The Final Keyblade War

[Roxas 22]

OOC: this is my first fan fiction. so be brutal but please no flaming. If people like it i will put up chapter 2. this is chapter 1 the discovery

IC:The blonde haired boy woke up that morning knowing that today he and his freinds would explore the cave. They had been planning it for months. After he had gotten dressed he left to go meet his freinds Aen, Angus, and Kira, in the town square. They lived in a place called Twilight Town. A few months ago they had been exploring the woods, on the outskirts of Twilight Town, and found the cave. Today they had planned to explore it. When Seto made it to the Town Square everyone was there. Everyone except Aen. Which was Strange because Aen was NEVER late.

Aen showed up about five minutes after Seto did. When he got there Angus asked "Where have you been buddy?" " I went to get these." Aen said as he pulled three struggle bats out of his hiking pack. He tossed one to Angus and one to Seto and kept one for himself. "In case we run into trouble at the cave" he said. Seto had a look of total disbelief on his face.

Usualy it would have been him to go and get weapons. But this time it was Aen, Seto realized now that Aen had grown up a lot. the group headed towards the cave. Seto was worried about Kira who was a 17 year old blonde haired blue eyed girl who didn't know how to fight. Aen who was 18 had spiky blue hair and fully capable of holding his own in a fight. Angus was also 18 he had short brown hair and green eyes plus he was a pretty good fighter. Seto also 18 had spiky blonde hair that was sort of tilted across his head almost covering his eye, he was just as good a fighter as Aen if not better.

As they continued towards the cave Aen and Seto su\imaltaneously said "Something isn't right." "What is it?" Angus asked. "It's something in the wind." Seto said "It's deeper than that" Aen replied, "it is coming from the cave as well"" Seto was now worried about exploring the cave.

When they finally reached the cave Seto said "I'll lead" noone disagreed with him. As they went deeper into the cave they seemed to notice a light. "Let's investigate" Seto said. as they trudged on they found themselves in a chamber with pictures carved everywhere. "This is so beautiful" Kira said. "Guys look at this" Aen said. When they all turned around Aen was pointing at a rock in the center of the chamber. Seto noticed what Aen was so amazed by, three gleaming swords were lodged within the stone.

[Ban Mido]

A little rough around the edges, but it's all right. What might make it better is if you start a new paragraph when ever a different person starts talking, that way there is no confusion with who's saying what. And what helps me to see stuff that I may have done wrong is to re-read my own fanfic, to double check. I suggest you do the same and re-read your chapters, and adjust them accordingly.

Hang in there! Keep doing your best!:thumbup:

[Roxas 22]

I will i have been working on this refining it for a week. also i am using it for a wrighting project at school.

[Ban Mido]

That's cool. I wish you good luck. Maybe you can get some ideas if you read around a little.

[Roxas 22]

ya i have been planning it ofr a year but was too lazy to right it down. i am also haflway done with chapter 2

[Ban Mido]

Well, why don't you read mine? People have been saying that it's pretty good. Maybe it'll help you improve.

[Nelo Angelo]

hey this isnt a bad fic so far. it needs work as allstargamer said. read around and see the way people lay it out. makes for better reading. also longer chaps would be better.
its good keep goin.

[Roxas 22]

ok i wasn't sure how long to make it but when i wrote i down it was like 6 pages.

[Jopari]

Originally Posted by Roxas 22

ok i wasn't sure how long to make it but when i wrote i down it was like 6 pages.

In a processor or on paper? Because on paper my stories can be up to twenty pages but only equal five on Word.

[Roxas 22]

on paper but dang 2o pages. but my handwriting is really big

[Jopari]

Yeah, that's what you need to watch for. On paper a story can look really long because your handwriting is bigger than the text on the forum. So, chapters should be at least 3 pages on Word, and for the bigger chapters try to go to 10 pages on Word.

I hope to see the next chapter soon.

[Roxas 22]

I'll try and post it soon but i have bad writers block

[riku333]

i like the story expecially angus we is so funny and he is my character

[Roxas 22]

OOC: Here it is Chapter Two The Prophecy

IC: "Who goes there?" a strange voice said from behind the rock. An old man stepped out from behind the large rock. He was wearing gold and brown armour. His hair was a light grey and slightly spiked. "I'm Seto and these are my friends, Aen, Angus, and Kira." The old man looked frrom Seto to Aen and finaly to Angus. "You three are different." he replied.

"What do you mean by that?" Aen Asked sharply. Kira was looking around the cave admiring it's beauty. then she saw a carving shaped like the man in front of them and it seemed to have some words carved under it.

"I mean you may be the ones to fufil the prophecy." the man said. "What prophecy? and futher more Who are YOU?" Seto asked. "Terra. His name is Terra." Kira said. "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" The old man-Terra?- Demanded. Kira pointed over to the picture she had been staring at moments before.

"Ah yes," Terra began, "My friends and i carved that long ago" Seto gave him a strange look and asked "Where are your friends now?" Terra looked away as if in shame and replied "That doesn't matter. i would like you three-Seto, Aen, and Angus- to try to pull a sword out of the stone. Angus was already halfway towards the blade on the left. He pulled it out succesfully and said "Diamond Dust."

It was a light blue, Jagged Blade. On the end of the blade there was a snowflake shape. It also had a Keychain on the end of the handle in the shape of a snowflake as well. "Yes that is it's name." Terra said.

Aen was walking towards the keyblade on the right. He pulled it out with one hand and calmly said "Oblivion" that was obviously the name of this black keyblade with a chain running along the side. It had a large Black crownon the end. A smaller version of the crown was on the keychain. It also had a blue crystal on the hilt of the blade.

As Seto slowly edged towards the last blade in the center he felt strange. He looked at the blade closely. It seemed to change. He looked at it again but it was normal. When he finaly reached it and pulled it out he heard o voice in his head rambling on Keyblade. Darkness. Prophecy. War. Dawn. Then another voice he barely heard because it was a slight whisper over the boom of everything else Light

Seto was so confused all he managed to say was "Way To The Dawn" Terra looked at them and said, "Good, now that you have your keyblades try swinging them around." They all looked at him in confusion and replied "It's called a keyblade?" Terra replied with "Why of course. didn't you hear the voice in your head say 'keyblade' Then say the keyblades name?" aen and Angus both said "yes" Seto stood there confused. He had heard more than that. a lot more. He noticed the others were doing as instructed so he joined in as well.

He soon realized that Angus's keyblade, Diamond Dust, left behind a trail of Ice when swung. "Well no more playing around," Terra began, "come you must read and learn the prophecy." He getured out of the chamber down a tunnel and they all began going that way. The tunel had led them to a room with carving -The Prophecy?- on the wall.

Seto slowly edged towards it and upon reaching it read aloud "Evil rises from the Dark to conquer all that stand in it's way. The hope of all reside in those who use the keys. The evil will chase them down. Beware for they too have keys. An The one who wields light and Darkness will lead the keys against those who chase them."

The last part ran through Seto's head, "The one who wields light and Darkness." As he pondered this he looked down at way to the Dawn and observed it.

It had a black handle. Around the Handle was a demon wing and an angel wing forming a circle. A large Black and red Demon wing formed the main blade. A small angel wing extended out of the end of the blade. On the Hilt There was a solid blue eye with a black pupil. The keychain was a heart with two black lines forming an X Across the center.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Angus asked obviously refering to the prophecy. " It means we have to stop these... these chasers." Aen replied "That seems to be the case," Terra replied. "but it mentioned five. does that mean we are going to meet others on our quest?" Aen asked "Most likely," Terra replied.

Seto had been in Awe over his keyblade, he had forgotten about the prophecy. Now that he thought about it. That did make sence. there were only three of them so there had to be others out there...


OOC: Sorry if the description on the keyblades is bad.

[PKKzelfar]

hmm... nice fic. Roxas 22. i'd give it 9/10 keep it up!:thumbsup: