| | #1 |
| modern soldier Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: battlefield Posts: 4,105
Rep Power: 7 ![]() ![]() Currently playing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Level: 18 EXP: | Plot: What do you get when you mix the 13th Order, some tickets to Hawaii and a cruiser? Well, that's an easy one! You get, nothing less than... A free trip to DISASTER! Join our strange freak looking Nobodies in a vacation that will fill even Jiminy's journal! PROLOGUE: Time for a meeting: Vacation business... In The World That Never Was, The Castle That Never Was, specifically in the entrance, we see Axel putting his hands inside the mailbox. "Huh, fourteen letters, how unusual of them to deliver such amount." Axel said while grabbing them Such as Axel was about to close the mailbox, the wind blows and a multi-colored paper comes out of the mailbox and lands in Axel's hands. "CONGRATULATIONS! You have won a trip to the tropical paradise of... HAWAII! Tell your friends to join you so that you can't go alone to Hawaii while riding the luxurious S.S. Gummi Cruiser! Don't just stand there! Pack your things and get ready to go to Hawaii! Brought to you by the local residents of Hawaii." "This or eating ice cream atop a clocktower... Hawaii it is!" Axel exclaimed while dropping every other letter and only having in his hands the free trip letter. Axel dashes through the corridors, jumps over the ledges and knocks over doors ignoring anyone in his path until he reaches the room where the organization members usually meet in. When he reaches the center of the room, every single member of the organization come from a dark portal and appear sit on each of their respective seat. "What was the meaning of such outburst Number VIII?!" Vexen exclaimed when he punched his seat. "Good of all of you to be here!" Axel exclaimed "Hurry it up, I have books to read." Zexion boringly said while looking somewhere else "Yeah, what the bookworm said!" Said Luxord "Hmph! At least I don't play alone!" Replied Zexion "Oh!" Everyone exclaimed "Well I'll have you know that-" Just as Luxord was about to finish, he get's interrupted by Xigbar "What? Solitaire is a game to prepare someone for Poker? Bah ha!" Said Xigbar "Here comes Mr. I hide in places waiting for someone to be sniped!" Boringly said Larxene "RATTLE RATTA ROAR RATTA ROAR!" It was the only thing understandable of the whole situation Axel patiently looking at everyone else, Xemnas was quietly thinking in his seat, until... "ENOUGHT!!!" He exclaimed Everyone except Axel had a gray and white glowing powder in their mouths. "Number VIII, finish what you wanted to tell us." Xemnas said "OK! I just got some letter that says we can go to Hawaii!" "So you arranged a mission so that we can hunt for different hearts and Heartless there?" Xemnas asked "Ah... Something like that!" "It's settled then!" Said Xemnas "Everyone! Pack your things, we're going to Hawaii!" Everyone left with a strange look on their faces, each of them thinking "Is this a missions..." or "Is this a vacation?". Having no choice, everyone returned to their rooms and began packing for their trip. Any comment accepted! |
![]() | |
| | #2 |
| Organization Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking the red and cheering on the Washington Capitals Posts: 823
Rep Power: 2 ![]() Currently playing: Kingdom Hearts I Level: EXP: | Ooh, I really like this. Organization XIII and a free trip to Hawaii, man, that is going to be one crazy adventure. I can't wait to see what kind of chaos these guys cause while on vacation. Good start to your story, and I look forward to the next update. |
![]() | |
| | #3 |
| Dual Wielder | it would be funny if the cops started chasing them just for tipping a tiki |
![]() | |
| | #4 | ||
| modern soldier Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: battlefield Posts: 4,105
Rep Power: 7 ![]() ![]() Currently playing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Level: 18 EXP: | Quote:
Quote:
CHAPTER ONE: Let's pack our things! Xion's, Roxas' and Axel's Scenario: "Where did you find that thing Axel?" Xion asked while putting her bikinis on a pack "What thing?" Asked Axel while searching for some of his sleeveless shirts "You know, the free pass to Hawaii." She said "Oh! I found it in the mailbox while getting everyone's mail." "I wonder how's it gonna be in Hawaii." Said Roxas while searching for something in his drawer "The only thing I can tell you is that it's gonna be hot... H-O-T, got it memorized?" Axel said "Great! I can spend my secret stash on something useful!" Exclaimed Roxas "Just remember to pack some sunblock." Xion said Zexion's, Lexeaus' and Vexen's Scenario: "Hmph! Who needs a vacation when I could be spending time doing research alone!" Exclaimed Vexen while looking mad and throwing his clothes in a pack "Face it, The Superior thinks Axel assigned us a mission." Zexion replied while putting his clothes on his Lexicon "Oh! That's coming from the one who's used to these things!" Said Vexen "As much as I liked to stay here, it's still a mission." Zexion said "Just cool down, Vexen. Maybe The Superior will give you a research related mission." Said Lexeaus while packing his Tomahawk "Hm... You may have a point." Vexen said Larxene's and Marluxia's Scenario: "AAAHHH!!! GRRRAAAHHH!!! THIS COULD'VE BEEN OUR TIME!!! OUR TIME TO PLAY BACK STAB!" Apparently, none of these two have a positive though about the idea to go to Hawaii. Demyx's and Luxord's Scenario: "I hope you aren't bringing cards to a tropical island." Demyx said while packing his sitar on a special case "This is STILL a 'mission' you know!" Replied Luxord while packing his deck of cards on a pack "That's what the Boss thinks." Demyx said Luxord sighed then said "I hope that whole 'without heart no memories' idea pops up in him." Luxord said Xigbar's, Xaldin's and Xemnas' Scenario: "Sooo, Boss! What's our 'mission', eh?" Xigbar said excitedly while polishing his guns "Our... or they're?" Replied Xemnas while thinking in his thrown "I like the idea that we free will be the only ones 'on vacation' while the others enjoy their 'assignments, ha!" Xaldin said while using the wind to blow his stuff in a pack "The three most active members of the group, finally getting some R&R!" Said Xigbar while stretching his arms "Knowing you, Xehanort, for many years, I can say there's something deeper behind this vacation, aren't I correct?" Xaldin said "Let's just say that these 'missions' will give quite a reputation." Replied Xemnas "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha hah!" Their laughs echoed through the empty room where they usually meet and dissapeard leaving only a trail of darkness. All of the members left the castle and arrived to Memory's Skyscraper... "Is everyone here?" Xemnas asked "SIR, YESSIR!" Everyone said "Hm... Um... Where is Number XIII?" Asked Xemnas "Oh, he said he needed to buy something important before we were supposed to leave." Axel said "I'M HERE!" A voice said that was coming out from a dark portal From the dark portal Roxas came out with a large box in his hands "What is that XIII?" Xemnas asked "Oh! I'll tell you when we enter the bus!" Replied Roxas "OK! Everybody in!" Xigbar exclaimed Everyone entered the bus and seated next to their favorite person. Just as Roxas stepped inside the bus, he opened the bus and gave everyone some... Sea Salt Ice cream! "Ugh! His favorite." Sadly said the first six members of the group COMMENTS? | ||
![]() | |
| | #5 |
| Dual Wielder Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Honestly, I don't even know anymore Age: 16 Posts: 558
Rep Power: 1 ![]() Currently playing: FF7 Crisis Core Level: EXP: | omg, i can't wait to read the rest! this looks like it's going to be hilarious |
![]() | |
| | #6 |
| modern soldier Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: battlefield Posts: 4,105
Rep Power: 7 ![]() ![]() Currently playing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Level: 18 EXP: | |
![]() | |
| | #7 |
| Organization Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking the red and cheering on the Washington Capitals Posts: 823
Rep Power: 2 ![]() Currently playing: Kingdom Hearts I Level: EXP: | So, wait a minute, did Xemnas plan for Axel to find the free passes to Hawaii? Man, I have a feeling that Xemnas is going to quickly regret this. Seriously, I wouldn't be suprised if all the members have an arrest record by the time their vacation is over. Anyway, great job, and I look forward to more. |
![]() | |
| | #8 | |
| modern soldier Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: battlefield Posts: 4,105
Rep Power: 7 ![]() ![]() Currently playing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Level: 18 EXP: | Quote:
| |
![]() | |
| | #9 | |
| Organization Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking the red and cheering on the Washington Capitals Posts: 823
Rep Power: 2 ![]() Currently playing: Kingdom Hearts I Level: EXP: | Quote:
| |
![]() | |
| | #10 |
| Happily Insane Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Im not really sure... Age: 14 Posts: 1,659
Rep Power: 4 ![]() Level: 14 EXP: | It's interesting enough and I like it, but making it a bit more past tense will make it easier to read. |
![]() | |
| | #11 | |
| modern soldier Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: battlefield Posts: 4,105
Rep Power: 7 ![]() ![]() Currently playing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Level: 18 EXP: | Quote:
CHAPTER TWO: Driving to the S.S. Gummi Cruiser! The group formed by fourteen members, but named Organization XIII or the 13th Order, is currently riding a bus waiting to be transported to the cruiser leading them to Hawaii, the S.S. Gummi Cruiser. Just as the bus had a deep silence, Roxas decided to break it. "Sooo, that anyone liked the ice cream?" Roxas asked while looking around from hi seat "It was salty, yet, sweet at the same time." Said Vexen while thinking of it "That's what makes it special!" Said Axel Xemnas, Xaldin and Xigbar were together on the back seat of the bus. Xigbar when whispered to Xaldin. "Isn't this a good time to discuss about the mission?" Xigbar said while covering his mouth with his hand "It's more interesting than talking about his favorite ice cream flavor." Xaldin replied "Next time you want to whisper, make it less noticeable." Said Xemnas while looking somewhere else Xaldin and Xigbar froze stood, but it wasn't because of the ice cream... nor brain freeze... Don't even think about Vexen. "OK! Time for mission briefing." Said Xemnas while standing up "OK, this mission will be like our regular missions. Since we are all going to a different world, different persons means different hearts means different Heartless." Said Xemnas "So basically, you're telling us to do regular basis but on a whole different level of being careful, am I correct?" Zexion said while looking at Xemnas "That is correct, Number VI." Xemnas replied "The S.S. Gummi Cruiser." Xion said admiringly "Correct, Number XIV, we are taking that cruiser for Hawaii." Said Xemnas "No, I can see it!" Said Xion while using her index finger to point out it's location Just as they looked through the bus' window, they saw how the closer they got, the bigger the cruiser looks. Comments? | |
![]() | |
| | #12 |
| Organization Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: At my house with Riku, Saix, and Zexion, rocking the red and cheering on the Washington Capitals Posts: 823
Rep Power: 2 ![]() Currently playing: Kingdom Hearts I Level: EXP: | Hooray, new update!!! So, the bad guy is a he huh? Man, there are a lot of bad men in the series, so it could be anybody. Seriously, I can't wait for you to reveal the identity of Mr. Bad Man because I have no idea who it is or who it could be. Anyway, great job, and I look forward to the next update. |
![]() | |
| | #13 |
| Headlock Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Glamorous New York City Posts: 1,005
Rep Power: 6 ![]() Level: 26 EXP: | Oh my god. I read the prologue and first chapter of this! So far it's looking good! HAIWAII! I love it! XD |
![]() | |
| | #14 | |
| modern soldier Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: battlefield Posts: 4,105
Rep Power: 7 ![]() ![]() Currently playing: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Level: 18 EXP: | Quote:
By the time you posted this, your post count was 666! MY FAN FIC IS CURSED!!! Anywho, thanks for all the comments! | |
![]() | |
| | #15 |
| Dual Wielder Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Honestly, I don't even know anymore Age: 16 Posts: 558
Rep Power: 1 ![]() Currently playing: FF7 Crisis Core Level: EXP: | Chapter 2 was good! And I can tell it's only going to get better from here, haha |
![]() | |
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |