that kirby game hurts haha yeah it weighs a “megaton” the super nintendo then followed up by continuously whipping sora, except this time instead of using the av cables he used the power cord which hurt like a b*tch as for ****** knuckles got him stuck in his shirt and he was unable to find his way out no... it looks like.. this is the end.. (if you look at the line above this one you will see the quote “no... it looks like.. this is the end..”, right? well, i forgot to say who said it but i just want to tell you that the one who said it was the main character of the kingdom hearts series, sora) sora, i'm leaving this battle in your hands, says ******, it's time to prove yourself.. as a warrior of light! ehhh i'm kinda tired i might just let them get this over with a wise decision, says knuckles, and he aims a .45 caliber pistol towards sora's left eye suddenly bowser is seen several feet in midair, and he uses his down+b attack as seen in super smash siblings (it's the attack where he jumps really hard ass-first on the ground, thus pounding the living bajonkers out of his enemy) so yes he performed this attack on knuckles and it smashed the shit out of knuckles wait nope nevermind he missed it's been a long time, sora, says bowser, nobody told me you'd be coming to mushroom kingdom, man you.. know me? asks sora you.. don't remember me? asks bowser 'fraid not, man, says sora, but i can explain why after we take care of this clown heh, sounds good man, says bowser and they do a neat-o handshake to show that they were back in business, any enemy of sora's is an enemy of mine sora threw his car keys really high in the air to cause a distraction and during the ensuing pandemonium sora was able to grab the car keys and shove them really far in knuckles' left ear afterwards, sora put some janky headphones on knuckles, connected the headphones to an ipod, and started blaring some slipknot since knuckles' left ear was already hurting bad enough from the key stab, the really loud slipknot music was adding to the pain knuckles could not bear it sora stop this man i'm sorry, i'm sorry please stop hurting me this hurts so bad i can't handle please man kuja stop doing that knuckles couldn't handle the pain much longer what the fuck this hurts really bad where is my backup?! super nintendo where are you?! cries a pissed off like all hell knuckles looks like you're buddy isn't in fighting condition anymore, says bowser, and shows him a busted the fuck up super nintendo no! super nintendo, are you alright!? cries knuckles he's not dead, no, says bowser COULD YOU REPEAT THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU says knuckles he's not dead, no, says bowser COULD YOU REPEAT THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU THIS MUSIC IS REALLY LOUD says knuckles i said HE'S NOT DEAD, NO, says bowser oh a'ight COULD YOU REPEAT THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU THIS MUSIC IS REALLY LOUD says bowser i said OH A'IGHT oh a'ight anyway, continues bowser, it's time to put an end to this, and uses the super nintendo's av cables, power cord, and controller to tie up knuckles to a tree if that wasn't enough bowser made the super nintendo face knuckles' forehead alright, says bowser, time to get some answers yeah let's do this shit says sora i don't have any answers, says knuckles bullshit, says sora, and he ejects a copy of super mario all stars right into knuckles' face dude sora don't use that game that game is rare don't worry it's not the copy that has super mario world on it oh, that's fine then i guess geez guys can you lay off a bit, says knuckles are you sure you don't have any answers, knuckles, asks sora as he teases him by faking like he's going to eject another video game into knuckles' dome alright, alright, fine i got some answers for you, says knuckles first question, asks sora, what is the top brass after first answer, answers knuckles, we are after kingdom hearts heh, just as ****** suspected, says sora ******... ? wonders bowser, hm... oh fuck, ******! sora completely forgot that ****** was stuck inside his shirt and couldn't find a way out, but never fear because sora got him out without any problems don't worry ******, says sora, we've won, we've got knuckles hostage and we're currently questioning him oh good, good, says ****** alright knuckles, says sora, second question, why are you after kingdom hearts alright sora, says knuckles, second answer, we are after kingdom hearts because the masked warlord wants to control the hearts of everyone in the entire universe and you're just blindly following his orders asks bowser we all have our reasons for joining the top brass well then, third question, asks sora, why did you join the top brass well then, third answer, answers knuckles, i joined the top brass because i side with whoever gives me the most money so you're just a pathetic dog, aren't you don't misunderstand me, sora, says knuckles, i am only siding with the top brass because i can live comfortably alongside them so you don't even give a damn what happens to the world, do you quite being naive, sora, do you honestly enjoy fighting for a lost cause. do you honestly enjoy making no money fighting for a stupid organization like the warriors of light don't insult the warriors of light! we're the heroes of the future! heh, don't give me that bullshit, says knuckles, you know you'd much rather have more than enough money to get by than spending your entire life fighting a pointless battle not everything's about money, knuckles! it's not pointless to fight for the good of the people! you're an idiot, sora. you guys aren't heroes. shut up, knuckles, you don't know anything! i actually know quite a bit, sora, i got a 34 on my ACT those tests are bogus, says sora what'd you get on your act, sora i got a 21 and i was barely trying but the test was bogus anyway it's nothing but communist propaganda alright, alright, says ******, let's get back on topic fourth question, asks ******, who is this masked warlord fourth answer, answers knuckles, i do not know who the masked warlord is bullshit, says sora, and ejects a copy of the original star fox right into knuckles' dome what the fuck man i was not lying, i've honestly never seen what the masked warlord looks like. he refuses to show his face to anyone. in fact, i hear he never even takes his mask off when he's by himself. hmmm, says sora, alright, anything else that will be of importance to us ehhh, i dunno, i barely ever pay attention at any of the meetings. i'm usually tokin' up and playin' gameboi well then we have no further use for you. thanks for providing us with absolutely nothing usefu. wait, wait! there might be... something... something that may be of use to you folks alright, then, what is it knuckles takes a deep breath and what i am about to type is what knuckles is going to say the masked warlord is afraid of sunlight alright, then, is that it, asks sora haha yeah thanks for being no help at all, man, says bowser bowser, would you like to do the honors, asks sora i would love to, says bowser, and he takes the tied up knuckles and super nintendo and throws them in a lake full of gigantic aquatic praying mantises that feed on classic game consoles and echidnas knuckles and his super nintendo were dead within minutes ... man, says sora, talk about a gruff battle haha yeah, says ******, but hey, that's three top brass folks down, four more to go hmm, says bowser to himself, say, sora, do you mind filling me in on what's been going on.. ? not a problem, says sora, and he and ****** explain everything to bowser [one explanation later] i see, says bowser sadly are you alright, bowser, asks ****** yes, yes, i am just thinking to myself this.. warriors of light gang, says bowser, would you mind if i joined your cause you want to join us, bowser, asks sora, man i would be honored to fight alongside yo' grimy ass i don't mind either, says ******, the more the merrier, i always say! well that's good, says bowser, i am honored to become a warrior of light i think we should all get some rest, says sora, we just had a long night, all of us i agree, says bowser, i have some things i would like to talk to you about tomorrow though, sora my old friend ok sounds good, because i really need to figure out what my life was like before i lost my memory, maybe it'll help us in our battle against the top brass yeah brah dizzin' ain't nuffin' they did a three way handshake and headed to their respective rooms [later that night] ****** was sitting at a desk in his room, working on some paperwork “you may have been able to fool sora, but you can't fool me”, says a voice from the shadows however, bowser's kinda big so he wasn't really entirely in the shadows and ****** was able to see who it was easily because he saw bowser's nipples heh, says ******, i was afraid you'd become a nuisance ******... what are you planning bowser, you fool, it was unwise of you to approach me like this i will not let you toy with my old friend any longer, says bowser ****** has yet to even look at bowser, and bowser tried to take advantage of the situation by trying to stab him from behind with a masamune but in one quick second ****** was able to avoid the attack and pierce bowser in the heart with a knife ****** hid the evidence early the next morning by setting bowser's remains on fire in an old abandoned alleyway [later the next day] hey ****** where's bowser asks sora i think he went bowling oh... to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000M] chapter thirteen: not doing this chapter it's unlucky theme song: YouTube - Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow - Wind Sound Effects you folks know how i roll don't read this chapter or else you'll have bad luck forever to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000N] chapter fourteen: a banker's worst nightmare theme song: YouTube - Kingdom Trial: Chrono Trigger Music two weeks had passed since bowser's death why isn't bowser back yet, ******, asks sora he might be stuck in traffic hmm [two weeks later] why isn't bowser back yet, ******, asks sora he mighta got stuck behind a train hmm [two weeks later] you don't think bowser ditched us, do you, ******, asks sora i hear he's pretty tied up at work ok, well as long as he's ok i guess that's fine meanwhile voldemort and lyndon johnson were gettin' pretty “hot and heavy” this made sora sink back into depression over the next couple weeks you know what, says sora, fuck this i'm gonna break them up myself .. good thing i'm a pro cockblock cockblock attempt uno: the next day when voldemort and johnson were holding hands walking around the lake, sora walked up to voldemort and handed him a yugioh card because yugioh's really nerdy and he was hoping that johnson would break up with voldemort for liking yugioh i think you dropped this tom riddle says sora and hands him the yugioh card oh man you like yugioh too! asks an excited lyndon johnson and suddenly the two started playing some duel monsters cockblock attempt dos: sora tried to pants voldemort in front of johnson and show johnson that voldemort in fact has a really small penis too bad voldemort doesn't wear pants he only wears a black cloak cockblock attempt tres: “man i'm hungry” says lyndon johnson “here let me go buy you something, you just wait right here sweetie,” says voldemort and he goes to the concession stand fortunately for sora he kidnapped the guy working at the concession stand and stole his uniform so sora was disguised as a concession stand vendor “hello concession stand vendor i would like to purchase two pretzels on the house” sora was about to talk but he realized that if he tried to talk he would sound like sora so he had to change his voice to make it sound like a black man yeh nigga i gotcho shit ri'ght he'a on da clock sora then hands voldemort two pretzels “thank you,” says voldemort “heh heh,” says sora as voldemort walks away little did voldemort know, but sora intentionally put some cyanide in voldemort's pretzel however, when they were about to eat the pretzel voldemort saw two homeless kids without food or money and decided to give the kids the pretzels as a way of being generous to them homeless folk (and voldemort figured it would make him look like a baller in front of johnson) unfortunately one of the homeless kids ate the pretzel and died seconds later the police arrived shortly after to investigate the situation they eventually arrested voldemort for being the suspect murderer this is all a misunderstanding, says voldemort, i did not do this i assure you i can explain explain it in court says the police officer and handjobs the shit out of voldemort followed by handcuffing the shit out of him it wasn't me, yells voldemort, it was that concession stand guy over there, and he points toward sora the cops were tired of dealing with voldemort's shit so they put his ass in the trunk of the cop car and drove off as for lyndon johnson he was distraught that his lover had just murdered a young child later that night sora tried to console lyndon johnson i'm sorry about voldemort, man, says sora, is there anything i can do for you thanks sora, says a sad lyndon johnson, you know, i haven't seen this side of you before, you're a real nice guy man thanks buddy says sora and he tries to fondle with johnson's leg a little bit sora what are you doing i'm just testing things out, you know, to see if you're spongeworthy i am not going to sleep with you sora, the love of my life is currently in prison awaiting trial for murder, i can't do that to him just yet how long do i have to wait, then, asks sora a lil' bit can you please give me a more concrete answer because if we don't have sex tonight i think i am going to purchase a provocative movie nah, not tonight, i'm afraid, says johnson, but i appreciate your support, sora, and johnson kisses sora on the cheek or rather, he at least tries to kiss him before sora pulls back at the last second and slaps johnson don't tease me, bro haha, sorry man so for the rest of the night sora and johnson had some in-depth conversations about politics, religion, and even a little bit of physics before sora fell asleep at about 9 pm because he was kinda tired the next day everyone got ready because they were all invited to attend voldemort's trial “sora wake up we gotta go to voldemort's trial” says ****** and tries to wake up sora by bouncing a basketball on his forehead “i swear to god i'm sick i can't go” “are you sure” “yes i'm so sick i'm throwing up clouds and squalls” “alright then make sure you get a lot of rest and i hope you get well soon” when everybody left sora once again disguised himself as the concession stand vendor because he wanted to make sure voldemort stayed in jail so that he get all up johnson's stanky ass genitals (should i feel bad for doing this to voldemort) (probably..) (man, love makes me do some weird thangs) (i'm sorry, voldemort...) (no i'm not what am i saying) (ehhhh) (fuck this johnson is my boo) (hmmm) sora eventually arrived at court disguised as the concession vendor about an hour later here's how everything was set up the judge: abe lincoln the bailiff: the bailiff the jury: two hot wheels cars and some masking tape the prosecution: edward elric aka one of the top brass members [gasp says the audience] [awoo says the gasp] the defendant: tom marvolo riddle aka i am lord voldemort defense attorney: harry potter all rise said the bailiff overruled said the bailiff honorable judge lincoln presiding i am the honorable judge he says before taking a seat boo you suck yells a deranged fan will the prosecution start with their opening statements says the bailiff yes, says edward elric, i have a few things to say prosecution's opening statements: voldemort probably did it but we don't have enough concrete evidence so i think i'm just gonna chill and let the jury do 'dey work good work, says the bailiff, now, would the defense like to follow-up with their opening statements sho would says defense attorney harry potter defense attorney's opening statements: if you find voldemort guilty i will set this entire courthouse on fire that is a promise and not only that i will also plant a bunch of marijuana on government officials so that they all look like druggies and will also have to go to jail as well that way voldemort will have some company while he is in prison alright, first witness for the prosecution please, says the bailiff the first witness was the murdered child did voldemort kill you, asks prosecutor edward elric how is that murdered child supposed to answer, asks the bailiff, aren't dead people not allowed to talk or something don't worry says prosecutor edward elric, everything's under control edward elric shot a bullet in the air to cause a distraction and during this distraction the murdered child's friend who was with him the day he was killed got behind the murdered child and made the arm movements for him and stuff like that (think weekend at bernie's) yes, says the murdered child, yes, voldemort killed me next witness the next witness was the dead child's buddy did voldemort do it i think so alright, next witness the next witness was the concession stand guy who was actually sora explain everything you saw on the day of the crime asks prosecutor edward elric sora's explanation (under the guise of concession fuck): i gave mr. voldemort a couple pretzels and he looked like a shady fella you see so when he was walking away i was spying on him using binoculars and when he thought nobody was looking i saw him slip some cyanide into one of the pretzels and intentionally gave the pretzels to two little kids in hopes of killing one of them why do you think voldemort would kill a young boy asks edward elric well, i was talking to his girlfriend lyndon johnson and i hear he plays a lot of mature rated video games like final fantasy vii and mike tyson's punch out for the NES is that it, asks the bailiff, yes, replies prosecutor edward elric alright defense witnesses please the only witness the defense had was tom marvolo riddle, but as he was approaching the witness seat harry potter whispered something in his ear nigga i got dis you better not fuck this up, harry, pleads voldemort voldemort takes a seat and accidentally FARTS alright, voldemort, says harry potter, did you kill that child i most certainly did not, i am a good hearted person i got straight a's in high school i went to college at princeton university i was one of the top students in the country i am a great, honest, hard-working american i doubt it mocks a deranged fan you know what i think, says voldemort what, asks harry i think that concession stand guy did it, i think he slipped the cyanide in the pretzels without anybody noticing that man is the real killer, says voldemort sora got all defensive nigga u triflin' alright, says the bailiff, we're gonna take a vote all in favor of voldemort getting put on death row, raise yo' hand 6 people raised their hand all in favor of voldemort being cleared of all charges and putting the concession boy on death row, raise yo' hand 6 people raised they hand we need a tie-breaker vote says the bailiff i want voldemort to be put on death row, says a mysterious voice from the shadows this figure walked forward and it was revealed to be lyndon johnson lyndon! yells voldemort, why are you betraying me i cannot trust you, voldemort, says johnson, and i do not want to be a part of your life if you're just going to go around killing children i am not a murderer! yells an angry ass voldemort i'm sorry, tom, but i cannot be your soul mate any longer, johnson, and he walks off crying lord voldemort, says the bailiff, you are hereby sentenced to death for the murder of one child and you will be executed in a couple days maybe i dunno it depends when we get that tight new guillotine this court is adjourned says the bailiff sora was kinda sad that he had to betray a good buddy like that, but on the plus side he was getting closer to lyndon johnson suddenly there was a breeze that whizzed through the courthouse, and caused sora's disguise to fall off and everyone saw that sora was the concession stand guy this infuriated voldemort s-s-sora.. ? but why? ... you greedy son of a - ! voldemort tried to cuss the shit out of sora but it was too late because he was handcuffed and escorted to a police car a couple hours later voldemort was found in prison sulking like a baby back bitch sora... i will get you back you traitor... .. from this day forward.. .. you are my sworn enemy.. to be continued ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000O] chapter fifteen: bongs and blunts theme song: YouTube - Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze lyndon johnson died from heart disease the next day the funeral was nothing to write home about because they accidentally buried him in the wrong plot and when they tried to move him back to his real plot one of the pallbearer's hands got all sweaty and the casket tipped over and the body fell into the wrong plot again and all these snakes and lizards and feudal lords were all crawling up on johnson's corpse and nobody felt like touching his grimy ass body so everyone just kinda went home after that sora was distraught because he had betrayed a close buddy in hopes of getting up in johnson's pants but since he died everything was all for naught ****** tried to comfort sora by throwing a party for him but the party never ended up happening because this guy named shoplift sammy threw an even bigger party on the same night and everyone else went there instead what am i going to do with all these chips wonders ****** meanwhile september 11th was on the way and sora was very patriotic so he decided to celebrate what he does first is makes a replica of the twin towers out of legos and decides to call up some buddies unfortunately the only people that came were ****** and this guy named ballistic who knew sora through connections but never met him personally alright here's what we're gonna do says sora, we're gonna have a contest to see who can recreate the best terrorist attack all you gotta do is ram into the legos in the most creative way possible the winner gets a coupon for free pussy at the local hot topic alright i'll go first says ****** and he picks up one of the twin towers and throws it up really high in the sky at the same there was this huge plane and the pilot was getting really cocky and was flying really closed to the ground and accidentally hit the lego twin tower and smashed it into pieces this caused the plane to lose control and it crashed into ****** he was impaled in half it was weird though because at the exact same time the world was undergoing some sort of odd catastrophe where the gravitational pull got extremely strong and this pull was able to keep ******'s body in place so he was fine the plane however was smashed into bits and several thousand innocent fuckheads survived ah yes, my favorite day of the year, says the mysterious mystery man in the background and this man was none other than the middle east let's skip the formalities says sora and he runs in for a low kick but the middle east dodges the attack smoothly and cleanly you cannot kill me, says the middle east, especially not on 9/11 well if i can't kill you on 9/11 i'll just use this time warp that ****** built in his pool hoppin' days and i think i'll use that to go back a couple days into the past sora used this time machine but it came with a disclaimer that sora forgot to read disclaimer it doesn't work fuck during this time the middle east threw a number of spikes at sora that sora was able to dodge thanks to his speed and his cunning and his powerful dodges the middle east kinda zoned out about halfway through the fight because he was really tired and didn't get much sleep the previous night so when he zoned out ****** came behind him with a metal baseball bat and smashed the fuck out of his dome the middle east splattered into three trillion little pieces and sora and his buddies spent the rest of the day hiding all of the little pieces in various hiding spots throughout the world i'll come back... someday... says the middle east's final words sora and ****** did a really good handshake for a job well done to celebrate the death of the middle east the gang decided to chill a little bit out on the back porch for a smoke (the gang being sora, ******, and this ballistic fella) today was a good day says sora man today was ballistic! says ballistic just a few more top brass members to go, says ****** indeed, says sora, as he mellows out with a crisp blunt the rest of the day was a blur because within about two hours they were all stoned like fuck BOOM BOOM KABOOM sora, ******, and ballistic were all surrounded by gigantic blunts and they were trying to sexually assault the gang these are some crips blunts says ****** man these blunts are ballistic! says ballistic i got my mind on my money got my mind on my money got my mind on my money says sora he was wearing baggy ass showts with big red bulldogs in his back pockets the gang tried to fight off all these blunts but they couldn't handle the smoke and they were afraid of all the smoke so they decided to fight their way through the smoke with several fire hoses but that didn't work because the smoke was morphing into really gigantic blunt soldiers with blunts in their hands these soldiers were really powerful but also very hungry they all surrounded ****** and decided to engulf him in smoke and make him die of lung cancer hey watch out ****** i gotcho back says sora as he prepares an attack he and ballistic hijacked these two planes and crashed into the the blunts and everything exploded but then all the explosions morphed into even more gigantic blunts sora woke up with a start the next day man... that was a weird dream... says sora it wasn't a dream says sora's blunt and it morphed into an even taller blunt and it started munchin' on ballistic's sleepy body the smell of smoke woke ****** up and he and sora decided to help ballistic out by attacking the blunt with a series of punches and kicks and crude insults sora woke up with a start the next day man.. i'm never doing drugs ever again.. that stuff screws with your mind, says sora agreed, says ******, that was a weird hallucination yeah drugs make you ballistic! says ballistic they pulled themselves together the next day and threw all of their drug and drug paraphernalia into the ocean and vowed never to do drugs ever again but what are we gonna do for fun, wonders sora we don't have to do drugs, says ******, we can have fun in many other ways but man that weed made me feel alive for the first time in my life, says sora sora drugs are bad and you should not do them or else you'll end up unsuccessful but isn't it all right to have fun every now and then, asks sora i don't think so, says ****** as he lights up a blunt, you see, blunts are very addictive and before you know it you'll be smokin' twenty kilos a day sora lit up a blunt and he handed ballistic his extra grass and they all started having another good time wait.. didn't we throw this all in the ocean? asks sora maybe that was a hallucination wonders ****** maybe this is all a hallucination says sora i think you guys are going ballistic! says ballistic maybe you're a hallucination, ballistic, says sora i don't know what you're talking about ballistic! says ballistic sora lit up another blunt and suddenly he was trippin' balls and he could have sworn he saw a green beret fighting a snowman heh, says the blunt, do you like this, sora i do, says sora, it makes me feel alive heh, why don't you try some better stuff, suggests the blunt, because let me tell you there are better things out there i don't know any good dealers out there the blunt grins, and shows sora the underside of his coat whattya need, asks the blunt whattya got, asks sora i got cocaine, blow, and speed i'll take 4 kilos of blow and a coke thank ya says the blunt and hands him some blow man i can't wait to try this stuff, says sora .... how do you do this stuff? easy, says ******, don't do it! or else you'll succumb to the dark world of drug use come on man i just want to have some fun, says sora, and he starts munchin' on the blow suddenly sora was trippin' balls and he got really angry and started pretending to be a professional wrestler and during this he tackled the fuck out of ballistic and put him in a very deadly headlock that nearly killed ballistic sora knock it off! warns ******. you'll die. ****** smacked the drugs out of sora's hand and threw them into the ocean why'd you do that! yells sora and he gets into a fist fight with ****** sora i don't want you to succumb to drug use, says ******. i... i... i don't want to lose another friend to drugs... shut up ****** i can do what i want with my life says sora and he inhales a little more cocaine sora was really out of it now but he was having a good time XD sora! no! yells ****** and he throws ballistic at him it was weird though because as ballistic hit sora his nose accidentally came into contact with sora's nose and sora sneezed at that exact same interval and some of the blow went from sora's nose to ballistic's nose and ballistic started going ballistic he ran really fast into ******'s teeth but ******'s teeth were made of cocaine so ballistic inadvertently inhaled some more cocaine so he started tripping even more balls man how funny would it be if i did this, says ballistic, and what he does is he goes ahead and drowns himself in the ocean he was never seen again ballistic... is dead.. says ****** he turns towards sora and pleads with him please sora, please, pleads ******, please stop doing drugs, they are bad and they can kill you sora seemed legitimately scared after witnessing ballistic's death and decided to throw all of his drugs and drug paraphernalia into the ocean and vowed never to do drugs ever again as a reward for their good deeds sora and ****** decided to vacation in the pristine desert paradise of somalia sora was in the distance pulling out an eight ball i thought you stopped doing drugs, sora, wonders the reader perhaps it was all a...... hallucination... snort snort [to be continued] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [000P] chapter sixteen: turbo's revenge theme song: YouTube - Hot N' Cold - Katy Perry (With Lyrics) a few weeks had passed since sora's drug excursions and let's just say he isn't very normal anymore. last week he was 45 minutes late to his math class and said he had to mow the lawn as an excuse even though deep down everyone knew he was enjoying a snazzy ass blunt in the parking lawt ****** was just pretending like it isn't real because he hates drug users but doesn't know how to stop drug users from doing drugs so he just does drugs to let off some steam and forget about all his problems anyway sora was so high one day he decided to purchase a facebook on the black market from this shady dealer who went by the name of shady ass shapeshifter “eh man you want a facebook” asks shady ass shapeshifter “no thanks i already have one” says sora nicely and proceeds to inject blunts into his bloodstream “well can your current facebook do this?” asks shady ass shapeshifter and he shows sora what the new black market facebook is capable of unfortunately for you guys everything fades to black as shady ass is demonstrating this to sora so we do not know exactly what it is this “black market” facebook is capable of “i want to buy this” says sora and he buys the fuck out of a new facebook he goes home and creates a new facebook profile but until after he makes one final status update on his old account 6:40 PM sora is currently making a new facebook! he starts adding buddies right away but the only person so far who accepted his friend request is george washington carver. he then spent the rest of the night updating his facebook so that the ladies might comment on his status: 7:27 PM sora is currently playing half-life 2 on his ps2 7:29 PM sora is currently playing half-life 2 (still) on his ps2 7:32 PM sora is kinda tired of half-life 2 so i'm going to play some final fantasy vii on my ps1 instead 3 comments: george washington carver: sora you suck at half-life 2 sora: yeah whatchu gonna do about it pussy george washington carver: **hiccup** 7:35 PM sora started watching death note 7:40 PM sora is tired of death note and is going to play some half-life 2 on his ps2 instead 7:41 PM sora has to use the bathroom before playing half-life 2 on his ps2 7:44 PM sora decided to play some final fantasy vii on his ps1 because when he was peeing he decided to change his mind 7:49 PM sora is wondering why no babes have added him on facebook yet 7:53 PM sora is going to bed 1 comment: george washington carver: good night 7:56 PM sora can't sleep george washington carver likes this 1 comment: george washington carver: ah man maybe i should come over and help you sleep **winks** sora: haha maybe hey what's your aim screenname george washington carver: peanutxbabey34 sora: alright get on so we can talk more in private so sora signed on aim but not until after he made one final update on his facebook for the night: sora: is talking on aim with george washington carver! george washington carver likes this so sora gets on aim he got a new screen name because of sexual predators his new name is now lost_and_in_love23 lost_and_in_love23: hey bay-b peanutxbabey3: kiss me lost_and_in_love23: ? peanutxbabey3: let's meet in person and get drunk haha lost_and_in_love23: alright what's your address peanutxbabey3: 103 hot ass sex street lost_and_in_love23: ... on second thought no thanks i'm kinda tired i think i'm gonna go to bed peanutxbabey3: come on man i'm just playing around please let me hang out with you i think we've made a really really good connection lost_and_in_love23: well... peanutxbabey3: come on dammit i'm horny as fuck sora knew not to be teased by internet weirdos so he blocked the living shit out of peanutxbabey3 and decided to get back on facebook 8:06 PM sora just got sexually harassed by george washington carver george washington carver likes this sora then decided to take his mind off of george washington carver and decided to update his photo album with a lot of angle and mirror pics (because he has no irl friends to take pictures for him) he went to bed happily and expected thousands and thousands of comments on his pictures he woke up happily and expected thousands and thousands of comments on his pictures he got really excited because he saw 409 notifications on his facebook but his computer froze right as he was about to see all of the notifications so he had to restart the computer when he signed back on he got even more excited because he saw 4005 notifications on his facebook unfortunately all of the notifications were GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER HAS COMMENTED ON YOUR PIC multiply the above sentence by like 4005 and that's all of sora's notifications all of the comments on his photos were the same too: george washington carver: baby you lookin' hot in dem pics i've been stayin' up all night saving these pics to my computer lol lmfao sora was freaking out and he tried calling the cops but then he realized that the cops were still on the lookout for him so he decided not to call them instead he tried to delete his facebook account in order to get away from this washington carver fella turns out you can't really delete these new “black market” facebooks very easily in order to delete them you have to undergo a series of intricate steps step one: find a crystal and insert it into an outlet in a suburban home step two: infiltrate a local power plant and dismantle all the nuclear weapons step three: find a sword hidden twelve furlongs beneath the earth's surface step four: do something good for the community step five: don't tell a lie for seven days step six: don't tell the truth for seven days (must be done in conjunction with step five) step seven: eradicate one ethnic group of your choosing step eight: don't let the government know of your plans step nine: make a stone out of hawk corpses and make it orbit the sun step ten: prove yourself in a game of hoops to 3 against your rival sora looked at this steps and decided that owning a “black market” facebook wouldn't be that bad so he decided to just deal with it but he began to slowly regret that decision as the days went on because george washington carver kept commenting on all his updates sora tried to sign off his “black market” facebook account but it wouldn't let him “no, sora, come stay for a minute” says the intricacies of sora's conscience (even though it was the electrons inside of the “black market” facebook that was controlling his conscience) sora followed the directions and took a seat back at the computer and decided to make more updates sora tried to break free from the control of the “black market” facebook but it wouldn't let him. “what the hell is this... 'black market' facebook?” sora wondered, “what kind of mad man would do something like this?” he signed back on facebook and george washington carver made a status update: 6:50 PM george washington carver: me the crips like this sora was now concerned for his well being. he had no idea what was going to happen next, and in order to find a way out of this without having to go through the 10 steps, sora flew to miami and contacted his old friend “i'm coming with you” says ****** the day before sora left for miami “no, ******,” says sora angrily angry but not angry enough to constitute as pissed off, “this... is my battle. I have to figure this out on my own.” “sora,” says ******, “we made a vow when we first established the warriors of light. me and you are a team. and there is no way i'm letting you fight this battle on your own.” he held out his hand (i think if this scene was real it could be used for an amv pretty well wouldn't ya say?) (yeah) “******...” says sora and he reaches out and high fives ****** (he actually made contact this time so i reckon his hand to eye coordination is getting a bit bette- no wait nevermind he accidentally put too much lotion on his hand and his hand slipped off ******'s hand and hit em in da fawkin toof) so they head to miami like the bitchin' ass duo that they are and meet up with sora's old buddy vladimir lenin “come in, come in” says lenin in russian, “close the door please” lenin leads them through his house and beckons them towards a seat in the living room. “have some coffee,” he says. “it's been a long time, sora,” says lenin “yes..” says sora, “the trial of '05, wasn't it?” lenin takes a sip of his coffee “indeed.” “the trial of '05?” inquires ******, “i'm afraid i do not understand.” sora takes a deep breath. “******,” he says, “what i am about to tell you is something that may change your life forever. are you ready for that?” “slightly” “here goes,” says sora. [to be continued] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ why did the chicken cross the road to get to chapter seventeen but it's not there yet so he got hit by a bus ROTFLMFAO Last edited by scubasteve; October 30th, 2009 at 05:57 AM. | ||||||
 
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August 4th, 2009, 06:39 AM
| #2 | ||||||
| Monkeybutt INC Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Monkeybutt INC Posts: 4,075
Rep Power: 10 Level: 71 EXP:
 | Re: kh4: warriors of light lmfao, i love it, its like, sex. but im a virgin so its not like id know | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 06:41 AM
| #3 | ||||||
| The Almighty Join Date: May 2007 Location: Ivalice Age: 16 Posts: 7,720
Rep Power: 12 Level: 32 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light best sequel ever to the best story ever | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 06:42 AM
| #4 | ||||||
| doesn't play well with others Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 17 Posts: 1,982
Rep Power: 13 Level: 16 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light this is amazing holy shit steve i love you more pLEASE | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 06:42 AM
| #5 | ||||||
| Cozza Frenzy Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Cypress Hill Age: 16 Posts: 6,290
Rep Power: 12 Level: 32 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light steve are you secretly jeebus? | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 06:43 AM
| #6 |
| Organization Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hannah, Montana Age: 15 Posts: 814
Rep Power: 2 Level: EXP: | Re: kh4: warriors of light You never fail to disappoint. |
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August 4th, 2009, 06:44 AM
| #7 | ||||||
| superb moderator Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: midwest side Posts: 5,533
Rep Power: 14 Currently playing: the new lady gaga album Level: 28 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light i came a little bit kinda | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 06:46 AM
| #8 | ||||||
| I take a potato chip and EAT IT! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Eating Rosebud Frozen Green Peas. Full of Country Goodness and Green Peanus! Age: 14 Posts: 2,220
Rep Power: 6 Level: 27 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light It's like an orgasm for my mind reading this. So amazing. | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 07:01 AM
| #9 | ||||||
| superb moderator Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: midwest side Posts: 5,533
Rep Power: 14 Currently playing: the new lady gaga album Level: 28 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] kh4: warriors of light 4 warriors of light plus mgs4/kh4 parallels am i genius or am i slightly smarter than your typical valedictorian? | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 07:02 AM
| #10 | ||||||
| NEWFAGS CAN'T TRIFORCE Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: EHT, NJ 0823four Age: 13 Posts: 3,926
Rep Power: 5 Level: 23 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] what about anime world and bowsah | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 07:07 AM
| #11 |
| Organization Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hannah, Montana Age: 15 Posts: 814
Rep Power: 2 Level: EXP: | Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] That was in KH3. This is KH4. Christ. |
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August 4th, 2009, 07:09 AM
| #12 | |||||||
| superb moderator Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: midwest side Posts: 5,533
Rep Power: 14 Currently playing: the new lady gaga album Level: 28 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] Quote:
i am not tetsuya nomura, my stories are just as keikaku | |||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 10:59 AM
| #13 | ||||||
| Take me on. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Canada Age: 19 Posts: 2,972
Rep Power: 10 Level: 25 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] this is pretty dildos. and by dildos I mean fucking awesome. | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 11:04 AM
| #14 | ||||||
| DAT ASS Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: The Black House Age: 20 Posts: 2,249
Rep Power: 7 Level: 15 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] This story is the shit, and you should feel great for posting it. Gonna read Gran Turismo 5 Prologue again. Also can't wait to see what enigmatic nigga i mean ***** has in store.. | ||||||
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August 4th, 2009, 11:59 AM
| #15 | ||||||
| superb moderator Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: midwest side Posts: 5,533
Rep Power: 14 Currently playing: the new lady gaga album Level: 28 EXP:
| Re: kh4: warriors of light [chapter 1] i'm glad you folks is enjoying this by the way i posted chapter 2 so enjoy i guess (this is one of thoreau's least favorite chapters but that's just because he's not a huge fan of liberals) | ||||||
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| this plot is canon |
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