the journey of the keyblademaster and the chainsword master

[trazin]

hey everyone this is my first fan fic but just to see if you like it i made a short prequel to the first chapter tell me what you think of it

Chapter 1 how did this journey begin.

Uskay opened his eyes as he watched in utter horror as that black knight walked over to Sora.
Sora was trying but the knight was to strong the knight summoned up a dark aura which covered Sora.
Uskay tried to get up but couldn’t he was to weak.

“noooooooooo!” Uskay screamed as his dear friend’s heart was being stolen.

“Uskay get out of here.” Sora yelled

“ No, Sora we made a promise to Kairi and Sula that we would return home with Riku all of us together again now this punk’s in my way and he’s trying to steal your heart and I’m not going allow that .” Uskay said pulling out his chainsword.

Uskay ran up to the knight and started slashing at him.

“Time to finish this.” Uskay yelled.

With that Uskay’s blade started glowing he cut the knight in the middle.
The knight started to fade away.

“Sora are you okay?” Uskay asked him.

“Yeah, by the way nice fighting back there.” Sora said.

[trazin]

sorry for the double post but how did you like it

[Rauxlen]

I liked it. I don't really know who all of the characters are yet, but I would like to see this fanfiction continue.

[Frozen Fate]

You're lacking depth, description, and interest. That only took about 30 seconds to read if that. It was also rather confusing.

[trazin]

srry it was just a prequel of it i'll post the full chappie

[Rauxlen]

Originally Posted by trazin

srry it was just a prequel of it i'll post the full chappie

I consider this an update.

[trazin]

here's the first true chappie

Chapter 1 the journey’s begging

Sora was walking along the crossroads when he saw him.

“Uskay is that you ?” Sora asked

“Yeah it’s me, it’s been a while hasn’t it my friend, have you found Riku yet ?” Uskay asked

“ No it’s been one year since we saw him at the Chaos dimension have you found anything?”

“Only one thing…..his keyblade here it is.” Uskay tossed the keyblade to Sora.

“It can’t be….” Sora said

“He’s not dead.” Uskay replied

Out of the blue a black knight appeared knocking Uskay down with his huge sword

“Uskay!” Sora yelled

Uskay opened his eyes as he watched in utter horror as that black knight walked over to Sora.
Sora was trying but the knight was to strong the knight summoned up a dark aura which covered Sora.
Uskay tried to get up but couldn’t he was to weak.

“noooooooooo!” Uskay screamed as his dear friend’s heart was being stolen.

“Uskay get out of here.” Sora yelled

“ No, Sora we made a promise to Kairi and Sula that we would return home with Riku all of us together again now this punk’s in my way and he’s trying to steal your heart and I’m not going allow that .” Uskay said pulling out his chainsword.

Uskay ran up to the knight and started slashing at him.

“Time to finish this.” Uskay yelled.

With that Uskay’s blade started glowing he cut the knight in the middle.
The knight started to fade away.

“Sora are you okay?” Uskay asked him.

“Yeah, by the way nice fighting back there.” Sora said.

“No problem I have been training.” Uskay replied

“Well I came here to ask you if you would like to come with me on my journey to find Riku.” Sora said

“OK I’ll come with you my chainsword will kill any heartless, nobodies, and zero knights.”

“Zero knights?” Sora asked

“The things we just fought” Uskay said

“Well let’s go.” Sora said

[Rauxlen]

That was a good chapter. I still don't know two of the characters that you mentioned, Uskay and Sula. I need some background info on those two characters please.

[trazin]

sula basically another girl living on the island and is pratically uskay's girlfriend even though they aren't dating like sora and kairi
Uskay is an islander to and also weilds a mystical wepon know as the chain sword the anti form of a keyblade more about that will be explained later on

[Rauxlen]

Ok, thank you. I now know much more than I did befoe I started reading!

[trazin]

here's the next chappie it's not very exciting but it introduces a new character don't kill me

Chapter 2 the gummi ship

“Ready Uskay.” Sora asked.

“Yeah except for the fact that we can’t get outta here without a ship.” Uskay said.

“How do you think I got here, by the way there’s someone in the ship so don’t be surprised.” Sora replied.

When they reached the ship Uskay looked at it in amazement it had a golden body with black wings and a high powered engine it also had huge laser beam on the it’s top wing.

When they entered the ship Uskay said to himself in utter amazement “whoa it looks better on the inside than the outside.”

Inside the ship there was a huge hot tub, a huge refrigerator, a flat screen TV, 3 master bedrooms with bathrooms and best of all a huge computer. A girl came out of one of the rooms.

“Hey Sora .”she said she walked over to them and said “so you must be Uskay my name‘s Renna “

“Nice to meet you Renna.” they shook hands and Renna gave him the grand tour of the ship.

After that she said “You hungry this ship is voice commanded so just say what you want and it’ll make it.”

“Okay I’ll have a poupa shake then.” Uskay said and bam there it was Uskay greedily sucked it down in one gulp.

“it’s been a long time since I had one of those.” Uskay said wiping of his shakestashe.

“Well we are at the next world so let’s go search for Riku.” sora said coming into the main room.

“But how I didn’t even feel the ship lift off?” Uskay asked.

“Anti gravity chambers you wouldn’t feel the ship getting hit by an asteroid not that would ever happen.” Sora said hurriedly.

[Rauxlen]

Cool, it's a little short, but that's ok.

[Haku]

I have a great deal of issues reading all of what you wrote so far mostly all what FF already said but also there were a good deal of typos like you used the word "to" incorrectly its supposed to be "too" meaning that something was too much not the many versions that you had with only one "o" but also work on your length and punctuation mainly and to always proofread to make sure that there aren't any mistakes that you didn't notice your first go through.

[snowdog]

^ What Haku said. <3

It's alright for your first try, but make sure you use the advice given. :D Also, it would be a good idea to include the information about the characters within the chapters rather than outside of them. It'll give your writing the depth it needs.

Good luck! ~<3

[trazin]

srry i haven't updated in a while been busy latley
Chapter 3 saving a hero part 1 of 2

Riku was exhausted from running from the zero knights they were very persistent and he was very tired soon enough they would find him and then he would be dead and they would have his darkness. He couldn’t allow that to happen or else they would kill Uskay and Sora and his future wife Renna.

Crick clack feet were fast approaching the spot where Riku was resting .
He remembered Renna’s father king Cyrulion telling him

“You will soon be king of the chaos dimension but that does not mean you have all the power you must remember your position and also you have to protect my daughter your consort from all evil.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Uskay walked out of the gummi ship they were in traverse town only something seemed wrong. first of all there were no people around even though they were in the third district but when Uskay looked around everything was trashed the fountain was in pieces with water spilling out almost all the stores were trashed one store even had a sword sticking out of its door.

“Guys before you go take one of these they will allow us to communicate from long distances.” Renna said
Taking out a silver box she opened up inside were three watches one was black another was blue and the last was red. Uskay took the black one Sora took the blue one and Renna took the red one.

“All you have to do is say the name of person you want too talk too and there they are.” Renna said “also they scan the world as soon as you step on the ground and gives you a map of the area so you know where you are going.”

“Thanks Renna these are awesome.” Uskay said.

“Yeah, so this is what you have been making these past few days.” Sora said.

“Of course they are awesome I made them.” Renna said.

“Now let’s go look for Riku” Uskay yelled excitedly.

Soon enough they found something peculiar a huge hole , with a black card with a lock on it, in it’s center all of the sudden the keyblade started glowing and shot at the lock a black mass started growing turning into a huge zero knight with little armor on as soon as it stooped growing it started attacking Sora and Uskay.

“Man this thing is not dying .” Sora said angrily.

“Wait I know we could----Sora!” Uskay yelled

At the same moment the huge zero knight smashed Sora into a wall and was about to finish him off when Uskay took the blow for him causing a huge hole in Uskay chest it went completely through him Uskay started bleeding like crazy luckily Sora woke up in time to see what happened .

“Uskay!!!!!!!!!” Sora screamed his keyblade was glowing like crazy. Sora jumped off the wall at amazing speeds and started slashing at the zero knight with all his might. All of the sudden the zero knight was fading away.

Sora landed on the ground and ran toward Uskay

Uskay stay awake pal stay awake okay? stay awake pal, Renna come over here as fast as you can Uskay is in danger he might die if you don’t get here in time. Sora said hastily

Renna arrived moments later with a stretcher ready for him. They carried Uskay to the stretcher
And set coordinates for Disney castle.
To be continued…….