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Old November 1st, 2009, 04:41 AM   #256
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Default Re: Here Comes the Bride
"Fine Enough" Is kind of detrimental. I NEED to improve.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 12:12 AM   #257
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It's been a while since I saw the great peace of work.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 02:54 AM   #258
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Originally Posted by madammina View Post
No, Jack Skellington has NOTHING to do with This story.

The Nightmare Gang takes over Disneyland's Haunted Mansion from Late September to Early January. Since it is Halloween over here, Sora was supposed to allude to it somehow, but I never got it to work.


And Constance and Ezekiel are not up to anything Together. Truth be told, they hate eachother passionately. If you want Spoilers I can PM you how they met. I haven't put it up in here, though, because it is rife with Spoilers.

And I'm glad you don't like how they have been arguing. It isn't supposed to be good.
Oh, okay, thank you for the explanation. I thought it was a little weird that Jack Skellington and the gang would just show up in that world out of nowhere; they would have really freaked out everyone there. So, Constance and Ezekiel aren't up to something together. Well, that is definitely a good thing, seeing as Ezekiel seems just as bad as Constance. Oh, and I would like to see how they met, so if you want to PM me with the details, that would be great. Anyway, I look forward to more.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:13 AM   #259
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It's been a while since I saw the great peace of work.

Specifics please. What did you specifically like, didn't like, and how to improve

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Oh, okay, thank you for the explanation. I thought it was a little weird that Jack Skellington and the gang would just show up in that world out of nowhere; they would have really freaked out everyone there. So, Constance and Ezekiel aren't up to something together. Well, that is definitely a good thing, seeing as Ezekiel seems just as bad as Constance. Oh, and I would like to see how they met, so if you want to PM me with the details, that would be great. Anyway, I look forward to more.
I PM'd.

Not a problem, I realized it might be a little convoluted (headache, I was trying to finish for Halloween)

And, yes, Ezekiel is. But he doesn't really have a plan for my end. Read his story for what he's like. But it won't really affect HCTB.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:26 AM   #260
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Look I like the plot. Jack showing up. lol. It gets a long to read somthings but that's all I've got to say. Your stories are always good and you plus someone here gave me the idea to make fic here in the first place.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:28 AM   #261
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Jack DOESN'T show up. I was going to make a reference to this.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:30 AM   #262
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Yay updates! I didn't like how Riku and Sora were fighting like an old married couple. What happened to a little faith in friends, Sora? And I feel really sorry for Riku, having to deal with all of these things and having people not believe him.

Ezekiel is just as suave as ever. I can't wait for his PoV.

I can't see a lot that you need to improve on, just some minor grammatical things. Looking forward to the next update. =3
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:31 AM   #263
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Ah but that's what I read.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:36 AM   #264
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Yay updates! I didn't like how Riku and Sora were fighting like an old married couple. What happened to a little faith in friends, Sora? And I feel really sorry for Riku, having to deal with all of these things and having people not believe him.

Ezekiel is just as suave as ever. I can't wait for his PoV.

I can't see a lot that you need to improve on, just some minor grammatical things. Looking forward to the next update. =3
Yay for updates! I have two one shots to do before I go back to my circle of Larxene and 14, Timefixer, HCTB updates. At least one is about half way done though.

Well, if it was an Old Married Couple it would be friendly. Sora not apologizing for bringing up Maleficent doesn't sound friendly.

The only person who does believe him is Madam Leota and Oona. Oona lives in a swamp and Leota's a gypsy who are treated very badly.

I have ideas for when I will do it, but not what. Just expect it to be like King and the Courtesean... just

Actually, I know about that and you don't. I'll leave it there.

Alright. Thanks!

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Ah but that's what I read.
And I was just saying it was an idea that I didn't get to work. It is NOT CANON!
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:58 AM   #265
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Yay for updates! I have two one shots to do before I go back to my circle of Larxene and 14, Timefixer, HCTB updates. At least one is about half way done though.
What are the one shots going to be about?

Quote:
Well, if it was an Old Married Couple it would be friendly. Sora not apologizing for bringing up Maleficent doesn't sound friendly.
I meant an old married couple that are sick of each other.

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The only person who does believe him is Madam Leota and Oona. Oona lives in a swamp and Leota's a gypsy who are treated very badly.
They should be treated better.

Quote:
I have ideas for when I will do it, but not what. Just expect it to be like King and the Courtesean... just

Actually, I know about that and you don't. I'll leave it there.

Alright. Thanks!
Why must you leave me with such burning curiosity? Grr... Fine.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 04:07 AM   #266
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What are the one shots going to be about?
One is Legend of Zelda that is part of a story trade with Org. It has to deal with bubbles.

The other is in my "Origins of the Org" unofficial series. I've done Axel (Mirror Image) and Demyx (Holy Knight/Paladin) and I think I did someone else too.

Anyway, it's Lexaeus turn, but I think he'll be living this one, instead of conversations and flashbacks like the others.


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I meant an old married couple that are sick of each other.
Oh, okay.


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Originally Posted by Andillexe View Post
They should be treated better.
They should, but, alas, I can't change history.
And just wait until I deal with Rolly.


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Originally Posted by Andillexe View Post
Why must you leave me with such burning curiosity? Grr... Fine.
Well, in this case, King and the Courtesean (while interesting) doesn't really affect HCTB. Partly due to the fact the "real" Ezekiel lives in modern times in a New York type city. Melissa does exist in that, but why and how I can't really use for HCTB (and Pseudocide's take on how Constance and Ezekiel met has Constance suggesting Ezekiel's plan for Melissa. It would be a bit Meta)

And while I've been spoiled... it's only becuase Pseudocide trusts me ;)

Plus, Org reads this and King. I don't want to spoil her.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 04:24 AM   #267
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^ And for that last bit, I'm much obliged!

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Originally Posted by madammina View Post
"I'm in mourning, Ezekiel." she gestured to her black dress and shawl.


"And you are dancing with me, the tango in fact. Not a very good widow."


"Hence, why I'm getting my drink."
This was my favorite part outside of the Jane Eyre reference. I love the snark of Constance/Ezekiel!

I really, really, honestly loved it. There was nothing about the content of the chapter that I would change. Maybe it's because I know how both Sora and Riku are viewing these events, but I wasn't bothered by the argument. If my best friend and I were in a house together and he kept screaming and saying that the portraits were changing, I'd probably think he was crazy too. I guess the only thing that's strange about the whole deal is why Sora and Kairi haven't attempted to leave this world with Riku when in their minds, there's clearly something wrong with him and it started ever since they stepped foot in Constance's house.

I see you fixed up some of the typos, thought there's still some grammatical errors. That's my only real complaint. Unless you don't mind and you want me to go Grammar Nazi on you. :) Other then that, well done! It was good and it certainly held my interest the whole way through!
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 04:31 AM   #268
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^ And for that last bit, I'm much obliged!
You're welcome.


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This was my favorite part outside of the Jane Eyre reference. I love the snark of Constance/Ezekiel!
They are fun, if I get them right.

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Originally Posted by Organization_42 View Post
I really, really, honestly loved it. There was nothing about the content of the chapter that I would change. Maybe it's because I know how both Sora and Riku are viewing these events, but I wasn't bothered by the argument. If my best friend and I were in a house together and he kept screaming and saying that the portraits were changing, I'd probably think he was crazy too. I guess the only thing that's strange about the whole deal is why Sora and Kairi haven't attempted to leave this world with Riku when in their minds, there's clearly something wrong with him and it started ever since they stepped foot in Constance's house.
Addressed a few chapters ago. Sora thinks ( or is convincing himself) that Riku's craziness was just on a time delay and he would have gone crazy whether he was in this house, or at Destiny Islands. Sora and Kairi decided (more Sora) this place was just as good as any so they will stay and try to find the darkness Mickey warned them about.


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I see you fixed up some of the typos, thought there's still some grammatical errors. That's my only real complaint. Unless you don't mind and you want me to go Grammar Nazi on you. :) Other then that, well done! It was good and it certainly held my interest the whole way through!
I was typing off of my phone then and I was looking at the phone while typing. That's why.

If it;s a reoccurring error with my grammar, let me know. Otherwise, I'm more interested in Story stuff now.
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Old November 2nd, 2009, 09:55 PM   #269
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Originally Posted by madammina View Post
One is Legend of Zelda that is part of a story trade with Org. It has to deal with bubbles.

The other is in my "Origins of the Org" unofficial series. I've done Axel (Mirror Image) and Demyx (Holy Knight/Paladin) and I think I did someone else too.

Anyway, it's Lexaeus turn, but I think he'll be living this one, instead of conversations and flashbacks like the others.
Cool.

Looking forward to it.



Quote:
They should, but, alas, I can't change history.
And just wait until I deal with Rolly.
I think it's sad that people get treated bad when they're different. And what are you going to do to Rolly? :(


Quote:
Well, in this case, King and the Courtesean (while interesting) doesn't really affect HCTB. Partly due to the fact the "real" Ezekiel lives in modern times in a New York type city. Melissa does exist in that, but why and how I can't really use for HCTB (and Pseudocide's take on how Constance and Ezekiel met has Constance suggesting Ezekiel's plan for Melissa. It would be a bit Meta)

And while I've been spoiled... it's only becuase Pseudocide trusts me ;)

Plus, Org reads this and King. I don't want to spoil her.
Okay. That's fine.
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Old November 3rd, 2009, 01:02 AM   #270
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By the way...

Here are some of the paintings. Keep in mind these do the original slow changing pics. They were meant to change immediately, but couldn't due to technological implications.

http://captain-halfbeard.deviantart....ing-2-94565173
Gorgon Portrait by *Captain-Halfbeard on deviantART
Horseman Changing Portrait by *Captain-Halfbeard on deviantART
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