Timefixer

[madammina]

Ceallach stood at the door to her home. She glanced at the clock. Only a half an hour before they resumed their original forms.

"Apopis" She whispered. Her husband looked at her. His eyes were torn between a look of sadness and the cold look they would wear from this day forward. "Say your good byes now. We have to go."

"Stupid deal."

"I don't want you hurting our children."

"I won't."

"In a half an hour you will lose your soul, and with that your conscience. It's a real possibility." Apopis glanced at his fading reflection in the mirror and his wife's increasing green hue. He nodded, then ascended the stairs to the bedroom. He checked in on the two boys, sleeping peacefully. As a human he wished they had more kids, but if they did the curse... no he wouldn't think about that now. He felt his canines begin to pressure against his lower lip, and a craving for blood. He left the room quickly and went downstairs. 10 minutes.

"I love you Apopis." Ceallach said. Her hair had darkened considerably now and grew coarse and unmanagable. Apopis ears grew pointed and his eyes were turning red. Ceallach began to cast a spell. the second that midnight struck, Apopis had not only resumed his Vampire shape, but been banished from his house. He screeched his frustration at the lack of fresh blood, the turned into a German Shepherd and ran off. Ceallach, an elite banshee, looked around the house she was going to self exile themselves from. Neither of them were goig to die, soon. She drifted upstairs, and looked in on her two sons. "Good night. Have a safe life." She whispered, then began to fade away.

The next day, the oldest of her two sons got up eagerly. Today was Saturday. Saturday meant pancakes and special treat. Maybe the zoo this week. He rushed downstairs, and found noone.

"Mom? Dad?" He called out. He crept back upstairs and checked their parents rooms. No one was there.

He ran to his and his brothers room. "Moki. Moki." He repeated until he shook his 4 year old brother awake.

"What is it Seto?"

"Our parents are gone." Their lives would never be the same.

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In the American Dub of Yu-gi-oh, all Kaiba says is that their parents disappeared. While I know that means they died, I thought it would be interesting to speculate on how they disappeared and the repercussions later on in life. I'm basing it off my first (and badly written) fan fic. So updates may take a while but I'll do the best I can. Hope you enjoy!

[madammina]

Chapter 1:

Kaiba looked up at the stars. He hated ruffing it, but Veronica had insisted. She wouldn't wander him wander around by himself in a city, at least for now. He rolled over in his sleeping bag to look at her. Reading, meditating, or sleeping? He wondered. Probably sleeping he thought. He couldn't get back to sleep. His eyes saw everything that was around him. A side effect, or was it?

A few days ago he had gotten up, like normal, checked the stock market, showered, and shaved, or at least tried to. His reflection would not show up in the mirror. He thought the steam was blurring the reflection, but that wasn't the case. The only person who he trusted who would have any idea what was going on was Veronica. He wiped the lather off, changed quickly, and ran to the hostel where she stayed.

"Veronica." he said. "Open up." She opened the door, cleaning materials in hand. She never knew when she had to leave so she paid her way around with chores.

"What is it Kaiba?" She said, stepping back from the door. odd, Kaiba thought, he felt some resistance from the doorway. He made it through after a slight effort, then explained his predicament. He tried to sound calm and in control. She saw through it immediately. SHe served him breakfast, and he noticed she added an extra herb onto his pancakes. He brought his fork up to his mouth, and stopped.

"What did you put on here?" he asked.

"Garlic." SHe responded. "Say good bye, get your affairs in order. We're leaving in an hour." She cleaned up and started to pack her backpack. "Bring clothes, food, ID, and some book or something. You're going to take a small camping vacation." She slung the bag over. She held her hand out, her eyes glowed a clear, cold blue as did her hand. A staff in the corner of the room levitated, and zoomed into her hand. she looked at Kaiba. He left and followed her instructions. He said goodbye to Mokuba, took his emergency cell phone, and walked to the Hostel. She met him there. She then turned, and walked out of the city. He followed.

Now, a week later, they were in the middle of the woods. He heard a howl. Wolves. Great. His blue eyes searched out the shadows. A wolf started to stalk Veronica's prone body.

"Back off" Kaiba said, the wolf looked astonished, and did what he said. That didn't stop the second one. It pounced, and bounced off a shield Veronica had conjured in her sleep. The two wolves yelped as they ran away.

"Veronica" Kaiba said, shaking her. "Time to get up. Wolves are here."

"did you tell them to but off?" She said, straightening up. She always woke up quickly.

"Yes." He said. "Why...?" A light blazed in the distance.

"Wanna check it out?" Veronica said with an impish grin. Kaiba shrugged. Protests rarely worked on her. The walked to the bottom of a large hill. She glowed blue. "Race ya!" She teased, and shot up. Kaiba grinned, and stretched. Out of his back came 8 foot long bat wings. He gave them some experimental flaps, then rocketed up after her. The two darted around, free in the joy of flying. They both finally landed on a peak.

"Crosses." Kaiba said. There was a village down in a valley, it's wall was emblazoned in crosses.

"Hunters?" Veronica said, face drawn.

"Do you want to check it out?" She looked at him.

"Only if you want to. If you do, we're walking down." Kaiba stretched again, drawing his wings beneath his skin. Veronica turned around, and started to climb down. Kaiba followed. They finally reached the bottom. The two entered into a village, and after getting 30 feet in, an alarm rang out. The gate shut, making normal exist impossible, guards exited from by the door. Veronica heard and felt Crossbows being drawn.

"Kaiba."

"Yes."

"dissipate." The bows fired bolts at both of them. Veronica rocketed off into the city. Kaiba turned into fog.



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edit: I would REALLY like to hear what you guys think. Please post if you have something to say, even if it's 'this is too bland'

[madammina]

People, I REALLY want your opinion. Please post.

chapter 2

The consciousness that was Kaiba wandered through the streets, trying to escape the people. While he could not be harmed as fog, it was also very slow going. After several minutes, he turned corporeal. He walked now, trying not to draw attention to himself. He looked around, he listened. As far as he could tell, there was noone in the alley. He clambered onto a nearby box, then pulled himself up on a roof. Carefully keeping his balance, he scanned the city for Veronica. Hearing the tiles crunch behind him, he turned around. Veronica stood there, frowning because of a headache.

"Who are they?" He asked. She looked around.

"I don't know." She sat down on the edge. "How did we get away."

"You must have outrun them."

"yes." She waved a hand to dismiss his comment. "But you weren't exactly booking it and on a clear night like this you stuck out like a sore thumb." Kaiba frowned. He could hear something.

badum badum badum "I think they're behind us." He said.

"Of course we are, Vampire." Said a deep voice. Then the unseen assailants jumped Veronica and Kaiba. Both struggled. Veronica punched, kicked, and used balls of mental energy. Kaiba used the little he picked up from Veronica. It did no good. Both were forced off the roof. Someone grabbed Kaiba by the hair, forcing him to look in a nearby mirror. He saw and didn't see his reflection. Rather his reflection was more along the lines of looking in a window, where as much as you saw yourself, you also saw what was going on in the window. In this case, he saw what happened behind him. There were alot of people behind him. They covered every age, race, gender, everything. Most of them wore large crosses and most of them had long knives and stakes. THe refelction that was there showed a 17 year old young man, tall, brown hair that fell tidily on a lean face without looking too preppy. The body was dressed snappily with a white overcoat over a black outfit.

"What do you think, James." A voice said. "He both reflects and doesnt." James was a tall, powefully built African American man. James looked at Kaiba, then his reflecion. He thought a little.

"Put him to the side for now. Check the girl." Kaiba struggled, but was forced aside from the force of sheer numbers. Veronica was brought out too. Her green eyes blazed defiance, and her brown hair blew in a show of power. James looked the girl up and down, he took in her slightly pimpled and burnt skin, her average height, her muscular form. James finally spoke. "Put them in the prison for now, separately." Veronica struggled again, tried to lift off, but the weight proved too much for her and she blacked out from the strain. Kaiba was given the option to struggle. Someone knocked him out immediately.

[Ban Mido]

Well written, but I noticed you use the word "said" a lot. that is a little thing called "repitition." If you use the same words over and over, it starts to get stale after a while. There are plenty of words you can use that will not only imply that somebody is relaying information to someone else, but will also add some emotion to it.

For example, take the following line:

"I think they're behind us." He said.

Bland, right? It feels pretty monotone and emotionless for someone who is trying to escape from something. Now, lets replace "said" with another word.

"I think they're behind us." He whispered.

"Whispered" implies that whatever they are running from is currently out of sight and they have stopped for the time being. But just incase they are nearby, he tries to convey his thoughts to his colleague as quietly as possible, as to avoid detection. Now, lets try another word:

"I think they're behind us." He shrieked.

"Shriek" implies that they know for certain that they are actively being pursued, but don't know where their pursuers are. It gives a feeling of fear or panic. It's a prime example of how using alternative words that have the same meaning, or "Synonyms" can add much to your writing. Here are some links where you can find a variety of synonyms for "said" that you can use to meet your needs.

http://www.thecaveonline.com/APEH/said.html

synonyms for said

another thing to add is detail. Don't assume that the readers are as capable of picturing the scene/events as you are. You need to paint as complete a picture as possible. Give them enough information for them to create an image in their head. Again, I'll use the above examples.

"I think they're behind us." He whispered to Veronica as quietly as he could, keeping her and himself low to the ground to make themselves less visable in case their hunters were still nearby.

"I think they're behind us." He shrieked as he clenched Veronica's hand in a panic, desperately pulling her along in an effort to escape their unseen pursuers.

See how much more vivid that is? This shows how you can set the mood and emotion for your audience. It gives them an image to put in their heads. For success, this is essential.

[madammina]

Thanks allstar. (looks at links)

[Ban Mido]

Oh, and one other thing: There are synonyms for a lot of other words as well. you might want to think about switching words with their synonyms from time to time.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by Allstargamer

Well written, but I noticed you use the word "said" a lot. that is a little thing called "repitition." If you use the same words over and over, it starts to get stale after a while.

Yes, I also recommend you to not do that. Only use repetition in something like poetry. ^^

Anyway, just watch out for a little capitalization here and there, blah, blah, blah, and I think you've got a good fic! Hope that helps some. . .

[Cicero]

Few small thingies.

It is 'half an hour', not 'a half an hour'

Also, when you are letting a character talk, you might want to use just ' ', instead of " ", it looks quieter, and more organised.

Further with the repetitions, its also not a good thing to use 'He' 'She' 'His', all the time, try to use a lot of different names for the same people. Like 'The young man', 'The black-haired kid'. Something like that. Haven't seen it that much with you, but just pointing it out.

Finally, wanna say you did a good job with the paragraphs. A lot of times I see beginning writers starting a fanfic, and putting the whole story in one go, without using space. You're story looks good and organised, which will keep the people's attention.

Hope I helped! Good luck!

[Azrael]

so Madammina, it appears you started a fan fic of your own, GOOD JOB! I like it so far

[madammina]

Thanks Anti. Don't worry I'll keep on working on SW.

[madammina]

Chapter 3

Kaiba paced the room. It was only a little larger than an elevator. What did they want? To kill him probably. He wasn't going to try to bribe them, but he needed to get out. He was feeling Claustrophobic, which was a new feeling for him. The room was built of solid stone, leaving not even a crack. Even if there was, Kaiba could sense garlic smeared on the outside. He sighed, and slid down the wall. The door cracked open, and James walked in. Kaiba stood up quickly. James stood at the other side of the small room.

"What's your name." he demanded.

"Seto Kaiba" Kaiba responded, trying to center his business persona.

"And your sire."

"Beg pardon?" Kaiba asked.

"Who made you a vampire?"

"I don't know." Kaiba glared at the man.

"Asleep maybe." James mused, speaking more to himself than to Kaiba. "Did you receive any bites before."

"No." James made a quick move,got close to Kaiba, and placed his hand right on Kaiba's jungular. Kaiba's chest rose and fell rapidly in fright. Kaiba made a move to throw him off, but James held up a small cross with his other hand. Kaiba hissed a Vampire scream, his canines extending for the first time.

"you're an odd duck." he muttered. "A pulse, a breath, and canines. Maybe your girlfriend can let us know about you." And he left the room. Kaiba ran up against the door.

"LET ME OUT!" He shouted, pounding the door. "If you touch one hair on her head, I swear...!" It was no use. James whistled as he walked down the hall to Veronica's room.

[madammina]

again, asking for comments. Did you think I improved? got worse? favorite part? need to know more?

chapter 4

Veronica lay down in her cell, gazing at the stone ceiling of her cell. It's not like she couldn't get out of here. She could, she was a teleporter after all, but she didn't know where Kaiba was and she didn't walk on the ground led to the cell so she couldn't move herself to just beyond the door. She tried t amuse herself by thinking of her friends back in Domino City. What would they be doing? Probably dueling, Joey against Yugi in all likelihood with The Pharaoh advising. She didn't have a deck, but she rooted for her friends. She amused herself by creating a small lamp of concentrated Telekinetic energy. As she moved it around the room, she heard someone whistling. The lamp vanished just as the door creaked open.

"Good Evening." James entered the room. She sat up and winced at the sudden bright light. "you can't see in the dark? " She nodded as she covered her eyes with her sleeve. "Fine" he left, and returned in a few minutes with an oil lamp. She still didn't stand. "My names is James. I'm the head of this village."

"Nice to meet you. Now why are you holding us prisoner?"

"Fine, if you can tell me who Kaiba's Sire is."

"How do you know his name."

"I just met with him." Veronica gasped slightly, and her head fell on her chest. Her memory power had activated. The power was an odd one. When someone remembered something and was within a certain distance around her she saw what everyone in the memory saw, felt what everyone felt (physically and emotionally) tasted what everyone tasted, heard what everyone in the memory heard, smelt what everyone in the memory smelt and heard all of their thoughts. And afterwords the entire experience was engraved into her brain. It was one of her least liked powers, but it had proven it's usefullness every now and then. In James' memory, she felt Kaiba's anger and confusion and James' confusion and curiosity. When it was over, she looked up. James had an odd look on his face.

"You want to know why Kaiba is like the vampires that killed your family." She said slowly. "But not like too. He's too human, has too much compassion."

"You're a spy!"

"I have a memory power. It's a pain but..." She gave the best definition she could. After she got the power she managed to let her old teacher know about it, and found that her teacher had never heard of it before. Veronica was a test case for the ethics and limits of this power. James stood up above her, looking down at the young girl with so much power in her.

"You should know then why we are holding you prisoner." he said flatly.

"I can guess its because of Kaiba. But I'm not a Vamp, and he isn't either, at least not completely." She stood up for the first time. " As for the Sire thing, I don't think anyone was which makes this very interesting." She mused. James also looked thoughtful.

"What is your name?" He finally asked.

"Veronica Fallsworth. Though some have called me the Timefixer."

[madammina]

This has been viewed over 100 times, but the comments have been few and far between. Please tell me how I'm doing.
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chapter 5



James walked back to his room, considering what Veroinca said. Was she telling the truth? Did she simply think she was telling the truth? And what was this half vampire doing traveling with a human? He puzzled over these question as he walked down the mirrored hallway with echoing panels. The walls were draped with garlic flowers, hopefully to stop any vampires. Normally they would be protected with daylight, at least that was what people believed. But main vampires that haunted the hills that surrounded their village were semi immune to the daylight, at least a majority of the vampires weren't draculaen. That would be a nightmare. No, they were blessed that Draculeans spawned unfrequently. But the derivates, like this man Kaiba... He reached his office, and pushed open his door.

"Bertha, send Ren in." He told his blond secretary. Bertha nodded. She would do alot for James, the whole town would. This town was bound together by a similar heritage. James had found them all. Everyone had been more or less orphaned by vampires. Bertha dialed Ren's number.

"Ren, James wants to see you." Ren came quickly. She was a brunette that James had rescued from a mental institution. As a child, she had seen her family killed by Masterian Vampires. People believed she had done it herself and locked her in an asylum. Jame had heard about her, and managed to free her. Bertha watched sadly as Ren walked into the office. Ren thought her sister, Rose, had been turned. No one was sure. Bertha's wasn't nearly that tragic. She had lost an aunt she hadn't particularly cared about, but the death did shake Bertha up. The blond heard of James and sought him out instead of the other way around. Bertha cursed the vamp the stupidity of her aunt. He had been very pale, and interested only in the aunt's money. Why couldn't she had seen that? Bertha took a deep breath. That's why she lived here, to seek her revenge.


Ren closed the door behind her. "You called me?" She asked. James had his laptop open. His eyes scanned the New York Times about this man named Seto Kaiba. He was apparently photographical, but missing for the last few weeks. His company had issued a statement that he was taking a sabbatical over the summer, that was it.

"Ah, Ren. Good. I need you to do a favor. I need you to find out all you can about Seto Kaiba, from him. And send a librarian over here. " James didn't notice the paleness that spread over Ren's face.

"You sure?" She asked tentatively.

"Of course I am. Now go. I need to make a decision on them quickly. At least before the sun sets."

Ren walked out. Did he know?

"What did he want?" Ren Jumped as Bertha called out her name.

"He wanted me to interview Kaiba. And he wants a librarian to come."

"No problem. I'll get the librarian. Kaiba's in basement one." Bertha said cheerfully.

"Okay, I'll get down there." As she shut the door, she leaned against it. Kaiba could ruin everything.

[madammina]

As of right now, 119 views, 5 posts by people other than me, 12 posts total. POST!!!!!!!! And I'm sorry for not putting the chapter numbers on,

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chapter 6


Kaiba opened his locket, there in it was a picture of Mokuba when he was 3. He missed him. Kaiba sat with his back against the wall, and in complete darkness, but because he could see in the dark, it didn't bother him.

badumbadum badumbadum someone was walking toward him, and was scared. He rose slightly and walked over to the door. He could hear footsteps outside. Someone knocked. He quickly retreated to the back of the cell.

"Come in!" he said casually. He took an 'at ease' stance because he could intimidate people that way. A brunette walked in, carrying a flashlight. She shut the door behind her, unlike James. She turned the light on.

"I know you can see in the dark, but I can't. My name is Ren Field"

"Seto Kaiba. What do you want?"

"To know more about you. How did you get these powers. Do you consider them a blessing or a curse?"

"Are you a psychiatrist?" He wanted to roll his shoulders, but didn't. If he kept this position he could scare her more easily. She looked at him, and seemed to be evalulating him.

"No, I'm an orphan. I heard you are too." Kaiba tried to hold back his flinching. He hated it when people either mentioned Gosiburo as his parent or considered him because he was an orphan. People who just met him rarely considered his own merits.

"yes." From experience, he never asked how people were orphaned. It was an insensitive question.

"Will you tell me how you met Veronica?"

"Does it matter?" Field looked like she wanted to sit. He continued to stand. He was only wearing his black undersuit, so she had to shine the light on him. As she continued to look at him, she frowned. As if he reminded her of something or someone.

"Fine. I'll tell James you were uncooperative."

"I'm a businessman whose stock is sold on the stock markets, do you really think I'll hand out information willy nilly."

"he doesn't have to." James had arrived. The door opened, spreading light into the room, Kaiba's eyes adjusted immediately to the influx of light. "Take the garlic off the door and let him out. Release Veronica too. They will be needed."

[madammina]

People, I'm begging you to post

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Chapter 7

Veronica held up her hand, an orb of telekinetic energy glowed there. In her other hand she held a book, Ivanhoe to be exact. She read over Sir Brian DeBois Gilbert's successful abduction of Rebbecca, not noticing the natural light that fell across her page.

"Veronica?" She looked up.

"KAIBA! what are you doing out?"

"We need him." It was James. "Are you coming?" Veronica stood up warily.

"Why do you need him?"

"He can blend better,"

"Beg pardon?"

"Are you coming, or not." James started to close the door. "We can keep you here you know."

"I'm coming. I'm coming." She walked out into the mirrored hall. She glanced at Kaiba's reflection, still half there. He walked with a purpose like always, ready to take on the world. Ren looked like she wanted to shrink and disappear. James walked warily, like sneaky animal looking for an escape route, and to catch something to eat at the same time. James bore a lot of responsibility, that was obvious. James now opened a very large door, and the quartet stepped out into a bustling town flourishing in midday. Immediately Kaiba started to get a burn,but he was fair anyway.

"I've, I've got to go." Ren muttered, and hurried off.

"Why is she like that?"

"You're lucky she talked to you. She rarely talks to people. She took her loss harder than most, maybe because she was blamed for their deaths."

"Whose deaths?" Kaiba questioned. Veronica stayed silent, looking in a milliners shop. She could guess the answer.

"Her family. Everyone died but her and her sister. And her sister disappeared. Her Sister was 16, She was 10. " Kaiba felt a slight connectioin. Their stories were similar, but he didn't tell James. Veroinca had suddenly lagged slightly behind, she knew now. Veronica ran to catch up.

"Look, why are we out?" she panted.

"Well" James smiled. "We need you at the town meeting."