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Old October 30th, 2009, 12:48 AM   #16
Notorious White Mage Captainess
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Default Re: Paladin
THanks!

Anything in the story you liked, didn't like, or how I can improve? (And specifically)

Check out HOly Knight. The Sequel/Prequel to this story!
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Old October 30th, 2009, 01:05 AM   #17
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Default Re: Paladin
It seems a little long. I like Demy's back story but could you make it shorter.
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Old October 30th, 2009, 01:14 AM   #18
Notorious White Mage Captainess
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Haunted Mansion
Age: 20
Posts: 7,355
Rep Power: 10 madammina is mediocrity at its finestmadammina is mediocrity at its finest
Level: 35
EXP:
Points: 21,317, Level: 35 Points: 21,317, Level: 35 Points: 21,317, Level: 35
Level up: 48% Level up: 48% Level up: 48%
Default Re: Paladin
What woudl you have me cut?

Just curious... I'm not changing it, but for future reference.
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Old October 30th, 2009, 01:18 AM   #19
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Default Re: Paladin
Nothing, just bits that you chould save for later.
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Old October 30th, 2009, 01:30 AM   #20
Notorious White Mage Captainess
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Haunted Mansion
Age: 20
Posts: 7,355
Rep Power: 10 madammina is mediocrity at its finestmadammina is mediocrity at its finest
Level: 35
EXP:
Points: 21,317, Level: 35 Points: 21,317, Level: 35 Points: 21,317, Level: 35
Level up: 48% Level up: 48% Level up: 48%
Default Re: Paladin
It's a one shot, or was meant to be anyway. I didn't know I would do the sequel/prequel until later.
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Old October 30th, 2009, 01:33 AM   #21
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Ah. Then carry on. Not much eles to say.
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demyx, kairi, paladin, thassalla

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