a golden heart (my version of kh)

[thorn]

A golden heart

chapter one

You stared down at the ten year old boy in front of you that was reflecting off the cool water which silently rolled over the warm sand of Star Island. You tried to describe yourself in your minds eye. I’m about 4’7” and slim but toned with pale skin. I have bright turquoiseeyes, spiky silver hair that comes down to my neck and short bangs and a white shirt with gold trimming and wrist length white sleeves, andsilver shorts, and my blue chain necklace with a gold pendant shaped like a heart. And black fingerless gloves with blue fire. I live on the island with John, David, Brooke and my best friend Aidan, I have been here as long as I can remember, that’s about it, I am shy and timid around most people but open and trusting when with my friends, not afraid to fight for what I believe is right and will always try to help…“hello, earth to reks” Aidan said interrupting your thoughts and waving a hand in front of your face. “Have you ever wondered what he thinks about in there Brooke”? “Sometimes I do but most of the time I think he’s asleep”. “I am not!!!” you yelled, they both laughed at you “sheesh it was just a joke, right Brooke” “heh ya”

(Later that day) “Hey John bet you can’t beat me” David said, before jumping down from the tree they were sitting in and landing softly in the sand. “Is that a challenge” john replied while attempting the same maneuver but instead landing on his back with a thud. David laughed at his best friend’s clumsy fall. You, Brooke and Aidan just climbed down. John grabbed his wooden sword off the trunk of the tree while David simply unslung his sword from his waist, making an extremely convincing bored face. As if on cue you three shouted in unison “1…2…3…GO! David charged with sudden ferocity, aiming for john’s left leg. John quickly dodged and counter attacked toward David’s stomach. David blocked it and drove the hilt of his sword into john’s back, which sent john rolling across the beach, john got up and charged David, but David simply dodged by rolling to the side and hit john’s knee which sent john face first sprawling in the sand and groaning with pain. “David wins” you shout lifting up his arm. “What do you want this time David” john sighed, “hmm…oh, your match with reks” David answered. “w-what!” john stammered. “Sweet”! You said, unstrapping your wooden sword from your belt. “Bring it on” David mocked. “1…2…3…GO”! The others screamed. “Incoming, reks run” Aidan shouted to you, just in time so you could dodge the stick heading straight for your head. You started to attack but, you were stopped by David, blocking you with incredible speed. I’ve gotta get out of here you thought, turning in an attempt to get away but it was too late David nailed you square in the back. You fell to one knee and screamed with pain. “Pathetic” David spat! You got up and swung at him again but he simply slid out of the way and hit your gut, you groaned and admitted defeat. You then walked to the shore and laid down to recover, that’s when you blacked out.

[sephiroth2]

-------------------------------------

Nice first chapter ^__^ Though, I would just like to say, having the names of the colors in their actual colors, nice idea, but it may be a little hard to read for some people. Besides that, good beginning ^^

[Azrael]

Space it out and then I'll like it

[thorn]

thanks and surprise!



a golden heart

chapter 2

You were falling into darkness, just falling and falling. O heart of purest light, shine true and bright, at times of darkest night, reveal your might, a mysterious voice said. What was that, “where are you” you shouted. I am your dream, it is you that are in me the voice spoke again, and then suddenly you stopped falling, you had landed on something but it still looked like darkness, then thousands of orbs of light came out of nowhere and lifted off the darkness you were standing on, and the darkness became a stained glass platform that had the shape of a gold heart in the middle and around it was a blue circle, and in the heart was pictures of you and your friends. Then the voice said, you have a brave heart and you’re not afraid to fight for what you believe is right, there for you have been given the power of the warrior, terrible destruction and the ability to protect what is precious to you is now yours, may you use it well, and then a sword appeared in your hand


then the voice said but power is not enough, you must have the courage and spirit to use it right, and suddenly a bunch of little black mouse like creatures with yellow eyes and black antennas and sharp mean looking claws jumped on you, you started fighting them with your sword and finally defeated them but then more rose-up from the ground and you began to them battle to but you were too tired and scratched up and then suddenly the sword vanished in a burst of light that came from your hand and then a new weird looking sword appeared


And the voice whispered keyblade and you swung at the black monsters and beat them easily Then a light shined down and you began to walk toward it, then the voice said the closer you come to the light the greater your shadow becomes, and then a giant black monster rose from your now rapidly growing shadow and roared, but don’t be afraid and don’t forget… his claws headed straight for you, you swung at him with the new sword and it connected but the hand just covered the sword in darkness and then it began covering you, it had almost covered you when… but don’t be afraid, and don’t forget to let your heart be your guide.

“Reks wake up, its time for the race” Aidan shouted, splashing water in your face “the starts that way hurry, your going to miss it,” he said pointing to the cave, you both took off in a mad run toward the cave and made it in just before Brooke yelled “go”! you all started at the same time but David swiftly took the lead, john edged ahead till you reached the bridge and began jumping over the breaks, there you took the lead rapidly then you all went different ways at the end, you and john went down the slope and through the forest, Aidan went up the ladder and used the zip line, David started hopping across the forest on the tree tops. Aidan made it to the other side of the forest first and started climbing back down a ladder, mean while you and john had made it to the stones and started climbing up, just then David leaped to the end of the forest and landed just below the top of the hill, right as Aidan reached the ground next to the stars and grabbed the green one then he jumped down and started swimming back, as Aidan hit the water you and john reached the top of the hill with you in the lead, you grabbed the silver star, and john grabbed the blue one and you both ran down the hill and started racing back through the forest with David and the red star on your heels. In the end Aidan won, you came in second. John third, David last.
“Man! Second”! You yelled frustrated with yourself.
“Hey, at least you didn’t come in last” David spat.
“Chill out guys it’s just a race” Aidan said mock soothingly.
“Yeah says mister first place” john snapped.
“Dude, I just realized, we can redo it” said David.
“All in favor of redoing it say I” announced Aidan.
“I” all but you replied.
“Reks why don’t you want to redo it?” john asked curiously.
“Because I have better things to do” you answered bluntly.
“Yeah right, we all know you don’t” David cut in sourly.
“I do to!” you shouted.
“Oh yeah, like what” john challenged.
“Like my date with Brooke, were going to the cave to explore then having dinner at the clubhouse, we were hoping to keep it a secret-” you started.
“-but with you guys around we should've known better” Brooke finished grumpily. A very awkward silence followed for about ten minutes then you and Brooke got up silently and headed off never seen again until ten that night at which time john spotted you saying goodbye to Brooke and heading to your boat.

okay the next chapter will be more spaced out and they wont have the color thing

[Hikari]

i like

just one thing

Crimson does not = Blue
Crimson = A form of Red

that is all =D

[The Future]

This is... pretty good! Nice job thorn!

[thorn]

Originally Posted by landseasky5412

i like

just one thing

Crimson does not = Blue
Crimson = A form of Red

that is all =D

oops my miskake

thanks s/r/k im glad you like it!

[LadyofShadow]

Hmm its good, interesting perspective.

One thing though, double space your paragraphs:

5-6 Sentences
~Double Space~
5-6 Sentences
~Double Space~
"Blah, blah blah. " Said Person 1
~Double Space~
Person 2 said. "Blah, blah, blaaaah, yak."

Don't actually write double space though. It just makes the story easier to read.

[thorn]

okay thanks for advice

[thorn]

new chapter!!!!!!!

a golden heart

chapter3


“They are total jerks! I mean cant they just leave us alone for once, one time, that’s I ask.” Brooke stormed.
“Relax,” you soothed, “we have peace and quiet-just the two of us- for the next two hours.”
“I suppose, but still…” she trailed off, “well I guess there’s no point in wasting what time we do have. Come on lets go get dinner.”
“Sure, so where do you want to eat?” you asked.
How ‘bout the peak.” Brooke replied.
“Great just one more thing,” you said.
“What?” Brooke asked.
“When are you going to kiss me?” you were caught completely off guard by the painful punch she delivered right to your gut.
“What did you have to go and do that for, it was just a joke” you said rubbing your sore belly.
“Well it certainly wasn’t a good one” she answered “now how about we go find out the answer to your riddle”
“That sounds like fun” you said putting a hand up to protect yourself from a slap that, mysteriously, never came.
“Hurry, before I change my mind” she said, looking at you in a strange way. I get the feeling I’m going to remember this night for a long time, you thought.



sorry for the short chapter

[thorn]

peoples reviews!!! please(hahaha)